This episode is about healing anxiety, unworthiness, and shame. Today’s caller, Matt, recently came clean about some secrets about his past with his partner. He sabotaged his relationship but would like to date again, fully able to love and commit. Any listeners who felt instability in their childhood will benefit from this conversation.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode396]
Often, the people who are most free-spirited are the adults who as children wanted stability and didn’t have it. They’ve never known stability so they have to fall in love with freedom or fall in love with not having accountability.
If you were adopted, didn’t have time with your mother, or something happened, it doesn’t mean you are doomed for life. Give yourself the dignity of your process. Give yourself the compassion, TLC, mothering, and nurturing you didn’t receive. Having compassion for yourself and an understanding of why you are the way you are is important.
Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are so many people who have had much better lives because they’ve been adopted versus if they had stayed with their biological parents. And people who choose to give their child up for adoption because they know another family could give them a better life are angels in so many ways. Adoption can create a beautiful life for someone.
And if you do meditation, or a personal practice with the intention of fixing something, remember nothing heals in judgment. Go into modalities to feel, to heal, and to allow what is there, not try to get rid of it. Because nothing heals when we think we are broken.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you grow up feeling a sense of not belonging? Perhaps you were adopted, you were a different race or culture and you had that feeling of where do I fit?
Do you deal with a sense of anxiety?
Do you ever feel a sense of unworthiness?
Have you shown up in relationships, friendships, or any aspects of your life that you haven’t been proud of or that you have shame about?
Have you held secrets and told lies?
Matt’s Question:
Matt wants to start dating again but would like guidance on how to heal from his deep childhood wounding.
Matt’s Key Insights and Ahas:
He moved into a van to pursue a new life.
He felt isolated after three months.
He kept his trauma a secret.
He was sexually abused.
He was adopted by parents of a different race.
He used drugs and alcohol to cope with his trauma.
He is on a self-awareness journey.
He opened up to his partner and they broke up.
He cheated on his partner during their time together.
He joined a 12-step program.
He is struggling with rejection and failure.
He doesn’t truly trust himself.
He has always felt like an outcast in many ways.
He hasn’t been able to love and commit in past relationships.
He knows he is loved and wanted but often forgets.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Use meditation and breathwork to rebirth himself and remove judgmental thoughts.
Have compassion for his journey.
Know that he deserves to be loved and accepted.
Find a practitioner to help him love his inner child.
Sponsor:
Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 35% off on selected models.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
If you want to truly understand the power of surrender and acceptance, don't miss this episode! KUTE BLACKSON is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.
www.kuteblackson.com
This episode is about love and relationships. Today’s caller, Rocio, is in a pattern that is blocking her from calling in love. She would like guidance on how much of her dating is based on divine timing or if there are things she can do to date from a more empowered, emotionally available space.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode395]
A lot of times we think we are emotionally available because we want love and connection and we’ve done the work to make ourselves vulnerable. But, often, there is a hurt part of us that is a protective mechanism that makes us put a guard up so we are not completely emotionally available.
We are co-creators in our life. The spirit of the divine meets us at the point of action and intention. If we are not actively participating in getting what we desire, then we are not fully meeting the divine at the point of action and intention. If we have fear, it can block us. A lot of the time we spend avoiding love because we are afraid of rejection more than we are into opening ourselves up and putting ourselves out there.
When we have a parent that created an anxious attachment style, we draw in people who trigger that feeling inside of us because we are attempting to heal it. As children, we can’t advocate for ourselves as we can as adults.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you frustrated with dating and want to know how you can shift it?
Did you think everything was going well with the last person you dated and then it just didn’t work out? If you look back at it, did you miss some red flags?
Did you have a parent you craved more from and you can see how that wound impacts how you date?
Are you willing to be vulnerable, emotionally available, and honest about what works for you and what doesn’t?
Rocio’s Question:
Rocio would like guidance about how much she should trust timing and intuition to call in love.
Rocio’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She has been meeting emotionally unavailable guys.
She fears rejection and being vulnerable.
Recently she thought she met someone and their energies aligned but there were inconsistencies.
She feels that she is putting herself out there and trusting her intuition.
There were inconsistencies in her relationship with her father.
She is not fully healed from an unmet need from her childhood.
She wants to call in a relationship.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
If triggered, call it out and stand up for herself right away.
Normalize being emotionally available and asking for what she wants.
Don’t let her fear of rejection stop her from speaking her truth.
Trust herself to express her needs.
Remember the guys she dates are not her father.
