Over It And On With It

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CC: Money & Love - How to Deal with Finances in Relationships with Ramit Sethi 0

Dec 24, 2022

Ramit Sethi is the NYT best selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich and host of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast where he speaks directly with couples about how to build a better relationship with money and with each other.

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EP 380: Finding Joy in Times of Grief with Kate 0

Dec 21, 2022

This episode is about honoring lost loved ones and loving our way through grief. Today’s caller, Kate, is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her mother. Christine offers comfort and ways she can feel joy alongside the tears by doing things in a way that honors the beautiful memories of her mother.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode380]

In this crazy ride of a life, there are times of unbelievable joy, heart-bursting gratitude, and sometimes heart-wrenching grief. These are all aspects of love. Yet, none of us live forever, and we are all going to lose people we love.

Loss is one of the hardest things we encounter in the human experience. We don’t get out of this world without suffering. But, if we see grief and loss as part of love and we can see our grief as an expression of love, then it helps us have the courage to actually feel our way through it.

It is helpful to be honest about our feelings and not worry about drowning in them but rather be intentional about welcoming our feelings and know that we have a life preserver and will not drown. We are more likely to drown in feelings we suppress than in feelings we allow.

The beautiful and difficult thing about the human experience is that we feel deeply, especially if we’ve shifted ourselves out of patterns of suppression, distraction, repression, and numbing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you lost someone or something recently and you are afraid to dive into your grief because you don’t know how deep it will go?
Do you have a parent that is on the other side and you’d like to cultivate a relationship with them or do things in their honor?
Are you saving things or not doing things in your life and grief could be an inspiration to do them?
Are you willing to open your heart fully to love even if that means losing?

Kate’s Question:

As the holidays approach, Kate is grieving over the loss of her mother. She is searching for guidance on how to handle her grief.

Kate’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her mother passed away after a battle with cancer.
She is in her early 20s.
She and her mother bonded over gardening.
People are offering condolences and advice on how to get over her grief.
She is an only child.
Her mother wants her to be happy.
She finds solace in her partner and her puppy.
She finds it beneficial to talk with her therapist.
Her mother taught her about kindness and love.
She finds it difficult to reach out for support from her family.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Know that her mother will forever be in her heart.
Live and do things in a way that will honor her mother, like making her favorite tea.
Find joy in her memories and find joy alongside the tears and the loss.
She is doing a great job of taking care of herself.
Reach out to family members for support.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Make Relationships Better with John Kim 0

Dec 17, 2022

John Kim, LMFT, also known as the Angry Therapist pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. John and his partner, Vanessa, live together in Los Angeles with their daughter. Together, they co-authored the book IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU: Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better .

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EP 379: How to Change When You Are Scared of Change with Toni 0

Dec 14, 2022

This episode is about making the changes we know we need to make. Today’s caller, Toni, has done personal development work but still feels stuck in her relationship. Christine explores the possibility that Toni knows the changes she needs to make but is letting the fear of change hold her back from taking action.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode379]

Remember not to judge progress by external shifts. While external shifts are important it takes time for things to shift. Often, the season we are in is the awareness or the processing. We need to work our way up to making a change. But, eventually, we do have to make the change. Because awareness isn’t enough.

Integration and true transformation only happen when we change behavior. It doesn’t matter how much processing we do or how much information we have. The process of true transformation requires making big changes.

In life, if we could just connect the dots and things would change, life would be easy. It doesn’t work that way, for things to change we often have to take bold action.

Often, we know the changes we need to make but we don’t want to make them.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a situation you know needs to change but you just are terrified of making the change? Have you done all the work but still feel stuck?
Do you relate to being a people pleaser and a caregiver and you feel great in the role of taking care of others but no one’s taking care of you?

Toni’s Question:

Toni is feeling stuck in her relationship and is looking for guidance on how to make a change.

