The New Year comes with the tradition of making resolutions, which are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” We vow to exercise more, get a better job, meditate regularly, fall in love, or find a different way to handle our stress. But does this really do us any good? Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and beat ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in the year that serves us better? YES! And it has been my New Year ritual for the past ten years which I share in todays’ Coaching Corner.  NOTE: you can do this process ANYTIME during the year because it is always a good time to consciously let go of what is not serving you so then you can intentionally co-create your dreams and desires.

Our physical body ages naturally with time, but our emotional development is much more complex. Our minds have the ability to leave situations unfinished – anticipating that a resolution will appear eventually. When this happens, we get stuck by reliving our hurts and challenges over and over again until we are mentally ready to deal with these emotions. 

Becoming comfortable with our own vulnerability is how we heal this unfinished business. We can start by reassuring ourselves that it’s okay, it’s over, and it’s safe now. It’s okay to stop creating distractions that only serve to move us farther and farther away from the healing of our core wounds. Healing starts with self-love and it always comes back to our relationship with our self.

Today’s caller, Jenna, believes she is struggling with consistency issues.  She quickly realizes that she may be manifesting physical health problems; and living the life of an overachiever to gain the attention and love she didn’t receive as a teenager. 

Jenna is asking for help, which is a clear sign she is ready to get over it and on with it. A relationship that is free of judgement and filled with compassion, like the relationship with a coach, will help her to continue on her personal development journey and reinforce the relationship she needs to build with her younger self. 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• When it comes to dealing with challenging issues, do you analyze the issues to try to figure them out rather than feeling and processing these things fully? How do you handle your emotions?
• If you spoke with your friends in the same way you speak to yourself would you have any friends?
• Do you get frustrated with your personal growth? When you make progress do you tend to backtrack, creating an endless loop? 

Jenna’s Question:

Jenna is struggling to get to the root of her consistency issues regarding her health and wellness and wants to know how to stay on track.

Jenna’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

• She didn’t feel safe or secure in her youth
• Her health has become a distraction
• She doesn’t have to manifest health issues to get love and attention
• It’s easier to act outwardly than to reflect inwardly

How to get over it and on with it:

• Jenna should encourage her younger self 
• She should take care of her emotional body as well as her physical body
• She should parent herself in the way she wanted to be parented
• Look in the mirror with one hand on her heart and the other on her stomach and say something kind to herself
• Have a vulnerability conversation with her counselor

Tools and Takeaways:

• Listen to Episode 16, Why our parents trigger us (no matter what our age) , on Parenting
• Identify the distractions and coping strategies you adopt to keep yourself from feeling emotions or pain
• Develop a relationship with your younger self by writing a letter to reassure him or her that it is over
• Start each day connecting with yourself in the mirror and saying encouraging things
• Practice vulnerability with people in your life
• Continue in your personal development and if you aren’t growing you may need to make some changes

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

Daring Greatly

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com