This episode is about follow-through and commitment. Todays caller, Jill, has a pattern of giving up on everything she begins. She recently quit her job, but she fears she wont follow through with her new endeavor, based on her past patterns. Do you identify with starting things but not sticking to them? When your enthusiasm wears off, do you quit and then judge yourself? Its a vicious cycle. Its important for you to get out of it. If you have someone to blame, you are not going to change. Instead of h
In this quickie episode Christine discusses her top core value: Freedom. She explores what freedom truly means and how we can experience it no matter what are circumstances are.
Are you free?
Or are you sentencing yourself with judgment and restraining yourself from expressing the awesome-ness that you are? Are you are trapped in not-enough-ness because you are comparing yourself to others? Or perhaps you are imprisoning yourself by choosing to experience anxiety and suffering. Or maybe you are a prisoner of your own story and locked away from your own truth because you are constrained by the opinions of others.
Listen in and step into your freedom.
This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn't believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode94]
One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one.
Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you don’t have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future.
Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life. Are you focusing too much on the people that didn’t love you in the way you wanted, and missing out on all the love around you?
Would you like to connect more with me and receive a resource to help you transform into owning your purpose? Use this link, ChristineHassler.com/SpiritJunkie to enroll in Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass by June 29th and receive access to the class, a one-hour one-on-one coaching session with me, a one-month membership to my Inner Circle Community, a download of my guided meditation CD and more.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Is there someone you have not been able to forgive because you truly feel what they did is unforgivable?
● Is there someone you are blaming for your not having what you want in your life?
● Do you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios and feel that things just don’t go your way in life?
● Did you grow up around addicts or as the child of addicts?
Jen’s Question:
Jen would like to forgive her mother and accept that her parents did the best they could.
Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● She didn’t get the love and attention she wanted as a child.
● She wants closure with her mother who recently passed.
● She feels broken.
● She’s created the healthy family she always wanted.
● She is keeping herself from fully appreciating and accepting the love of her current family.
● She is using her past as a scapegoat.
● As a child, she had low expectations so she wouldn’t be disappointed.
● It wasn’t her job to save her parents.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She shouldn’t identify with the victim role, and understand she received what she needed.
● She should stop mimicking her mother’s behaviors.
● She should do projection work and let the love that exists in her current life in.
● She should have appreciation and have life-affirming and positive thoughts.
Takeaways:
● If there is someone you want to hear something from, some kind of forgiveness, write a letter to you from them. Write down all the things you wanted to hear from them and read it to yourself.
● Do projection work. Look at judgments you have towards others and see how you may be doing it in your own life, externally or internally.
● Be honest about the cost of holding onto a grudge and write down what it is keeping you from. Write down all the blessings you have in life and how you may be blinded to them because of the grudge.
● Have positive expectations and use your imagination to consider the best-case scenario.
Sponsor:
ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.
Resources:
Coaches Corner with Gabby Bernstein — Turn Your Pain Into Purpose
Inner Circle Membership Community
Anxiety has been up for a LOT of people lately. So if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone. Listen in for my top tips on handling your anxiety.
This episode is about disordered eating and yo-yo dieting. Today’s caller, Alyssa, was diagnosed with an eating disorder when she was younger. She has been to therapy to help her understand abuse she endured as a child, but has not yet overcome the effect it had on her. For Alyssa to experience true healing and transformation she needs to make shifts on emotional, mental, behavioral and spiritual levels.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode93]
Many people have the experience of making progress only to see old patterns re-emerge. It can be discouraging and frustrating it can be to feel like you are backtracking, but you can get off the rollercoaster and experience growth without major setbacks.
During my coaching session with Alyssa, I held a space of compassion for Alyssa without reinforcing her victim story. There were people who would pity her and people she could blame, but pity and blame are not going to stop her from binge eating. In fact, it would trigger the behavior. We can take our power back by making choices that create change. So, I created steps to help her feel empowered.
A lot of people who were abused hold on to weight as a protective measure. because it’s our body’s response to the message from the mind of ‘I want to hide. I want to be invisible.’ If this resonates with you, listen to the podcast I did with Drew Manning, “Transforming Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach”.