Toni’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She does personal development work but something isn’t shifting.
Her five-year relationship is issue-based.
Her partner may be emotionally unavailable.
She feels her relationship may not go the distance.
She had instability in her childhood.
She wanted safety and security from her father but didn’t receive them.
She cared for her father during his alcoholism until his passing.
She is a caretaker in all of her relationships.
Awareness has become her safety and security.
The only way she has gotten love is by taking care of others.
When she gets overwhelmed she shuts down.
She is afraid to leave her relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge and celebrate shifts she has experienced.
Make some big, scary changes.
Leave the relationship.
Stop using fear to not make a change.
Get support through a coach, therapist, accountability partner, or friend.

Takeaways:

Where are you stuck because you aren’t taking a step forward?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

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CC: It's That Time of the Year...Time to Set (and Uphold!) Boundaries 0

Dec 10, 2022

It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries.

But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving?

These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

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EP 378: How to Parent When Your Inner Child is Still Traumatized with Nicole 0

Dec 7, 2022

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today’s caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378]

Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven’t ever transformed. It’s a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we’ve distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven’t really, truly taken care of ourselves.

Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren’t living to our fullest potential. The deepest level of contentment that we can access is limited because so much of our energy is spent on managing what we’ve never truly transformed. To get to where we want to go in life, we have to transform and that requires healing on deeper levels. There is nothing that can catalyze that like having children.

Children often bring forward the things that we have swept under the rug. They force us to look at ourselves. They trigger us. They are the perfect teachers because we love them so much and we don’t want to pass on our pain and trauma to them. We want to transform. but we don’t know how because our inner child is still wounded; we haven’t healed our traumas from our childhoods.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a parent and do you sometimes question your parenting?
Do you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and has being a parent activated it, or if you’re not a parent, do you know you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and you’re not sure what to do with it?
Do you just feel too busy, or that there is too much going on in your life to deal with any of your trauma or do any healing?

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole is triggered by her child and would like guidance navigating her parenting journey while healing her trauma.

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has food insecurity issues.
She has child abuse, neglect, and abandonment traumas from her childhood.
She isn’t in contact with her family.
She feels she has to run the family and home by herself.
She feels stuck in her relationship.
Her nervous system is deregulated and in survival mode.
She feels anxious and overwhelmed.
She is unpredictable and inconsistent based on her trauma.
She feels she doesn’t deserve her daughter.
Her daughter was abused by someone close.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Make time for herself to heal her trauma.
Regulate her nervous system daily by humming and taking deep breaths.
Make a place for her daughter to have a temper tantrum.
Be present with her daughter.

Takeaways:

What are the things you can do daily to regulate your nervous system?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: My Birth Story 0

Dec 3, 2022

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

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EP 377: How Your Self-Worth Impacts Your Net Worth with Rich 0

Nov 30, 2022

This episode is about being open to opportunities by eliminating the walls we have up. Today’s caller, Rich, feels blocked in building his coaching practice but the session is not so much about building his coaching practice but about him becoming his own best client because his biggest blocks are his own beliefs and unresolved hurts.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode377]

We are told many things in our lives. Some of those things are not always positive. We tend to take on criticism much more than the compliments and acknowledgments we were given. Especially if that criticism came from a parent or any authority figure. Those criticisms from our past repeat like a broken record in our heads and impact our future. So, instead of living the life we want, we keep listening to the old story.

Whose voice is in your head that you have adopted as your own? It is time to give that voice back and not allow it to define you.

How we do anything is how we do everything. Many times we try to change our external circumstances thinking that a new job or new relationship will change the patterns and programming of things we don’t like. But, if how we do anything is how we do everything, then we just apply the same patterning and programming to the next thing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you suffering because you cannot identify your purpose?
Is there a person in your life who is struggling to find their purpose? Do you push them to find their purpose or try to find it for them?
Do you feel worthy and deserving inside? And, how does your self-confidence, or lack thereof, impact your results?
Is someone else’s voice inside your head? Do you need to banish it?

