Over It And On With It

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Gut Health with Josh Dech 0

Jan 13, 2024

Josh is an ex-paramedic, and Holistic Nutritionist, specializing inIK8VB gut health. It was the successes his clients have had with complex digestive diseases, previously thought to be impossible, that got him connected to some of the world's most renowned doctors.

Since then, he’s been recruited to the Priority HealthAcademy as a medical lecturer, helping educate doctors on the holistic approach to gut health, and complex digestive issues.

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EP 434: How to Create More Romance in Your Relationship with Joey 0

Jan 10, 2024

This coaching call is about doing the work and not expecting a partner to bring the romance to you. Today’s caller, Joey, is yearning for more romance and intimacy in her marriage but her fear of abandonment may be holding her back from deeper intimacy. Christine offers guidance on how Joey can accept her partner for who he is and create more romance in her relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode434].

We all can relate to that initial stage of a relationship where it’s hot and heavy and you can’t get enough of each other, and then it’s ten years later. How do you sustain that? You can’t. You cannot sustain the initial hormonal rush that happens when you first get together with someone. But, what you can do is grow your passion.

When you initially meet someone, even if it’s your soulmate and fireworks go off, the kind of intimacy you have with someone after you have known them for five, ten, or twenty years is much deeper. And, unfortunately, it cannot be so HOT sometimes because you know someone a little too well. However, if you can reframe how you see it, it can be a turn-on.

Connect to your partner in a way that lights them up instead of expecting them to romance you and seduce you the way you think they should do it. Let that build the passion. Because when you are constantly on someone to be more romantic, passionate, and emotionally available, it is not a turn-on for them.

When you take an interest in what your partner loves, it pays emotional and sensual dividends.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you someone who wants more romance and passion in your relationship?
Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship?
Have abandonment wounds made you more avoidant in relationships?
Are you willing to accept your partner for who they are and see that as the most romantic thing you could ever do?

Joey’s Question:

Joey would like guidance on how to create emotional availability and intimacy in her marriage.

Joey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She and her husband do conscious healing work.
She has abandonment wounds from childhood.
She left her corporate work and is becoming a coach.
She is not sure if it is her emotional unavailability, or her husband’s, creating intimacy issues.
She wants romance and passion from her husband.
She has been married for ten years.
She sets the bar for romance high because of her abandonment wounds.
She may be overlooking when her husband sends intimate signals.
She finds fault and resentment in her husband when he doesn’t meet her expectations.
She creates fantasy relationships with other men in her head.
She is vague when asking for what she wants.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Accept her partner for who he is and stop projecting on him.
Reframe how she looks at passion, romance, and intimacy.
Acknowledge, nourish, and encourage her husband when he does romantic or sensual things.
Make space outside of her relationship to ensure intimacy lines don’t get blurred.
Remind herself that what she truly craves is consistency and stability.
Be clear about what she wants.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Guided New Year's Ritual Part Two 0

Jan 6, 2024

This is the second part of my annual ritual to complete this year and step forward into 2024 with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a receiving process and meditation to start 2024 with steps to get clear about what you want to call in. Be sure to listen to the 2023 release episode to prepare you to receive freely.

We are $30 off on our breathwork and meditation series. Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork and use the promo code 2024.

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EP 433: Healing the Sister Wound with Mariella 0

Jan 3, 2024

This coaching call is about letting go of wanting to be right and healing a sister wound. As a teenager, today’s caller, Mariella, idealized her older sister but didn’t agree with her relationship choices. She feels her concern fell on deaf ears. She is asking for guidance on how to let go of her need to be right and to be happy with her sister.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode433].

In communications with others, we need to be honest with ourselves about whether we are sharing our feelings or just sharing our opinions. If we want vulnerable, healthy, authentic connections with people, use “I” language and share feelings rather than opinions. Because other people’s lives are none of our business. We can have multiple opinions about the lives of others but they don’t matter.

Also, be honest with yourself about how often you want to be right. What do you get from being right? We can have a difference of opinion with others and not push the point without letting people walk all over us. An argument just to prove we are right is not worth the energetic real estate it takes to wait for our position to be validated.

