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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: 2023
Sep 27, 2023

This coaching call is about being in a similar pattern when it comes to dating and relationships. Today’s caller, Trish, longs for a committed relationship but doesn’t understand why she has a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable people. She asks for guidance on how to choose the right person.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode420].

 

So many of our relationship challenges come from our parental issues from our childhood. Not all of them, but a lot of them. As children, we want to be loved, feel safe, and validated by our parents.

 

When we have a parent whom we don’t get everything we want, or need from, we settle for the best they can do, even though it’s not fully what we want. We often end up not being empowered in relationships. Because there’s still that little inner child part of us who believes that we should just take what we can get. But, every soul seeks to evolve.

 

Evolution is moving away from judgment, away from limiting beliefs, and into love. The only way we can move away from judgment and limiting beliefs is to have them right in our face so that they’re painful enough for us to look at. Isn’t life wonderful the way it works? So often the relationships we draw in are triggers and activators to look at the stuff from our childhood that we haven’t fully healed.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you someone who maybe has been married or has been in many relationships and you find yourself with the same outcome?

  • Did you grow up feeling like you wanted more from both or one of your parents and you never really got everything you wanted?

  • Are you grieving a recent breakup and blaming yourself or wondering what you did wrong?

  • Are you constantly working on yourself to try to attract a better relationship?

 

Trish’s Question:

Trish is frustrated that she chooses men who are emotionally unavailable or incapable of choosing or loving her.

 

Trish’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s done personal development work.

  • Her parents divorced when she was one year old.

  • She didn’t feel her father’s love.

  • She didn’t spend time with her father.

  • She knows she has a lot to offer a partner.

  • The men she chooses don’t recognize her value.

  • She can be guarded in relationships.

  • She longs for a committed relationship.

  • She doesn’t date a lot.

  • She doesn’t want to be alone.

  • She doesn’t show up empowered in the early stages of intimate relationships.

  • She doesn’t want to get hurt.

  • She ignores red or yellow flags early in relationships.

  • In her last relationship, she believed their core values were aligned.

  • She knows it is not her job to be a man’s savior.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Drop the belief that she has a bad picker.

  • Have clear conversations about what she wants early in a relationship.

  • Empower herself by not being a victim of her circumstances.

  • Give herself the time and space to heal.

 

Takeaway:

  • What choices and what states of being can you embody to step into empowerment?

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

 

Sep 20, 2023

This coaching call is about the motherhood transition and finding your identity. Today’s caller, Julia, has children leaving the nest. She is unsure what comes next for her. She asks Christine for guidance about what she can do to discover who she is.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode419].

 

The earlier in life we have children the less time we have to work on our own inner child. Part of why we hang on to moments with our kids is because our inner child may not have had it. The more we have a connection to our own inner child and our sense of play and magic the less we need children around us to give us that. So much of what mothers miss from children is the sense of unconditional love and joy.

 

One of the things our culture is not great with is grief and letting it be okay that we are grieving. And, when we don’t complete a cycle with ritual and intention it still lingers. A part of us is always in the past. We always have nostalgia and it makes it harder to step into our next phase.

 

Often, we try to redo our childhood through parenthood. We’re trying to give our children the life that we didn’t have and it is beautiful that we want to do better. But what can happen is we become so involved in our child’s life and become so immersed in parenthood, particularly motherhood, that we neglect our own inner child.

 

It’s a delicate balance to mother others while mothering ourselves. Remember not to neglect your inner child by putting everything you have into your children. It is important we parent our inner child as well.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you at an age in life where you are trying to get excited about the next chapter but are having a hard time doing it?

  • Are you going through any kind of transition and you find it bittersweet?

  • Have you questioned your identity, not just from moving from motherhood to being an empty-nester?

  • Have you avoided dealing with your childhood by being a great parent or having a great life as an adult and you know it’s time to deal with your childhood?

 

Julia’s Question:

Julia feels she is in a phase in life where she doesn’t know what comes next for her. She asks for guidance about how to rediscover herself.

 

Julia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She just sent her oldest off to college.

  • She has one child still at home.

  • She doesn’t want this motherhood phase to be over.

  • She worked and traveled before she had children.

  • She may not know herself as an adult woman.

  • She feels that possibly her best years have passed.

  • She is considering joining the Signature Retreat.

  • She wishes more people spoke about this motherhood transition.

  • She teaches Pilates.

  • She feels like she needs to get busy doing something.

  • She is grieving her childhood.

  • Her childhood was chaotic.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Recognize the things about motherhood that she won’t miss.

  • Find ways to enjoy today.

  • Join the Signature Retreat.

  • Take the opportunity to relax into her feminine energy.

  • Consider who she wants to be and what she wants to leave behind.