Rich’s Question:

Rich would like to know how to get over his fear and anxiety to follow through with his goal of becoming a coach. He wants to overcome his limiting beliefs from his past, which may be blocking his future success.

Rich’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He was providing his coaching services for free.
He feels friends and family are expecting more of him.
He is getting married soon.
He suffers from social anxiety and has a hard time focusing.
He meditates and exercises to deal with his anxiety.
He has a mission to make an emotional impact on people’s lives.
He was criticized as a child by his stepfather.
He struggles with self-worth and fears failure.
He is a sensitive creative.
He has done work around self-compassion.
He is not sure of the source of his resistance.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do emotional healing and forgive himself for buying into the misunderstanding that he is not worthy.
Realize the way he is treating himself is how his stepfather treated him.
Treat himself like he treats his clients.
Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to release his anger.
Consider what makes him authentic and worthy.
Design a program for himself and become his best client.

Takeaways:

Write down your limiting beliefs and figure out who owns the voice.
Move into compassion for anyone who programmed your thoughts.
Write a letter to give an unwelcome belief back to the person who gave it to you.
Be honest about the emotional walls you have put up and be committed to taking them down.
Set up two chairs and carry out your own therapy session.

Sponsor:

Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to get an Air Doctor today go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 35% off on selected models.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 376: Their Story: Part 3 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Claire & Jimmy 0

Nov 23, 2022

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today’s call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376]

If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more.

It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner’s wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It’s not to tolerate toxic behavior but to adjust our behavior and our request to show we are empathetic and understanding of who our partner is.

The process of relationship is to continue to work on ourselves, work out our own triggers, and move toward our partner. Every relationship takes comprise. Love is a verb, not just the words.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you in a relationship and you keep looping on the same argument over and over again?
Do you have a sense that the argument, the disagreement, or the trigger you’re having could be linked to a deeper issue?
Are you willing to compromise in your relationship or do you just want it your way?
Are you ignoring the ways your partner does love you and does show up for you because it is not exactly the way you want it?

Claire & Jimmy’s Question:

Claire & Jimmy together.

Claire & Jimmy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Claire triggers Jimmy to put his walls up and he shuts down.
Jimmy’s version of being committed doesn’t match up with Claire’s.
Claire is yearning to have Jimmy all-in, in the relationship.
Intimacy is scary for Jimmy.
They are helping each other heal.
Claire is scared she can’t get her needs met in their relationship.
They both realize they need to make some changes.
Jimmy is sensitive to disappointing people and timid about the level of commitment Claire wants.
They have a coffee date, meditate together, and relax in the hot tub at night.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Claire can acknowledge all the things Jimmy is doing right.
Every night, Jimmy can tell Claire why he loves her.
Claire can give Jimmy time to feel safer in the relationship.
Show a greater level of empathy and understanding to each other.
Jimmy can talk to Claire with the kindness and compassion he shows his daughters.
Claire can have compassion for Jimmy as he is trying to figure things out.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Grief and Post Traumatic Growth with Krista St-Germain 0

Nov 19, 2022

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too.

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EP 375: His Story: Part 2 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Jimmy 0

Nov 16, 2022

This episode is the second of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, with Jimmy, she explores the things from his childhood that may make commitment a bit hard for him.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode375]

It is okay if we have conflict. It is okay if plans need to be rearranged. It is okay if you unintentionally disappoint someone. There is a difference between promising someone you will be somewhere and not showing up versus having to renegotiate an agreement.

It is reframing conflict into clarification. Because not every situation, conversation, or engagement with someone that we think is going to be stressful is. If we go in thinking something is going to be confrontational, that the other person is going to be upset, or that it is not going to go well, we limit the possibilities. But if we go in seeking clarification, or as a renegotiation of a commitment, then it becomes an entirely different conversation.