We can take 100% responsibility for our lives without being in other people’s business. We can either let go of our past by processing and accepting it, or we continue to live with it in our present.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there something that happened and you are waiting for someone to tell you that you are right?
Have you been hurt or have you had an expectation hangover regarding your sister or a female friend?
Are you someone who feels that you give more in relationships than you receive?

Mariella’s Question:

Mariella would like to feel validated by her sister and let down the wall she has up when it comes to her sister’s happiness.

Mariella’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She felt her sister’s ex wasn’t good for her sister when she was young.
She felt her sister chose her ex over her.
She felt her sister didn’t listen to her or take her views seriously.
She was 13. Her sister was 18.
She is waiting for her sister to tell her she was right.
She finds it difficult to be happy for her sister.
Her sister is going to remarry.
She wants what is best for her sister.
She feels a responsibility to keep the family in order.
She is happily married.
She feels that her feelings don’t matter.
She is disappointed that her sister doesn’t fit into her idea of who she should be.
She has difficulty coming to terms with who her sister is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Tell her inner child what she needs to hear without expecting her sister to do it.
Realize her sister’s life is not her business.
Accept her sister for who she is.
Be happy with her sister, not for her.
Grieve and accept that she will never receive validation from her sister.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 10% discount when you upgrade your kitchen experience.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Guided New Year's Ritual Part One 0

Dec 30, 2023

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2023 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week’s episode where I offer you a process to receive 2024. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process.

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CC: Transform your life by working in partnership with your emotional energy with Dr. Julia DiGangi 0

Dec 23, 2023

Dr. Julia DiGangi is a neuropsychologist. She has nearly two decades of experience studying the connection between our brains and our behavior. Dr. DiGangi has worked with leaders at The White House Press Office, global companies,international NGOs, and the US Special Forces. Her understanding of stress, trauma, and resilience is also informed by her work in international development and humanitarian aid, where she served some of the world's most vulnerable communities. The founder of NeuroHealth Partners, a neuropsychology-based consultancy, DiGangi shows people—at work and athome—how to harness the power of the brain to lead more satisfying and emotionally intelligent lives. Connect with Julia DiGangi at drjuliadigangi.com.

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EP 432: Trust That You Can Trust People with Samantha 0

Dec 20, 2023

This coaching call is about learning to trust others. Today’s caller, Samantha, was bullied as a child and finds it difficult to trust others enough to make new friends. She asks for guidance on expanding her circle of friends and allowing herself to be truly seen by others.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode432].

We can get a thousand compliments, and a thousand great things can happen but we always seem to remember the one yucky thing someone said or did. And, often, it can be much stronger than yucky. It can be downright traumatic. Being bullied, not feeling like you fit in, and not feeling that you can trust people are very traumatic because they push against our need for belonging, which is a safety and survival need.

If you have a hard time trusting people, really the person you don’t trust is yourself.

If you are looking at something in your life that feels like a big problem or block, look to where the beliefs or behaviors have served you. Consider how you can reframe it. Choose wisely or pay attention to your intuition if something comes up. Or, if someone betrays you, stand up for yourself. Stand up to a bully. Get honest with yourself, and stop playing the victim.

The CIT coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Would you like to have more people in your life but you just don’t trust people?
Are you expecting people to hurt you and find it hard to trust others?
Was there an early-life event that shaped the way you make friendships and let people in?

Samantha’s Question:

Samantha struggles to trust people and would like guidance on how to be more open to expanding her inner circle.

Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She was bullied as a young girl.
She doesn’t trust people immediately.
She wants to be open to additional friendships.
People don’t seem safe to her.
She feels people are out to get her.
She feels blocked from making new friends.
She wants to protect herself and be free.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Learn to trust herself.
Reframe what she tells herself.
Challenge her existing beliefs.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Become Emotionally Wealthy and Financially Healthy with Manisha Thakor 0

Dec 16, 2023

Manisha Thakor has worked in financial services for more than thirty years, with an emphasis on women’s economic empowerment and financial wellbeing. A nationally recognized thought-leader in this space, Thakor has been featured in a wide range of publications including the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, NPR, PBS, CNN, Real Simple, and Women’s Health. Prior to writing MoneyZen, Thakor co-authored two personal finance books for women in their twenties and thirties. Today her work focuses on helping people of all ages to balance financial health and emotional wealth. Thakor earned her MBA from Harvard Business School, her BA from Wellesley College and is both a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). She splits her time between Portland, Oregon and rural Maine. Her website is MoneyZen.com. Manisha's Media Reel

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EP 431: How to Let Go of Shame & Guilt We’ve Carried Since Childhood with Michelle 0

Dec 13, 2023

This coaching call is about being curious about body parts and sexuality with other children as a child and then feeling shame and guilt about it as an adult. Today’s caller, Michelle, was a curious child who did not have a good representation of what sex was. She asks for guidance on how to forgive herself and release her guilt and shame.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode431].

