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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Over It And On With It
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Now displaying: April, 2022
Apr 30, 2022

Nicole Sachs, LCSW is a speaker, writer, podcaster and psychotherapist who has dedicated her work and her practice to the treatment of chronic pain, symptoms, syndromes and conditions. She is the author of the book The Meaning of Truth, and the online course FREEDOM FROM CHRONIC PAIN. Her brand, The Cure for Chronic Pain, includes a Website, Podcast and YouTube Channel. Her personal experience as well as work with thousands of people around the world have shaped and evolved Nicole’s theories, which serve to teach those suffering how to heal themselves completely with no medication or surgery.

Apr 27, 2022

This episode is breaking familiar generational patterns. Today’s caller, Angel, grew up in a chaotic home. As an adult, he seeks out chaos and uses numbing strategies when he feels triggered. We work through ways he can recognize the triggers and how he can make them an opportunity for healing without self-blame or shame.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode346]

 

Unraveling and healing from trauma in our childhoods take time. It is hard to deal with our past when we distract ourselves by things happening in the present or with numbing strategies.

 

Because we are often drawn to what is familiar, not what is healthy, that gets a lot of us stuck. We keep going back to things we know are not healthy, then we get stuck in the cycle of self-blame and shame without being compassionate with ourselves.

 

A trigger is a gateway to healing, but if we go to a distraction or a quick fix we miss the opportunity for deeper healing. It’s about making the decision at the time of the trigger to go inside and that is when we do the work.

 

A disorganized attachment style is formed when we have had a chaotic childhood. A disorganized attachment style is like a “come here, now go away” pattern. It is the wanting of attention and affection, wanting to be seen but also wanting to withdraw. When real intimacy and real love get too close, the person with a disorganized attachment style wants to push it away.

 

If you want to learn more about attachment styles you can download a great group coaching call for only $20 at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have trouble being alone?
  • Did you grow up in a chaotic environment where you didn’t feel seen and safe? Did you witness violence?
  • Do you find yourself in a cycle of going into dysfunctional relationships or abusing a substance and you feel shame about it?
  • Do you have a lot of awareness but feel you are not changing?

 

Angel’s Question:

Angel seeks chaos and conflict and would like guidance on how to feel a sense of safety and be in his body.

 

Angel’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • His childhood home was chaotic.
  • He is social around other people.
  • He finds it difficult to be alone with his thoughts.
  • He feels empty.
  • He seeks out chaos in his life.
  • He uses substances in excess.
  • His cycle of shame repeats.
  • He shut down as a child to cope with the domestic violence he witnessed.
  • He feels not-enough and has a disorganized attachment style.
  • He has never felt loved or safe.
  • He is always looking to find what he didn’t get as a child.
  • He feels he has awareness.
  • He feels comforted when other people are around.
  • His intuition tells him he should wait to enter a romantic relationship.
  • He was in a trauma-bond relationship that blew up.
  • He finds it hard to forget the trauma he experienced as a child.
  • He still lives with his mom, and he feels anger toward her when she tries to parent him.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have compassion for himself.
  • Acknowledge himself and tell himself he is not alone.
  • Have patience with his process and acknowledge his progress.
  • Resist the urge to go to the quick fix when he feels triggered.
  • Leverage triggers when they come up.
  • Write a letter to his mother he does not intend to give to her.
  • Make the intention to make relationships with male mentors or build up more healthy male relationships.

 

Takeaway:

  • Use the moments when you feel triggered to reach for a distraction or a numbing strategy, to instead leverage the triggering opportunity to use your healing tools.
  • Find healthy male groups to be a part of such as Mpowered Brotherhood on Instagram.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Apr 23, 2022

This episode is about overcoming the pain our inner bullies create. Today’s caller, Ravi, was bullied as a child, and uses his inner critic as a protective measure. He became isolated and disconnected from his intuition, and he cut off listening to his heart because he didn’t want to feel.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode82]

When we cut off our feelings we not only cut off the pain, but we cut off the love and inspiration as well. What happened in the past does not have to create your future. You can get over it and on with it, but you must be consciously committed to letting it go.