  • Take the space to nurture and heal her inner child.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 16, 2023

For the past 20 years, Lindsey Meehleis has worked in healthcare but found herself often in the shadows. In the shadows of the night helping women discover their own strength through psychedelic, transcendent experiences while they birth their babies in power at home. As well in the shadows of death as a Midwife who helps people cross the rainbow bridge. Her hands have touched the lives of many as they take their first and last breath. She has woven the stories of thousands of births throughout these 20 years. Trained traditionally and licensed through the Medical Board, she quickly learned that what is needed in the magic and mystery of birth and death can't be found in a book. She serves families from womb to tomb, like many medicine women have done throughout time, with a deep remembering that many of these witches were burned at the stake for their threat to the standard industrialized medical complex. She has witnessed a drastic shift in healthcare since 2020 and looks forward to co- creating a new future of what true medicine always was. She gets down to the nitty-gritty of LIFE and everything it brings and illustrates the power that we have within, showing that birth, life and death are pivotal rites of passage that deserve to be held in sacred deep reverence.

Sep 13, 2023

The essence of this coaching call is about healing a relationship with adult children. Today’s caller, Gail, is dealing with estrangement by her children since her marriage to their father broke up and her ex-husband passed away. She asks for guidance on how to find joy during a new chapter in her life and how she can reconnect with her children.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode418].

 

If you walk on eggshells, tiptoe around, or try to protect everyone else’s feelings, ask yourself if that is the most loving thing to do. Sometimes love can be messy and truth can be messy but walking on eggshells, pretending, and being a chameleon is not love.

 

Children need to know that their parents will fight for them and risk them being mad or pushing them away to have a relationship with them.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have any children that you’re estranged from or that you have a rocky relationship with and would like to repair it?

  • “Should” you be excited about things in your life but you’re having a hard time accessing joy?

  •  Do you ever feel like you want to tell the truth about something but you can’t because you’re protecting someone else?

 

Gail’s Question:

Gail asks for guidance in getting back to joy while suffering from grief.

 

Gail’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband died after three months of them separating.

  • It’s been five years since her husband’s death.

  • She believes her adult children are suffering.

  • She feels numb.

  • She completed the Over It and On With It online course.

  • She is engaged to be married.

  • She is slowly rebuilding her relationship with her four children.

  • She fears her new relationship could jeopardize her relationship with her children.

  • She wants to respect her children’s wants but it feels unjust to her.

  • There is a religious component to the family disruption.

  • She takes intentional steps to rekindle her family relationship.

  • She has an internal dilemma about being a mother and a woman.

  • She doesn’t trust her intuition.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Write each of her children a letter sharing her feelings.

  • Become the leader of her family and tell her children the truth.

  • Get guidance from a family therapist.

  • She deserves joy and happiness.

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 9, 2023

Ryan Mayer, certified ADDCA and ICF coach, is on a mission to empower others with ADHD toward their greatness. He has coached clients from 19 different countries and has nearly half a million followers on social media.

His Performance and Mindset Coaching helps others navigate through the storms in their lives caused by ADHD, making measurable progress on their most important goals.

Having ADHD himself, Ryan calls on personal experience to equip his clients - who may feel like they are constantly falling short at work and at home - with the strategies to step into the happier life that they deserve.

Ryan is happily married to his (amazing neurotypical) wife Andrea. They have three adorable children and live in Cleveland, OH (USA).

To get Ryan's 10 day course that is all text message based for 30% off go to https://market.authoritive.com/workthatworksforyouradhdand use "OnWithIt30" at checkout

Sep 6, 2023

The essence of this coaching call is about our protective patterns manifesting as nervous habits. Today’s caller, Jessica, picks her skin. She would like guidance about understanding her nervous habit and how to stop it. Christine sheds some light on why these kinds of habits exist and why wanting to get rid of them or making them wrong is exactly what not to do.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode417].

 

The origin of our nervous habits is a tender, scared, powerless part of us. When pain is inflicted upon us, either emotional, physical, sexual, or mental pain, and everything feels out of control, our ability to cause ourselves pain and being the one controlling the pain gives us a sense of power.

 

When we are in overwhelm of any kind, we can use our nervous habit as a soothing strategy. It sort of shuts down everything else and brings our focus to the habit so we don’t have to feel other things. We use it as a sense of control, as well as a soothing strategy. It is a useful strategy our subconscious creates to help us manage our pain.

 

Remember, our inner protector is protecting a very scared child who felt powerless and had pain inflicted on them. When we feel the urge to apply our protective strategies, AKA act out our nervous habits, the last thing we want to do is try to force them to go away because they will just try to do their job even stronger. We need to make a conscious effort to be aware of our habits and not judge or shame ourselves for them.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is almost upon us. To get a unique sneak peek of what to expect during the retreat, I am having a Grad Panel on September 6th. To attend or for a recording of the panel go to Christine.Hassler.com/panel or assist@christinehassler.com. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. And, to apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. The course is almost full.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have any nervous habits like skin-picking, nail-biting, pulling apart split ends, etc.?

