Over It And On With It

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CC: Optimize Your Health with Dr. Stephen Cabral 0

Jan 14, 2023

Dr. Cabral, a functional and naturopathic doctor, joins me again to talk about what truly keeps us healthy and how important is it to measure certain things in our body so we can PREVENT disease, aging and just feeling not great.

Listen to him analyze my results from a minerals and metals test and be one of the first to receive a FREE minerals and metals test plus analysis here: https://shop.stephencabral.com/over-it-on-with-it-free-lp003

More about Dr Cabral:

Dr. Cabral has more than 20 years in the natural health field, worldwide internships, dozens of certifications, and a doctoral degree in Naturopathy.

He is the host of his top rated podcast, “The Cabral Concept” where he’s gotten over 30 million downloads.

He has appeared in every type of media outlet as a national health & wellness consultant, as well as a contributor to MTV, Men’s Health, Women’s Day, Maxim, SELF, Diet.com, NutritionData, Conde Nast, and many others.

He has also authored and co-authored 4 books including his #1 International Best Selling book, the Rain Barrel Effect, and has published over 1,100 articles.

Dr. Cabral is the Founder & CEO of Equi.Life, a health & wellness company that offers At-Home Lab Testing, Coaching Calls with an IHP Certified Health Coach and over 125+ Supplements & Protocols.

In addition, Dr. Cabral is the Founder & CEO of the Integrative Health Practitioner Institute where he has certified thousands of people all over the world as Integrative Health Practitioners so that they can heal themselves and heal others.

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EP 383: Lean Into Love Even When You Feel Like You Want to Withdraw with Linet 0

Jan 11, 2023

This episode is about a pattern of withdrawal and doing deep work when you are not resourced. Today’s caller, Linet, is a sleep-deprived new mother who finds it difficult to express her emotions with her partner. When her partner expresses his feelings she feels judged. Christine guides Linet through ways she can use her current situation to heal the pains of the past and lean into love.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode383]

Oftentimes, when we are dealing with lower hormones, we can’t rely on biology. We need psychology and we need to use our heart. It is not the time to do deep work and bring up painful experiences from our past when we are sleep-deprived, hormonally challenged, or adjusting to major life changes.

If you are currently under-resourced it is not the time to dig deep into core wounding. Doing so can reactivate the trauma because you don’t have enough resources to hold you through the process. But, it could be the time to break patterns and choose more into experiences you wish you had as a child.

When it comes to pattern breaks it takes a commitment. Whether you are finding a way for your child or your inner child we have got to find a way to break a pattern. Patterns are patterns for a reason and breaking a pattern is a choice.

If we keep doing the same thing we keep getting the same results.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a pattern of withdrawing or related to the avoidant attachment style?
Do you get angry at yourself or others but underneath you are just sad?
When your partner comes to you being vulnerable, do you feel as if you have done something wrong? When they make a request of you, do you judge them or judge yourself?
Do you want to break a pattern in your parenting? Would you like to be a different parent than the way you were parented?

Linet’s Question:

Linet would like to express her concerns without sounding critical or judgmental and learn how to eliminate roadblocks in her relationships.

Linet’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has problems expressing her emotions.
She feels angry, frustrated, and distant often.
When her husband shares his emotions, she feels judged.
Her relationship is 1.5 years old.
She is a new mother and recently lost her libido during postpartum.
She is hard on herself and has expectation hangovers.
She isn’t sleeping well.
She has had to hold it all together throughout her life.
Intimacy frightens her.
Her mother didn’t make her feel safe to share her emotions.
She finds it easy to connect and nurture her daughter.
When she withdraws, she wants to be loved.
She is ready to break patterns.
This is her first relationship that has lasted more than three months.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Have compassion for herself during major changes in her life.
Practice leaning into love when she wants to withdraw.
Avoid doing deep work until she is fully resourced.
When she wants to withdraw, ask for a hug instead.
Give little Linet the hugs she needs.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Epic Sex and Legendary Love with Layla Martin 0

Jan 7, 2023

Layla Martin is a thought leader in the ever-emerging worlds of sexual wellness, Tantra, erotic empowerment, and personal development.

As founder of the VITA™ Method, she’s been certifying professionals in a Tantric approach to Love, Sex, and Relationships for over 7 years and has taught over 12,000 paid clients.