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware — is good-looking clean cooking. Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and it is non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off on their full suite of products, including their new food storage sets. Be sure to use OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
McCall McPherson is a Physician Assistant, a thyroid-patient gone expert after suffering for years due to mismanagement of her own thyroid disorder. She is the founder of Modern Thyroid Clinic, a functional medicine practice in Austin, Texas specializing in complex thyroid disorders and a believer that with proper care and treatment there is no reason to still have thyroid symptoms.
Learn more about her practice here: https://www.modernthyroidclinic.com/
And her course for optimal thyroid function here: http://www.mccallmcpherson.com/#/courses/
This episode is about relationships. Today’s caller, Anthony, feels ready to call in love and fulfill his purpose but is unsure why he feels blocked. He would like guidance about how to move past the blocks and step into the life he desires.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode394]
If you are in your 20s, remember you have time. Be patient with yourself and be patient with the way life is going to unfold. Especially, those of you who are on a personal development path. There is a co-creation aspect to growth and there is a part of you, a higher-self part of you, that may keep you from some of the things your ego and mind want right now because how you are meant to evolve is more important.
Trust the unfolding of your life. Trust divine timing. And, try not to put pressure on yourself to get something by a certain age. Put intention into yourself to know yourself, love, accept, and be a good partner to yourself.
We all have places inside where we might feel a little insecure and it’s normal to feel like that. When we have had challenges we can wonder who will want us in that state. Our unmet needs come up when we are dating until we really work on it.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you wanting to call in a relationship but you don’t exactly know how?
Is there a part of you that is confident about what you have to offer but then a part of you wonders if someone will really love that one thing?
Did you have a super present parent, or did you have one or maybe both parents that weren’t so available and you may be looking for a relationship to fulfill that void?
Anthony’s Question:
Anthony wants to know how to find a committed relationship as well as walk fully into his purpose.
Anthony’s Key Insights and Ahas:
He is looking for someone to grow with.
He feels that something is missing.
He helps people take control of their health.
He’s never been in a relationship and feels like it is time.
He wants to be more emotionally secure.
He has trouble sleeping due to physical pain.
He had Lyme disease.
His father was emotionally unavailable.
He feels he can’t fully access love and compassion for himself.
He didn’t have a role model of emotional acceptance.
He has an unfulfilled childhood need.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Have compassion, love, and acceptance for himself.
Begin a meditation practice to get more in tune with his emotional self.
Do the things he loves to do.
Make it a priority to be the best father and partner to himself.
Sponsor:
Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about when we just can’t seem to get back to feeling ourselves. Today’s caller, Monica, has been injured by trauma over the last several years. She feels stuck and can’t seem to recharge. She asks for guidance on how to get over it and on with it.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode393]
When we are not feeling like ourselves. It can be frightening. We need to remind ourselves that even though we don't feel like ourselves at the moment, we know who we are. When we have been through a lot of trauma, just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s over.
Time does not heal all wounds when it comes to trauma. Our nervous system gets unregulated. We get depleted. Our brain gets all scrambled. We get put into survival mode, and it is hard to connect to creativity, to other people, and sometimes to spirituality. When we are completely depleted and in survival mode, there are things that happen in our brains that make it impossible to do it. But, at the same time, we have conditioning that tells us we should be able to get over things.
But, whether it is trauma or transition, there is an in-between state when we want to get back to how we used to be but oftentimes there is a newer version of ourselves post-trauma, post-transition, that we don’t know yet. That is a beautiful new version of ourselves. We need to give ourselves the grace, compassion, passion, support, and time to get there.
Christine is hosting her Signature Women’s Retreat on October 10‒13, 2023 in San Diego, CA. To take advantage of the early bird special and reserve your spot, go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you had a rough couple of years and even though the storms are over you still feel that you can’t get over it?
Are you in a place in life where you’re not really depressed but you’re just not yourself?
Have you been through a lot of trauma, or difficult times and you can’t seem to shake it? Have you ever considered that you may have PTSD?
Monica's Question:
Monica has had a difficult few years. She feels she has nothing left to give and wants to get over it and on with it.
Monica’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Several people in her life took their own lives.
She was in a motorcycle accident.
She owns her own business.
She goes from crisis mode to crisis mode.
She has been in survival mode for a long time.
She judges herself for not being able to move on.
She may have PTSD.
She self-isolates at times and needs to recharge.
She doesn’t understand why she feels the way she does.
She feels stuck.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Realize there is nothing wrong with her.
Look for a trauma-trained practitioner that can help with nervous system trauma, such as EMDR.