  • Did you have pain inflicted upon you as a child and you felt you had no control?

  • Do you notice nervous habits emerge even in situations where you should feel safe?

  • Do you try to stop a habit by shaming yourself or making it wrong and you aren’t getting anywhere?

 

Jessica’s Question:

Jessica asks for guidance on how to break her nervous habit of skin-picking.

 

Jessica’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her skin picking interferes with her being fully present.

  • She feels anxious when she picks her skin.

  • She is a high achiever.

  • She finds it difficult to break her habit.

  • Her habit soothes her.

  • Pain was inflicted upon her which left her feeling powerless.

  • She is in the early stages of pregnancy.

  • She wished she had an emotionally present, nurturing mother.

  • Her grandfather caused her distress as a child.

  • She feels she has to put everyone else first.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Let go of the shame and judgment she has about her nervous habit.

  • Have compassion for herself.

  • Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop.

  • Get herself into the present moment as much as possible.

  • If she has the urge to pick, go ahead and pick but do it consciously.

  • Take care not to go into the martyr-mother role.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you have a nervous habit let go of your shame and judgment around it.

  • Be patient and gentle with yourself and nourish your inner child.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sep 2, 2023

If you want a simple, effective way to increase the quality of your life don't miss this episode. I've upgraded my 40 day stop-start-modify plan to support you in implementing new habits to create more calm, health, joy and prosperity in your life.

Aug 30, 2023

The essence of this coaching call is what causes inspirational blocks and the unhealthy ways we try to motivate ourselves. Today’s caller, Jo, is asking for guidance about how to tap into her inspiration. The pandemic impacted her nervous system and left her lacking the motivation to live into her purpose.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode416].

 

Often, what inspires us is the stuff that makes us mad. It doesn’t mean we need to come out with anger at people. We need to move through the anger to find the fire and the passion that lies underneath. Then, we can step into the feminine power of discernment and discover our Warrior Woman. Which is a beautiful place to be. When we do this we allow ourselves to be pulled forward by a calling and a mission, versus looking for something external to motivate us.

 

Women, in general, are not great with our anger. It leaks out in certain ways but we are not great at tapping into our rage and anger and letting it out in a healthy way. This blocks us from our passion. And if we keep suppressing our emotions, rage, and anger we will feel depressed.

 

Plus, we tend to motivate ourselves by being hard on ourselves and looking at what we think is wrong and the changes we need to make. We believe if we make ourselves miserable enough then maybe we will be motivated to make a change. That is a strategy that doesn’t work or only works for the short term. It allows our inner critic to run the show and we burn ourselves out.

 

When we realize we are not doing anything wrong and that we are living our purpose because we are learning, growing, healing, and raising our consciousness, it releases the feeling of failure.

 

If you resonate with this podcast and Christine’s style of coaching, Elementum Coaching Institute is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children, you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th. This is the final course for 2023‒2024.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you feeling a lack of inspiration?

  • Do you feel you had a setback during the pandemic and you haven’t been able to come back from it?

  • Do you want to feel like you’re making an impact, that you matter, and what you’re doing in the world matters?

  • Are you someone who benefits from connection with other people? Are you an extrovert who isn’t connecting with people enough?

 

Jo’s Question:

Jo is asking about how to find inspiration and motivation for herself and her business in the here and now.

 

Jo’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She gave up her teaching job to write a novel and build a coaching business.

  • She moved in with her parents.

  • The pandemic impacted her nervous system.

  • She has difficulty spending a lot of time by herself.

  • She wants to do something meaningful.

  • She gets overwhelmed with business tasks.

  • She is trying to motivate herself by being hard on herself.

  • She wants to be inspired by life.

  • She has finished her novel.

  • She signed a lease on an office.

  • She is an extrovert.

  • She lived with depression for a long time.

  • She longs for freedom, transparency, and truth.

  • She sees her anger as a negative.

  • She started her business after she found self-compassion.

  • She is joining Elementum Coaching.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

 

Takeaways:

  • Consider — Is there a part of you that wants to be free and believes that if you do what you want bad things will happen?

  • Get to know your anger, feel it, and understand it.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Aug 26, 2023

Elisha Tichelle is an alchemist of the nervous system for visionary leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs. Following a 20-year career as a somatic researcher and professor, Elisha now supports her clients to expand their nervous systems so their work can make a greater impact in the world - without burning out. Elisha’s facilitation guides an expansion of nervous system regulation, moving people out of operating from positions of stress and overwhelm into embodied states of flow, connection, and mastery. Elisha is the ‘behind the scenes’ priestess to some of the world's most successful and well-known coaches. Through her training program ‘Evolution,’ she guides space holders, facilitators, and coaches into integrating nervous system work in their business and life.

