Over It And On With It

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

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CC: Christine & Stef Work Through an Inner Child Trigger 0

Sep 25, 2021

This is an episode NOT to miss. My husband and I get so raw and vulnerable as we talk through something that upset Stef and triggered his inner child. If you want an intimate look at how we work though triggers and comfort our own (and each other's) inner child, be sure to listen. You will learn so much about your relationship with your own inner child as well. We all have a tender, sensitive little one inside who needs us to parent them with love, safety, acceptance and consistency.

If you want to learn more about the virtual retreat we are teaching on healing your inner child, please go here: https://christinehassler.com/innerchild/

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EP 315: Be a Stand For What You Want in Your Life with Sebastian 0

Sep 22, 2021

This episode is about taking a stand for what we value. Today’s caller, Sebastian, is not getting his needs met in his relationship. He is attempting to talk through his issues, but the results are not changing. We discuss ways to get clarification from his partner about what she needs and how he can have his needs met by taking a stand for his values.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode315]

If communication solved every issue in a relationship, we could all just read communication books and have the most amazing relationships, friendships, and parental relationships. Everything would be easy. But, it is not. We need to do the inner work. We play out our childhood stuff in our adult life, especially in relationships.

When a child has emotionally unavailable parents, they learn to tolerate a lot more hurt. When they grow into adults, they may have a pattern of thinking things are better than they truly are in their intimate relationships.

In relationships, friendships, or any kind of intimate relationship, we often love and give in the way we want to be given to and loved, not necessarily the way that person needs or wants it.

We have to be bold when it comes to things like love, our families, our health, our well-being, and what is important to us. We must take a stand for our values.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you find yourself not being a firm stand for what you want in your life?
Do you ever tiptoe around people afraid of upsetting them?
Do you often feel disrespected in conversations or just not heard?
Do you have some codependent patterns and let people walk all over you?
Do you often find yourself with emotionally unavailable or avoidant-type people?

Sebastian’s Question:

Sebastian feels he doesn’t get his needs met in his relationship and would like guidance on how to have a healthier relationship.

Sebastian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

His relationship has ups and downs.
Hurtful things are said between him and his partner.
He and his partner have done couple counseling.
He has a 10-year-old son with his partner.
He feels disrespected by his partner.
He loves his family.
His partner finds it is overwhelming to deal with his emotions.
He is trying to uncover and overcome the relationship issues.
He is codependent.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Get curious about what his partner needs.
Have a conversation about what each other needs emotionally.
Stand in his strong, healthy masculine and ask his partner if she wants the relationship to work.
Step into his power and take a stand for himself and the relationship.

Takeaways:

Take a stand for your values. Be very clear about what you want and where you are going.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: The High Five Habit with Mel Robbins 0

Sep 18, 2021

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode. One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life.

Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide.

Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans’ organizations, and the world’s leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled.

As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time.

There’s nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people’s lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.

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EP 314: Getting Over Loss with Regina 0

Sep 15, 2021

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. Today’s caller, Regina, is a widow who is grieving over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode314]

Loss is an incredibly painful but inevitable part of our life. When it happens it is important we give ourselves time to grieve and not try to be strong and move on right away. But there comes a point in our life when life has to go on.

Whether it is the death of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, we can’t allow loss to suck the life out of us. Otherwise, we end up existing, not truly living. We honor those who transition by continuing to live.

People who deal with expectation hangovers often feel guilty to admit it but they tend to be apathetic to life. The reason for the apathy is the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference or apathy. When we go through something challenging, especially if we are lonely through it, we allow our self-love tank to get so low that we slip into indifference. Without love there is apathy. Getting out of it requires choosing to live, not just to go through the motions; we need something we want to live for.

Give yourself permission to live for and find something that reconnects you back to love.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you recently been through a loss and can’t seem to move on?
Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve?
Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently?
Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again?

Regina’s Question:

Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted.