 

To transform, you need love, wisdom, and compassion from your heart, and alchemy. I guided Ravi through a heart meditation, like this one from a Coaches Corner episode. Ravi experienced clarity after the meditation. His heart said it wanted expression through art.

 

The next step was to transform his trauma and pain, but Ravi said he didn’t want to go there. Remember, the fear of feeling pain is what keeps you from transforming it. It is possible to alchemize passion, or suffering, into something you love. It takes a lot of energy to suppress pain. If you have had trauma, it can be scary to go there on your own. You should find someone to work with, someone who can go there with you to hold a space for you.

 

The more you listen to your heart, the more it speaks to you!

 

Join me this September at my retreat in Bali. Visiting a magical place with like-minded people will transform your mind, body, and spirit. It’s a unique experience where you can experience significant healing that will last the rest of your life. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Are you trying to figure out your issues or challenges in your head?

● Were you bullied, teased or criticized as a child or a teenager, and it still haunts you today?

● Do you have a past trauma you are terrified to address and feel?

● Would you say you live more in your head than in your heart?

 

Ravi's Question:

Ravi wants to know how to find purpose in his life.

 

Ravi's Key Insights and Ahas:

● He disconnected from his conscious mind to cope with the trauma.

● He internalizes the external bullying.

● He’s scared of failure and being made fun of.

● He has managed his pain, but has not yet transformed it.

● He is in an avoidance pattern and protective mode.

● He’s been in the midst of self-loathing.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● He should tap into the passion he experienced to create art.

● He could help other people who have been bullied.

● He needs to listen to his heart.

● He needs to start alchemizing his pain.

● He should practice release writing when he feels sadness.

 

Assignments:

● Read The Lesson Quest and Your Life’s Purpose in Chapter 9, The Spiritual Level in Expectation Hangover.

● Be honest about what you are attempting to figure out, and alchemize it.

● Listen to my Coaches Corner with Jim Kwik.

● Volunteer and be of service to someone else to help you with your inner critic.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Over It and On With It Listener Survey

Expectation Hangover

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information

Bali Retreat Enrollment Page

Apr 20, 2022

This episode is about communicating with someone who has more of a controlling and rigid personality structure. Today’s caller, Danielle, would like to reduce the friction between her and her husband when it comes to their parenting priorities. I coach Danielle on how to work with her husband to be a little less rigid and less controlling when it comes to her sons and when it comes to herself. And, how to get her sons to express themselves emotionally.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode345]

 

When we are butting heads with someone, trying to get them to see our side of something will never work. Having curiosity and compassion for the other person’s model of the world and the way they see things is the way forward.

 

A lot of men, boys, and those who identify as masculine have been conditioned to suppress, to be less emotional, and that their value is the security and legacy they can provide or the money they can provide. Oftentimes emotional connection, the ability to be in their heart, the ability to trust, or to have more of a connection with their feminine side is difficult because there has been so much attention on the other.

 

Remember, when someone says that something made them stronger it generally doesn’t mean they now have the courage to be vulnerable and to seek help, to think deep into their wounds, to dig into their generational patterns to transform their experience.

 

When children are not raised with the ability to have autonomy, sovereignty, and speak up for themselves, it can go one of two ways. Either they become overly compliant and get pushed around or they become overly aggressive because they are trying to get their power back.

 

A lot of us can relate to us having differences in the way we see the world and what we think is right. Anytime we can heal a division in our home or within our families, it has a ripple effect elsewhere. So, at a time when it seems there is a lot of division, finger-pointing, and judgment in the world, shifting this in the home helps to collectively shift it.