How do we raise children not to be ashamed of their bodies, to feel comfortable with their sexuality, and to have boundaries? It comes down to present parenting and having an open dialogue about sexuality and boundaries. Oftentimes, when we are raised with the programming that sex is saved until marriage, there’s a curiosity that isn’t quenched.

When parents don’t have conversations about human sexuality, children do not get their questions answered. Children are naturally curious and will find out on their own if a parent does not make them aware that sexual curiosity is a very natural thing that children have.

If this conversation resonates with you it is time to forgive those places inside that hold guilt and shame. It doesn’t do us any good. Healing, learning, and re-parenting our inner child is what helps us grow.

Christine is accepting new private one-on-one coaching clients and small groups of 2‒4 people for coaching sessions. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/VIP.

An additional coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you carrying around shame and guilt from your childhood or the past?
Did you sexually explore with other children and have shame about it as an adult?
As a parent, are you thinking about how to address or handle sexuality with your child?
Are you willing to finally forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself to live the life you want?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle asks for guidance on releasing the shame and guilt she has carried since childhood.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

As a child, she sexually explored with a family member.
She believes it is limiting her sexual pleasure as an adult.
The exploration happened 30 years ago.
She has had a conversation about it with her husband.
She was raised in a religious home.
She has a curious nature.
Her mother spoke about sex in a way that made her uncomfortable.
She doesn’t feel she pressured anyone into sexual exploration.
She was parentified too soon.
She carries the shame deeply in her body.
She punishes herself and makes herself a villain.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Understand she was not a predator.
Forgive herself for a situation she cannot go back and change.
Forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was responsible at eight to ten years old.
Complete the Inner Child Workshop.
Write down her beliefs and judgments about her situation and forgive herself for each one.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 430: What To Do When Things Feel Out of Control When You Really Like Control with Cato 0

Dec 6, 2023

This coaching call is about feeling out of control when being in control is how we have compensated for not getting what we needed as children. Today’s caller, Cato, is pregnant and her lack of control is creating panic. She asks Christine for guidance on how to be okay with the changes in her life and her fear of feeling insignificant.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode430].

As children, we need to belong. We need love. And we need to feel safe. So, whatever we need to do and whoever we need to become to get those things, we do. The need for significance comes from not feeling enough as a child, not feeling significant just for who we are. So as an adult, we are constantly looking for people to see us, love us, and tell us how wonderful we are because that need was not fulfilled in childhood. Either we weren’t told we were good or we only were told we were good when we did something “good.”

Something important for people to talk about is that — Yes, having a baby is blissful and magical AND it can be really hard at times. There are times when the hard times are more than the amazing times and that’s okay. It is an identity death like no other and there’s no way around that.

The more we resist it and try to hang on to who we were or to keep that version of us, the more we are going to bump up against resistance. Because when we get pregnant and when we give birth, the old version of us dies and the maiden becomes the mother. We have to find our new identity at the same time that we are learning to care for another human being. It’s a lot.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you like control? Does it make you feel calm and safe?
Do you consider yourself a capable, on-top-of-it person but something has completely thrown you off your game?
Do you fear not being relevant or not being significant?
Do you know how to receive, or do you believe that you must do to receive and be relevant?

Cato’s Question:

Cato fears that her pregnancy will make her irrelevant and insignificant. She is asking for guidance on how to be okay with herself and what is happening.