For 20 years, Layla traveled the world as a devoted student of Tantra, training with the most high-level teachers of this powerful tradition. She studied human sexuality, neuroscience, and biology at Stanford University, and immersed herself in the energetic traditions of Taoism and early witchcraft.

Along the way, she personally curated a dynamic, holistic system from over 10,000 hours of practice that blends ancient traditions with modern techniques. The VITA™ Method is proven to help heal trauma, release limiting beliefs, and awaken life-changing levels of pleasure.

You can learn more about her VITA certification program at christinehassler.com/layla

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EP 382: New Year’s Process Part Two 0

Jan 4, 2023

This is the second part of my annual ritual to complete this year and step forward into 2023 with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a receiving process and meditation to start 2023 with steps to get clear about what you want to call in. Be sure to listen to the 2022 release episode to prepare you to receive freely.

We are $30 off on our breathwork and meditation series. Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork and use the promo code HOLIDAY.

And, January 10th is the first virtual group coaching night of 2023! Go to ChristineHassler.com/group.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout.

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

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CC: New Year's Process, Part One 0

Dec 31, 2022

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2022 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week.

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EP 381: Getting Past the Sadness of Rejection with Lisa 0

Dec 28, 2022

This episode is about getting past the fear and pain of rejection. Today’s caller, Lisa, is triggered when she feels not chosen or rejected by others and would like to know why. Christine connects some powerful dots that may help you connect some dots in your life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode381]

Sometimes we adopt the behavior of a parent we empathize with or a parent we felt sad for. So, when we realize we are tender about something, first, we need to take 100% responsibility for it. Then look at what we need to heal and recognize we need to have self-love and self-care to work with our wounding.

Repetitive triggers or sets of feelings that keep coming up over and over again are pointing us toward healing. Like our bodies letting us know we are sick by getting a fever or runny nose. Our repetitive triggers let us know there is an unresolved wound that needs healing.

Two important things to remember:

When our pain, experience, or our trigger feeling doesn’t really match the reality of what is going on, it always means we are time traveling. It means we always are being reminded of people — usually from our childhood — when our current reaction really doesn’t match the circumstances. Rejection is painful but a lot of times we are not being rejected.

And, we can’t just do our inner work and then tolerate behavior that isn’t great. A lot of people fall into the trap of believing it is their wounding and not letting others take responsibility for their actions. As we heal, we learn to ask for what we need, speak our truth, and authentically self-express.

Check out Christine’s Reflect and Release 2022 podcast and the Call in the New Year podcast being released the first week of January.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you notice that you almost overreact when you feel rejected or your experience often doesn’t match the reality of what’s going on?
When you feel left out or when you feel not chosen, does it just bring up terrible sadness for you?
Do you constantly need reassurance that you are chosen, you are loved, and liked?
Did your parents go through a divorce when you were a child and it is still impacting you today, and possibly impacting your fear of rejection?

Lisa’s Question:

Lisa would like guidance on how to overcome her fear of rejection.

Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is triggered when she feels not chosen or left out.
Her reactions aren’t in-line with what is happening.
Previous relationships may be triggering her.
Her parents divorced when she was six.
She told her dad she wanted to live with her mom.
Her sense of belonging was rattled.
She has a sensitivity to rejection.
She is never sure what is her fear or what is an infraction.
She tests her partner.
She modeled her father after not being chosen.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

When she feels triggered, ask herself what her inner child needs, then provide it.
Ask her partner and friends to support her.
Have a conversation with her partner about the things she would like.
Do the Inner Child Workshop.

Takeaways:

Look at where your pain around rejection may link to a sense of not belonging and how you can give your inner child now what it needed then.

Consider how you can help heal your fear of rejection by making clear requests of others.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Money & Love - How to Deal with Finances in Relationships with Ramit Sethi 0

Dec 24, 2022

Ramit Sethi is the NYT best selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich and host of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast where he speaks directly with couples about how to build a better relationship with money and with each other.

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EP 380: Finding Joy in Times of Grief with Kate 0

Dec 21, 2022

This episode is about honoring lost loved ones and loving our way through grief. Today’s caller, Kate, is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her mother. Christine offers comfort and ways she can feel joy alongside the tears by doing things in a way that honors the beautiful memories of her mother.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode380]

In this crazy ride of a life, there are times of unbelievable joy, heart-bursting gratitude, and sometimes heart-wrenching grief. These are all aspects of love. Yet, none of us live forever, and we are all going to lose people we love.

