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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Over It And On With It
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Now displaying: September, 2023
Sep 30, 2023
This is a conversation I loved having because it is SO relevant for me right now as a new mom.  We cover mom guilt, parenting shaming, attachment theory, forgiving ourselves orver what what we "should have done" and SO much more. 
 
My guest, Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC has been a licensed psychotherapist since 2003. After getting married and becoming a mother to two children (now 12 and 14 years old), Ellen began to focus primarily on couples in her private psychotherapy and coaching practice.  Ellen is now a certified practitioner of PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy).,

Ellen enjoys teaching and consulting on relationship topics, writing her blog on motherhood and relationships, is fascinated by nature, spirituality, human development, and studies a range of topics from yoga and meditation to evolutionary sociobiology.  Ellen is also on faculty for the Relationship School—a business founded by her husband, Jayson Gaddis, that provides in depth relationship education and coaching training. 

www.ellenboeder.com

Sep 27, 2023

This coaching call is about being in a similar pattern when it comes to dating and relationships. Today’s caller, Trish, longs for a committed relationship but doesn’t understand why she has a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable people. She asks for guidance on how to choose the right person.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode420].

 

So many of our relationship challenges come from our parental issues from our childhood. Not all of them, but a lot of them. As children, we want to be loved, feel safe, and validated by our parents.

 

When we have a parent whom we don’t get everything we want, or need from, we settle for the best they can do, even though it’s not fully what we want. We often end up not being empowered in relationships. Because there’s still that little inner child part of us who believes that we should just take what we can get. But, every soul seeks to evolve.

 

Evolution is moving away from judgment, away from limiting beliefs, and into love. The only way we can move away from judgment and limiting beliefs is to have them right in our face so that they’re painful enough for us to look at. Isn’t life wonderful the way it works? So often the relationships we draw in are triggers and activators to look at the stuff from our childhood that we haven’t fully healed.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you someone who maybe has been married or has been in many relationships and you find yourself with the same outcome?

  • Did you grow up feeling like you wanted more from both or one of your parents and you never really got everything you wanted?

  • Are you grieving a recent breakup and blaming yourself or wondering what you did wrong?

  • Are you constantly working on yourself to try to attract a better relationship?

 

Trish’s Question:

Trish is frustrated that she chooses men who are emotionally unavailable or incapable of choosing or loving her.

 

Trish’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s done personal development work.

  • Her parents divorced when she was one year old.

  • She didn’t feel her father’s love.

  • She didn’t spend time with her father.

  • She knows she has a lot to offer a partner.

  • The men she chooses don’t recognize her value.

  • She can be guarded in relationships.

  • She longs for a committed relationship.

  • She doesn’t date a lot.

  • She doesn’t want to be alone.

  • She doesn’t show up empowered in the early stages of intimate relationships.

  • She doesn’t want to get hurt.

  • She ignores red or yellow flags early in relationships.

  • In her last relationship, she believed their core values were aligned.

  • She knows it is not her job to be a man’s savior.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Drop the belief that she has a bad picker.

  • Have clear conversations about what she wants early in a relationship.

  • Empower herself by not being a victim of her circumstances.

  • Give herself the time and space to heal.

 

Takeaway:

  • What choices and what states of being can you embody to step into empowerment?

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

 

Sep 20, 2023

This coaching call is about the motherhood transition and finding your identity. Today’s caller, Julia, has children leaving the nest. She is unsure what comes next for her. She asks Christine for guidance about what she can do to discover who she is.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode419].

 

The earlier in life we have children the less time we have to work on our own inner child. Part of why we hang on to moments with our kids is because our inner child may not have had it. The more we have a connection to our own inner child and our sense of play and magic the less we need children around us to give us that. So much of what mothers miss from children is the sense of unconditional love and joy.

 

One of the things our culture is not great with is grief and letting it be okay that we are grieving. And, when we don’t complete a cycle with ritual and intention it still lingers. A part of us is always in the past. We always have nostalgia and it makes it harder to step into our next phase.

