We all go through different phases in life such as graduating, finding our first job, a mid-life crisis, marriage, having a child, starting a company, retiring, etc. There are also different seasons in life to go through which come more frequently than phases. Like the times when we are busy at work, slowed down because of an illness, distracted by a relationship or just going through internal growth; and things that require us to change our pace or priorities.
Consider this, life of an athlete, metaphor shared with me by my friend Lewis Howes. You are not always in the play-offs. In fact, you would burn out if you were. There is a training season, game season, the play-offs and then of course, offseason. To play at their best, players respect the season they are in. It’s important that we respect the seasons we are in to be our best in life.
As I have said before, we often wear our busyness like a badge of honor. Somehow we have made doing, doing, doing greater than being, being, being. We are constantly going for things as a distraction. When we are consistently going for the next big thing we don’t have to feel the little things (that are really big things) we sweep under the rug because we just don’t want to deal with them. AND, we are addicted to control. We are great at putting time and energy into the results we want. The more effort we put into getting what we want the more we feel entitled to get the results. When we get what we go after, we win. It brings a sense of security and accomplishment. We feel safe and on track and we want more. But why do we want more? Because it gives us the feeling of control and we love control because the unknown is downright scary.
The truth is we really don’t have control over our lives. And nothing illuminates that truth more brightly than an expectation hangover.
Today’s caller, Lisa, relates to being a doer and an overachiever. She wants to know what her next big thing is. Even though she may not have given herself time to experience some recent transitions and expectation hangovers in her life.
As our souls grow, our higher self and our inner wisdom know exactly when the right time is to process something. Sometimes we are not ready to deal with something. Sometimes we don’t remember something until later. But when it does start to come up, it is so, so crucial that we respect it and be with it.
Coach’s Tip - Coaches may notice my style is a bit different in this call. I could sense Lisa is a highly, intelligent woman who likes to figure things out. And, because I knew figuring things out was of value to her, I wanted her to have the experience of figuring things out but in a different way. It was important she connected to her own inner wisdom about what she really needed. It was simply my job to hold the space for her and to ask her questions. Remember, realizations people come to on their own are profound.
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Several major changes in Lisa’s life have her confused about where to go and what to do next.
Lisa's Key Insights and Aha’s:
How to get over it and on with it:
Assignments and Takeaways:
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