 

Are you in a relationship right now and you would like the relationship to be better? Or, your relationship is at a point where it is falling apart and you want to save it? Would you like to know what makes a relationship work? You can at any time by going to christinehassler.com/relationshipcourse. Listeners of this podcast get $50 off with promo code ‘OVERIT’. Learn how to bring the zest back into your relationship.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you find there is someone in your life who is controlling and you wish they would be more intuitive and more emotionally available?
  • Do you find it is hard to set boundaries with someone who is structured and set in their ways?
  • Is it hard for you to have compassion for your partner or children because you are frustrated by what they are doing?
  • Are you willing to see the little child inside of the adults you love and have compassion for the way they act the way they do?

 

Danielle’s Question:

Danielle would like to know how she can enforce boundaries with her children while respecting her husband’s role in the family.

 

Danielle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She set boundaries to keep burnout at bay.
  • She and her husband lead a busy lifestyle.
  • She and her husband are both active military.
  • Her husband is high-energy and she is more passive.
  • She values her parenting skills.
  • She wants her boys to grow up with sovereignty.
  • Her boys are diagnosed with ADHD/ADD.
  • Her husband may have wounds around his relationship with his father.
  • She is triggered by her husband’s actions.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Carve some time out with her husband to ask him what he wished would have been different between him and his father.
  • Realize her husband has a father wound and she may be dealing with a tender little boy inside.
  • Acknowledge her husband when he does emotional work.
  • Approach her husband in a way that doesn’t make him feel judged.
  • Lean into her vulnerability and speak her needs in an empowered way.
  • Create a fun way to empower her boys to express themselves.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Apr 16, 2022

Do you know the value of positive thinking but just can’t seem to shift out of negative thinking? This coaching session is about expectations and shifting negative patterns. During this call, we examine Danielle’s past to understand what formed her current expectations and get to the root of why she is sabotaging herself in relationships.

Apr 13, 2022

This episode is about releasing the judgment of our past decisions. Today’s caller, MJ, was betrayed by her ex-husband and when she divorced, became a single mother of two. As she focused on raising her children, she neglected her sensual side and has not been on a date. She would like guidance on how to reclaim her life and get more out of her interpersonal relationships. We talk a lot about betrayal and holding on to judgment of our past selves.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode344]

 

Hindsight is 20/20. Many people can relate to making a choice in the past they probably wouldn’t make today that they are still beating themselves up for. When we do that to ourselves we are in the past and we completely block all the amazing things that can come into our present and future.

 

Sometimes we don’t forgive ourselves because we think that holding on to the judgment of ourselves will keep us from making the same mistake.

 

In order to have a life and a future, we must forgive our past. Not just the people in the past but the former versions of ourselves in the past. As long as we are beating ourselves up for our past decisions we are fractured. We are at odds with a part of ourselves.

 

Good luck having a rich, full, amazing life, being connected to our sensuality, having friendships, or having the relationship of our dreams if we are at war with a part of ourselves. We have to be at peace with all parts of ourselves.

 

Have compassion for yourself and know that you did the best you could in your past. We don’t have to stay at war with ourselves. We can invite all parts of ourselves into our hearts and deeply, truly, and fully forgive ourselves.

 

If you want to do deeper work and you resonate with my coaching, I encourage you to join Personal Mastery. It is the foundational training of my work. I take you through how to transform and heal on the emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual levels. There are so many tips and tools. Personal Mastery is also a community. There are monthly calls and a Facebook group. Get coached by me without being on the show. Go to ChristineHassler.com/mastery. Get $100 off the course by typing in 'OVERIT' as the promo code when ordering.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Was there a choice you made in your past you are still beating yourself up for?
  • Have you been betrayed by someone or multiple people and you judge yourself for it?
  • Do you have a difficult time connecting to your sensuality or sexuality?
  • Have you been focused on raising your kids or your career, or both, and you want to get back out in the dating world but are not sure where to start?

 

MJ’s Question:

MJ would like guidance on how to break down the emotional wall she put up after a divorce and flourish in her interpersonal relationships.