 

Often, we try to redo our childhood through parenthood. We’re trying to give our children the life that we didn’t have and it is beautiful that we want to do better. But what can happen is we become so involved in our child’s life and become so immersed in parenthood, particularly motherhood, that we neglect our own inner child.

 

It’s a delicate balance to mother others while mothering ourselves. Remember not to neglect your inner child by putting everything you have into your children. It is important we parent our inner child as well.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you at an age in life where you are trying to get excited about the next chapter but are having a hard time doing it?

  • Are you going through any kind of transition and you find it bittersweet?

  • Have you questioned your identity, not just from moving from motherhood to being an empty-nester?

  • Have you avoided dealing with your childhood by being a great parent or having a great life as an adult and you know it’s time to deal with your childhood?

 

Julia’s Question:

Julia feels she is in a phase in life where she doesn’t know what comes next for her. She asks for guidance about how to rediscover herself.

 

Julia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She just sent her oldest off to college.

  • She has one child still at home.

  • She doesn’t want this motherhood phase to be over.

  • She worked and traveled before she had children.

  • She may not know herself as an adult woman.

  • She feels that possibly her best years have passed.

  • She is considering joining the Signature Retreat.

  • She wishes more people spoke about this motherhood transition.

  • She teaches Pilates.

  • She feels like she needs to get busy doing something.

  • She is grieving her childhood.

  • Her childhood was chaotic.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Recognize the things about motherhood that she won’t miss.

  • Find ways to enjoy today.

  • Join the Signature Retreat.

  • Take the opportunity to relax into her feminine energy.

  • Consider who she wants to be and what she wants to leave behind.

  • Take the space to nurture and heal her inner child.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 16, 2023

For the past 20 years, Lindsey Meehleis has worked in healthcare but found herself often in the shadows. In the shadows of the night helping women discover their own strength through psychedelic, transcendent experiences while they birth their babies in power at home. As well in the shadows of death as a Midwife who helps people cross the rainbow bridge. Her hands have touched the lives of many as they take their first and last breath. She has woven the stories of thousands of births throughout these 20 years. Trained traditionally and licensed through the Medical Board, she quickly learned that what is needed in the magic and mystery of birth and death can't be found in a book. She serves families from womb to tomb, like many medicine women have done throughout time, with a deep remembering that many of these witches were burned at the stake for their threat to the standard industrialized medical complex. She has witnessed a drastic shift in healthcare since 2020 and looks forward to co- creating a new future of what true medicine always was. She gets down to the nitty-gritty of LIFE and everything it brings and illustrates the power that we have within, showing that birth, life and death are pivotal rites of passage that deserve to be held in sacred deep reverence.

Sep 13, 2023

The essence of this coaching call is about healing a relationship with adult children. Today’s caller, Gail, is dealing with estrangement by her children since her marriage to their father broke up and her ex-husband passed away. She asks for guidance on how to find joy during a new chapter in her life and how she can reconnect with her children.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode418].

 

If you walk on eggshells, tiptoe around, or try to protect everyone else’s feelings, ask yourself if that is the most loving thing to do. Sometimes love can be messy and truth can be messy but walking on eggshells, pretending, and being a chameleon is not love.

 

Children need to know that their parents will fight for them and risk them being mad or pushing them away to have a relationship with them.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have any children that you’re estranged from or that you have a rocky relationship with and would like to repair it?

  • “Should” you be excited about things in your life but you’re having a hard time accessing joy?

  •  Do you ever feel like you want to tell the truth about something but you can’t because you’re protecting someone else?

 

Gail’s Question:

Gail asks for guidance in getting back to joy while suffering from grief.

 

Gail’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband died after three months of them separating.

  • It’s been five years since her husband’s death.

  • She believes her adult children are suffering.

  • She feels numb.

  • She completed the Over It and On With It online course.

  • She is engaged to be married.

  • She is slowly rebuilding her relationship with her four children.

  • She fears her new relationship could jeopardize her relationship with her children.

  • She wants to respect her children’s wants but it feels unjust to her.

  • There is a religious component to the family disruption.