When we find a safe space on our own, we don’t necessarily default to an avoidant attachment style, although it can happen. What we default to is that it is safer on our own. Intimacy or really committing to making plans is challenging. If we add in that we don’t want to disappoint anyone as a sort of reason or even a subconscious excuse not to make plans, not to get closer, then we have a great wall of protection built around us. It can prevent us from going to deeper levels of intimacy with others.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you sometimes commitment-phobic?
Do you love the idea of plans but when it comes to making them, it’s hard, or wish your partner would make plans and you don’t understand why they don’t?
Do you relate to being a lone wolf and find it hard to be in relationship because you sometimes do better on your own? And, although you want love, commitment, and relationship, at the same time you don’t want to disappoint anyone?
Do you not do things for fear of disappointing people but then you end up disappointing them anyway?

Jimmy’s Question:

Jimmy wonders if there isn’t more at play when he and Claire struggle with planning things together.

Jimmy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

When he gets pressed or pushed he feels blocked and withdraws.
He is worried his responsibilities hinder him from showing up responsibly.
He fears letting Claire down.
He is taking steps to adjust his work calendar.
His schedule to see his children is fluid.
It is important that he shows up responsibly for work.
His father wasn’t present for him in childhood.
He wants to show up for his daughters.
He has a pattern of avoiding conflict.
He wants harmony in his life.
At 14, he helped parent his siblings and worked outside of the home.
He didn’t have anyone looking out for him growing up.
He enjoys being committed but not committed.
He likes to be spontaneous.
He can see why Claire feels the way she does.
He is scared of intimacy.
His identity, confidence, and worth are tied to his work.
He has an opportunity for intimacy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Reframe how he thinks about conflict.
Think about renegotiating plans as clarifying conversations.
Ask 14-year-old Jimmy what he is scared of.
Consider what kind of relationship he desires.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: How Do Make and Keep Friends with Dr. Marisa G. Franco 0

Nov 12, 2022

An enlightening psychologist and national speaker, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and her forthcoming book Platonic: How The Science of AttachmentCan Help You Make—and Keep—Friends debuts with Penguin Random House in September 2022. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging across the country.

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EP 374: Her Story: Part 1 of a three-part Couples Coaching Series with Claire 0

Nov 9, 2022

This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire’s current relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode374]

When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past.

Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating.

When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more clarity about issues in our relationships. We can’t work on issues in our relationships without working on ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there a constant pattern in your relationship you can’t seem to shift?
Do you and your partner argue about the same issues over and over?
Do you have an unmet need from a parent that is showing up in your relationship?
Are you willing to see your partner in a different light? Are you willing to see your partner for who they are, right here, right now?

Claire’s Question:

Claire would like guidance about how she can feel like a priority in her partner’s life.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her childhood wound is abandonment.
She doesn’t feel like a priority in Jimmy’s life.
When she feels seen by Jimmy she feels empowered in the relationship.
She has different patterns than Jimmy.
She has been married before.
Her father wasn’t present every day in her childhood.
She is attached to planning and doing things.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Practice connection and intimacy with Jimmy in everyday life.
Remind her inner child that Jimmy isn’t her Dad and she can get love whenever she wants.
Let go of planning for a while to accept love in the here and now.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What is Breath Work, Who is it For and How Does it Help? 0

Nov 5, 2022

Christine's husband Stef who is a breathwork facilitator joins her to talk about the incredibly powerful modality of breathwork. Learn more about what breathwork is and how it may help you to tap into deeper levels of healing and freedom.

If you want to join Stef and Christine for their next breathwork event, go here: https://stefanossifandos.com/feminine/

And if you are interested in their breathwork and meditation program, go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork

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EP 373: Listening to Your Gut Even When Other People Disagree with Hannah 0

Nov 2, 2022

This episode is about trusting our intuition and keeping others’ voices out of our heads. Today’s caller, Hannah, has made a clear decision to do something for herself. Yet, doubts are creeping in due to the opinions of others. If you have a gut feeling about something and other people are doubting you or you want to get to the place where you can trust your own inner knowing, this call will be extremely helpful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode373]

You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. If your decisions directly impact others, then a discussion is necessary. But, when you make personal decisions that only impact you, it is nobody else’s business but yours.