Regina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is approaching retirement.
She is not in the place she thought she would be in her life.
She lives alone.
There is a part of her that doesn’t want to be anymore.
She has regrets about how she raised her children.
She doesn’t believe we get more than one love in our lives.
Her husband was her best friend.
She beats herself up a lot.
She knows if she can create a negative story for herself, she is capable of creating a positive story, too.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Choose to create a future that is enlivening.
Give herself permission to live and allow love in.
Have a loving relationship with herself.
Speak to herself as a loving mother would to a child.
Forgive herself for being mean to herself.
Write out some promises to herself.

Takeaways:

Practice self-love.
Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life.
Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time.
Content that focuses on overcoming regret.

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Check out their new seamless Form line. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Spirituality and Your Genius Zone with Gay Hendricks 0

Sep 11, 2021

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. fromStanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir ErrolHyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortune through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio andtelevision shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others. His new book, The Genius Zone, was published in June, 2021.

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EP 313: Stop Letting Your Issues Block You From Intimacy with Mike 0

Sep 8, 2021

This episode is about learning the tools to deal with triggers and the avoidant attachment style. This week’s caller, Mike, would like guidance on how to be more open-hearted and vulnerable in his intimate relationships. This session will be of service to those who have an avoidant style and for those who attract Avoidants. We discuss how to understand them and how not to take their actions personally.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode313]

Anything is healable. It doesn’t matter what is in your background, childhood, or past. I’ve seen it over and over again. Does it happen overnight? No. Is it always easy? No. Is it going to change overnight? Healable doesn’t mean we go from having an avoidant attachment style to being totally open-hearted, totally secure, and never having triggers.

Healing is not being perfect, not being free of any triggers but really learning how to work with those triggers, manage those triggers, so that they don’t become roadblocks in our life. Triggers can be alarm systems for growth and not a dead end. Awareness is not enough to heal.

People with an avoidant attachment style are not trying to avoid being close or being in love. They are trying to avoid rejection, hurt, and pain. When we are with an Avoidant, and they pull away or put walls up, it can make us feel as if we have done something wrong. But, we cannot take it personally. If you are with an Avoidant, the best thing you can do when they are triggered is don’t attack them, don’t tell them they are doing anything wrong, then reassure them that you are there and you love them.

On September 14th, Christine and Stefanos will teach a virtual group call at 5 pm PST.

Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8‒10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild.

Mike’s Question:

Mike would like guidance on how to be more open-minded and open-hearted when approaching his relationships.

Mike’s Key Insights and Ahas:

His marriage of 12 years recently ended.
He emotionally shut down in his relationships.
He has an insecure attachment style.
Fear of rejection keeps him from being vulnerable.
He was not loved for being himself as a child.
He is self-aware.
He feels as if his personal development work has stalled.
He does not want to repeat the mistakes of his past.
He is ready to date again.
He has high standards.
He puts walls up to protect himself.
He struggles to be vulnerable.
He feels he can apply the practical guidance.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge himself for the personal development work he is doing.
Start dating again.
Lean into vulnerability.
Accept himself for who he is.
Have compassion for himself and his fear.
It is okay to be scared.

Takeaways:

On the field is the best way to get good at a game. We cannot run from hurt. We have to expose ourselves to triggers so we can integrate and deal with hurt and fear.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: How To Get Over The One You Thought Was ‘The One’ 0

Sep 4, 2021

The feeling of being in love is the best. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. And then it ends. And you are not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong. I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief. This Coaches Corner will help!

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EP 312: Stepping Into Your Purpose with Mike 0

Sep 1, 2021

This episode is about stepping into your purpose and fulfilling your dreams. This week’s caller, Mike, thinks his problem is complex, but it’s not. His constant search of products and materials leads him to believe his next steps need to come from outside of himself. We discuss how he may be stalling by continuing to do research instead of listening to his internal inspiration and moving forward.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode312]

Dreams or anything we long for; the dreams we feel in our heart are different from the kinds of dreams we hope will make us feel better about ourselves, or fill a void. Those are ego-based desires. But, listening inside to hear our heartfelt dreams is part of our psychic ability. And, we are all a little psychic or intuitive.