Do things that nourish her, like a massage, and replenish herself.
Takeaways:
If you are suffering from PTSD or PTSI, reach out for help. Recovery is not something you should do alone.
Sponsor:
Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about busting through limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive of his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.
There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.
Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. It basically comes down to love and truth. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.
Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road. We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we cannot save anyone else, that is up to them.
Would you like to raise your wealth consciousness? Another Group Coaching Call is coming. In it, we talk about money and prosperity. It is only $20 to join in on Tues. March 21st, 2023 at 7:30 pm CST. Don’t worry if you cannot make it live, it will be recorded. I will include a guided meditation and group coaching questions. Go to christinehassler.com/group to sign up.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status?
Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority?
Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other?
Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk?
What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?
Andrew's Question:
Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.
Andrew's Key Insights and Ahas:
His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem.
He feels spirituality calling him.
It’s not his responsibility to save his wife.
He has recently started a spiritual practice.
He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship.
His current lesson may not yet be resolved.
It is now up to him to re-parent himself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake-up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he cannot do it alone.
Hug his wife every day.
Take 100% responsibility for his 50%.
Takeaways:
Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate.
Nurture a relationship with a higher power.
Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about.
If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.
Sponsor:
Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This is a very important conversation about how all of our devices both help and hinder our lives. Gloria Mark studies the impact of digital media on people's lives: their attention spans, multitasking, distraction, mood and behavior when they use their computers and smartphones. She also studies the future of work, and how remote work impacts how we use our devices. Dr Mark is Chancellor’s Professor ofInformatics at the University of California, Irvine and has been a visiting senior researcher at Microsoft Research since 2012. She received her PhD from Columbia University in psychology. She regularly publishes in the top conferences and journals in her field. She was inducted into the ACM SIGCHI Academy in 2017 recognizing leaders in the field of human-computer interaction. She has presented her work at SXSW and the AspenIdeas Festival, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Wall StreetJournal, NPR, The Atlantic, the BBC, and many others.
This episode is about shifting your external world while making internal changes. Today’s caller, Jenn, has been through transformational changes and believes she is confused about her work as a relationship coach. Anyone who is on the growth path will relate to this call in some way.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode391]
As we uncover and heal our issues, either in relationships or in the physical, we shift our vibration. Our energetic selves change, which creates a shift in what we’re attracted to and what we attract. Dis-ease and/or toxic relationships are heavy in energetic weight. As we heal, clear, and forgive, it shifts our vibration and creates changes in our outside world. Some changes happen naturally and some just give us an unsettling feeling about something not being right.
As we shift consciousness, our identity shifts and as it does it can feel confusing because our external life is not congruent with our internal life.
Just because you don’t have clarity about something or something doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it used to, doesn’t mean you are confused. You are in a time of change and transformation. For something to transform, it must go through a period of chaos and uncertainty. Don’t rush to figure it out — allow it to be revealed.
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which began on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Is there some aspect of your life that doesn’t feel right, or just feels off?
Have you healed a relationship or physical issue that has catalyzed wanting to make changes in other aspects of your life?
Can you relate to being a chameleon to stay safe? Are you a people pleaser?
Are you scared of being vulnerable or being seen?
Jenn’s Question:
Jenn feels she has lost her inspiration and passion for her business. She wants to gain clarity about her coaching business.
Jenn’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She had a falling out with her mother.
She was physically ill.
She internalizes her mother’s issues.
She was a people pleaser and chameleon around her mother.
She has always been there for others.
Her relationship coaching feels shallow to her now.
She’s committed to getting out of her head.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Bring more of her own voice into her business.
Don’t underestimate the value she brings to her clients.
Consider the way the people she appreciates share their stories.
Share more of her emotional depths.
Takeaways:
Get Expectation Hangover if you don’t have it already, and in the spiritual section do the lesson quest exercise under the role of the seeker.
Take an inventory of your external life. Does it match your internal life?
How can you be more vulnerable and honest? Think of the ways you are a people pleaser or play small. How can you step into a deeper level of authenticity?
Where are you telling yourself you are confused when you are not? Can you allow yourself to be in uncertainty?
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community
@christinehassler on Instagram
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler
This episode is about why we may feel blah like nothing's wrong but it is not right either. Today’s caller, Judith, keeps herself busy to avoid things in her life and would like guidance on how to find a sense of purpose. If you have ever had a sense that nothing feels terribly wrong but nothing feels really right either, or you are not depressed and just feel blah, you will enjoy this episode.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode390]
So many people are operating with the sense that nothing is really wrong but nothing feels quite right either. Some may not even know that it’s not ideal to have a sense of malaise.