Loss is one of the hardest things we encounter in the human experience. We don’t get out of this world without suffering. But, if we see grief and loss as part of love and we can see our grief as an expression of love, then it helps us have the courage to actually feel our way through it.

It is helpful to be honest about our feelings and not worry about drowning in them but rather be intentional about welcoming our feelings and know that we have a life preserver and will not drown. We are more likely to drown in feelings we suppress than in feelings we allow.

The beautiful and difficult thing about the human experience is that we feel deeply, especially if we’ve shifted ourselves out of patterns of suppression, distraction, repression, and numbing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you lost someone or something recently and you are afraid to dive into your grief because you don’t know how deep it will go?
Do you have a parent that is on the other side and you’d like to cultivate a relationship with them or do things in their honor?
Are you saving things or not doing things in your life and grief could be an inspiration to do them?
Are you willing to open your heart fully to love even if that means losing?

Kate’s Question:

As the holidays approach, Kate is grieving over the loss of her mother. She is searching for guidance on how to handle her grief.

Kate’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her mother passed away after a battle with cancer.
She is in her early 20s.
She and her mother bonded over gardening.
People are offering condolences and advice on how to get over her grief.
She is an only child.
Her mother wants her to be happy.
She finds solace in her partner and her puppy.
She finds it beneficial to talk with her therapist.
Her mother taught her about kindness and love.
She finds it difficult to reach out for support from her family.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Know that her mother will forever be in her heart.
Live and do things in a way that will honor her mother, like making her favorite tea.
Find joy in her memories and find joy alongside the tears and the loss.
She is doing a great job of taking care of herself.
Reach out to family members for support.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

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Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Make Relationships Better with John Kim 0

Dec 17, 2022

John Kim, LMFT, also known as the Angry Therapist pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. John and his partner, Vanessa, live together in Los Angeles with their daughter. Together, they co-authored the book IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU: Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better .

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EP 379: How to Change When You Are Scared of Change with Toni 0

Dec 14, 2022

This episode is about making the changes we know we need to make. Today’s caller, Toni, has done personal development work but still feels stuck in her relationship. Christine explores the possibility that Toni knows the changes she needs to make but is letting the fear of change hold her back from taking action.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode379]

Remember not to judge progress by external shifts. While external shifts are important it takes time for things to shift. Often, the season we are in is the awareness or the processing. We need to work our way up to making a change. But, eventually, we do have to make the change. Because awareness isn’t enough.

Integration and true transformation only happen when we change behavior. It doesn’t matter how much processing we do or how much information we have. The process of true transformation requires making big changes.

In life, if we could just connect the dots and things would change, life would be easy. It doesn’t work that way, for things to change we often have to take bold action.

Often, we know the changes we need to make but we don’t want to make them.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a situation you know needs to change but you just are terrified of making the change? Have you done all the work but still feel stuck?
Do you relate to being a people pleaser and a caregiver and you feel great in the role of taking care of others but no one’s taking care of you?

Toni’s Question:

Toni is feeling stuck in her relationship and is looking for guidance on how to make a change.

Toni’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She does personal development work but something isn’t shifting.
Her five-year relationship is issue-based.
Her partner may be emotionally unavailable.
She feels her relationship may not go the distance.
She had instability in her childhood.
She wanted safety and security from her father but didn’t receive them.
She cared for her father during his alcoholism until his passing.
She is a caretaker in all of her relationships.
Awareness has become her safety and security.
The only way she has gotten love is by taking care of others.
When she gets overwhelmed she shuts down.
She is afraid to leave her relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge and celebrate shifts she has experienced.
Make some big, scary changes.
Leave the relationship.
Stop using fear to not make a change.
Get support through a coach, therapist, accountability partner, or friend.

Takeaways:

Where are you stuck because you aren’t taking a step forward?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: It's That Time of the Year...Time to Set (and Uphold!) Boundaries 0

Dec 10, 2022

It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries.

But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving?

These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

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EP 378: How to Parent When Your Inner Child is Still Traumatized with Nicole 0

Dec 7, 2022

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today’s caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378]

Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven’t ever transformed. It’s a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we’ve distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven’t really, truly taken care of ourselves.

Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren’t living to our fullest potential. The deepest level of contentment that we can access is limited because so much of our energy is spent on managing what we’ve never truly transformed. To get to where we want to go in life, we have to transform and that requires healing on deeper levels. There is nothing that can catalyze that like having children.

