This episode is about getting over an unwanted breakup and so much more. Today’s caller, Nicole, was surprised when her husband of two years asked for a divorce citing different communication styles. She would like guidance on how to get over the breakup and how to use what she is learning about herself to heal her triggers.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode385]

When we grow up with the feeling of struggle, or we feel our parents struggle, we can’t just be kids. We can’t completely relax. So, in our adult relationships, we look for relief.

Other people can help us heal and can be amazing sources of support but no one can save us from ourselves. We can rely on people to hold space for us and they can be amazing support systems. But if we are always looking to someone else to fill a void, save us, help us, or end our struggles, then we never really embody the knowing that we can fill that void, or deal with that struggle ourselves. It is super empowering to know we can do that ourselves and know we don’t need to rely on someone else for love, stability, or safety.

The answers are never outside of ourselves. They are always found within.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you going through a change that you didn’t want and you’re having a hard time with it? Did you grow up struggling or was your family struggling, particularly your parents, and you find yourself struggling in life?
• Are you afraid you manifested “bad” things in life?
• Do you ever become someone that you’re not in order to get love?

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole feels she manifested her divorce and would like guidance on how to get over it.

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She was shocked when her ex-husband of two years asked for a divorce.
• She feels she may have manifested the situation.
• She fears she may have sabotaged her relationship.
• Her childhood was filled with struggle and strife.
• She suppressed her true nature in the relationship.
• She feels that her ex is perfect and met every item on her checklist.
• She projected children into their future.
• She truly enjoyed the relationship.
• She feels the need to be her fiery self in a relationship.
• She has had to conform at other times in her life.
• She did everything she could to save her marriage.
• She doubts her abilities and doesn’t feel deserving.
• She feels that struggling has value and is a normal part of life.
• She put her ex-husband on a pedestal.
• She will go into learning mode, not victim mode.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Manage her reactivity and how she communicates her feelings.
• Feel joy, stability, and comfort within herself.
• Work with a coach, or counselor, to keep her on the healing path.
• Use her experience as a lesson to heal her triggers.

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about navigating a different path than your family. Today’s caller, George, grew up in a healthy family environment but always felt he was on a different spiritual path than the rest of his family. He asks for guidance about accepting differences and for practices to heal his inner child. If you are a generational pattern breaker, or if you are choosing a different path than the one your family is on, this episode offers guidance for you too.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode384]

For many generational pattern breakers, we are conflicted between our soul path and our family lineage. We are born knowing we are on a different path. We all come into life with our level of consciousness, the beliefs we adhere to, and our soul path. It may be difficult to understand when all the other members of a family are committed to something we may not be committed to. We have the family we are born into and then we find our soul family.

When we choose something different, it can feel terrifying to break out of the family norm. One of our survival needs is wired to our nervous system and the part of our nervous system that is connected to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn is belonging. When we sever any type of tie to family, even if we can logically understand it, it still wakes up our need for belonging. It can bring up feelings of guilt or shame.

We believe that our family should be the ones who know us best but sometimes they are not. And, that is okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t love them or have a relationship with them, it just means that we find our soul family in other places.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like the outsider in your family or the generational pattern breaker?
• Have you made a choice your family doesn’t approve of?
• Is your family trying to fix you, trying to convince you to come back to their religion, business, or hometown?
• Do you feel like your own flesh and blood doesn’t really understand you?

George’s Question:

George wants to know how to navigate and set boundaries within the relationship he has with his family.

George’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He was raised in a Christian household yet his current spiritual path differs.
• He feels distant from his family.
• He wants his family to accept him for who he is.
• He asked his family to respect his spiritual journey.
• He had a healthy upbringing but felt misunderstood.
• He feels like an outsider for leaving the rural community that his family lives and worships in.
• He realizes he is living his life for himself and not his family.
• He is having a difficult time accepting that there are issues they will not be able to connect on.
• For a long time, he associated spirituality with the Christian religion.
• He is currently experiencing a higher level of spiritual growth.
• In some ways, he has always felt different and unique in his family.
• His inner child is reluctant to let his feelings go.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Know that the connection he wants with his family may not be possible.
• Understand no spiritual path is better, they are just different.
• Have a conversation with his inner child who didn’t feel understood and have compassion and love for himself.
• Enjoy his relationship with his family without talking about religion or spirituality.
• Practice dominant handwriting, the empty chair process, or journaling when talking with his inner child.
• Allow his spiritual practice to lead him through his experience.

