18: How To Feel Happy No Matter What

Advertisements, movies and even fairy tales will tell you a product, money or a prince are all you need to live happily ever after. Sorry, that is not true. External things are not the key to a happy life.

Because happiness is an inside job, we are all capable of self-generating the feeling of happiness. If we move to acceptance , we will recognize that the source of our own happiness comes from within.

We ARE capable of living our lives contently. But first, we must examine what we are devoted to and look into the places in our lives where being grateful of what we already have can elevate us to acceptance. It is normal for humans to lead lives full of ebbs and flows.

Our caller, Jennifer, is putting pressure on herself to figure out her entire life even though she is only 24 years old. She has an expectation hangover about not being where she thinks she should be in her career. She is waiting for something external to bring her happiness and to spark her passion.

People with high expectations tend to not feel happy more often. Listen to this week’s Coaches Corner – Is it possible to be happy all the time? – for an in-depth look at the secret sauce to overcoming an expectation hangover.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Which “if then” and “if when” equations have you set up to define your own happiness?
• Do you think you should be further along in your life?
• Do you think it’s too late to be happy?
• Are you feeling depressed in your life and expecting something to come and save you?

Jennifer’s Question:

Jennifer feels stuck. She tries new things but gives up on them easily. She wants to know when the spark will come to keep her from feeling lost and unhappy.

Jennifer’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

• She pretends she can find happiness outside herself
• Surrounding herself with people she loves brings her happiness
• She wants things to come to her without working for them
• She hasn’t taken action to keep herself from being disappointed
• She is not supposed to figure out her entire life by 25

How to get over it and on with it:

• Realize happiness is a moment, not a permanent state
• Have low attachment and high involvement
• She can create the feeling of happiness anytime she wants
• Accept herself, quirks and all
• Take a comedy or an improv class
• Make two people at work smile every day

Tools and Takeaways:

• What will it take for you to fully accept your life as it is right now?
• Stop trying to do things. Either do something or don’t. There is no in between.
• Do what you need to do to de-blah yourself and get your mojo back on.
• Create happiness on the inside by starting with gratitude
• Be a happiness ambassador
• Physically connect with people

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

[e-mail]

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