Joining my Inner Circle Membership Community is a great place to get support from a loving, high vibe, compassionate community. If you are someone who has dealt with body image issues or eating disorders, and have made it to the other side and would like to know how to turn your pain into your purpose, don’t miss Gabby Bernstein’s Free Training Videos. Plus, I will be announcing a very special bonus for those of you who enroll in Gabby’s Master Class on June 23rd.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Do you struggle with gaining and losing weight? Perhaps so much so that you may have an eating disorder.
● Have you processed your issues and made progress in therapy regarding your past, but the old habits keep coming back?
● Do you sabotage your health and well-being? Is it hard for you to be disciplined and stick to a plan?
● Do you feel safe to be seen?
Alyssa’s Question:
Alyssa would like to know how to move past her eating disorder for good.
Alyssa’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● She has always felt not good enough.
● She’s forgiven people from her past.
● She didn’t feel safe as a child.
● She feels she should be beyond her issue.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She shouldn’t identify with herself as a victim.
● She needs a behavioral shift to make her feel safe in her body.
● She needs to send love to a picture of her younger self.
● She needs to reframe the belief that she can trust people.
● She should ask God to help to make her feel safe and protected.
Action Steps:
● If you have a re-emerging pattern like binge eating, what’s the payoff? It’s serving a purpose. Do some journaling as to what purpose it serves.
● If weight is something you struggle with move, into acceptance. Ask the weight what it needs. When you get the answer, create your own holistic treatment plan. Pick one thing on the behavioral, emotional, mental, and spiritual level you can commit to.
Resources:
My Favorite Summer Life Hacks!
Inner Circle Membership Community — This month’s focus is sexuality and sexiness.
Gabby has been a close friend for over a decade. We “grew up” together in the personal growth field and I have seen first hand her professional success skyrocket. I also know the incredible amount of inner work she has done that has influenced all aspects of her life and made the inspiring leader she is today.
Gabrielle Bernstein is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back and has written four additional best sellers. She was featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as a “next-generation thought leader,” and The New York Times named her “a new role model.” She appears regularly as an expert on The Dr. Oz Show and co-hosted the Guinness World Record largest guided meditation with Deepak Chopra.
In our chat on Coaches Corner we talk about her training “Spirit Junkie Master Class” which teaches both the inner and outer work that is necessary to get your message out into the world.
You can access the FREE training videos she is offering here:
I am a proud partner for her upcoming course, stay tuned to hear about my VERY special bonuses
This episode is about removing inner blocks and eliminating blind spots. Today’s caller, Jon, is struggling with how his business is structured and the people he is hiring. He thought he was calling for some practical how-tos but the call went in a slightly different direction.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode92]
To shift our outer experience we must look inward first. So often we attempt to figure it out. We try to find solutions to our problems with our mind, and look for the actions to take to fix something. But in doing so we miss the incredible chance to look within and extract the learning opportunity from the situation.
My coaching to Jon was about getting him out of his head and more into his heart. There was no issue with his accountability or drive; the block was more about how he was perceiving himself and his situation.
Whenever you are presented with a challenge, or when things in your life feel off or aren’t going the way you want, ask “What is the message?” and “What am I learning?” Answers become clear when we stop mentalizing everything so much.
When we are attempting to figure things out on our own, it’s more challenging to get a new insight. The spiritual definition of a miracle is a change in perception.
My Inner Circle Membership Community is an easy way for you to find like-minded people and get more access to me and my coaching. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to ask about membership. And, don’t miss my Coaches Corner episodes. There is new content every Saturday.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Is there a situation you can't seem to figure out?
● Are you an entrepreneur, business leader, or manager who would like to be better at making money and managing people?
● Do you think sales is a dirty word? If selling is part of your job, do you resist it?
● Do you have a clear vision of your why? Do you know why you do what you do, and do you feel passionate about it?
Jon’s Question:
Jon is finding it difficult to find the right people for his business and would like to find a remedy.
Jon’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● He finds sales frustrating.
● Rejection is a pain point for him.
● He understands the fear of survival.
● He hasn’t connected his freelancers to his why.
● He keeps himself protected from rejection.
● He will make his people feel like they are part of a team.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● He should focus more on his clients and enroll them into his why.
● He should find out why his freelancers want to work with him.