Cato’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is excited about her pregnancy.
Her pregnancy is forcing her to slow down.
She signed up for Elementum Coaching Institute.
Her pregnancy is bringing up depression and feelings of a lack of control.
She is experiencing intense emotions and is unsure of herself for the first time.
She realizes she has been using control to create safety.
She fears slowing down and not being relevant or significant.
Her inner child carries sadness and anger toward her father.
She is unsure if she is worthy of raising her child.
She is embodying receptivity.
She feels closer to her womb and her heart.
She has always kept busy to distract herself from her feelings.
When she slows down, she feels restless.
She finds purpose and meaning in her work.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Welcome the new feelings she is having.
Listen to this episode when it airs.
Embody what it feels like to be in her feminine.
Be curious about her restlessness.
Savor her pregnancy.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 20% discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Reverse Aging and Optimize Health with Dr Florence Comite 0

Dec 2, 2023

Dr. Florence Comite is a clinician-scientist and innovator in the field of precision medicine. She is world-renowned for her expertise in predicting, preventing, and reversing chronic disease and the disorders associated with aging.

She is a true disruptor of the status quo, a “doctorpreneur” with a bold mission--to eliminate chronic disease in the world. She has begun by helping her clients lengthen their healthspans to match their lifespans at the Center, which has not expanded to offices in Palo Alto and Miami Beach.

And now she is applying her research to a virtual medicine app called Groq Health , which is bringing access to the transformative power of personal precision medicine and AI to everyone’s smartphone.

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EP 429: How to Break the Cycle of Engaging with Narcissists with Behnaz 0

Nov 29, 2023

This coaching call is about breaking the cycle of being in unhealthy relationships, specifically with emotionally unavailable or narcissistic people. Today’s caller, Behnaz, feels guilty, exhausted, and angry when dealing with her family and longs for deeper connections. She asks Christine for guidance on how to break the cycle and release her anger.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode429].

We all have encountered someone with either narcissism or at least narcissistic tendencies, emotional unavailability, and gaslighting. It can be a frustrating and maddening place to be. It almost makes us feel crazy because we feel we are not being heard, we are not being seen, and it is frustrating.

Why empaths are so attracted to narcissists is because, on a subconscious level, we see that they don't have access to love. We can feel it. We think our love will somehow awaken the love in them but it just doesn’t work that way. We just end up giving away our power, and our heart, and we end up collapsing our boundaries.

It can be hard when we are a loving person, and we have a pattern of engaging with people who are not in touch with the love inside themselves. It’s exhausting.

If you know you have been gaslit before, be aware that you may either shut down completely and not talk at all or go into over-talking and over-explaining. It’s not bad or wrong. It’s just a natural reaction to being gaslit. Part of healing from being gaslit is finding our authentic self-expression, not coming from justification or defending, knowing exactly what we need to say and how much we need to say.

On some level, some of us do sign up to be generational pattern breakers. It’s the only way the consciousness of the planet evolves.

Spring 2024 will bring a new 10-week, Live, Inner Child Program from Christine and Stefanos. More information is coming soon.

Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.

Behnaz’s Question:

Behnaz’s self-esteem is not where she wants it to be and she struggles to find her voice around narcissists. She wants guidance on how to release her anger and break the pattern.

Behnaz’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Adults gaslit her when she was a child.
She holds back her thoughts around narcissists.
She feels she has boundaries.
She has internalized anger she is unable to express.
She is exhausted.
She speaks up for herself but is resentful when nothing changes.
She tries to connect with emotionally unavailable people.
She wanted a deeper connection with her parents.
She yearns to love and connect with people.
Her soul signed up to be a generational pattern breaker.
She feels guilty about cutting off a relationship with her aunt.
She is a joyful person.
She is creating a family of friends.
She feels alone.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Grieve the relationship she didn’t have with her family.
Accept that she chose her family to learn through contrast.
Get in touch with her anger.
Accept that she cannot change anyone.
Know it is OK to step away from unhealthy relationships.
Honor who she is and come into alignment with it.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Conscious Connection with Talia Fox 0

Nov 25, 2023

This is the perfect episode to listen to as the holidays are upon us - my guest, Talia Fox, and I talk about how to have healthier, more conscious relationships with ourselves and others.

Talia Fox is the CEO of KUSI Global, Inc. She holds an M.Ed. in counseling psychology from Howard University and she is a Harvard University Fellow. An inspirational leader in every sense of the word, Talia is often referred to as the Jedi of Inspiration by her clients. With over two decades of experience in transforming thousands of executives from all sectors, she has become a visionary for leadership and legacy building.