Children often bring forward the things that we have swept under the rug. They force us to look at ourselves. They trigger us. They are the perfect teachers because we love them so much and we don’t want to pass on our pain and trauma to them. We want to transform. but we don’t know how because our inner child is still wounded; we haven’t healed our traumas from our childhoods.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a parent and do you sometimes question your parenting?
Do you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and has being a parent activated it, or if you’re not a parent, do you know you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and you’re not sure what to do with it?
Do you just feel too busy, or that there is too much going on in your life to deal with any of your trauma or do any healing?

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole is triggered by her child and would like guidance navigating her parenting journey while healing her trauma.

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has food insecurity issues.
She has child abuse, neglect, and abandonment traumas from her childhood.
She isn’t in contact with her family.
She feels she has to run the family and home by herself.
She feels stuck in her relationship.
Her nervous system is deregulated and in survival mode.
She feels anxious and overwhelmed.
She is unpredictable and inconsistent based on her trauma.
She feels she doesn’t deserve her daughter.
Her daughter was abused by someone close.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Make time for herself to heal her trauma.
Regulate her nervous system daily by humming and taking deep breaths.
Make a place for her daughter to have a temper tantrum.
Be present with her daughter.

Takeaways:

What are the things you can do daily to regulate your nervous system?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: My Birth Story 0

Dec 3, 2022

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

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EP 377: How Your Self-Worth Impacts Your Net Worth with Rich 0

Nov 30, 2022

This episode is about being open to opportunities by eliminating the walls we have up. Today’s caller, Rich, feels blocked in building his coaching practice but the session is not so much about building his coaching practice but about him becoming his own best client because his biggest blocks are his own beliefs and unresolved hurts.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode377]

We are told many things in our lives. Some of those things are not always positive. We tend to take on criticism much more than the compliments and acknowledgments we were given. Especially if that criticism came from a parent or any authority figure. Those criticisms from our past repeat like a broken record in our heads and impact our future. So, instead of living the life we want, we keep listening to the old story.

Whose voice is in your head that you have adopted as your own? It is time to give that voice back and not allow it to define you.

How we do anything is how we do everything. Many times we try to change our external circumstances thinking that a new job or new relationship will change the patterns and programming of things we don’t like. But, if how we do anything is how we do everything, then we just apply the same patterning and programming to the next thing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you suffering because you cannot identify your purpose?
Is there a person in your life who is struggling to find their purpose? Do you push them to find their purpose or try to find it for them?
Do you feel worthy and deserving inside? And, how does your self-confidence, or lack thereof, impact your results?
Is someone else’s voice inside your head? Do you need to banish it?

Rich’s Question:

Rich would like to know how to get over his fear and anxiety to follow through with his goal of becoming a coach. He wants to overcome his limiting beliefs from his past, which may be blocking his future success.

Rich’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He was providing his coaching services for free.
He feels friends and family are expecting more of him.
He is getting married soon.
He suffers from social anxiety and has a hard time focusing.
He meditates and exercises to deal with his anxiety.
He has a mission to make an emotional impact on people’s lives.
He was criticized as a child by his stepfather.
He struggles with self-worth and fears failure.
He is a sensitive creative.
He has done work around self-compassion.
He is not sure of the source of his resistance.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do emotional healing and forgive himself for buying into the misunderstanding that he is not worthy.
Realize the way he is treating himself is how his stepfather treated him.
Treat himself like he treats his clients.
Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to release his anger.
Consider what makes him authentic and worthy.
Design a program for himself and become his best client.

Takeaways:

Write down your limiting beliefs and figure out who owns the voice.
Move into compassion for anyone who programmed your thoughts.
Write a letter to give an unwelcome belief back to the person who gave it to you.
Be honest about the emotional walls you have put up and be committed to taking them down.
Set up two chairs and carry out your own therapy session.

Sponsor:

Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to get an Air Doctor today go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 35% off on selected models.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 376: Their Story: Part 3 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Claire & Jimmy 0

Nov 23, 2022

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today’s call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376]

If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more.

It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner’s wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It’s not to tolerate toxic behavior but to adjust our behavior and our request to show we are empathetic and understanding of who our partner is.