● He should consider how he has bridged gaps in the past.
● He should become less transactional and lean into connection.
● He should consider himself more of a leader and less of an executor.
Action Steps:
● If you’re stuck or challenged in any area of your life, how can you look at it from a different perspective? Stop trying to figure it out and be curious. Explore different ways of approaching it.
● What’s your avoidance trap? Is it rejection? What do you spend so much time avoiding, that you are not focusing enough time on bringing in the things you want?
● If you are in sales, is there something you need to shift, in terms of your perception of it? Do you need to become more enrolling instead of just selling?
Sponsor:
Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community — This month’s focus is sexuality and sexiness.
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
This is A MUST LISTEN for anyone on the personal growth path!!
Listen in to a juicy conversation with Danielle about her latest book, White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path from one seeker to another.
Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s inaugural Super Soul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.”
She is author of The Fire Starters Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner and journal system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries.
Danielle’s website: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/
Get your copy of “White Hot Truth”: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/whitehottruth/
This episode is about being able to accept love. Today’s caller, Samantha is in a new loving relationship but has anxiety about it which is causing her to push her partner away. Ultimately, she fears she will sabotage the relationship.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode91]
When we lack self-love and acceptance we doubt our own lovability. When what we really want is coming to us we get scared and push it away, because we doubt our own lovability. When we doubt our own lovability it makes us do some sabotaging things when it comes to relationships.
I gave Samantha some practical behavioral shifts, because awareness alone does not create change. If we think our past is part of who we are, we will never be truly free of it. We need to get the point where we realize the past is the past. It happened but it doesn’t have to be who we are.
Many times when we have a difficult experience in our past, we hold on to it because having it gets us pity, love, compassion, and attention from others. On an unconscious level, we hang on to it because we think it is how we can get compassion and be connected to people. When we hold on to our story too much, it gets us in a trap of consistently attempting to heal the past, rather than make the behavioral choices that create what we want in the present and for the future.
Eventually, you have to drop the story.
You’ll notice I used a tough-love approach when coaching Samantha. To understand why I did it and the profound shifts that can occur because of it, check out my Coaches Corner — Tough Love and People who Have Helped Me in Profound Ways. In last week’s Coaches Corner, I interviewed my friend Amanda Steinberg, author of Worth It. The episode is about embracing your relationship with money. And, don’t miss this week’s Coaches Corner with thought leader Danielle Laporte.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Do you want love, especially in the form of a romantic relationship, but it scares you?
● Are you in a romantic relationship now, and engaging in sabotaging behavior?
● Have you talked about your past and your story, but things aren’t shifting for you? Is the anxiety you feel about being in a relationship still there?
● Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to break some patterns? Even if it’s scary?
Samantha’s Question:
Samantha would like to know how to be free of the fear and anxiety she is feeling in her new relationship.
Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● She’s afraid of being hurt.
● She puts up a wall and shuts down when speaking with her new partner.
● She is trying to protect herself.
● She still identifies with her story.
● She is giving the people from her past too much power in her current life.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She needs to go back and deal with her past.
● To move to the next phase she needs to change her behavior.
● She should do release writing when instead of zoning out.
● She needs to understand she is not alone.
● She needs to do the opposite of her current conditioned response.
Action Steps:
● Take a look at your old story about love; write it out. What are you still carrying around from your past, you keep playing out? Make a list of the things you think are protecting you.
● It’s time to break patterns and shift your behaviors. You have to lean in and get a little uncomfortable, if you want change to happen.
Sponsor:
ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community — This month’s focus is sexuality and sexiness.
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
Christine talks to Amanda about how to shift your relationship with money so that you can get out of debt and/or over spending and build a secure financial foundation. This is a must listen for anyone who wants to be more prosperous.
More about Amanda . . .
Amanda Steinberg launched DailyWorth in 2009 to bring a fresh voice and an outsider's perspective to personal finance. Today, DailyWorth’s newsletter reaches more than 1 million subscribers.
In 2015, she started digital investing service, WorthFM, which received front-page coverage in The New York Times Business section
Oprah selected her to the exclusive SuperSoul 100, and Forbes named her one of 21 New American Money Masters. Amanda has also appeared on GMA, Today, CNN, and MSNBC.