We don’t long for something if we don’t feel that it is coming. If we have a premonition, on some level our dreams are already coming to fruition. We cannot control the exact timing of it. If we feel it and we want it, it may take a week or ten years because it takes time for dreams to evolve.

What stalls a lot of people from really stepping into sharing their gift, or serving people in a greater way, is they think they have to be perfect. To achieve our dreams, we just need to be honest, vulnerable, and committed, not perfect.

We have all the answers inside; we just need to take time to question ourselves and answer.

Consider/Ask Yourself

What heartfelt dreams are calling you forward?
Do you have a sense of what you want to do but are not taking action?
Do you start a lot of projects but do not follow them through to completion?
Are you waiting for some kind of answer or sign from the universe to make a decision?

Mike’s Question:

Mike has a dream of becoming an entrepreneur but he lacks confidence in his decision-making process. He would like to break the cycle of never moving forward.

Mike’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He wants to be an entrepreneur.
He put his dream on hold when his daughter was born.
He is always looking for the next big thing.
He gets easily redirected.
He lacks confidence in his decision-making process.
He is a Preacher and motivator.
He is good at inspiring others.
He wants to make a difference in other people’s lives.
He is in a cycle of frustration.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Let his inspiration drive his next steps.
Let God use him as an instrument.
Write his life experience resume.
Meditate and recognize his unique gifts.
Start with his big vision and work backward.

Takeaways:

Write a life experience resume.
Re-orient towards an internal direction. Listen to your own inner wisdom. Try it for thirty days.
Answer these questions:
- Who am I here to serve?
- What can I offer?
- How can I deliver it?

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Stop Comparing Yourself with Melissa Ambrosini 0

Aug 28, 2021

If you ever compare yourself to anyone else, this episode is for you! Learn the difference between healthy and toxic comparison and how to form closer connections when comparison is gone.

Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Comparisonitis, Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, and the Audible Original PurposeFULL as well as the winner of ‘The Best eBooks Of All Time’ as voted by Book Depository.

Melissa is the host of #1 rated podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show, where she shares her wisdom and interviews with the biggest thought leaders and experts in the world to help her audience unlock their full potential and live their dream life.

When Melissa isn’t writing books and recording her podcast she is speaking on stages, teaching and creating online programs, meditations and life changing live events.

With a deep commitment to empowering others to become the best version of themselves, Melissa believes that awakening is possible for everyone. She strives to inspire others to reclaim their power, step into their truth, live with intention, and move in the direction of their dreams.

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EP 311: Should I Leave My Marriage? With Anne 0

Aug 25, 2021

This episode is about making empowered decisions and changes with integrity. Today’s caller, Anne, is questioning whether or not she should leave her 25-year marriage. She feels she has tried to communicate her needs. We work through how she is communicating and whether or not she is being vulnerable enough to make an empowered decision.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode311]

Often, in masculine-feminine dynamics, it requires the feminine dropping into a deep vulnerability with no victim, no blame, no anger, no reason, just an open, heart-baring, soul truth that ignites the masculine to look within so it can open up.

When we are too much in hopelessness-helpless, when we are too much in victim, the only answer seems to be to get out of a situation because we don’t feel empowered.

One of the ways we get empowered is to look at our side of things and then we communicate vulnerably, because we are not empowered when we communicate emotionally, reactively, or with blame or neediness.

And remember, vulnerability is different than a victimy emotional reaction. It has a different frequency and people can hear us when we are vulnerable. They can’t hear us when we are emotional or blaming them. It puts their defenses up. They can’t hear the truth and intimacy of what we are saying when they are defensive.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Are you torn about what to do in a relationship? Do you want to stay? Do you want to go? Do you tend to look at what someone else is doing wrong and all the ways that they’re not meeting your needs and maybe don’t look quite enough at how you’re perpetuating it?
Are you aware of what your needs are? Are you good at communicating your needs?
Do you feel in your gut that you just want to do something but you just can’t take the action?

Anne’s Question:

Anne is struggling with the decision to stay in her marriage.