Aug 23, 2023

This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today’s caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn’t fully processed. Christine offers guidance.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode415].

 

There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways.

 

Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That's being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma.

 

If you’re trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you’re in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven’t had time to process because you have had to go right into action?

  • Do you often think you’re in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance?

  • Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don’t even know how to be?

  • When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality?

 

Jo’s Question:

Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control.

 

Jo’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband was in a debilitating accident.

  • She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband’s accident.

  • She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often.

  • She wants to relieve her husband’s pain.

  • She does inner child work and meditation.

  • She has a tendency to be a people pleaser.

  • She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it.

  • She hasn’t done trauma-release work.

  • Her father was strict and unpredictable.

  • She does everything for others.

  • She questions her self-worth.

  • She wants to cure her husband’s pain.

  • Her husband has accepted his physical condition.

  • She is grieving and hasn’t fully processed the incident.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine.

  • Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist.

  • Have compassion for herself.

  • Release her anger and trauma.

  • Recalibrate her nervous system.

  • Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship.

  • Accept where her husband is in his healing process.

 

Takeaways:

  • Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant?

 

Sponsor:

Milkify.me — is a concierge breast milk freeze-drying service for mothers who are breastfeeding or planning to breastfeed that transforms frozen milk into convenient pouches of powder that last for 3 years. To get $40 off your first order message @Milkify.me on Instagram or at Milkify.me and mention the code Christine.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Aug 19, 2023

In your personal development journey, you may be asking "what's the point?" You are doing all this "work" and you are not seeing the changes in your life that you desire. In this CC I answer this question and give you reassurance to keep going.

Aug 16, 2023

 

This coaching call is about how patience and compassion without clarity can lead to resentment. Today’s caller, Lucy, doesn’t feel like a priority in her partner’s life. She asks for guidance on whether the relationship is right for her or if there are too many red flags. Christine shares some skills that can help Lucy get what she wants from her relationship.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode414].

 

Consciousness isn’t just about talking about our wounding or holding space for someone when they cry. It’s about taking action that’s in integrity and alignment with who we say we are.

 

When we have a lot of emotional vulnerability or sexual intimacy and vulnerability with a man, we can mistake it for being in a conscious relationship. If you are in a dynamic where you’re having a lot of emotional intimacy, but you don’t have the consistency or the feeling of safety, it’s not as conscious as you may think. What do you need to do to make a relationship more conscious? Bring accountability, responsibility, and agreements into it.

 

Consciousness is an aspect of sacred union, and in sacred union, there’s a masculine and feminine. There is the being and the doing. We can’t just swim around in the feminine being of vulnerability, processing, and emotional intimacy without the masculine of doing, showing up, and having structure. We need both, otherwise, our inner child doesn’t feel safe.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a relationship, whether it will be romantic or otherwise, that you’re doubting or you don’t have clarity about?

  • Are you someone who has trouble asking for what you need so you ask for it in a vague, safe way?

  • Do you not feel like a priority in a relationship, or as a child?

  • Are you doubting yourself? Are you feeling some nudges and doubts about something but you’re doubting your doubts?

 

Lucy’s Question:

Lucy feels stuck when trying to discern the difference between what is a red flag and what is her intuition in a new relationship.

 

Lucy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels that this new relationship is her first adult relationship.

  • She has a hard time trusting herself.

  • Her mother didn’t trust her.

  • She and her partner are in the process of defining their relationship.

  • She wants to know if the relationship is right for her.

  • She doesn’t feel like a priority to her partner.

  • She appreciates certainty and consistency.

  • Her partner has full custody of his two children.

  • Her partner doesn’t make plans with her but asks for dates with little notice.

  • As a child, she longed for her mother’s attention.

  • She is still learning about herself and her patterns in relationship.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Propose a schedule to her partner and re-negotiate if needed.

  • Get specific about what she needs from the relationship.

 

Takeaways:

  • Where do you need to have more masculine energy in your relationships?

  • Where do you need to make clear agreements so you can feel safe?

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Aug 12, 2023
Philippa Murphy is an Infant Gut Health and Postnatal Practitioner, a Lactation Consultant, Certified Nutritional Health Coach, and an accepted trainer of Health Visitors and Feeding Specialists in the UK. As a five-time Author, with her bestselling book BabyCues Prevent and Remedy Colic, Reflux,Lactose and Dairy Overload Naturally, Philippa is also the Founder of the revolutionary BabyCues Postnatal Evolution, which encompasses Four Global Health Campaigns that are remarkably evolving postnatal education and preventative intervention. These campaigns all come from the child's perspective with the two main pathways focusing on "cue-led communication and response," and "digestive understanding and balance."
 