The process of relationship is to continue to work on ourselves, work out our own triggers, and move toward our partner. Every relationship takes comprise. Love is a verb, not just the words.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a relationship and you keep looping on the same argument over and over again?
Do you have a sense that the argument, the disagreement, or the trigger you’re having could be linked to a deeper issue?
Are you willing to compromise in your relationship or do you just want it your way?
Are you ignoring the ways your partner does love you and does show up for you because it is not exactly the way you want it?

Claire & Jimmy’s Question:

Claire & Jimmy together.

Claire & Jimmy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Claire triggers Jimmy to put his walls up and he shuts down.
Jimmy’s version of being committed doesn’t match up with Claire’s.
Claire is yearning to have Jimmy all-in, in the relationship.
Intimacy is scary for Jimmy.
They are helping each other heal.
Claire is scared she can’t get her needs met in their relationship.
They both realize they need to make some changes.
Jimmy is sensitive to disappointing people and timid about the level of commitment Claire wants.
They have a coffee date, meditate together, and relax in the hot tub at night.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Claire can acknowledge all the things Jimmy is doing right.
Every night, Jimmy can tell Claire why he loves her.
Claire can give Jimmy time to feel safer in the relationship.
Show a greater level of empathy and understanding to each other.
Jimmy can talk to Claire with the kindness and compassion he shows his daughters.
Claire can have compassion for Jimmy as he is trying to figure things out.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Grief and Post Traumatic Growth with Krista St-Germain 0

Nov 19, 2022

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too.

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EP 375: His Story: Part 2 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Jimmy 0

Nov 16, 2022

This episode is the second of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, with Jimmy, she explores the things from his childhood that may make commitment a bit hard for him.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode375]

It is okay if we have conflict. It is okay if plans need to be rearranged. It is okay if you unintentionally disappoint someone. There is a difference between promising someone you will be somewhere and not showing up versus having to renegotiate an agreement.

It is reframing conflict into clarification. Because not every situation, conversation, or engagement with someone that we think is going to be stressful is. If we go in thinking something is going to be confrontational, that the other person is going to be upset, or that it is not going to go well, we limit the possibilities. But if we go in seeking clarification, or as a renegotiation of a commitment, then it becomes an entirely different conversation.

When we find a safe space on our own, we don’t necessarily default to an avoidant attachment style, although it can happen. What we default to is that it is safer on our own. Intimacy or really committing to making plans is challenging. If we add in that we don’t want to disappoint anyone as a sort of reason or even a subconscious excuse not to make plans, not to get closer, then we have a great wall of protection built around us. It can prevent us from going to deeper levels of intimacy with others.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you sometimes commitment-phobic?
Do you love the idea of plans but when it comes to making them, it’s hard, or wish your partner would make plans and you don’t understand why they don’t?
Do you relate to being a lone wolf and find it hard to be in relationship because you sometimes do better on your own? And, although you want love, commitment, and relationship, at the same time you don’t want to disappoint anyone?
Do you not do things for fear of disappointing people but then you end up disappointing them anyway?

Jimmy’s Question:

Jimmy wonders if there isn’t more at play when he and Claire struggle with planning things together.

Jimmy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

When he gets pressed or pushed he feels blocked and withdraws.
He is worried his responsibilities hinder him from showing up responsibly.
He fears letting Claire down.
He is taking steps to adjust his work calendar.
His schedule to see his children is fluid.
It is important that he shows up responsibly for work.
His father wasn’t present for him in childhood.
He wants to show up for his daughters.
He has a pattern of avoiding conflict.
He wants harmony in his life.
At 14, he helped parent his siblings and worked outside of the home.
He didn’t have anyone looking out for him growing up.
He enjoys being committed but not committed.
He likes to be spontaneous.
He can see why Claire feels the way she does.
He is scared of intimacy.
His identity, confidence, and worth are tied to his work.
He has an opportunity for intimacy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Reframe how he thinks about conflict.
Think about renegotiating plans as clarifying conversations.
Ask 14-year-old Jimmy what he is scared of.
Consider what kind of relationship he desires.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How Do Make and Keep Friends with Dr. Marisa G. Franco 0

Nov 12, 2022

An enlightening psychologist and national speaker, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and her forthcoming book Platonic: How The Science of AttachmentCan Help You Make—and Keep—Friends debuts with Penguin Random House in September 2022. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging across the country.

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EP 374: Her Story: Part 1 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Claire 0

Nov 9, 2022

This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire’s current relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode374]

When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past.

Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating.

When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more clarity about issues in our relationships. We can’t work on issues in our relationships without working on ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there a constant pattern in your relationship you can’t seem to shift?
Do you and your partner argue about the same issues over and over?
Do you have an unmet need from a parent that is showing up in your relationship?
Are you willing to see your partner in a different light? Are you willing to see your partner for who they are, right here, right now?

Claire’s Question:

Claire would like guidance about how she can feel like a priority in her partner’s life.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her childhood wound is abandonment.
She doesn’t feel like a priority in Jimmy’s life.
When she feels seen by Jimmy she feels empowered in the relationship.
She has different patterns than Jimmy.
She has been married before.
Her father wasn’t present every day in her childhood.
She is attached to planning and doing things.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Practice connection and intimacy with Jimmy in everyday life.
Remind her inner child that Jimmy isn’t her Dad and she can get love whenever she wants.
Let go of planning for a while to accept love in the here and now.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What is Breath Work, Who is it For and How Does it Help? 0

Nov 5, 2022

Christine's husband Stef who is a breathwork facilitator joins her to talk about the incredibly powerful modality of breathwork. Learn more about what breathwork is and how it may help you to tap into deeper levels of healing and freedom.

If you want to join Stef and Christine for their next breathwork event, go here: https://stefanossifandos.com/feminine/

And if you are interested in their breathwork and meditation program, go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork

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EP 373: Listening to Your Gut Even When Other People Disagree with Hannah 0

Nov 2, 2022

This episode is about trusting our intuition and keeping others’ voices out of our heads. Today’s caller, Hannah, has made a clear decision to do something for herself. Yet, doubts are creeping in due to the opinions of others. If you have a gut feeling about something and other people are doubting you or you want to get to the place where you can trust your own inner knowing, this call will be extremely helpful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode373]

You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. If your decisions directly impact others, then a discussion is necessary. But, when you make personal decisions that only impact you, it is nobody else’s business but yours.

And on the flip side, we need to respect other people’s choices even if we wouldn’t make the same ones.

When people are not respecting our boundaries, it is imperative we create a distance from them. And, just because someone is a family member, doesn’t give them the right to have unlimited opinions about our lives and to know everything about us. Other people’s voices should not be louder than our own intuition.

Join Stefanos live for Breathwork for the Feminine. It is designed for women only. Stefanos leads the breathwork and then he and Christine both do coaching and processing afterward. Join them live in Austin on November 7th, 2022, from 6‒9 CST, or join virtually — Go to Stefanossifandos.com/feminine to register.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you recently made a decision that others are doubting and you wonder if you should be doubting it yourself?
Do you have a habit of people-pleasing, being a chameleon, or going against what you want?
Do you doubt that you have intuition and don’t know how to connect to it?
Do you need to have stronger boundaries with certain people in your life?

Hannah’s Question:

Hannah is on the brink of a scheduled surgery. She knows this is the right choice for her but would like clarity about the pressure she feels.

Hannah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She’s never wanted children.
She has a tubal ligation procedure scheduled.
Her inner voice is telling her she is broken.
She’s done personal development work for some time.
She is the only child in her family who isn’t married or doesn’t want children.
Having the procedure feels self-honoring.
Others around her question her judgment.
She struggles when making decisions for herself.
She feels pressure about not having rights over her body.
She felt a sense of relief after making a decision.
This may be the first decision she has made based on what she wants.
She is a people-pleaser.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Make choices without checking in with others.
Stop putting her needs aside in favor of the needs of others.
Practice making quicker decisions and go with her gut.

Takeaways:

Stay out of other people’s business.
Keep others out of your business.
Listen to your gut.
Don’t let people’s voices be louder than your own voice.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: A Loving Reminder from Christine 0

Oct 29, 2022

Have you forgotten who you truly are? Are you caught up in some self-doubt, guilt, loneliness, sadness or disappointment? Could you use a reminder of how lovable you are? Then don't miss this episode where Christine speaks straight to your heart.