 

MJ’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She divorced and became a single mother 10 years ago when her ex betrayed her by having a secret life.
  • She has neglected her sensuality.
  • She hasn’t been on a date in seven years.
  • She has put up an emotional wall when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships.
  • She felt ashamed of who she chose to marry.
  • She holds a belief that you cannot completely rely on men.
  • She was naive when she was younger.
  • She hasn’t forgiven herself for marrying her first husband.
  • She believed she needed to be punished.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Forgive herself and reclaim the lost part of herself by releasing the shame and judgment.
  • Integrate her younger self back into her life.

 

Takeaway:

  • Think about past parts of you that you hold judgment toward and forgive yourself to make yourself whole.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Apr 9, 2022
When Luke Storey hosted me on his podcast, we went on a deep dive into everything from revealing personal insecurities to ego pitfalls to relationship attachment style.
 
This episode has tools to cultivate self-love, set boundaries, and maintain healthier relations with yourself and those you invite into your life.
 
You can learn more about Luke or reach out to him about working with him at https://www.lukestorey.com/

Inner Child Workshop 

Apr 6, 2022

This episode is about giving yourself permission to have fun. Today’s caller, Vicky, hasn’t had fun in over a decade. She wants to but fears others will judge her for it. We work through what created the fear and how she can give herself a permission slip to express herself in joy without worrying about what others will think.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode343]

 

Often, what we are projecting when we feel people are judging us is that we are judging ourselves. We need to challenge ourselves and say —  so what? —  if we are judged. What is the worst thing that can happen?

 

As a child, it can be scary. We can feel ostracized from school, we can feel like we are not getting our parents’ love but as adults, if someone judges us we can let it be OK. It is one of the great things about being an adult. We can handle judgment differently. We choose how we react.

 

If we do get devastated by someone else’s judgment, it means our inner child is being triggered. If that happens we have to parent our inner child and give them permission to have fun.

 

If it has been a week since you have had fun, it’s time to have some. We can’t be serious all the time, especially when there is so much stress, uncertainty, and heaviness. Fun, joy, and play are important. No matter how old we get, we cannot forget to play.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you just been working on yourself but haven’t had fun in a long time?
  • Are you afraid to be expressive or fun because you are concerned you might be judged?
  • Do you fall into the trap of not wanting to pursue things because you feel you must be perfect before you can do it?
  • How often do you let your inner child come out and play?

 

Vicky’s Question:

Vicky has done a ton of personal development work but still doesn’t authentically feel as if she has connected to joy.

 

Vicky’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is frustrated that she still doesn’t feel connected.
  • She hasn’t had a lot of fun since her 20s.
  • She wants to experience joy.
  • She feels she has to work hard.
  • She fantasizes about being goofy.
  • She is afraid of judgment.
  • She is a life coach but doesn’t feel she deserves the title.
  • Her parents fought a lot in front of her.
  • She felt pressured to keep the peace in her childhood family home.
  • She doesn’t feel safe or seen.
  • She didn’t get to have enough fun as a child.
  • She gets caught up in “should be.”

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Be present, curious, and explorative in the moment.
  • Ask herself what she could do to make herself feel safe and seen.
  • Lean into being goofy and having fun.
  • Choose how she wants to respond when she feels not enough.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Apr 2, 2022

Michael Gay who is a therapist joins Christine to discuss how we deal and heal from trauma.  He has his M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a focus in Transpersonal Psychology. Michael has worked in the field of counseling for the last 14 years as a guide, therapist, and trainer. He was a Wilderness Therapy guide for 6 years, leading and facilitating deep transformational work with teens, adults, and families in the mountains and high desert. He has also worked extensively in the field of addiction and recovery. He specializes in work with depression, groups, trauma, PTSD, grief, and families. In addition to his M.A., Michael completed a 3 year training at the Gestalt Institute of the Rockies, and continues to train at the Gestalt Equine Institute.

As a therapist and facilitator, Michael uses experiential and body based methods. Many approaches to therapy and inner work stay at the intellectual and cognitive level, which rarely or slowly affect deep structural change. Engaging in more experiential and embodied work seems to bring the shifts people were unable to find in mainstream therapy. 

You can learn more about Michael or reach out to him about working with him at https://www.michaelgaycounseling.com/
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