Get 15% off all Philippa's books and masterclasses at 
christinehassler.com/baby and use promo code ChristineAndBabyCues
Aug 9, 2023

This coaching call is about surrender and keeping hope. Today’s caller, Eva, is ready to give up hope and accept that she may never get pregnant. But her intuition is telling her that one day she will be a mother. She asks Christine for guidance and clarity about how to shift into acceptance and let go of her desire to have a baby.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode413].

 

Our drive and yearning to have a child can be due to our wanting to make our own childhood different. It is a reason why the desire to have a child can be so strong. There is an attachment to wanting to have a biological child that causes a degree of stress inside our system and it can make it harder for the body to get pregnant.

 

The body will relax when we surrender. But how do we surrender but not give up hope? Resignation is giving up and feeling that you don’t care about what happens. Surrender is more of a letting-go energy. Just handing it over to a higher power, handing it over to a source, handing it over to God, and keeping that longing and desire in your heart.

 

Oftentimes, our “soul babies” want a certain kind of clearing of generational patterns before they come in. And, our bodies strive to be healthy before they carry a baby.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you been wanting something for a long time and you keep trying but it’s not happening?

  • Have you decided to surrender, but still have some hope and it leads to an expectation hangover?

  • Were you able to fully relax and surrender as a child?

  • As a coping strategy, are you a planner? Does controlling and planning everything help you to feel safe?

 

Eva’s Question:

Eva has been trying to have a child and has not yet gotten pregnant. Her intuition tells her she will one day have a child. She is looking for guidance about how to reduce her monthly expectation hangovers.

 

Eva’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She used fertility drugs to try to get pregnant.

  • She grieved the idea of being childless.

  • Her gut tells her that one day she will become pregnant and be a mother.

  • She doesn’t want to have an expectation hangover every month when she menstruates.

  • Her planning and control is a trauma response.

  • She believes she needs to mother herself better.

  • Her mother was emotionally volatile.

  • Her mood as a child was based on the mood of her mother.

  • Her nervous system is dysregulated.

  • Her inner child wants to be held.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Surrender and let go of the attachment to having a biological child but stay open to the idea.

  • Rediscover her true essence.

  • Know that it is not her fault for not getting pregnant.

  • Give herself the childhood, and love she deserves, but never had.

  • Begin the Inner Child Workshop.

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Aug 5, 2023
Ladies, do you lean more toward being a bitch or a doormat? I know that’s not a very nice question to ask, but it’s an important one! We all have the capacity to have bitchy moments when we are impatient, snappy, cold or just a bit rude.  And we all have the capacity to have moments where we people please or let someone else walk over our boundaries. In this episode I talk about why we act this way and what we can do to change it.
 
Also, here is a link to the article I reference in the show: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/doormat-diva-alpha-female-bitch-from-hell-which-one-jodie-salt
Aug 2, 2023

This coaching call is about embracing our mother energy. Today’s caller, Davina, is a life coach struggling to attract her ideal clients. She was told that she may fear being seen, but it didn’t entirely resonate with her. During the session, she discovers that it is an inner-child wound impacting her efforts.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode412].

 

When we have blocks, when imposter syndrome comes up, or we are not attracting what we want, we can believe it is a fear of being seen. And while that may be true in many ways — many of us do have a fear of being seen and being vulnerable, but that is not always what it is. There may be something deeper that is more accurate.

 

There are inner-child, super-subconscious wounds and operating systems we develop when we are young impact our lives in various ways that we are not aware of. Whenever our reaction to something doesn’t match the circumstance in terms of severity, our inner child is triggered.

 

For anyone, especially coaches, sometimes we think we need to have great answers all the time, but if we can just hold a space of love and compassion for people in our life, that is often more powerful than any piece of advice or aha moment we can create. Often, someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have.

 

At Elementum Coaching Institute, we train epic coaches. If you resonate with this podcast and Christine’s style of coaching, this is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you believe you have a fear of being seen or is it hard to put yourself out there?

  • Are you a coach and you are having difficulty attracting the exact kind of clients you want? Do you have a childhood that involves some kind of abandonment or not a feeling really chosen by a parent?

  • Do you get angry, frustrated, or annoyed when people copy you?

 

Davina’s Question:

Davina is struggling to attract her ideal clients and is asking for guidance about her messaging efforts.

 

Davina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a life coach.

  • She is annoyed by people who copy her.

  • A coach told her she is afraid of being seen.

  • Her mother abandoned her and started a different family.

  • She had to share her mother’s attention.

  • She felt she has always had to do things on her own.

  • She feels sad and angry.

  • She grieves the loss of the relationship she had with her mother.

  • Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for her.

  • Her father wasn’t emotionally available.