If you have a pattern or a way you’ve gotten love, fulfillment, attention, acknowledgment, recognition, etc., and you feel a sense of malaise, or that nothing’s wrong but nothing feels right either, it is usually an indicator that you are using some kind of behavior to give you a sense of fulfillment.
Try making a choice not to do something that gives yourself a sense of fulfillment because it’s a pattern or a reaction. Instead, consciously and intentionally choose to go in a direction that will enhance internal fulfillment. Because we cannot get true lasting internal fulfillment from external sources or external behavior.
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which began on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you had a good life? Nothing bad has happened but you don’t feel a sense of fulfillment?
Are you the kind of person that gets fulfilled from doing and if you’re not doing anything then you’re looking for that sense of fulfillment?
Did you have to grow up early and even though you didn't have a “bad” childhood you had a childhood that was interrupted a little too soon?
Do you have an inward sense of purpose? Do you feel connected to something bigger than you, a sense of spirituality that can hold you in those times when nothing outside of you is bringing you fulfillment?
Judith’s Question:
Judith is at a crossroads and would like guidance on how to overcome a feeling of general malaise.
Judith’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She feels a sense of general malaise.
She didn’t have any major traumas in her life.
Nothing feels wrong but nothing feels right either.
She feels her purpose is to give energy to people and events.
She makes herself busy when she is avoiding something.
She felt she was the glue that held her family together in childhood.
She often would like someone to take care of her.
She is a recovering codependent.
She didn’t have catastrophic events in her life.
She is always curious to learn.
She is a therapist.
She appreciates the journey aspect of life.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Learn how to have a sense of purpose without “doing” anything.
Start a spiritual journey to find a sense of purpose and meaning deep within.
Join the Inner Child Workshop.
Make a list of 3‒5 songs that change her state of being and listen to it when she feels blah.
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware — is good-looking clean cooking. Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and it is non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off on their full suite of products, including their new food storage sets. Be sure to use OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Melody Wilding is the best-selling author of Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work. Named one of Business Insider’s Most Innovative Coaches for her groundbreaking work on “Sensitive Strivers”, her clients include CEOs, C-level executives, and managers at top Fortune 500 companies such as Google, Amazon, and JP Morgan, among others. Melody has been featured in The New York Times and Wall Street Journal and is a contributor to Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and Forbes. Melody is a licensed social worker with a masters from Columbia University and a professor of Human Behavior at Hunter College. Learn more at melodywilding.com
This episode is about how to find a sense of home, safety, and security without being codependent. Today’s caller, Stephania, gets low when going through rough patches and would like some tools to find safety and security within herself. Christine offers ways she can regulate her nervous system to find peace.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode389]
Wanting to feel like home translates into how to feel more regulated inside. How to not be in the fight-or-flight part of our nervous system and settle into rest-and-digest. When we think of the metaphor of home, the feeling of home is safe, nourishing, relaxing, and fulfilling. At home, we know we are always going to have a full belly and a warm heart. That happens inside when we are in that more rested part of our nervous system.
Finding our sense of home is doing the work and asking ourselves questions, but it is also about a consistent practice of knowing when we are dysregulated, aka triggered. So, when we’re in our heads, our heart is beating fast, our stomach is in knots, and we are reactive and time-traveling. Something in the present is triggering us more than it needs to and reminds us of something in the past. When we are in a dysregulated state it’s the practice of finding tools to bring us back into our body to regulate our nervous system.
If a person changes because they have shame or judgment about a behavior versus if a person changes because they have compassion for their wounding and they want to feel peace; the latter change lasts.
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which begins on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you have a history of having an anxious attachment style?
Do you feel like you put everyone else’s needs before yours?
Do you feel dysregulated or triggered often, perhaps even jealous?
Did you lack a parent who nurtured and loved you? Did you know that at least one of your parents, particularly your mother, loved you unconditionally?
Stephania’s Question:
Stephania asks for tools to help her find safety within herself.
Stephania’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She searches outside herself for safety and security.
She is a people pleaser.
She creates safety within her relationships with other people.
She is aware of her codependent tendencies.
Messages on her partner’s phone triggered her.
She and her partner are going to couples therapy.
She doesn’t know how to be compassionate with herself.
She is sad because her mother didn’t give her compassion.
She didn’t feel love from her mother and has been trying to fill the void.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Regulate her nervous system.
Take ownership of her tendencies and patterns without shame or judgment.