Anne’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has been married for 25 years and has four children with her husband.
She feels she and her husband have grown apart.
Her husband says he wants to make the marriage work.
Her husband’s job and commitments took a lot of his time.
She asked him to take more time with her and the children.
She collected evidence of the ways he wasn’t showing up for the marriage.
She doesn’t know if she still loves him.
Fear may be driving her choice.
There is some part of her that may be shut down.
She wants to be loved by him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Continue to have vulnerable conversations with her husband.
Drop into her feminine vulnerability.
Consider where she may have walls up around her heart.
Use “I” language, not “you” language.
Write out her fears, desires, and insecurities and read them to her husband.

Takeaways:

If there is something you are looking at that you think is wrong and you just need to get out, consider where the decision is coming from. Are you empowered? Have you been vulnerable? Have you looked inside yourself to see if you are mad or blaming? Do you feel like a victim and feel like the only decision is to leave?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Reprogram your mind and change your life with Brandy Gillmore 0

Aug 21, 2021

Brandy Gillmore, PhD in natural medicine, is a world-renowned mind/body energy expert who is well known for her discoveries in self-healing and working with the power of the mind to get tangible results. Her breakthrough work has been featured in an award-winning documentary and various docuseries. Brandy speaks on stages around the world and has also given a mind-expanding TEDx talk.

Brandy’s expertise in self-healing originated from her own devastating accident that left her disabled and living in excruciating pain despite being on multiple medications, including morphine. When doctors told Brandy there was nothing they could do, she became determined to find a solution. After years of trial and error, she was able to make incredible discoveries with the mind that ultimately enabled her to heal herself. Today she uses these same discoveries to help others also get radical life-changing results.

Today, Brandy works with top celebrities, Olympic athletes, CEOs, entrepreneurs, and groups worldwide sharing her leading-edge discoveries. Her goal is to help advance traditional research to bridge the gap between science and spirituality.

You can register for her free video event "Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Positivity, Healing & Successful Manifestation" here: https://christinehassler.com/reprogram

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EP 310: Exploring Your Life Rather Than Analyzing it with Marley 0

Aug 18, 2021

This episode is about taking the time to explore life and relationships. Today’s caller, Marley, is putting a lot of pressure on her current relationship. She future-forecasts instead of considering what the relationship may be able to teach her. We delve into how she can be curious, explore, and take the pressure off.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode310]

Often, we go into relationships wondering if the other person is the one, so much so that we miss out on what we can learn from the other person. It is important to let your early relationships be a discovery process and explore instead of collecting evidence about what may be wrong with the other person if they are THE one, or how to make every relationship the relationship of your dreams.

Every relationship is a growth opportunity. It is a misstep to base relationships on their longevity potential. Many times, we get into a relationship, and right out of the gate, we put pressure on it by wondering if the other person could be the one to marry or have children with instead of considering what the other person can teach us, what mirror they may be holding up, what parental patterns, wounds, or issues are they triggering? What could you be attracted to that is also a healing opportunity?

Enjoy where you are. Be curious, explore, and take the pressure off.

Have you listened to my Coaches Corner episodes recently? Check out Byron Katie on — Loving What Is.

Consider/Ask Yourself

When you are in a new relationship do you jump to — Is this the one? — and start to analyze it all out?
Did you grow up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of emotional availability and you panic when you don’t have that in a partnership or friendship?
Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure things out and not enough time creating and exploring and allowing things just to be?
Are you more caught up in judging and changing someone else than looking at how you can meet your own needs?

Marley’s Question:

Marley is struggling with her ability to let little things go and accept her partner for where he is.

Marley’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is aware and open with her emotions.
Her boyfriend may not understand himself emotionally.
She is an old soul and emotionally mature.
She is putting a lot of pressure on the relationship.
She and her boyfriend had an intense connection immediately.
There was inconsistency in her childhood.
She believed she had to fix her family.
She feels pressure to be in a relationship.
Her boyfriend is committed to her.
She feels intimidated by his commitment.
She feels she is one-foot-in and one-foot-out of the relationship at all times.
She is collecting evidence against her boyfriend.
She doesn’t feel heard or seen by her boyfriend at times.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Explore herself within her relationship.
Stop overthinking, or overanalyzing her relationship.
Be curious about her relationship instead of managing it.
Communicate her needs in an empowered way.
Approach her boyfriend from a vulnerable place.