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EP 372: How to Love Yourself Without Ever Being Taught What Love Really Is with Jada 0

Oct 26, 2022

This episode is about how loving actions help us heal. Today’s caller, Jada, was never shown love in childhood and wants to know how she can learn to love herself. When we don’t have loving stable parenting, we are at a disadvantage. But, people who have had a disadvantaged childhood and have done the work to heal it, find a force, love, and momentum that is unstoppable.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode372]

Growing up without a role model for what love feels like is akin to growing up in a house with only one language. Would you expect yourself to speak another language naturally? Would it just appear in your brain? No. When we don’t have models for what love is, it is hard to access love; it is hard to know what true healthy love is without other people. It makes it hard to access self-love as well.

When something bad happens, many people say that the experience has made them stronger and more resilient. But what that translates to is the experiences they endured created walls to protect their heart so they never really let love in because they are scared to death of being hurt again. For many people who had difficult childhoods, there is a lot of anger and grief they never got to feel.

When we are healing trauma it is not about going back and reliving the experience. It’s about giving ourselves the voice we never had. When looking at self-love, we have to take actions that signify self-care and actions that signify that we are being good to ourselves. That is the first step in learning how to love ourselves.

Love is a feeling that we can access through actions.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you want to love yourself but you are not sure how?
Did you have a traumatic childhood full of chaos and without a role model of love?
Do you question if you will get over your past?
Could it be possible that you are doing loving things but you don't even know it?

Jada’s Question:

Jada grew up without a role model of what love is and would like guidance on how to find genuine self-love.

Jada’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels anxiety when telling her story.
She was abused and didn’t have love in her childhood.
She feels unworthy and undeserving of love.
She wants to turn her memories into something else.
She has done self-work for three years.
She is repressing anger.
She wants love and support.
Her inner child craves unconditional love.
She recognizes how her lack of self-love shows up in her life.
She is tired of how her childhood has affected her.
She does not go into victim.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Discontinue trying to find beauty in the trauma.
Take the time to process her emotions.
Recognize that love; she may not know how to feel self-love but she knows what loving actions are.
Give herself credit for how far she’s come.
Know that as she continues on this healing path she will propel forward.
Find a seasoned therapist so she doesn’t have to do healing alone.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 371: How to Move Into Acceptance Even If You Don’t Like What is Happening with Lindsey 0

Oct 19, 2022

This episode is about accepting where we are in life and enjoying it to the fullest. Today’s caller, Lindsey, has wanted to find a partner to share her life with for a long time. She has done personal development work but still believes she needs to fix herself before calling in a partner. We work through ways she can trust life, trust divine timing, and enjoy her life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode371]

When we have hindsight, it is easy to move into acceptance. We look back and consider that something happened for a reason it makes it easier to accept. When we have to accept something, or we choose to accept something that isn’t what we want, that is when the real spiritual ninja work comes in.

The constant trying to figure out why — which is something we all do to some degree — we don’t have something we want or something in our life isn’t working. We pick ourselves apart with a fine-toothed comb trying to find the reason. Because if we find the reason, it gives us control and then we can do something to solve it. It is a pattern of constantly looking.

Acceptance is when we move into the peace of what is. It is when we stop wishing for something to be different or when we have feelings about circumstances not being what we want, we don’t bypass them. Resignation is when we give up. Acceptance has relief energy. When we surrender we can be open to something shifting.

When we move into full acceptance of who we are and where we are in our lives, the acceptance keeps us in the energetic of love and shifts what we are broadcasting.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there something you want badly and think you will be happier when you get it?
Are you single and don’t want to be single but you can’t move into acceptance of it?
Have you done work to change an issue or circumstance but it isn’t shifting and you keep trying?
Do you believe your life would be better if you had something you don’t?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey has been single for most of her life and would like guidance on how to call in a partner.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has been single for 10+ years but wants to call in a partner.
She is an adventurous woman in life and work.
She has a belief that men find her good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date.
She believes she would be better in a relationship.
She is sad because she doesn’t have a partner.
She feels she has no control over finding a partner and pities herself.
She feels looked over by the people in her life.
She has limiting beliefs about herself.
She is constantly doing to not think about the uncertainty of life.
She believes that if she doesn’t work hard to get something she won’t get it.
She is incorporating practices to keep herself present.
She surrenders in water and with music.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Accept where she is right now.
Move toward acceptance and let go of wanting something else.
Make a playlist of songs that make her love her life in the now.
Stop herself from going down a spiral.
Stop trying to fix something that isn’t broken.
Trust life and trust divine timing.

Takeaways:

You can’t always get what you want but you can get what you need. If we can move into acceptance of wherever we are or are not, we have more enjoyment and freedom in our life.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services