She doesn’t need to fix anything to make her lovable.
Speak the language of love to herself.
Tap into the mother archetype to embody what being a mother truly means.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about reclaiming lost aspects of ourselves. Today’s caller, Michael, feels lost. He keeps checking things off his list and achieving his goals but lacks purpose and satisfaction in life. Christine offers guidance about how he can reclaim the childhood parts of himself that were buried long ago.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode388]
It doesn’t matter whether we are gay or we are too tall, too thin, or we have the wrong skin color, whatever it is, as children, most of us fundamentally decide there is something wrong with us. It is at that point where our freedom, childish curiosity, wonderment, innocence, creativity, and radical self-acceptance dies. The second we are shamed for a part of who we are, it's like a part of us dies inside.
When our childlike parts that are full of life and authenticity get cut off, we feel dead inside and lost because those parts were huge parts of our life. It’s like a car with no steering wheel. Good luck getting around anywhere. You can sit in it, rev the engine, and play a radio but you can’t go anywhere.
We are not always consciously aware that we carry around the grief of the childhood parts of us that were not fully expressed. And, we will always feel lost if there is a part of us that is missing. As adults, we search for something to make that part of us feel alive again. We crave reclamation.
Sometimes we desperately fight for what we want without knowing that we are fighting for it. We are always looking for safety. Whatever we are looking for outside of us has to be found inside.
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? If so, Christine and Stefanos held a free masterclass on Valentine’s Day. Get the recording at christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass. And, find out more about the Be the Queen program, which includes an in-person one-day retreat and a self-paced recorded option at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or e-mail Jill@christinehassler.com.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you have to morph yourself as a child in order to be accepted or to feel not so different?
Did people say they accepted you but inside you always felt different?
Have you climbed a lot of mountains, gone to the summit, looked around, and said “wait a second, this is it?” and now you’re looking for your next mountain to climb?
Have you ever dealt with depression, feeling low in the deep dark nights of the soul, or considered ending your life?
Michael’s Question:
Michael feels lost and would like guidance about how to reclaim freedom and purpose.
Michael’s Key Insights and Ahas:
He has completed the Personal Mastery program.
He has been through ups and downs in his life.
He used to have vision and purpose but doesn’t feel them any longer.
He has experienced bouts of severe depression.
He didn’t feel like he belonged with boys or girls as a child.
His coping strategy is suppression.
He searches out role models.
He overshares with people he trusts.
He is looking for something outside of himself.
He felt ashamed of being gay.
He yearns to be seen for who he truly is.
He sabotaged himself in order to force change.
He numbed himself for most of his adult life.
He reads tarot cards.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
He needs to liberate and fully express himself.
Stop looking for something to do and commit to reclaiming his lost self to give himself the childhood he didn’t have.
Learn to channel his creativity, energy, and sensitivity.
Takeaways:
Join the Personal Mastery program.
What parts of yourself do you need to reclaim? It is time for them to come alive again, so you can come alive again.
Sponsor:
Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about how to respond with curiosity to people who are not respecting you. Today’s caller, Mica, is looking for guidance on how they can change their response to become more empowered when it comes to people not using the preferred pronouns they have asked them to use. This call opens our awareness to non-binary individuals who like to be called they and them and not the traditional pronouns we may be used to and about how growing up in a restrictive environment impacts us as adults.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode387]
Identity, be it race, gender, or age, when we take it all out of the equation, all we are is love. Every single one of us is love. Often, it takes people who don’t fit into a mold to teach those who do fit in more of a mold that nothing matters but who someone’s essence is. Who we are as humans on this planet is just love and that’s it. That is what we all are here to learn.
What scares most of us about conflict is that we think we have to be confrontational. If we don’t attack we think our only other option is to retreat or we feel we either have to charge ahead or collapse. That is a very common dynamic. The goal is to respond to people that aren’t respecting you with curiosity versus confrontation.
Curiosity is powerful. It is one of the most underused responses and ways to be. When we approach people with curiosity, they are able to hear. It allows us to make direct requests of them from a place of vulnerability and authenticity.
The more we accept ourselves for who we are, the less oppression we face. It’s not that there isn’t oppression or people who don’t respect who we are. But, when we can really come into full self-acceptance, we can teach people how to treat us and respect us. We also aren’t letting our own nervous system get dysregulated due to someone else’s ignorance or stubbornness.
Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? If so, join Christine and Stefanos for a free masterclass on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14th, 2023 at 7:30 CST. Join live or get the recording at christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you made requests of other individuals and they’re just not listening or they are not honoring your requests?