  • She takes intentional steps to rekindle her family relationship.

  • She has an internal dilemma about being a mother and a woman.

  • She doesn’t trust her intuition.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Write each of her children a letter sharing her feelings.

  • Become the leader of her family and tell her children the truth.

  • Get guidance from a family therapist.

  • She deserves joy and happiness.

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 9, 2023

Ryan Mayer, certified ADDCA and ICF coach, is on a mission to empower others with ADHD toward their greatness. He has coached clients from 19 different countries and has nearly half a million followers on social media.

His Performance and Mindset Coaching helps others navigate through the storms in their lives caused by ADHD, making measurable progress on their most important goals.

Having ADHD himself, Ryan calls on personal experience to equip his clients - who may feel like they are constantly falling short at work and at home - with the strategies to step into the happier life that they deserve.

Ryan is happily married to his (amazing neurotypical) wife Andrea. They have three adorable children and live in Cleveland, OH (USA).

To get Ryan's 10 day course that is all text message based for 30% off go to https://market.authoritive.com/workthatworksforyouradhdand use "OnWithIt30" at checkout

Sep 6, 2023

The essence of this coaching call is about our protective patterns manifesting as nervous habits. Today’s caller, Jessica, picks her skin. She would like guidance about understanding her nervous habit and how to stop it. Christine sheds some light on why these kinds of habits exist and why wanting to get rid of them or making them wrong is exactly what not to do.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode417].

 

The origin of our nervous habits is a tender, scared, powerless part of us. When pain is inflicted upon us, either emotional, physical, sexual, or mental pain, and everything feels out of control, our ability to cause ourselves pain and being the one controlling the pain gives us a sense of power.

 

When we are in overwhelm of any kind, we can use our nervous habit as a soothing strategy. It sort of shuts down everything else and brings our focus to the habit so we don’t have to feel other things. We use it as a sense of control, as well as a soothing strategy. It is a useful strategy our subconscious creates to help us manage our pain.

 

Remember, our inner protector is protecting a very scared child who felt powerless and had pain inflicted on them. When we feel the urge to apply our protective strategies, AKA act out our nervous habits, the last thing we want to do is try to force them to go away because they will just try to do their job even stronger. We need to make a conscious effort to be aware of our habits and not judge or shame ourselves for them.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is almost upon us. To get a unique sneak peek of what to expect during the retreat, I am having a Grad Panel on September 6th. To attend or for a recording of the panel go to Christine.Hassler.com/panel or assist@christinehassler.com. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. And, to apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. The course is almost full.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have any nervous habits like skin-picking, nail-biting, pulling apart split ends, etc.?

  • Did you have pain inflicted upon you as a child and you felt you had no control?

  • Do you notice nervous habits emerge even in situations where you should feel safe?

  • Do you try to stop a habit by shaming yourself or making it wrong and you aren’t getting anywhere?

 

Jessica’s Question:

Jessica asks for guidance on how to break her nervous habit of skin-picking.

 

Jessica’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her skin picking interferes with her being fully present.

  • She feels anxious when she picks her skin.

  • She is a high achiever.

  • She finds it difficult to break her habit.

  • Her habit soothes her.

  • Pain was inflicted upon her which left her feeling powerless.

  • She is in the early stages of pregnancy.

  • She wished she had an emotionally present, nurturing mother.

  • Her grandfather caused her distress as a child.

  • She feels she has to put everyone else first.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Let go of the shame and judgment she has about her nervous habit.

  • Have compassion for herself.

  • Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop.

  • Get herself into the present moment as much as possible.

  • If she has the urge to pick, go ahead and pick but do it consciously.

  • Take care not to go into the martyr-mother role.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you have a nervous habit let go of your shame and judgment around it.

  • Be patient and gentle with yourself and nourish your inner child.

 

Sponsor:

Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% or $300 off on selected models.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 2, 2023

If you want a simple, effective way to increase the quality of your life don't miss this episode. I've upgraded my 40 day stop-start-modify plan to support you in implementing new habits to create more calm, health, joy and prosperity in your life.

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