And on the flip side, we need to respect other people’s choices even if we wouldn’t make the same ones.

When people are not respecting our boundaries, it is imperative we create a distance from them. And, just because someone is a family member, doesn’t give them the right to have unlimited opinions about our lives and to know everything about us. Other people’s voices should not be louder than our own intuition.

Join Stefanos live for Breathwork for the Feminine. It is designed for women only. Stefanos leads the breathwork and then he and Christine both do coaching and processing afterward. Join them live in Austin on November 7th, 2022, from 6‒9 CST, or join virtually — Go to Stefanossifandos.com/feminine to register.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you recently made a decision that others are doubting and you wonder if you should be doubting it yourself?
Do you have a habit of people-pleasing, being a chameleon, or going against what you want?
Do you doubt that you have intuition and don’t know how to connect to it?
Do you need to have stronger boundaries with certain people in your life?

Hannah’s Question:

Hannah is on the brink of a scheduled surgery. She knows this is the right choice for her but would like clarity about the pressure she feels.

Hannah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She’s never wanted children.
She has a tubal ligation procedure scheduled.
Her inner voice is telling her she is broken.
She’s done personal development work for some time.
She is the only child in her family who isn’t married or doesn’t want children.
Having the procedure feels self-honoring.
Others around her question her judgment.
She struggles when making decisions for herself.
She feels pressure about not having rights over her body.
She felt a sense of relief after making a decision.
This may be the first decision she has made based on what she wants.
She is a people-pleaser.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Make choices without checking in with others.
Stop putting her needs aside in favor of the needs of others.
Practice making quicker decisions and go with her gut.

Takeaways:

Stay out of other people’s business.
Keep others out of your business.
Listen to your gut.
Don’t let people’s voices be louder than your own voice.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: A Loving Reminder from Christine 0

Oct 29, 2022

Have you forgotten who you truly are? Are you caught up in some self-doubt, guilt, loneliness, sadness or disappointment? Could you use a reminder of how lovable you are? Then don't miss this episode where Christine speaks straight to your heart.

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EP 372: How to Love Yourself Without Ever Being Taught What Love Really Is with Jada 0

Oct 26, 2022

This episode is about how loving actions help us heal. Today’s caller, Jada, was never shown love in childhood and wants to know how she can learn to love herself. When we don’t have loving stable parenting, we are at a disadvantage. But, people who have had a disadvantaged childhood and have done the work to heal it, find a force, love, and momentum that is unstoppable.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode372]

Growing up without a role model for what love feels like is akin to growing up in a house with only one language. Would you expect yourself to speak another language naturally? Would it just appear in your brain? No. When we don’t have models for what love is, it is hard to access love; it is hard to know what true healthy love is without other people. It makes it hard to access self-love as well.

When something bad happens, many people say that the experience has made them stronger and more resilient. But what that translates to is the experiences they endured created walls to protect their heart so they never really let love in because they are scared to death of being hurt again. For many people who had difficult childhoods, there is a lot of anger and grief they never got to feel.

When we are healing trauma it is not about going back and reliving the experience. It’s about giving ourselves the voice we never had. When looking at self-love, we have to take actions that signify self-care and actions that signify that we are being good to ourselves. That is the first step in learning how to love ourselves.

Love is a feeling that we can access through actions.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you want to love yourself but you are not sure how?
Did you have a traumatic childhood full of chaos and without a role model of love?
Do you question if you will get over your past?
Could it be possible that you are doing loving things but you don't even know it?

Jada’s Question:

Jada grew up without a role model of what love is and would like guidance on how to find genuine self-love.