She’s also the author of Worth It: Your Life, Your Money, Your Terms released in February 2017.
https://www.dailyworth.com/
This episode is about helping people instead of being a savior. Candace is a health practitioner suffering from work-related anxiety. She is wondering how to decrease the amount of anxiety that comes from feeling responsible for helping people, and she questions whether or not she is good enough to truly help them. We cover why we should not take on the responsibility of helping others, why it’s important to be of service, and not a savior, and what is truly at the root of a desire to help or save others.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode90]
I asked Candace why she worked in a health and service position. She said it makes her feel she has a purpose. Having a purpose is wonderful, but when your purpose is tied to core issues from your past — you are attempting to heal through your work — you will perpetuate an unhealthy attachment to your work, and you may suffer from anxiety or not-enoughness.
Her unresolved hurts around her emotionally unavailable parents are creating a huge attachment to her work, and anytime we have huge attachment, we feel a huge burden of responsibility, which creates self-doubt, because we are taking on way too much responsibility. We become saviors instead of truly being of service.
It’s not our responsibility to make sure people change, and it is not our responsibility to make sure they don’t suffer. I know it hurts to watch other people suffering, but we can not take away other people’s pain.
By holding a space for the suffering, instead of taking it on, we can truly help by way of compassion. The more comfortable we get with our own suffering, the more we can hold a space of love and compassion for others.
If we take on the belief that it is our responsibility to fix someone, then we assume they are broken, and not equipped to heal themselves. One of the biggest gifts we can give to others is to see them as whole, and having all the inner resources they need. People save themselves.
Sign up for my weekly blog and vlog. Last week I posted, How to Make and Nurture Friendships. Friendship is a key ingredient to your well-being so, don’t neglect it Also, subscribe to Christine Hassler on Youtube.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Do you enjoy helping people? Do you find yourself overinvested in making sure they change or heal?
● Does your sense of worthiness or value come from being needed by others or helping others?
● If you are in a helping profession, do you ever feel like a fraud, or like you don’t have what it takes to truly help?
● Do you suffer from anxiety at work, or do you ever feel depleted or drained after being with someone who is struggling or suffering?
Candace’s Question:
Candace wants to free herself from the anxiety she feels from her alternative health work.
Candace’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● Helping people gives her purpose.
● She had to beg for attention as a child.
● She is trying to give others the attention she didn’t get as a child.
● She feels emotionally drained at the end of the day.
● She is continuing to do to herself what her parents did to her.
● She has anger towards her father.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She should recognize it is not her responsibility for her patients to get better or for her to fix them.
● She should stop projecting her fears onto the people, and give them the dignity of their process.
● She should make a list of her new beliefs about her clients.
● She should make a list of self-care practices she will start, stop, and modify.
● Use Expectation Hangover to work through forgiving her parents.
Action Steps:
● Give your younger self the attention and love he or she needs.
● Move into forgiveness of anyone from your past who is reinforcing a negative pattern of taking on responsibility.
● Get crystal clear on what your responsibility is, and what is not your responsibility.
● Up your self-care game. Pick one thing you want to stop doing, one thing you want to start doing, and one thing you want to modify or change. Do it for 40 days.
● Share this episode if you feel someone else could benefit from hearing this information.
Resources:
“How to Not Take on Someone Else’s Pain” Blogpost
Coaches Corner — How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
I get a little more personal on this episode of Coaches Corner and talk about some of the amazing coaches and people that have helped me in profound ways. And often the profound ways have involved a dose of “tough love” which is not always easy to take in. I share with you how to receive tough-to-hear feedback in a neutral way so that you can shift old patterns and beliefs.
This episode is about reassurance. Laura is a people pleaser. She goes above and beyond for people and doesn’t get it back in return. She then feels disappointed. I work with her on understanding why she people pleases, why it’s selfish to be a people pleaser, and how to shift out of the pattern.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode89]
You may have heard me say this many times before, but people pleasing is selfish. It’s really all about you. You are the one who doesn’t want to upset people, you want to avoid confrontation, and you are the one who is worried about how people perceive you.