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, improving well-being, and increasing high-quality sleep. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about a pattern of withdrawal and doing deep work when you are not resourced. Today’s caller, Linet, is a sleep-deprived new mother who finds it difficult to express her emotions with her partner. When her partner expresses his feelings she feels judged. Christine guides Linet through ways she can use her current situation to heal the pains of the past and lean into love.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode383]

Oftentimes, when we are dealing with lower hormones, we can’t rely on biology. We need psychology and we need to use our heart. It is not the time to do deep work and bring up painful experiences from our past when we are sleep-deprived, hormonally challenged, or adjusting to major life changes.

If you are currently under-resourced it is not the time to dig deep into core wounding. Doing so can reactivate the trauma because you don’t have enough resources to hold you through the process. But, it could be the time to break patterns and choose more into experiences you wish you had as a child.

When it comes to pattern breaks it takes a commitment. Whether you are finding a way for your child or your inner child we have got to find a way to break a pattern. Patterns are patterns for a reason and breaking a pattern is a choice.

If we keep doing the same thing we keep getting the same results.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have a pattern of withdrawing or related to the avoidant attachment style?
• Do you get angry at yourself or others but underneath you are just sad?
• When your partner comes to you being vulnerable, do you feel as if you have done something wrong? When they make a request of you, do you judge them or judge yourself?
• Do you want to break a pattern in your parenting? Would you like to be a different parent than the way you were parented?

Linet’s Question:

Linet would like to express her concerns without sounding critical or judgmental and learn how to eliminate roadblocks in her relationships.

Linet’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She has problems expressing her emotions.
• She feels angry, frustrated, and distant often.
• When her husband shares his emotions, she feels judged.
• Her relationship is 1.5 years old.
• She is a new mother and recently lost her libido during postpartum.
• She is hard on herself and has expectation hangovers.
• She isn’t sleeping well.
• She has had to hold it all together throughout her life.
• Intimacy frightens her.
• Her mother didn’t make her feel safe to share her emotions.
• She finds it easy to connect and nurture her daughter.
• When she withdraws, she wants to be loved.
• She is ready to break patterns.
• This is her first relationship that has lasted more than three months.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Have compassion for herself during major changes in her life.
• Practice leaning into love when she wants to withdraw.
• Avoid doing deep work until she is fully resourced.
• When she wants to withdraw, ask for a hug instead.
• Give little Linet the hugs she needs.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Layla Martin is a thought leader in the ever-emerging worlds of sexual wellness, Tantra, erotic empowerment, and personal development.

As founder of the VITA™ Method, she’s been certifying professionals in a Tantric approach to Love, Sex, and Relationships for over 7 years and has taught over 12,000 paid clients.

For 20 years, Layla traveled the world as a devoted student of Tantra, training with the most high-level teachers of this powerful tradition. She studied human sexuality, neuroscience, and biology at Stanford University, and immersed herself in the energetic traditions of Taoism and early witchcraft.

Along the way, she personally curated a dynamic, holistic system from over 10,000 hours of practice that blends ancient traditions with modern techniques. The VITA™ Method is proven to help heal trauma, release limiting beliefs, and awaken life-changing levels of pleasure.

You can learn more about her VITA certification program at christinehassler.com/layla

This is the second part of my annual ritual to complete this year and step forward into 2023 with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a receiving process and meditation to start 2023 with steps to get clear about what you want to call in. Be sure to listen to the 2022 release episode to prepare you to receive freely.

We are $30 off on our breathwork and meditation series. Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork and use the promo code HOLIDAY.

And, January 10th is the first virtual group coaching night of 2023! Go to ChristineHassler.com/group.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout.

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.