  • She is vulnerable when she feels safe and supported.

  • She takes a long time to open up to people.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Know that her anger and sadness are valid and that it needs to be expressed.

  • Work with her inner child about her mother’s leaving.

  • Take the opportunity to be open and honest.

  • Give herself as much time as she needs.

  • Write down how she would coach others in a similar situation.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jul 26, 2023

This coaching call is about honoring yourself and another person by completing an unhealthy dynamic. Jade & Matthew both join this couple’s session to ask Christine for guidance about where to go in their current relationship. If you are going through a relationship breakup or if it is time to end a relationship, this episode is valuable especially if there is wounding playing out in your relationship.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode411].

 

One of the ways that we suffer most in relationship is thinking that our love will change someone. But, the opportunity to truly heal and step into their greatest potential is up to that person.

 

Oftentimes, coming together in relationship does help someone step into their fullest potential, but there’s a caveat: they have to do it. They have to want it and it has to happen quickly. If you’re in a relationship where it has been years of the other person going back to their old patterns, then you are in the cycle of them apologizing and feeling awful and you taking them back thinking things will be different. They are going to do their work and then something else happens but you see their little boy or little girl, and you love them, and this time was different and they’re really doing the work, and they’re seeing the counselor, but then they do it again. It’s just a loop. I encourage you to choose you, to love you. They need to do their healing on their own.

 

Making the choice to end, or complete, an unhealthy dynamic to heal individually is a gift we give to the other person. When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you an enabler or are you addicted to someone else enabling you?

  • Do you tend to be a little codependent or a lot codependent in relationships?

  • Do you know that you love someone so much but no matter how much you love them it’s up to them to change?

  • Are you feeling that it is time for a conscious uncoupling in your relationship?

 

Jade & Matthew’s Question:

Jade & Matthew ask for guidance about how best to heal themselves.

 

Jade & Matthew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Matthew feels relieved.

  • They separated after he returned from his travels.

  • Matthew shared his shadows with Jade.

  • Matthew became aware that he seeks validation from other women.

  • Matthew will do inner child work via therapy.

  • Jade believes it is best for them to not have contact while they are healing.

  • Jade needs to see Matthew needs to love himself.

  • Matthew wants Jade to be in his life because he feels a soul-level connection to her.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have no contact with each other for one year so they can heal themselves.

  • Use the sentence starters Christine gave them to journal about their feelings.

  • Jade needs time alone and for Matthew to respect that.

  • Take the opportunity to learn what healthy, mature love is.

 

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrared resonance, calming device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jul 22, 2023

I'm answering another question from a listener this week! She asked me to expand upon a phrase I've used in the show: leaky sexual energy. In this episode I'll describe what leaky sexual energy is, where it comes from, how to recognize it, how it impacts

Jul 19, 2023

This coaching call is about when our childhood wounding is triggered by a child. Lorena feels she has a parenting blind spot when it comes to her relationship with one of her stepchildren. She would like guidance on how to be a better stepmom and how to respond rather than react when she is triggered.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode410]

 

There are different blessings that go along with being a stepparent. But, in general, parenting can be hard. You can love a child so much but still get frustrated and triggered and then feel guilty about it. Understanding that we are human and we get triggered goes a long way.

 

Parenting is a spiritual practice. For these little beings that choose us, either as parents or step-parents, we have a soul contract. And, relationships and parenting are some of the biggest ways we evolve as humans.

 

With that said, we tend to reject people and behavior that reminds us of our wounded parts. We can have an ick factor towards it or them because we carry internal judgment and have self-protection mechanisms in place. It is much easier to love someone who doesn’t share the same wounding.

 

When we are triggered, pausing and taking the time to regulate our nervous system allows us to be in the moment and respond to children, not from the viewpoint of our inner child, but as the adults we’ve become.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Did you ever feel rejected or neglected as a child? Did you want more nurturing and love?

  • Do you have a child or a stepchild that you just don’t connect to and it bothers you, and you feel guilty because you don’t like being around that child as much as you do your other children?

  • Are you committed to being a better parent both to yourself and your inner child and your child or children?

 

Lorena’s Question:

Lorena feels she has a blind spot in her relationship with her stepchild and is asking for guidance about building a better relationship.

 

Lorena’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been a stepmother since 2016.

  • Her stepchild struggles with emotional regulation.

  • She has a baby and two stepchildren.

  • There may not have been an original mother/child bond in her stepchild’s life.

  • She doesn’t want to be around her stepchild.

  • She feels invaded and resents the extra effort it takes to nurture her stepchild.

  • Her father was an alcoholic and made inappropriate requests of her.

  • Her stepchildren are there 50% of the time.

  • Her husband looks to her to be a mature stepparent.

  • She beats herself up for her feelings toward her stepchild.

