14: How to Get Over a Choice You Regret

Seasons change and so do we. We all have expectations as to how our lives should be, what our family should think of us and how we will feel after making a big change.

 

When we cannot come to terms with the decisions we have made, we experience regret and consequently an Expectation Hangover. But regret is useless and we often beat ourselves up over nothing. We cannot move forward by living in regret.

 

What if instead of suffering from regret, we found peace and experienced connection by reprogramming our unconscious mind to fully accept the decisions we have made? What if instead of dwelling on the past, we fully opened ourselves to receiving all the gifts in the present?

 

In today’s call, Jenny is uncertain about her decision to move, in order to be closer to her family. She is having difficulty creating her new life, because she is stuck in her old one. She is also physically sick from the stress. She thinks geography may be a factor, but we discover she may need to stop pushing against the change and allow things to happen.

 

Taking a step back and seeing the impression her indecisiveness is leaving on her children, might be the key that helps Jenny to accept the decisions she has made and to move forward towards creating the story she wants to tell.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there a recent decision you made you currently regret?
• Are you in a situation where you think that changing things is the answer to your problems?
• Are you feeling physically drained and apathetic?
• Are you an adventure junkie?
• Are you a parent and feel it's important to make your child feel safe and secure?

 

Jenny’s Question:

Jenny is making herself physically sick and tired, because she regrets moving a long distance to be closer to her family and would like to know how to get over it and on with it.

 

Jenny’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

• She is living half in Wyoming and half in Wisconsin
• Her fatigue is a signal from her body
• Self-judgment is sucking her dry
• She's stuttering on decisions

 

How to get over it and on with it:

• Fully accept the reasons for making previous decisions
• Be fully present wherever you are
• Begin a spiritual practice such as yoga and/or meditation
• Create the feeling you are missing
• Learn to live more inside out and less outside in
• Embody safety and acceptance
• Create a community where you are

 

Tools and Takeaways:

• Write out a list of emotions you want to feel and generate them, reorient yourself from inside out
• Write out these 3 things:

              ○   The reasons why it was the best decision you could have made, given the information you had

              ○   The reasons why you feel safe and secure

              ○   The reasons why you can trust yourself

• Collect evidence about the story you want to tell
• Inspect your health problem to see if it could be a lack of self-love; also check out "Choosing me before we” for in-depth analysis
• Examine what you are teaching your children, they feel your energy

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

Coaching Corner - Getting Over Regret

Choosing ME Before WE - Christine Hassler