Takeaways:

Read or reread 20 Something, 20 Everything, and 20 Something Manifesto.

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Loving what is with Byron Katie 0

Aug 14, 2021

I am thrilled to Byron Katie whom I respect and adore so much on the show this week!

In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year spiral into depression and self-loathing, Byron Katie woke up one morning in a state of joy. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Her simple yet powerful process of self-inquiry, which she calls The Work, consists of four questions and the turnaround, which is a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe.

Katie has been bringing The Work to millions of people for more than thirty years. Her public events, weekend workshops, intensives, and nine-day School for The Work have brought freedom to people all over the world.

Her books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love—Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. For more information, visit thework.com.

Here is a to the worksheets we discussed: https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/

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EP 309: Breaking Patterns with Bree 0

Aug 11, 2021

This episode is about discerning between the patterns we can change and which are a part of us. Today’s caller, Bree, has patterns coming up when it comes to dating and finding a partner. We discuss how she can bring forth different, more feminine, parts of herself in place of her patterns. When it comes to dating, we get far more accurate information from our bodies, heart, and intuition than we do from evaluation.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode309]

At the beginning of dating, there is so much uncertainty. We don’t really know the person and we don’t know where the relationship will go. There is a lot of excitement, but there is also a lot of uncertainty. Uncertainty can be triggering for some, especially if they had instability in their childhood. Part of how the mind and psyche try to get certainty or control is through evaluation, analysis, and by trying to see into the future.

We all have an operating system. A lot of it gets programmed by our childhood, our life, our beliefs, and everything that happens in our environment and society. Then, there is just how we’re wired, our personality, our soul journey, etc. It is more important to learn to live with our wiring and find the gift within it than it is to change it.

Some things about ourselves are appropriate to change and heal but there are some things that it is best to just accept. Learning to inspire a different part of ourselves in certain situations may be the key to getting what we need.

Join me August 18, 2021, at 5 p.m. Pacific for another group coaching call. This call will focus on all things inner child. The cost is only $20 and if you cannot make it live, it will be recorded. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to sign up.

Have you listened to my Coaches Corner episodes recently? Check out Dr. Richard Schwatrz doing parts work with me here — Internal Family Systems.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you notice that sometimes when you’re in an unfamiliar situation you do things like ask a question to go to places in your head to try to get some kind of control?
Did you grow up feeling safe in a stable household?
If you are female and you orientate to being a heterosexual female when it comes to dating do you feel like you can really slip into your feminine energy? Or, if you’re in a job that requires you to be in your masculine energy is it difficult for you to make the transition?
Are you trying to change things about yourself that are part of your wiring?

Bree’s Question:

Bree feels she is ready for a long-term relationship and would like the tools to assist her in minimizing her projections when dating.

Bree’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is ready to find a long-term partner.
She is looking for someone who appreciates a rural lifestyle.
She had a volatile and unstable childhood.
Her parents were emotionally unavailable.
Her little girl is looking for the stability she never had.
She sees the pattern of her previous relationships.
She felt judged and would like the freedom to be herself.
She uses evaluation as a skill in her job.
She is a professional photographer and previously a dance instructor.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Get out of her head and into her heart.
Help her little girl feel safe.
Limit her evaluations and increase her curiosity and magnetism in dating.
Create a physical anchor and write a letter to celebrate her evaluator self.
Be aware her masculine part is hyper-developed.
Discover things that drop her into her feminine energy.
Move her body in a feminine way daily.