Laura knows how to be loving and giving; she just needs to direct it towards herself. Use this call as a catalyst to look at your own patterns without judgment, and without beating yourself up. The key to personal development is to work on yourself, without thinking anything is wrong with you. No one outside of you can give you the acceptance and love you need.
And, to shift out of a pattern, we have to let go of things from our past. We have to come to peace with the fact that some people in our lives are never going to change. Many people don’t have the tools to change, or they don’t want to change. The older they get, the more their patterns are reinforced.
If you feel like the black sheep of the family, or you don’t fit it, it’s ok. You may be the change maker and the lightworker. You may be the one who is willing to break generational patterns. You can love and accept your biological family but find your soul family.
As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Do you relate to being a people pleaser?
● Can you acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, but struggle acknowledging yourself for just who you are?
● Do you feel like the black sheep of your family, and sometimes you are afraid to be who you are because you might lose your family’s approval?
Laura’s Question:
Laura feels she goes above and beyond for people, and they don’t return the effort. She wants to know how to break the pattern of being a people pleaser.
Laura’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● People don’t put as much effort into her as she does for them.
● She continues to look for the love and acceptance she wanted from her mother and father in other people.
● She is looking for attention and validation.
● She feels genuine in her job as a social worker.
● Her father never told her he loved her, and she resents him for it.
● She blames herself for what happened to her as a child.
● She is ready to break past patterns.
● She is the lightworker in her family.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She should accept her parents didn’t give her the love and acceptance she wanted, and give herself the love, acceptance, and validation she didn’t get when she was little.
● Everything she wants people to say to her, she should say to herself.
● She should accept her position as the lightworker in her family.
Takeaways:
● When you are doing things for others, check in with yourself to see if you are giving without any expectations or attachment to getting something in return. Ask yourself is this giving really coming from love.
● Reverse the golden rule — Do unto yourself as you do unto others.
● Forgive the past. Let it go. and stop expecting people to change.
● Have gratitude and acceptance if you are the black sheep of the family, and find your soul family.
Sponsor:
ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
I have been hearing a lot of people complaining about being single lately and approaching their relationship status as some kind of disorder that needs to be treated. I observe so many single people, especially the ladies out there, consistently working on themselves to find their “soulmate.”
In today’s Coaches Corner I encourage you to be grateful for whatever your relationship status is – single, dating, divorced, engaged, married or it’s complicated – and embrace it because there is tremendous growth, love and even FUN that comes with each one. I also share some of the perks I have found from being single.
This episode is about getting over feeling lost, and getting yourself unstuck. During the coaching session with Lena, we uncover some past trauma and guilt which is causing her to feel as if she is living in a black hole.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode88]
If you can identify with Lena and are feeling stuck yourself, know that you are headed in the right direction towards getting yourself unstuck. Some people just go through life just going through the motions, and not being inspired. If you are aware of it, you are more likely to discover the trigger, and move past it.
If you are a coach, take note of the question I asked Lena when she said she had been doing some personal growth work. Find out what your client’s awareness level is, by asking them what personal growth work they have been doing. This helps you avoid telling them something they already know.
Also, notice how I reacted when she told me she had cheated, in contrast to my reaction when she divulged the traumatic experience with her father. I acknowledged Lena for her vulnerability, and responded neutrally to the incident, because she already felt shame around it. But, my response to her traumatic experience let her know it was a big deal, and was the cause of her feeling lost.
When something traumatic or scary happens, we go into survival mode and we disconnect. We suppress the emotional response because we didn’t know how to deal with it. I recommended Lena look into Somatic therapy to help her overcome her past trauma.
My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● Do you feel lost, stuck, or just blah?
● Is there a situation from your past you haven’t fully processed? Maybe you hoped time would heal the wound, but you never really dealt with the issue.
● Are you questioning a relationship you are currently in?
Lena's Question:
Lena wants to know how to get out of her “black hole,” and get unstuck from her current feelings of discomfort.
Lena's Key Insights and Ahas:
● She was scared by the actions of her father, and felt he turned his back on her.
● She feels guilty about the breakup with her ex-boyfriend.
● She suppressed her feelings of trauma, fear, and guilt.
● She has lost herself.
● She doesn’t want to be in her current relationship.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She should work with a Somatic therapist to deal with her trauma.