Her extensive background in psychology and education has given her the tools she needs to assist leaders in developing successful strategies for complex missions, ranging from defense systems to healthcare initiatives.

As CEO of KUSI Global, Inc., Talia helps organizations like the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, Harvard University, Transunion, the National Institutes of Health, Howard University, and the U.S. Departments of Defense and Veterans Affairs maximize human potential by leveraging strategic intelligence and helps individuals and organizations foster connected cultures and promote conscious equity.

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EP 428: Stop Needing So Much Reassurance in Relationships with Michele 0

Nov 22, 2023

This coaching call is about getting out of the loop of needing reassurance. Today’s caller, Michele, does not feel safe in relationships and asks her partner for constant reassurance. If you have jealousy, worry, or anxiety in relationships or situations, you will find value in today’s episode.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode428].

There are times when we have insecurity or concerns in relationships. During those times, it is reasonable to go to our partner and ask for reassurance. That is within the range of a healthy relationship. But when we find ourselves in a perpetual loop of needing reassurance constantly in order to feel relief and love, it is because we don’t feel safe.

When we really feel love, it is beautiful and amazing and it is also terrifying. We have to acknowledge that it is risky and there will be things about it that will scare us. But when we recognize the risk and fear, if we greet the scared part of us with compassion and love, we can stop the fear from running the show. When we see the loop for what it is and take self-honoring actions, we take ourselves off the hamster wheel and stop abandoning ourselves.

Breaking the loop is a huge act of self-love and self-care. It’s never our partner’s job to heal us, but they can have an active role in understanding our wounding and being compassionate and patient with us as we heal.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a safe situation, relationship, or career but you’re afraid you’re going to lose it?
As a child, were marriage and relationships not modeled to you in a great way?
Do you need constant reassurance or otherwise, you feel unsettled?
Do you judge that part of you that needs constant reassurance?

Michele’s Question:

Michele asks for guidance on how to stop needing reassurance in her new relationship.

Michele’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has a compulsive need for reassurance.
She doesn’t feel safe in relationships.
She fears abandonment.
She was blindsided by her ex’s infidelity.
She’s been jealous in her relationships.
As a child, she didn’t have good models of relationship.
Her brother left home at a young age.
She feels a deep connection with her new partner.
Her partner reassures her often.
She gets frustrated with herself about her need for reassurance.
She fears she will manifest the ending of a relationship.
She believes she should have outgrown her fear by now.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Have compassion when the part of her that needs control comes up.
Ask herself if her fear is substantiated.
Recognizing when she is in a loop will help break the cycle.
Draw a diagram of her cycle of fear with exit routes.
Be gentle with the scared parts of herself.
Enjoy her relationship.

Takeaway:

Draw out a diagram of what perpetuates your cycle of fear and give yourself exit routes.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How to Do An Anger Burn/Release 0

Nov 18, 2023

I talk quite a bit on the show about how important it is to release our anger in a healthy way. In today's episode I walk you through how to do one of my favorite and most empowering exercises - an anger burn!

If you aren't quite ready for an anger burn, then starting by writing f*** you letters is a great way to process anger. You can listen to the episode I did about that here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/over-it-and-on-with-it/id1050321415?i=1000620283017

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EP 427: How to Tone Down Hyper-vigilance with Maria 0

Nov 15, 2023

This coaching call is about giving ourselves the time to be where we are, even if we don’t like it. Today’s caller, Maria, has suffered recent losses. It is causing past grief to surface. She asks Christine for guidance on how to tone down her hyper-vigilance and move through the grief she is experiencing.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode427].

Many of us get our idea of what a mother is based on our mother, the media, or other things that are so far off from what a mother actually is. A mother is not a martyr, not someone who sacrifices everything, has no life, or no sense of herself. It is also not abandoning a child, either physically or emotionally, because she’s so caught up in her own trauma.

A mother is being a loving, nurturing model of what a healthy nervous system looks like, what nurturing looks like, what unconditional love looks like, what acceptance looks like, what boundaries look like, and what soothing looks like.