Jada’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels anxiety when telling her story.
She was abused and didn’t have love in her childhood.
She feels unworthy and undeserving of love.
She wants to turn her memories into something else.
She has done self-work for three years.
She is repressing anger.
She wants love and support.
Her inner child craves unconditional love.
She recognizes how her lack of self-love shows up in her life.
She is tired of how her childhood has affected her.
She does not go into victim.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Discontinue trying to find beauty in the trauma.
Take the time to process her emotions.
Recognize that love; she may not know how to feel self-love but she knows what loving actions are.
Give herself credit for how far she’s come.
Know that as she continues on this healing path she will propel forward.
Find a seasoned therapist so she doesn’t have to do healing alone.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 371: How to Move Into Acceptance Even If You Don’t Like What is Happening with Lindsey 0

Oct 19, 2022

This episode is about accepting where we are in life and enjoying it to the fullest. Today’s caller, Lindsey, has wanted to find a partner to share her life with for a long time. She has done personal development work but still believes she needs to fix herself before calling in a partner. We work through ways she can trust life, trust divine timing, and enjoy her life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode371]

When we have hindsight, it is easy to move into acceptance. We look back and consider that something happened for a reason it makes it easier to accept. When we have to accept something, or we choose to accept something that isn’t what we want, that is when the real spiritual ninja work comes in.

The constant trying to figure out why — which is something we all do to some degree — we don’t have something we want or something in our life isn’t working. We pick ourselves apart with a fine-toothed comb trying to find the reason. Because if we find the reason, it gives us control and then we can do something to solve it. It is a pattern of constantly looking.

Acceptance is when we move into the peace of what is. It is when we stop wishing for something to be different or when we have feelings about circumstances not being what we want, we don’t bypass them. Resignation is when we give up. Acceptance has relief energy. When we surrender we can be open to something shifting.

When we move into full acceptance of who we are and where we are in our lives, the acceptance keeps us in the energetic of love and shifts what we are broadcasting.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there something you want badly and think you will be happier when you get it?
Are you single and don’t want to be single but you can’t move into acceptance of it?
Have you done work to change an issue or circumstance but it isn’t shifting and you keep trying?
Do you believe your life would be better if you had something you don’t?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey has been single for most of her life and would like guidance on how to call in a partner.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has been single for 10+ years but wants to call in a partner.
She is an adventurous woman in life and work.
She has a belief that men find her good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date.
She believes she would be better in a relationship.
She is sad because she doesn’t have a partner.
She feels she has no control over finding a partner and pities herself.
She feels looked over by the people in her life.
She has limiting beliefs about herself.
She is constantly doing to not think about the uncertainty of life.
She believes that if she doesn’t work hard to get something she won’t get it.
She is incorporating practices to keep herself present.
She surrenders in water and with music.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Accept where she is right now.
Move toward acceptance and let go of wanting something else.
Make a playlist of songs that make her love her life in the now.
Stop herself from going down a spiral.
Stop trying to fix something that isn’t broken.
Trust life and trust divine timing.

Takeaways:

You can’t always get what you want but you can get what you need. If we can move into acceptance of wherever we are or are not, we have more enjoyment and freedom in our life.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Reprogramming and Breaking your Circuits 0

Oct 15, 2022

If you feel like you have done lots of personal development work yet certain patterns or issues keep coming back, then don't miss this episode! Christine explains why you must plant flowers after you weed your consciousness and break circuits that are currently running your mental programming.

Download this Episode

EP 370: How to Access Your Sensuality with Amanda 0

Oct 12, 2022

This episode is about the protective patterns we create when we don’t feel safe. Today’s caller, Amanda, says she wants guidance on how to access her sensuality but the core issue is truly about how she can feel safe and be vulnerable. We can’t feel safe in our sexuality or sensuality unless we feel safe in our vulnerability.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode370]

When women don’t feel safe in their bodies we tend to go into our heads. We talk, talk, talk, and don’t notice what is going on in our bodies. As human beings, we are a combination of doing and being, flowing and going, masculine and feminine, sensual and productive, right and left. So, one of our biggest turn-ons is safety. If we feel safe, we can let go. If we don’t feel safe, forget about it. We need to learn that it is safe to feel and to be emotionally vulnerable.