When you are in times of conflict, do you have the tendency to either attack or retreat? Do you want to find a more empowered way to respond?
Did you grow up in an oppressive household and you did anything you could to try to fit in?
Do you want to feel a sense of freedom to be yourself and not care what anybody else thinks and move into a place of radical self-acceptance and be free?
Mica’s Question:
Mica has felt friction when establishing the pronouns they prefer and would like guidance on how to deal with conflict.
Mica’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Takeaways:
Move into self-acceptance and work with your rebel part and tell it that it is free. Tell it there is nothing to prove and it doesn’t have to fight.
Sponsor:
Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about breaking bad dating patterns. Today’s caller, Amber, is aware that she has a pattern of dating men with issues, but she is unsure how to shift it. She asks for guidance about why she continually calls in the same type of person and how she can change it. No matter what your relationship status, this call will help you to closely connect to your inner child to shift current-day issues.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode386]
Very few people in their childhood experience pure unconditional love. Most people have to come up with strategies to feel loved and they often never do feel love unconditionally. As a child, if our parents aren’t okay, we are not okay.
We all speak a language of love that often is not love. As children, it was the only way we knew to survive because we all need love and we all need to feel connected to our caretaker. We may think it is love but it is the only way we know how to relate.
We can drive ourselves crazy trying to deal with present-day issues, or trying to change something in the present but unless we find the root cause it is really hard to shift things. It is akin to having a chronic health problem. We try to find a functional medicine doctor to help us get to the root cause of our issue. If we don’t, we are just throwing medication and treatments at the symptoms. We never just want to treat the symptoms. We want to treat the root cause of our issues.
If you are in a relationship you know is not working or is not healthy. Get out of it and look for the root cause. Focus on being a partner and parent to yourself. Until we re-parent ourselves, we play out the patterns of our unmet needs. Until we become a great partner to ourselves we are not going to have the conscious partnership we truly desire.
Are you ready to find love and call in your person? If so, join the next Group Coaching Call on February 7th, 2023 at 7:30 pm CST. For only $20, Christine and Stefanos are providing live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to sign up.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Amber’s Question:
Amber has a pattern of dating partners with issues. She would like guidance on how to shift it to have a healthy, conscious relationship.
Amber’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware — offers fabulous looking clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about getting over an unwanted breakup and so much more. Today’s caller, Nicole, was surprised when her husband of two years asked for a divorce citing different communication styles. She would like guidance on how to get over the breakup and how to use what she is learning about herself to heal her triggers.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode385]
When we grow up with the feeling of struggle, or we feel our parents struggle, we can’t just be kids. We can’t completely relax. So, in our adult relationships, we look for relief.
Other people can help us heal and can be amazing sources of support but no one can save us from ourselves. We can rely on people to hold space for us and they can be amazing support systems. But if we are always looking to someone else to fill a void, save us, help us, or end our struggles, then we never really embody the knowing that we can fill that void, or deal with that struggle ourselves. It is super empowering to know we can do that ourselves and know we don’t need to rely on someone else for love, stability, or safety.
The answers are never outside of ourselves. They are always found within.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Nicole’s Question:
Nicole feels she manifested her divorce and would like guidance on how to get over it.
Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Sponsor:
Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about navigating a different path than your family. Today’s caller, George, grew up in a healthy family environment but always felt he was on a different spiritual path than the rest of his family. He asks for guidance about accepting differences and for practices to heal his inner child. If you are a generational pattern breaker, or if you are choosing a different path than the one your family is on, this episode offers guidance for you too.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode384]
For many generational pattern breakers, we are conflicted between our soul path and our family lineage. We are born knowing we are on a different path. We all come into life with our level of consciousness, the beliefs we adhere to, and our soul path. It may be difficult to understand when all the other members of a family are committed to something we may not be committed to. We have the family we are born into and then we find our soul family.
When we choose something different, it can feel terrifying to break out of the family norm. One of our survival needs is wired to our nervous system and the part of our nervous system that is connected to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn is belonging. When we sever any type of tie to family, even if we can logically understand it, it still wakes up our need for belonging. It can bring up feelings of guilt or shame.
We believe that our family should be the ones who know us best but sometimes they are not. And, that is okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t love them or have a relationship with them, it just means that we find our soul family in other places.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
George’s Question:
George wants to know how to navigate and set boundaries within the relationship he has with his family.
George’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Sponsor:
Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, improving well-being, and increasing high-quality sleep. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.