Takeaways:

Look at the patterns in your life without making them wrong or bad and determine how much of them are how you are wired.
Learn what parts of yourself that need to step back and which need to come forward.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Richard Schwartz 0

Aug 7, 2021

You are going to learn so much from this episode!! And get to listen to a live demo of Dr Schwartz doing parts work with me. Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called “parts.” From these explorations with parts work, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s.

IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms.

In 2013 Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where he is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

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EP 308: Taking Care of Your Parents with Tania 0

Aug 4, 2021

This episode is about grieving parents and moving through loss. Today’s caller, Tania, is a new mom who is caring for her aging father. She is struggling with making decisions that are best for everyone involved. We talk through the guilt that is influencing her decisions and how she can make self-honoring choices that are the best for everyone involved.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode308]

When it comes to making choices for someone we love it can feel hard not to let guilt or obligation be involved. When we allow guilt and obligation into our decision-making we aren’t making the choices that are truly in the highest good for everyone concerned.

Guilt and shame prevent us from being able to honor our feelings and from navigating the many different emotions, perspectives, and thoughts of being human and going through life-changing experiences, and dealing with family members and people who are sick or difficult. It is OK to choose something that may feel selfish but is self-honoring and in the best interest of everyone involved.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach when making big decisions like what to do with an aging parent. You have to tune in and make a decision from love, not guilt about what is best for everyone involved.

When we hang on to someone, it can create an energetic obligation for them to stay longer. There are two deaths we have to grieve for our parents. The physical death and the death of the ideal. When we allow ourselves to grieve, our heart breaks open so healing can begin.

Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I’ll choose the winner in the first week of August.

We are opening up enrollment for the March 2022 session of our Elementum Coaching Institute. This early-bird pricing opportunity gives your $2,500 off tuition. Our first class sold out in two weeks, so secure your spot today.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you like to have control? Would you rather have control than massive uncertainty? Do you do better in the known rather than the unknown?
Do you deal with guilt if you’re not doing what you think you’re supposed to be doing or taking care of people in the way that you’re supposed to?
Have you lost a parent or are you on the brink of losing a parent?
Do you struggle with what’s the right thing to do when it comes to you caring for your parents?

Tania’s Question:

Tania is feeling anxious about how she will manage caring for her father and managing her life.

Tania’s Key Insights and Ahas:

After an accident, her 80-year-old father can no longer take care of himself.
Her mother passed 13 years ago.
She and her brother are caring for their father.
She has a baby and a full-time job.
She had to take medical time off from work.
She feels guilty and is starting to grieve for her father.
She is frightened when she thinks of her father’s passing.
She holds on to an image of what she thought her future would be.
She is finding the role reversal difficult.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Realize it is okay to be feeling what she is feeling.
Allow herself to start letting go and grieve her father.
Release her attachment to what she thinks “should” be.
Find a way to get outside help for her father.
Give energetic permission to her father to transition when it is his time.
Her body and nervous system have been in overdrive.

Takeaways:

Don’t wait to grieve until someone dies. Allow yourself to have the feelings and start the process before a loved one transitions.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Healing through Energetic Osteopathy with Dr. Jess Bell 0

Jul 31, 2021

Jess Bell, D.O. is an Osteopathic Physician – board-certified in both Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation and Neuromusculoskeletal Medicine – and Energy Healer.

Dr. Jess is the founder of Energetic Osteopathy™, which is a powerful modality that bridges traditional osteopathic treatment and energy medicine. What makes Energetic Osteopathy™ unique from other energy healing modalities such as Reiki, is that the treatment takes place with great specificity within the tissues of the body.

As an osteopathic physician with over twenty years of hands-on treatment experience, Dr. Jess “sees” into the body with great clarity. This inner sight allows for the transformational release of even the most difficult to locate energetic densities out of the physical body, returning the body to health and wholeness.

It is essential that we recover the often forgotten truth that healing comes from within, and it is Dr. Jess's greatest intention to offer this healing and guidance with easy-to-apply information, treatment, and self-healing practices.