When we attempt to make changes while in frustration, it is important to shift into vulnerability and full self-expression. We need to accept all aspects of ourselves. Sensuality can feel scary because it feels out of control when we keep our safe place in our heads.

When we don’t feel safe, we have protective patterns that frustrate us. We judge the patterns and try to change them. But, nothing heals judgment. The first step of healing is to love, accept, and thank the pattern for protecting us.

If you don’t feel safe expressing yourself emotionally, you won’t feel safe expressing yourself sensually and sexually. When an expression is muted, all expressions are muted.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel blocked from your sensuality? Would you like to be more expressed in your life, especially sexually?
Did you have the space to be expressed as a child? Was vulnerability encouraged in your house or did you have to hide or numb your feelings or deal with them on your own?
Are you in a relationship and feel inhibited with your own partner?
Do people in your life give you feedback that they would like to be closer to you? Do you feel your relationships could be deeper but you are scared to go there?

Amanda’s Question:

Amanda feels shame and guilt when it comes to sensuality and would like guidance on how to embody her sexuality without guilt and to feel good.

Amanda’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She will be 40 this year.
She is in a loving, committed relationship.
As a child, she was raised Christian and was taught to believe that “good girls don’t” do certain things.
She wants to let go of things that don’t serve her.
She feels awkward when expressing her sensual self.
Feeling uncomfortable and numb stems from her childhood.
She doesn’t feel safe being vulnerable.
People care about her and want to be honest with her.
She wants to break the pattern.
She commits to being in her body and creating opportunities to be emotionally vulnerable.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Remind herself that it is safe to feel.
Feel her discomfort but also feel she is safe.
Practice vulnerability.
Write three questions to evoke emotional vulnerability.
Recreate an opportunity to be fully expressed.
Forgive herself for judging herself and being hard on herself.

Takeaways:

If you want to be more sensually or sexually expressed, look at how emotionally expressed you are.
Do you make safe spaces for your sensuality?

Sponsors:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 369: How to Deal with Those Things You Really Don’t Like About Your Partner with Daria 0

Oct 5, 2022

This episode is about upper limiting and discerning deal breakers versus growth opportunities in relationships. Everything seems to be finally working out for today’s caller, Daria, but she is having difficulty accepting it and her fiance. She asks for guidance on how to break existing patterns to make sure she doesn’t self-sabotage herself or her relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode369]

It is very common that once we start to get the things we want, we start to wonder if we deserve them and if they are fleeting. We often have unexpected feelings when things start to go well.

When the hormones and infatuation of a new relationship wear off, in the realness of a relationship, there may be things about our partner that we don’t like. In most relationships, there are things about our partners we just don’t like and that we want to change. These things fall into several categories but more definitive would be to think of them as deal breakers or growth opportunities.

There are some things about our partner that we need to decide if it is truly annoying or not. Focusing on what we love about our partners and accepting them for who they are can go a long way. We can choose to focus on the great things about our partners.

When we want to request a change of behavior from our partner, they must feel safe in the relationship.

My Women’s Retreat is this weekend, October 7‒9, 2022 in Austin. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this gentle and nourishing life-changing opportunity. Whatever your issue or concern there is a place for you.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you sure about your relationship? You don’t have doubts but there are some things about your partner you wish they would change.
Do you tend to have high standards and wonder if you are settling?
Are you good at communicating what you need in a relationship? Or, maybe you are not as good at it as you think you are?
Are you willing to be the change you want to see in the relationship?

Daria’s Question:

Daria is feeling a sudden change of feelings toward her fiance and would like guidance to ensure she doesn’t self-sabotage.