When we are in a phase in life where we are still working out subconscious patterns and wounding, it is impossible to see red flags. If you are beating yourself up for red flags you didn’t see in situations, especially partnerships, please forgive yourself. You had to be in those relationships to wake up! Remember, we are naturally attracted to our dysfunction. We are naturally attracted to people who remind us of the parents who didn’t give us what we wanted.

Please forgive yourself. You can see the red flags now because you have done work. You couldn’t see them before. Give yourself a break. Self-beat has no place in healing. Give yourself that mothering or parental nurturing love that you so deserve. Sometimes it is not time to do the “work.” The work is nurturing, regulating, and resourcing ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you recently gone through loss and grief that have triggered other loss or grief?
Are you in a phase of overwhelm by how much you feel you have to process?
Did you not have the childhood or the parent you deeply desired?
Have you ignored red flags in relationships only now, in hindsight, they are clear as day?

Maria’s Question:

Maria has experienced a lot of loss recently and is looking for guidance on how to move through the grief.

Maria’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels emotionally malnourished.
Her recent pregnancy and relationship losses are bringing up past grief.
She feels unsafe and hyper-vigilant.
She feels challenged to express herself or to be joyful.
Her mother passed away three years ago.
Her mother was emotionally unavailable and detached.
She feels overwhelmed, and her sense of self is out of balance.
Memories of her childhood feelings are surfacing and mixing with her grief.
She wanted intimacy from her mother and her relationships.
She longs for connection.
She did not have the ability to discern red flags.
She is consciously single now.
She is a doula who has a deep connection to motherhood.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Have compassion and awareness for the season of life she is in now.
Know that her soul baby is holding space for her to be ready for a beautiful, healthy relationship.
Give herself the love and the nurturing she wanted from her parents.
Allow herself to be resourced.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: The Enlightened Entrepreneur with Elizabeth Canon 0

Nov 11, 2023

Known as The Enlightened Entrepreneur, Elizabeth Canon champions a new approach to entrepreneurship for women—out of the pressure cooker and onto a path that is more sustainable, life-giving and prosperous.

Many years ago, Elizabeth became an entrepreneur for freedom, but a few years into running her company realized she felt trapped in the business she had created. On the outside, she was successful, but inside she was lacking a sense of deeper satisfaction.

This launched her on a self-directed journey where she invested the equivalent of a Harvard MBA in her own growth and personal discovery. Along the way she learned how to apply what she was finding to her business.

Now, as a Master Coach, Elizabeth helps other women step onto their own paths of enlightened entrepreneurship, so they can grow their businesses without sacrificing what matters most in their lives. Because when you do this, you create a level of success, a business—and a life, that is all your own.

Download this Episode

EP 426: How Your Inner Child Can Stop Being Triggered So Much in Relationships with Oliver 0

Nov 8, 2023

This coaching call is about breaking the childhood patterns that show up in relationships. Today’s caller, Oliver, struggles to embody his power and set boundaries when he is triggered in relationships. He asks for guidance on how to break and grow beyond survival patterns.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode426].

Many of us can relate to being our current age but in certain situations, we act in a way that is sabotaging, embarrassing, or doesn’t get us what we want. Why do we act like this? Because there is often inner child wounding and programming at play.

Survival patterns are tricky to change and they can hang on for a long time because a large portion of them are subconscious. Often, we have to duplicate our parental family of origin situation to wake up and transform our survival patterns. It is a necessary part of evolution. It doesn’t matter how much awareness we have, we have to walk through a situation to heal it.

It is hard work and often thankless work when we are the pattern breakers in our family. If we don’t have role models at home, we have to add in new programming. Watching movies, reading books, writing it out, or spending time with others to gain examples of what healthy relationships look like is important.

There are things we heal, and then there are some things that take a bit more time. The evolution, the moving out of fear, judgment, beliefs, and pain into love, is ongoing. The next time you feel that you have dealt with something before, or have awareness about something, get more curious about it.

The work is never done. We are always learning and growing.

Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you notice you have patterns in relationships that you don’t like and want to change?
When you were growing up, did you have healthy relationships modeled for you?
When you were growing up, did you have healthy parents or a healthy parent that raised you?
Are you someone that has done a lot of work and you know a lot of things, but you wish things were changing a little more?