  • She didn’t get loving attention from her mother.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Tell her inner child that her father’s care wasn’t her responsibility.

  • Accept that her stepchild is a trigger for her.

  • Try seeing herself in her stepchild.

  • Pause, take a deep breath, and say — I love you, and I got you — when triggered to regulate her nervous system.

  • Do not underestimate what a nine-year-old can talk about.

  • Get in alignment with her husband about her stepparenting.

 

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jul 15, 2023
Let's talk about sex and shame and desire and pleasure! Emily Morse joins me to dive into why our sex life is so important and how to up our Sex IQ. Emily is the host of Sex with Emily, the #1 podcast on sex and relationships. She received a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institutefor the Advancement of Human Sexuality. She is a regular guest on The Today Show and The Doctors and a go-tosource on sexuality for Cosmopolitan, Bustle, and Harper’sBazaar.  She has been profiled in The New York TimesForbes,and Men’s Health.
 
You can learn more here: https://sexwithemily.com/
Jul 12, 2023

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today’s call was originally intended to be a couples session with Jade and Matthew. But, Jade has decided to exclude Matthew from the call. She describes why she made the decision. Some people can work through infidelity and have it strengthen their relationship. Other people need a clean break.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode409]

 

What can happen when we are working through trust issues and articulating our needs is that when we get to a point where we are triggered, we throw up a barrier rather than a boundary. When we are a person who hasn’t been great at boundaries in life, what can happen when we’re pushed to an edge is we can just throw up a wall.

 

Anytime we cheat, there’s a part of us that’s scared of intimacy with the person that we’re with. There are a lot of other reasons but it’s like we’re afraid to go deep with the person we’re with. There can be a pattern of not being able to be fully intimate and fully vulnerable in relationships.

 

Most things that happen to us that aren’t necessarily what we want to happen are on some level due to our soul calling in a situation to help us heal something that isn’t optimal inside of us.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you often not hold boundaries to the extent of when you’re pushed to an edge a wall and barrier comes up?

  • Have you tried to forgive someone and tried to heal through relationships but you just keep getting hurt?

  • Do you have a hard time trusting?

  • Do you beat yourself up when you’ve been hurt because you think you should have seen it coming?

 

Jade’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She found it difficult to trust Matthew as he traveled.

  • She felt like he was hiding information from her.

  • She has decided that she can’t be in the relationship any longer.

  • She felt energetically that things were off.

  • She wants a healthy relationship in the future.

  • She has questioned her truth when it comes to Matthew.

  • She needs transparency in her relationships.

  • She has a pattern of not being fully vulnerable and intimate in relationships.

  • She thought she would feel enough if someone changed for her.

  • She felt this relationship will help her heal from her previous relationship.

  • She wishes her mom was emotionally supportive and less reactive.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Examine her trust issues and why she continues to be in relationships with people she doesn’t trust.

  • Forgive Matthew without continuing the relationship with him.

  • Create emotional safety for herself.

  • Don’t waste her time thinking she “should” have known sooner.

  • Trust herself and give herself time to grieve without beating herself up.

  • Get clear about her boundaries in a relationship and write them out.

 

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jul 9, 2023

Anger. We all feel it at some point or another. It's a natural human emotion and expression. However the way we deal with our anger often is very unnatural. We suppress it, numb it, try to escape it or let it consume us so much so that it can make us sick and/or ruin our relationships. In this episode I talk about how to release anger in a healthy way and walk you through the process of writing an f*** you letter.

Jul 5, 2023

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today’s caller, Matthew, has childhood trauma that is affecting his adult behaviors. He wants to continue his relationship with Jade but struggles with self-worth and trust. This is the second of three conversations. In next week’s call, Christine speaks with Matthew and Jade during the couple’s session. Listen to Part One with Jade.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode408]

 

Most of the time people don’t act out intentionally to hurt other people, they’re acting out because they’re asking for help, even if it doesn’t seem like it. When we have chronic trauma it is very hard for us to be aware of how it is affecting our behavior.

 

When we look at behavior, especially something like unfaithfulness or cheating, if we just look at the behavior we can get angry. Angry at ourselves and angry at the person. We may call it unforgivable, and maybe it is. But when we look at what is underneath the behavior, what’s really driving the behavior, it can give us a different perspective and move us into compassion and ultimately forgiveness.

 

Compassion and forgiveness offer hope that a relationship can be healed.

 

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Apply by July 10th to get the early bird discount.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you struggle with self-worth issues?

  • Have you ever been unfaithful or have you been in a relationship where someone has betrayed you, lied to you, or been unfaithful to you?

  • Did you grow up in a home where there was abuse and chaos and you never really felt worthy or loved or safe?

  • Are you on a personal discovery journey and you’re clear that you’re changing things but the people around you may not believe you and that can be frustrating?