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EP 307: Fix Your Broken Heart Instead of Trying to Fix a Broken Relationship with Sarah 0

Jul 28, 2021

This episode is about looking inside and healing unresolved issues. Today’s caller, Sarah, went through a breakup and is having a hard time letting it go. We work through how when we don’t have our needs met as children we may fumble with our needs as an adult. If you are not going through a breakup right now you will relate to this conversation if you have ever tried to fix something in your life that was not working.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode307]

Often, we attempt to work out our childhood wounds through dating and relationships. Unconsciously, we look for someone like mom or dad and think — oh this feels familiar. And, we confuse familiarity for love. But they are not the same thing. That is why we sometimes feel scared to do unfamiliar things. Because we confuse unfamiliarity with not being safe.

We try to heal our childhood by drawing in people who remind us of it. This creates issue-based relationships that become addictive. We are looking for a relationship to fix the issue rather than doing self-honoring, internal work. When we do the work we avoid attracting those kinds of relationships in the first place.

Sometimes we have the expectation that we have to have a certain personality or be a certain way. When we are in our pain, we do not like the pain and we don’t like ourselves in the pain. And, judgment of ourselves and our process only slows us down. It makes things worse. Healing happens when we accept the phase we are in.

In a relationship, we all need total honesty, trust, loyalty, intimacy, and someone to hear us and see us without gas-lighting us.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you have a hard time letting go of things even when you know you’re supposed to but you just can’t seem to let go?
Did you grow up in a house where you didn’t feel securely attached? Maybe your parents were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or there was chaos in your house?
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like the situation itself makes you needier? You look at a relationship, career, or friendship and don’t even recognize yourself because of some of your behaviors.
Do you feel like you have done a lot of work and you have a lot of awareness but you find yourself in the same position over and over?

Sarah’s Question:

Sarah is having difficulty letting go of a relationship and feels like she should be doing better.

Sarah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her breakup happened three weeks ago.
She is setting unrealistic expectations.
She felt insecure in the relationship.
She is grasping for the relationship.
Her parents did not meet her needs as a child.
She didn’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
She did not feel enough as a child.
She’s done a lot of work and is aware of her parents’ shortcomings.
She continues to repeat past patterns.
She is holding anger and resentment toward her parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Grieve the death of what she wanted her parents to be.
Allow little Sarah to express her hurt and anger.
Ask the universe for the resources to help her heal.
Realize the relationship came in because she is ready to go deeper.

Takeaways:

Go back to the little girl, little boy, or little one inside and allow yourself to get super clear about what you wanted from your parents that you never got and that you are more than likely never ever going to get and allow yourself to grieve it.
Let go of trying to fix a relationship, the way you look, a job, or a friendship. Stop looking out and look in. That is always where the healing is.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Money Magic with Michelle Masters 0

Jul 24, 2021

Internationally bestselling author Michelle Masters has been a Personal Development Trainer and Coach since 1995. Michelle’s work is an innovative use of Neuro-Science based change techniques, Family Constellation work, and quantum healing modalities combined with profound understandings of what creates transformation and lasting change for people.
Her hugely popular Money Magic workshop has helped people all over the world to transform their lives and money.

Learn more here: https://michellemastersnlp.com/

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EP 306: Why You Feel Rejected with Claudia 0

Jul 21, 2021

This episode is about rejection. Today’s caller, Claudia, experiences sadness when she feels rejected. We talk through her feelings of rejection and uncover them to be something she did not connect until this session. If you have a pattern of feeling rejected you will benefit from listening to this episode.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode306]

Many times sweet people, or big feelers, people who are more comfortable in sadness than in anger, hold stuff inside rather than confronting others.

Anytime we feel rejected, even as a child, there is a part of us that is really pissed off. We get angry when we are rejected but, many times because the hurt is so big we want to figure it out. The mind can’t figure out why a parent would ever reject us. No child can figure it out. A child can’t work through the understanding that a parent has their own issues. So we end up resenting the people who reject us.

Energetically if you walk around as a wounded child who was rejected it will be hard to pull in a person or match who fully sees you. But, by taking your power back, it will open up space in your life. When you have resentments in your heart it is hard for people to get in. They don’t want to be someone else you resent. Carrying around resentments can push people away.

