Over It And On With It

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CC: Money Magic with Michelle Masters 0

Jul 24, 2021

Internationally bestselling author Michelle Masters has been a Personal Development Trainer and Coach since 1995. Michelle’s work is an innovative use of Neuro-Science based change techniques, Family Constellation work, and quantum healing modalities combined with profound understandings of what creates transformation and lasting change for people.
Her hugely popular Money Magic workshop has helped people all over the world to transform their lives and money.

Learn more here: https://michellemastersnlp.com/

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EP 306: Why You Feel Rejected with Claudia 0

Jul 21, 2021

This episode is about rejection. Today’s caller, Claudia, experiences sadness when she feels rejected. We talk through her feelings of rejection and uncover them to be something she did not connect until this session. If you have a pattern of feeling rejected you will benefit from listening to this episode.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode306]

Many times sweet people, or big feelers, people who are more comfortable in sadness than in anger, hold stuff inside rather than confronting others.

Anytime we feel rejected, even as a child, there is a part of us that is really pissed off. We get angry when we are rejected but, many times because the hurt is so big we want to figure it out. The mind can’t figure out why a parent would ever reject us. No child can figure it out. A child can’t work through the understanding that a parent has their own issues. So we end up resenting the people who reject us.

Energetically if you walk around as a wounded child who was rejected it will be hard to pull in a person or match who fully sees you. But, by taking your power back, it will open up space in your life. When you have resentments in your heart it is hard for people to get in. They don’t want to be someone else you resent. Carrying around resentments can push people away.

As long as there is a part of you who hasn’t forgiven your family of origin, for being rejected, you will feel resentment. Forgiveness is not condoning, it is letting go of the judgment.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you ever feel rejected? And, no matter what you do you can’t seem to get over the pattern of rejection?
How are you with anger? Are you someone who can handle sadness but when it comes to anger, that’s a different story?
Do you ever feel people don’t choose you because of who you are and you constantly try to be someone you are not?
Do you ever feel like you’re rejected because other people feel jealous of you?

Claudia’s Question:

Claudia feels rejected when people are afraid to get close to her and jealous of her.

Claudia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She recently went through a breakup.
She says men are attracted to her energy but afraid of her leadership.
She feels women are jealous of her.
She feels rejected.
She repeats patterns of not being enough and not feeling seen.
She retreats rather than confronting others.
A family member rejected her.
She feels sadness more than anger.
She tried very hard to be seen as a child.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find people who are in alignment with her.
Deal with the anger she feels about being rejected.
Forgive herself for the beliefs that perpetuate the lens of rejection and resentment.
Do not make herself wrong or dim her light.
Give little Claudia a voice and allow her to be mad or angry.

Takeaways:

If you deal with resentment, look at where you feel sad and rejected.
If you deal with a lot of rejection, look at where you may feel resentful.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: The Five Personality Patterns with Steven Kessler 0

Jul 17, 2021

Steven Kessler has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 30 years, teaching both locally and internationally. He is a certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Expert and Trainer, and is the bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and communicating with them effectively. More information and descriptions of the patterns are available at www.The5PersonalityPatterns.com. Steven loves teaching and helping people grow. He can be reached at Steven@The5PersonalityPatterns.com

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EP 305: You Can’t Truly Help Others Unless You Help Yourself with Carrisa 0

Jul 14, 2021

This episode is about acquiring a healthy relationship between giving and receiving. Today’s caller, Carrisa, gives to everyone except herself. We talk through ways she can fill her cup before helping others, how to shed the imposter syndrome, and the importance of committing to her inner child.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode305]

We cannot give and give and then expect to feel great. It is beautiful to help people but from a full cup. Otherwise, we deplete ourselves and try to make ourselves feel better through others. It does not work. Anyone who gives and gives and gives to others but does not give to themselves will not feel worthy. People-pleasers, over-givers, and martyrs never feel worthy because they give so much.

You have to be able to receive from yourself and others to feel worthy. You can help and give but you need to be supported as well.

When you have healthy boundaries, a lot of support, and are checking in with your inner child you can help and serve others from a full cup. You won’t feel like an imposter because you will be practicing what you preach.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you have resistance or laziness that comes out when it comes to doing things that are just for you or doing things that are outside the realm of your normal day-to-day activities?
Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel seen?
Do you often dread doing something because you’re afraid you’re going to disappoint other people?
When it comes to serving others, are you doing it because it makes you feel good or because that’s the way you love yourself?