● She should stop compromising in her current relationship and show up authentically.
Takeaways:
● Is there anything you haven’t forgiven yourself for, or a reason you may be punishing yourself? Where do you think you did something wrong? Why do you think you can’t have what you want?
● Get Expectation Hangover and do the Release Writing or Temper Tantrum techniques to help you get unstuck.
● Google Somatic Therapy to learn more about it. It may be helpful in your getting over a trauma from the past.
Resources:
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
Listen in as Christine answers the most common questions she gets: How do I have more energy?
Also how do we stop taking on other people’s stuff? And how do we go out and engage in our daily lives without feeling depleted?
Don’t miss this quickie tip!!
This episode is about overcoming the fear of success and the fear of failure. During the coaching session with Becca, it is clear she intellectually knows what she needs to do to build her business, but she can’t commit to doing it.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode87]
Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or changing or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has something to do with rejection, loss of money, or status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail.
So, how do we overcome these fears? It's about more than taking action steps towards your goals. Maybe, you have tried to overcome it by just doing whatever it is. But, until you upgrade the beliefs and old triggers, which perpetuate the fear, you will continue to find yourself in your own way.
Many people think money will make them feel better about themselves or make them more confident. But it doesn’t — confidence is an inside job. We can’t create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth.
When we have self-worth and do the internal work, we express our gifts and align with our higher purpose. We are then able to attract money to us. It is important for us to have a wealth consciousness.
Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.
My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● What are your fears around failure or success? Do you know what to do when it comes to your business, but you aren't doing it?
● Is there a part of you that has longed to fit in?
● Do you feel guilty if you have too much good in your life?
Becca's Question:
Becca is about to start a new quest but she finds herself unable to get started.
Becca's Key Insights and Ahas:
● She didn’t like growing up privileged.
● Cooking is her way of connecting to people.
● Guilt and shame were at the core of her eating disorder.
● She enjoyed having a secret, which was her eating disorder.
● She has an unhealthy relationship with money and success.
● Her guilt prevents her from stepping into her passion.
● She is scared not to have connections with people.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She needs a new image of what success and wealth look like.
● She should write out her new definition of fitting in, and her definition of success.
● She needs to give herself a feeling of longing and connection.
● She needs to work on feeling grateful.
● She should get a business coach.
Takeaways:
● Write out your new definitions of success and failure. Get clear about how you want to define success.
● Write out your worst-case scenarios around success and failure.
● Identify the payoff of your negative emotions and find a way to get the payoff in a positive way.
● If you are starting a business, invest in a coach to help hold you accountable.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinehassler on Instagram
Listen in as Christine gives you the cure for comparison and jealousy. This advice is transformational if you implement it (and is way more effective than just attempting to “stop comparing!”). If you use this advice, you will see how comparison can actually be a very wonderful thing.
This episode is about becoming a loving parent to ourselves. My coaching session with Joanne is a beautiful example of how important it is to give ourselves the love or attention we did not receive from our parents. Even if you had super loving and attentive parents, you should still be giving yourself the same kind of love.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode86]
A lot of people believe they can heal the wounds from their own childhood by being a different kind of parent than they had. And while breaking generational patterns is incredibly valuable, it is only 50% of how we heal. We must mother or father ourselves with the same unconditional love and attention we give our children.
Two things often come up as blocks when we attempt to take quiet time for ourselves. One, the guilt or expectation that we should be doing other things that are "more productive." Two, feelings we may not want to deal with can surface when we take quiet, meditative time.
People who have children sometimes say, "My children are my teachers." When you have children it is common for things from your childhood to be triggered. Suppressed or forgotten memories start to come forward. It is important for parents to acknowledge there may be something for them to learn from it.
Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.
My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
● What kind of parent are you to yourself? Would you talk to or treat a child the way you talk to or treat yourself?
● How did you feel loved and nurtured by your parents? Are you giving the love and nurturing to yourself?
● How did you not feel loved and nurtured? How can you start giving that to yourself?
● When it comes to self-care and making time for yourself, do you find other 'to-dos' take priority?
Joanne's Question:
Joanne finds it challenging to provide herself self-care on a routine basis. She continually gives other things priority over her self-care.
Joanne's Key Insights and Ahas:
● She’s aware of how important self-care is.
