This episode is about getting over feeling lost, and getting yourself unstuck. During the coaching session with Lena, we uncover some past trauma and guilt which is causing her to feel as if she is living in a black hole.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode88]
If you can identify with Lena and are feeling stuck yourself, know that you are headed in the right direction towards getting yourself unstuck. Some people just go through life just going through the motions, and not being inspired. If you are aware of it, you are more likely to discover the trigger, and move past it.
If you are a coach, take note of the question I asked Lena when she said she had been doing some personal growth work. Find out what your client’s awareness level is, by asking them what personal growth work they have been doing. This helps you avoid telling them something they already know.
Also, notice how I reacted when she told me she had cheated, in contrast to my reaction when she divulged the traumatic experience with her father. I acknowledged Lena for her vulnerability, and responded neutrally to the incident, because she already felt shame around it. But, my response to her traumatic experience let her know it was a big deal, and was the cause of her feeling lost.
When something traumatic or scary happens, we go into survival mode and we disconnect. We suppress the emotional response because we didn’t know how to deal with it. I recommended Lena look into Somatic therapy to help her overcome her past trauma.
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● Do you feel lost, stuck, or just blah?
● Is there a situation from your past you haven’t fully processed? Maybe you hoped time would heal the wound, but you never really dealt with the issue.
● Are you questioning a relationship you are currently in?
Lena wants to know how to get out of her “black hole,” and get unstuck from her current feelings of discomfort.
Lena's Key Insights and Ahas:
● She was scared by the actions of her father, and felt he turned his back on her.
● She feels guilty about the breakup with her ex-boyfriend.
● She suppressed her feelings of trauma, fear, and guilt.
● She has lost herself.
● She doesn’t want to be in her current relationship.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She should work with a Somatic therapist to deal with her trauma.
● She should stop compromising in her current relationship and show up authentically.
● Is there anything you haven’t forgiven yourself for, or a reason you may be punishing yourself? Where do you think you did something wrong? Why do you think you can’t have what you want?
● Get Expectation Hangover and do the Release Writing or Temper Tantrum techniques to help you get unstuck.
● Google Somatic Therapy to learn more about it. It may be helpful in your getting over a trauma from the past.
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