 

Matthew’s Question:

Matthew struggles with self-worth and trust issues. He would like guidance on how to find internal validation and create a safe space for Jade.

 

Matthew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He lied, manipulated, and cheated during the relationship but, that’s not who he wants to be.

  • He feels Jade is having trouble trusting him again.

  • He has trouble trusting Jade.

  • He wants to heal his past traumas.

  • He wants to feel loved, cared for, trusted, and secure in his relationship.

  • He feels his needs can be met.

  • He is on a self-discovery journey.

  • He has always felt he was insignificant and had to fight for love.

  • He has witnessed infidelity and abuse in his life.

  • He is working on forgiving himself.

  • He seeks external validation, mostly from women.

  • He is seeking out ways to bring joy into his life.

  • He is becoming aware of the energy he shares with women.

  • He has an anxious attachment style in his relationships.

  • He is in awe of who Jade is and sees potential in their relationship.

  • He loves Jade but he feels he is under attack.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Find ways to feel expressed, worthy, and validated.

  • Discover what being a man means to him.

  • Talk to an outside resource about his childhood wounding.

  • Breathe deeply to calm himself when he feels defensive.

  • Have compassion for himself and the things he feels shame about.

 

Assignment:

  • Write out the agreements he needs to make in the new version of this relationship.

  • Write down the needs he would like to have met in a relationship.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

 

Jul 1, 2023

Dr. Will Cole, health advisor to Gwyneth Paltrow, top functional medicine practitioner, and New York Times bestselling author has dedicated his career to teaching people to apply skepticism to nutritional trends and instead, pay closer attention to their own intuition.

His new book, GUT FEELINGS, demystifies the gut-brain connection and provides a framework to repair the relationship between what you eat and how you feel.

After over a decade as a functional medicine expert, Dr. Cole discerned that shame can cause gut inflammation and sabotage wellness through what he’s named “Shameflammation.” When you send signals to your brain that you are overwhelmed, overworked, or overtired, your body reacts. Shameflammation can be the cause of chronic health conditions such as autoimmune disorders, depression, IBS, and more.

Jun 28, 2023

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today’s caller, Jade, has recently been brought back together with someone she loves but whom she left because he betrayed her. This session is the first of three conversations. In next week’s call, Christine speaks with Jade’s partner.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode407]

 

When we are betrayed and we are cheated on, of course, we feel anger and hurt, it was an awful thing to have happened, and we get to be mad and angry at the other person. But if we hold on to those things for too long then we’re the ones who continue to hurt ourselves.

 

For many people, infidelity or any kind of betrayal is a deal breaker and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes there are so many other things leading up to the betrayal or infidelity that, of course, do not excuse it, but also contribute to why there might be an opening for forgiveness and an opportunity to rebuild the relationship from a fresh start. When it comes to infidelity or betrayal, it’s not a black-and-white topic.

 

Forgiveness is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight and it is not something we can do just with our mind. We need to do it with our hearts and our somatic body. We need to move through those emotions of anger, sadness, hurt, and shame to get to a place of — “How do I really feel about this situation, and is my heart open to repair?”

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or have you been cheated on?

  • What do you define as betrayal?

  • Have you gotten clear inside your mind, inside your heart, and with your partner on what is a betrayal and what the agreements are in your relationship?

  • If you have let someone back into your life after betrayal, have you been able to trust again or have you always been looking over your shoulder?

  • Have you always lived with a sense of really not getting your needs met?

 

Jade’s Question:

Jade is having trouble navigating trust in a rekindled relationship that ended through betrayal and infidelity. She would like guidance on how to move past the betrayal to build a new relationship.

 

Jade’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • After one year, her relationship ended with betrayal.

  • Both she and her partner are doing work to rekindle the relationship.

  • She is doing inner work to recognize when she is triggered.

  • She loves her partner and recognizes the humanness in the betrayal.

  • She fears self-betrayal by letting him back into her life.

  • She knows letting him back into her life will be challenging.

  • She doesn’t know if she can ever trust him again.

  • There was dishonesty in her past relationships.

  • She felt not enough in her childhood home and didn’t feel safe.

  • Her mother did not validate or reassure her.

  • She hasn’t felt safe in her relationships.

  • She is hyper-vigilant.

  • She is leaning into the discomfort of the situation.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Put prevention plans and agreements in place to start with a blank slate to create safety for herself in the relationship.

  • Know that whatever happens, she is going to be okay.

  • Find a place to process her feelings with someone else besides her partner.

  • Do not worry about other people’s guilt and shame.

  • Release her fear and regulate her nervous system.

 

Assignment:

  • Write about trust and what it means to her.

  • Write out the agreements that need to be made to move forward in the relationship.

 

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrasound resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

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