Carrisa’s Question:

Carrisa is uncertain of whether her feelings are intuition or conditioning and why she feels resistance.

Carrisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She worries about affecting the people around her.
She is a people-pleaser with hints of a savior complex.
Her childhood home was chaotic and she felt invisible as the 6th child of 7 children.
She judges herself for being lazy and being resistant.
She tends to go with the flow.
She understands herself but puts herself last.
She feels complacent in her marriage.
She hasn’t taken a lot of time for herself.
She wants to integrate her passion into her massage therapy work.
She feels like an imposter when it comes to coaching.
She is imbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be her own client and keep an observation journal about her boundaries and her decisions.
Listen to her alarm systems and check in with little Carrisa.
Color with little Carissa 15-minutes a day.
Have conscious conversations with her husband about co-parenting.
Stop trying to heal herself by helping others.

Takeaways:

Become your own client. Instead of judging and analyzing yourself, observe yourself neutrally.
Connect with your inner child and make them a commitment in your life.
Stop people-pleasing and make yourself a priority.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Speak your Mind and Own your Strength with Andrea Owen 0

Jul 10, 2021

If you have struggled this past year (or really ever), you are going to love this episode. Speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen joins Christine for a vulnerable and inspiring conversation on mental health and healing trauma. Andrea is creating a global impact in women’s empowerment with her books being translated into 18 languages and available in 22 countries.

She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, and master resilience.

Her latest book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength is coming in August 2021. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

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EP 304: Cutting Ties with a Family Member with Alison 0

Jul 7, 2021

This episode is about cutting ties with a toxic family member. Today’s caller, Alison, continues to relive the cycle of abuse she received from her mother. There is a part of her that believes her mother will one day change and give her the love she desires. If you have someone you are considering ending a relationship with, you will get great value from this session. If this particular circumstance doesn’t apply to you, you can probably relate to a situation where you want to do something but guilt and obligation are keeping you from making a self-honoring decision.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode304]

Just because someone is related to you, even a parent, doesn’t give them the right to be in your life.

When we are the parentified child it is confusing in the psyche and that is why there is a lot of guilt and obligation. Because as a parent, you can’t imagine abandoning your child. You would still love your child no matter what happened. That is the appropriate order of things. We are not supposed to be a parent to our parents.

So, when it comes to cutting ties with a family member it is tricky. It is difficult because we are in role reversal. Much of the guilt comes from being the parental figure to our parents which makes it hard to cut them off. This is not a healthy dynamic.

What I have learned about boundaries, family, and having a healthy life is that continuing to be in a relationship with someone, even our mother, who is abusive, volatile, or who cannot respect boundaries, just because they are a family member out of guilt and obligation is not love. Sometimes it is cutting ties with someone that may be the catalyst for them to wake up and do their own work.

I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Is there someone in your life who does not deserve it and it is not healthy to have them in your life anymore?
Are you often the peacemaker in the family or other relationships?
Are you still living in a fantasy of what you wish your parents or someone in your life could be when you need to grieve what they are?
Do you love yourself and your family enough to put firm, healthy boundaries around you so you can break generational patterns and trauma?

Alison’s Question:

Alison wants guidance about how to have an adult relationship with her abusive mother.

Alison’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She had a traumatic childhood.
She has difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
She was the caregiver in the relationship with her mother.
She has a seven-year-old son.
Her grandmother was an important part of her life.
Her mother’s boyfriend was verbally abusive.
Her mother never stood up for her.
Her son has very little contact with her mother.
Her son triggers her childhood memories.
She worries that she will lose other family relationships if she cuts ties with her mother.
She is betraying her needs and her inner child.
Her mother doesn’t want her to change.
Her inner child thinks her mother will one day change.
She is the peacemaker in the family.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Have a clarifying conversation with her brother and grandfather about her decision to break ties.
Stop justifying her mother’s behavior.
Find peace within herself.

Takeaways:

Ask yourself where you may be in a relationship out of guilt and obligation?
Where are you the peacemaker when you don’t have peace?
What ties do you need to cut?
Why do you protect someone else’s feelings more than the energy of your inner child?
You deserve healthy boundaries.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services