Daria’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is upper limiting herself.
She discovered her ex-husband deceived her.
Her upbringing drastically changed when her mother got sick.
She loves her fiance.
She feels herself pulling away from her partner.
She wishes he could be more of a grownup with her.
She feels comfortable asking for things from him but feels she has to do it constantly.
She loves his sense of playfulness and is a good friend to people.
She is not sure when she is trying to change her partner or change the things he does.
She is trying to learn how to deal with him and her feelings.
Her relationship feels lopsided.
She wants to make the relationship work.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Read The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks.
Get turned on by the things she loves about her partner.
Realize her fiance feels her come-and-go energy and it can make him feel unsafe.
To break her pattern, consider when and how she can lean into how much she loves him.
Trust life and know that it is safe to be happy.

Takeaways:

Experiment with a person who annoys you. For one week, choose to only recognize the amazing things you like about them.

Sponsors:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How To Be Loving with Danielle LaPorte 0

Oct 1, 2022

Author, speaker, teacher and force of love Danielle LaPorte joins Christine to dive deep into inner child work, forgiveness, radiance, choosing higher quality thoughts and so much more.

Make sure to get her new book How To Be Loving: As Your Heart is Breaking Open and Our
World is Waking Up which is a nuanced perspective on the life-changing power of
Self Compassion, shadow work and being more receptive
to Higher Guidance. This is a guide on how to use the
genius of your heart to create conditions for healing.

Learn more at https://daniellelaporte.com/

Download this Episode

EP 368: Owning How You May Have Hurt or Traumatized Your Children as the Parent with Carrie 0

Sep 28, 2022

This episode is about being the parent you always wanted and wanted to be. Today’s caller, Carrie, wants to repair a strained relationship with her children. She feels shame about her past behaviors and wants guidance on how to build a connection with them and their children. There is a lot of vulnerability and courage in this honest conversation.

It can be scary to be a generational pattern breaker and it takes a lot of courage to follow through but it can transform our relationships.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode368]

Many parents carry around a silent shame about some of the choices they made as parents. Parenting is hard. It doesn’t come with a manual. Creating a healthy environment for our children is challenging when we don’t have good parenting ourselves. We are still impacted by our trauma and our hurt; it can feel impossible not to pass it on.

The hard part about trauma, or behavior we categorize as hurtful or bad, is that it is not due to anyone setting out to hurt another person. People who have unprocessed trauma and don’t know how to deal with it. People who are hurt and sad all the time haven’t gotten to their anger. People who are angry and explosive haven’t gotten to their hurt and sadness.

What happens with parent-child relationships is the hurt parent wants a two-way street. Meaning, the hurt parent wants the child to make it okay for them as well, but that is not the child’s job. It is the parent’s job to make it okay for the child.

Give your children the opportunity to hear the things they always wanted to hear.

Register for my upcoming Women’s Retreat which will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this gentle and nourishing life-changing opportunity. Whatever your issue or concern there is a place for you.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a parent that has guilt or shame about how you parented or how you treated your child or children?
Do you know that you are passing on generational patterns and trauma? Have you told yourself you would never do it yet you find yourself doing it?
Do you have a strained or strange relationship with one of your children that you want to remedy? You want to have a connection with them but you are not sure how.
Do you trust yourself enough to parent yourself in a way that can help you parent your child better, and your adult children who still need parenting?

Carrie’s Question:

Carrie was a parent who inflicted trauma on her children. She would like guidance on how to repair their relationship.

Carrie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She was a single mother.
Her children were teenagers when she made regrettable decisions.
She acted in ways that made her children feel unsafe.
Inconsistent behaviors were common while she was raising her children.
She is a full-time traveler.
Her children don’t acknowledge her as family.
Her children’s father isn’t accessible.
She feels shame about repeating the actions of her parents.
She fears triggering her daughter when around her grandchildren.
Her daughter doesn’t reach out to her.
She doesn’t want to hear what her daughter may say to her.
She fears confronting her anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Trust that it is time to remove her shame.
Step into her mama bear and expect more from herself as a mother.
Have a heart-to-heart conversation, apologize to her daughter, and listen and love her.
Allow herself to feel her sadness.
Do the Anger Release process.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services