● She feels mom guilt when she is not spending time with her baby.
● She is mirroring a pattern her mom had when she was growing up.
● She wanted love, attention and acceptance from her mother.
● She broke generational patterns.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She needs to mother herself in a way she wasn’t mothered as a child.
● She needs to acknowledge herself for the mother she is.
● She should talk to baby Joanne and be with her in a mothering way.
Takeaways:
● Make ‘you time’ a priority, and leave a space open for your feelings to come forward. Suppressing your feelings through distraction will eventually wear out.
● Give yourself the love you crave from your parents, or that you got from your parents.
● If there are issues from your parents to be addressed, write them a forgiveness letter and let them off the hook.
● Have a conversation with your younger self, and tell them anything you yearned to hear from mom or dad but didn’t.
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine responds to questions from listeners. The first topic is around how to set healthy boundaries and break toxic patterns with family members. The second question is regarding whether avoiding disappointment is possible. Listen in as Christine talks about dealing with “Expectation Hangovers” and how to purse goals without setting yourself up for a let down.
Links:
Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for a retreat open to men and women: LOVE, PRACTICE MAKES THE MASTER. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490
Dealing with disappointment? Want to learn how to transform what Christine calls an “Expectation Hangover” into a massive opportunity for growth? Be sure to get her latest book here:https://www.amazon.com/Expectation-Hangover-Overcoming-Disappointment-Work/dp/1608682412
This episode is about taking steps towards your dream. Today’s caller, Daniel, is passionate, and his enthusiasm is contagious when he talks about his music. When he deviates from his dream to take jobs just to pay the bills, he gets depressed. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode85] I like to say, dreams are actually our inner psychic knowing what is to come to us. Things we feel called to, from our heart. How do we know what is coming from our hearts and what is coming from our ego? Get clear about it by reading my What’s the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise? Vlog post. Our head has wants; our heart has desires. When we are not listening to our heart or we are not pursuing the things we love, a part of us may start engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. It's important to not have the soul sucked out of us. Feed your soul and do things to fulfill your creativity and your passion. Don't let anything suck the soul out of you! Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. If you don’t know Aubrey, go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● What are your dreams? Are you giving yourself permission to pursue them? ● Have other people’s doubts or comments about your dreams prevented you from listening to your own inner guidance? ● Do you have a limiting belief that you are too old, too unqualified, or too poor to go after what you want? ● If you are in pursuit of a dream, are you actively and consistently taking steps toward it? Daniel's Question: Daniel wants to know which action steps he should take to pursue his dreams. Daniel's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He feels pressure to get a regular job. ● He is a perfectionist. ● He doesn’t know if he is practical or irrational. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should go for it 100%; get his work out there, and identify people to emulate. ● He should put together a demo reel. ● He should hustle for a year before making a decision about additional schooling. ● He should compose his personal mantra. Action Steps: ● What is your dream? ● Are you going after your dream? If not, why not? What is your excuse? ● What is one action step you can take to move toward it? ● Post your action step as a comment to the show notes so that I may root you on! Resources: Christine Hassler What’s the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise vlog post Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat Upwork Elance
Listen to this reassuring message from Christine that will remind you of the truth of who you are.