As long as there is a part of you who hasn’t forgiven your family of origin, for being rejected, you will feel resentment. Forgiveness is not condoning, it is letting go of the judgment.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you ever feel rejected? And, no matter what you do you can’t seem to get over the pattern of rejection?
How are you with anger? Are you someone who can handle sadness but when it comes to anger, that’s a different story?
Do you ever feel people don’t choose you because of who you are and you constantly try to be someone you are not?
Do you ever feel like you’re rejected because other people feel jealous of you?

Claudia’s Question:

Claudia feels rejected when people are afraid to get close to her and jealous of her.

Claudia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She recently went through a breakup.
She says men are attracted to her energy but afraid of her leadership.
She feels women are jealous of her.
She feels rejected.
She repeats patterns of not being enough and not feeling seen.
She retreats rather than confronting others.
A family member rejected her.
She feels sadness more than anger.
She tried very hard to be seen as a child.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find people who are in alignment with her.
Deal with the anger she feels about being rejected.
Forgive herself for the beliefs that perpetuate the lens of rejection and resentment.
Do not make herself wrong or dim her light.
Give little Claudia a voice and allow her to be mad or angry.

Takeaways:

If you deal with resentment, look at where you feel sad and rejected.
If you deal with a lot of rejection, look at where you may feel resentful.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: The Five Personality Patterns with Steven Kessler 0

Jul 17, 2021

Steven Kessler has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 30 years, teaching both locally and internationally. He is a certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Expert and Trainer, and is the bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and communicating with them effectively. More information and descriptions of the patterns are available at www.The5PersonalityPatterns.com. Steven loves teaching and helping people grow. He can be reached at Steven@The5PersonalityPatterns.com

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EP 305: You Can’t Truly Help Others Unless You Help Yourself with Carrisa 0

Jul 14, 2021

This episode is about acquiring a healthy relationship between giving and receiving. Today’s caller, Carrisa, gives to everyone except herself. We talk through ways she can fill her cup before helping others, how to shed the imposter syndrome, and the importance of committing to her inner child.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode305]

We cannot give and give and then expect to feel great. It is beautiful to help people but from a full cup. Otherwise, we deplete ourselves and try to make ourselves feel better through others. It does not work. Anyone who gives and gives and gives to others but does not give to themselves will not feel worthy. People-pleasers, over-givers, and martyrs never feel worthy because they give so much.

You have to be able to receive from yourself and others to feel worthy. You can help and give but you need to be supported as well.

When you have healthy boundaries, a lot of support, and are checking in with your inner child you can help and serve others from a full cup. You won’t feel like an imposter because you will be practicing what you preach.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you have resistance or laziness that comes out when it comes to doing things that are just for you or doing things that are outside the realm of your normal day-to-day activities?
Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel seen?
Do you often dread doing something because you’re afraid you’re going to disappoint other people?
When it comes to serving others, are you doing it because it makes you feel good or because that’s the way you love yourself?

Carrisa’s Question:

Carrisa is uncertain of whether her feelings are intuition or conditioning and why she feels resistance.

Carrisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She worries about affecting the people around her.
She is a people-pleaser with hints of a savior complex.
Her childhood home was chaotic and she felt invisible as the 6th child of 7 children.
She judges herself for being lazy and being resistant.
She tends to go with the flow.
She understands herself but puts herself last.
She feels complacent in her marriage.
She hasn’t taken a lot of time for herself.
She wants to integrate her passion into her massage therapy work.
She feels like an imposter when it comes to coaching.
She is imbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be her own client and keep an observation journal about her boundaries and her decisions.
Listen to her alarm systems and check in with little Carrisa.
Color with little Carissa 15-minutes a day.
Have conscious conversations with her husband about co-parenting.
Stop trying to heal herself by helping others.

Takeaways:

Become your own client. Instead of judging and analyzing yourself, observe yourself neutrally.
Connect with your inner child and make them a commitment in your life.
Stop people-pleasing and make yourself a priority.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services