Oliver’s Question:

Oliver struggles with a recurring pattern of sabotaging his relationships.

Oliver’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He is a recently divorced, single parent of two small children.
He is aware his pattern came from his mother.
His ex triggers his pattern and he freezes when confronted.
He gives his power away when confronted.
A portion of his development was stunted.
His mother was diagnosed as borderline and unpredictable.
He has done some inner child work but still has blind spots.
He is a therapist.
His feelings and emotions have been surfacing since his divorce.
He feels he holds power and has clear boundaries in other areas of his life.
His father is a public figure in his home country.
His mother physically beat the children.
He wanted his father to protect him against his mother.
It is difficult for him to show anger.
He can get stuck in self-analysis.
He is a generational pattern breaker.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Drop any expectation that this pattern is simple to change.
Center himself and reassure his inner child that he has matured and can take care of himself now.
Discover and write out what masculinity means to him and what healthy masculinity looks like in a relationship.
Get between his inner child and women with tendencies like his mother and separate himself from his inner child.
Tap into his protective “papa bear” energy and unleash his anger.
Listen to the Coaches Corner: Internal Family Systems podcast with Dr. Richard Schwartz.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How to lead (and live) from the heart, rather than the head with Dr. Kirstin Ferguson 0

Nov 4, 2023

We are all leaders, no matter what our job is. And we all have leadership styles that may or may not be the most aligned or effective.

Dr. Kirstin Ferguson joins to discuss how we can lead others and ourselves from a place of love. She is a prominent leadership expert and a highly experienced business leader in her own right.

Beginning her career as an officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, Kirstin has held roles that have included CEO of an International consulting firm and was appointed acting chair and deputy chair of the Australia Broadcasting Corporation by the Australian Prime Minister. She holds a PhD in Leadership and is an adjunct professor at QUT business school.

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EP 425: How to Know if Something in a Relationship is a Dealbreaker with Sammie 0

Nov 1, 2023

This coaching call is about understanding the reason we may be doubting a relationship. Today’s caller, Sammie, has doubts about her relationship and is wondering if she should stay in it. Christine guides her to change her perception and look at the situation differently.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode425].

There are many people who would be better off by leaving relationships or situations, but they decide to stay. They only stick around because the devil they know is often better than the devil they don’t. They feel there is no risk in staying in the relationship because it is familiar.

Then, there are those who probably “should” hang in there a while longer, or stick it out to see what happens, but they run sooner.

We need to work on switching those things around so that when we know something is toxic or not for us, we can make a conscious decision to leave. Or, when we are not totally sure, we see some great things about a relationship, but there is also a part of us that wants to run because the intimacy feels scary. But that is the point in a relationship when it could offer us great learning and healing if we could just stick it out.

Is your pattern to stick it out too long or to run too soon? If you are sticking it out too long, maybe it is time to go. If you are running too soon, maybe it is time to stay. Be honest with yourself when you are looking for a reason to get out of a relationship.

Christine is considering making some changes to the show and she wants your feedback. Go to christinehassler.com/survey to answer questions about the podcast and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine!

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a situation, relationship, or friendship, and you are questioning whether you are in it for the “right” reasons?
Are you in a friendship or relationship and think you should end it because you don’t want to lead the person on or you don’t want to hurt feelings?
Do you relate to having an avoidant attachment style? Are you the person in a relationship that when it gets too intimate or too close, you start to pull back?
Do you have a deep insecurity about something in your life and think you have to settle because of it?

Sammie’s Question:

Sammie questions if her current relationship is right for her based on her boyfriend’s physical disability.

Sammie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels safe in her current relationship and believes it is a healthy one.
She questions how her boyfriend’s spinal cord injury will impact their future together.
She is unsure if the relationship will lead her into a caretaker role.
She does not have prior experience to guide her through her uncertainty.
She is hopeful about the future of the relationship.
She admires the relationship her boyfriend has with his ex.
She joined a support group for people in relationships with people who have spinal cord injuries.
She is asking legitimate questions.
She becomes critical in relationships.
She has never had a relationship with this level of stability.
She doesn’t believe she could have attracted someone so healthy.
She has a fearful-avoidant attachment style.
She is insecure about where she is in her life.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be 100% honest with her boyfriend.
Practice self-acceptance.
Lean into the invitation to love and intimacy.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Embrace your weird and witchy with Sarah Jenks 0

Oct 28, 2023

Sarah Jenks is an ordained Priestess in the 13 Moon Mystery School. Sarah thought she was destined to have an “in the box” life after going to a top college, working in advertising, and then creating a successful emotional eating company.