This episode is about not feeling good enough. Today’s caller, Jen, knows it is not good to believe she is not good enough, but she feels her problem is insurmountable. The essence of who Jen is isn’t broken, it’s just a pattern she’s comfortable in. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode84] Jen is experiencing a limiting belief. It shows up in a variety of ways, like her feeling not deserving, feeling broken, or not being lovable. It can lead to insecurity, people pleasing, body image issues, eating disorders, and accepting dysfunctional relationships. During the call, I allow Jen to go on for a while because I am waiting for her to ask for help. For those of you who are being coached or in therapy — If you are more committed to keeping your story than to truly letting go of it, you are uncoachable. We all get attached to our limiting beliefs, because they are familiar, comfortable, and often get us the attention we are seeking and the validation or sympathy for how hard life is. There is merit to discussing our past, and healing memories. But, we must do it with vulnerability, compassion, and forgiveness so we can let it go, to get over it and on with what we want to create. Awareness without action is merely psychological entertainment. Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don’t know Aubrey go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is becoming masterful at love. Sign up for this incredible retreat. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining my Inner Circle membership community. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you struggle with not feeling good enough? Do you doubt you are worthy or capable of having the things you truly want? ● When you get close to the things you want, do you often sabotage it or doubt you can keep it? ● Do you make your ‘enoughness’ conditional? Jen's Question: Jen wants to know how to move past her past traumas, and change her narrative. Jen's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She is holding on to an old pattern because it’s comfortable. ● She believes her failed relationships and loss of friends is her fault. ● She withdraws and isolates herself. ● She gets her value from external validation. ● She is not seeing her life accurately. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to commit to shifting and interrupting her ingrained patterns. ● She can stop her thoughts of not being good enough, and create a new neural net. ● She should take a lesson from the children she works with. ● She should get a photo of her younger self and talk to it. ● She should create of voice memo of positive sayings to herself. Assignments: ● How attached are you to your story? Stop telling your sob story. ● Practice release writing to release emotions. ● Stop your thoughts and redirect them with the help of the ‘Whoaing’ technique in Expectation Hangover. ● Get a picture of your little one and use it as a way to generate love and self-acceptance. Sponsor: Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat
Jennifer is a therapist who is feeling physically depleted after working with clients. Christine gives her best tips for protecting her energy and serving people in a way that is energizing, not depleting. James is 54 years old and has worked at the same office job for three decades. He is interested in shifting to becoming self-employed but is disappointed he has not been able to get his new career off the ground. Listen in as Christine addresses both these topics. Links mentioned: Love: Practice Makes the Master! Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for an empowering and transformational retreat in Austin. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490 EP 83: Letting Go of Parental “Mistakes” with Cathy. Make sure to listen to this episode to hear Christine talk about the difference between sympathy and compassion.h christinehassler.com/2017/04/episode83/
This episode is about breaking the cycle of generational patterns. Today’s caller, Cathy, experienced corporal punishment as a child, and finds herself doing the same thing to her daughter. As you listen to the call, I hope you are able to separate her character from her behavior. Her behavior is a reaction to her past. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode83] I’ve said many times, parenting does not come with an instruction manual. Often, we play out behaviors we learned from our parents. It requires a conscious awareness to know what behaviors we want to leave in the past, and which we pass on to our children. We need to have deep compassion for our parents and then forgive them, to stop repeating generational patterns. Stopping the cycle entails awareness, healing of our past hurts, and then the reparenting of ourselves to become the loving parent we never had. Abuse continues because the victim never heals. The victim either becomes the abuser or internalizes the abuse. Often, people do not share about past abuse, because there is so much shame. This is not just true for abuse, it is for any generational pattern. Coaches Tip — When clients share things that are hard to hear, don't go into judgment or sympathy. If you catch yourself doing so, say, "I forgive myself for judging or feeling sorry for this person," then shift back into compassion. Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don’t know Aubrey, he is the CEO & Founder of the human optimization company, ONNIT. The focus of the retreat will be about Mastering Love, for men and women. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining my Inner Circle membership community. Keep These Distinctions in Mind: ● Acceptance versus judgment. ● Compassion versus sympathy. Cathy's Question: Cathy wants to understand how she may have adversely affected her daughter's self-esteem. Cathy's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She feels she made mistakes with her first daughter. ● She finds herself going back to the parenting tactics of her parents. ● She didn't like being a girl growing up. ● Her daughter is mirroring her. ● She has unresolved issues from her childhood. ● Her mother didn't defend her. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should talk to her younger self through a photo, and tell herself she did not deserve the punishment she received. ● She should work with a counselor or a coach who has experience with childhood traumas. ● Research parenting and discipline tools. ● When she gets triggered, she should practice giving herself a time out. Assignments: ● Get a picture of little you and commit to sending love to the little boy or girl inside of you. ● If you are aware of your need for healing, get professional to walk you through it. ● If you find yourself triggered by something, give yourself a time out. ● Use the scientist technique of Expectation Hangover and become an observer in your life. ● Consider what patterns you want to pass along to your children, and which ones you want to break the cycle of. ● Read Family Secrets by John Bradshaw and Conscious Parenting by Shefali Tsabary.