One day she walked into her therapist’s office where the remnants of a sacred circle from the night before were strewn on the living room floor. She had a full body “Remembering” of being in ceremony. Since that day she’s been devoted to her own sacred practice and Temple skills and has devoted her life to creating spaces for women to have their own remembering.

Sarah’s work is centered around integrating Sacred Feminine wisdom and ceremony into our everyday lives, so that we can create the most rich, sexy, fun and meaningful existence. She offers mentorship programs and sacred council around the body, marriage, motherhood, and work, and runs an incredible monthly membership community where women and non-binary people come together for moonly ceremonies, astrology oracles, and lessons on the nuts and bolts of what it means to have a Sacred Feminine life.

Links discussed in this episode:

Three day re-birth event: www.christinehassler.com/Sarah

Holy Woman: https://sarahjenks.com/holywoman?orid=169926&opid=46

Sacred Start guide

Marriage Reset

Priestess Presence- https://priestesspresence.com/trainings/?oprid=13245&ref=13531

Download this Episode

EP 424: Reframing How We Perceive a Change with Lori 0

Oct 25, 2023

This coaching call is about reframing a situation to help make a change. Today’s caller, Lori, is settling and staying in a situation that isn’t what she wants, deserves, or values, out of fear of making a change. Christine offers guidance about how she can raise the bar, work through old patterns, and have the life she deserves.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode424].

Part of breaking a pattern and stepping into worthiness is not perceiving something as uprooting, or upheaval but as raising the bar of what we will tolerate in life.

As children, we didn’t have the choice to choose for ourselves. So, trauma sits in our nervous system because we were never allowed to feel our feelings in a safe and compassionate way. The trauma is never expressed so it gets locked in and begins to form a pattern. We can’t heal something till it’s in our face and we can give ourselves the love, compassion, patience, and support that we didn’t have as a child.

Breaking a pattern isn’t just about making a change, it is about how we are with ourselves while we are making the change. The best way to learn and change a pattern is when we are smack dab in the middle of it but with a coach, or someone to help us break the pattern.

If you are in a situation where you are settling and you want to make a change and it seems daunting, reframe how you are looking at the situation. If you see the situation as Mt. Everest, it will seem like it is hard to overcome. But, look at the issue as a way to increase your life satisfaction, rather than settling for a life that is based on your patterning. It may be difficult to make the change, but perceptions and beliefs about anything dramatically influence how we experience it.

Are you ready to be coached by Christine? If you are, there are three one-on-one coaching opportunities available now. Go to ChristineHassler.com and click on the coaching tab or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a situation that isn’t ideal, maybe even unhealthy, but the devil you know is worse than the one you don’t?
When it comes to relationships, do you have trouble speaking your voice?
When it comes to making a change do you generally feel that it’s going to be hard and have trouble getting motivated or inspired to make the change?
Do you see yourself as a failure and shame yourself because things haven’t worked out and you compare yourself to other people who you deem or judge as successful?

Lori’s Question:

Lori recently discovered her partner was sending flirty messages to another woman and is unsure what to do about it.

Lori’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She recently bought a house with her partner of two years.
She found flirty text messages on her partner’s phone to another woman.
Her intuition is sending her messages.
She has trouble finding her voice to confront him about the texts.
Her partner was defensive and didn’t really acknowledge her pain.
It drains her to think about dismantling the relationship.
She feels like a failure.
She compares herself to others.
She doesn’t want to be in the relationship any longer.
She fears uprooting her life.
She doesn’t feel safe communicating in her relationship.
She doesn’t have compassion for her inner child when she sees herself as a failure.
She has an abandonment wound.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Know she doesn’t have to do it alone. Speak with a coach or therapist.
Be gentle and compassionate with herself while she goes through the process of changing her patterns.
Recognize she is healing a deep father wound.
Raise the bar on what she is able to accept for herself.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services