Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestseller Set Boundaries, Find Peace. A licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for more than fifteen years. Tawwab has appeared as an expert on The Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning, to name a few. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Good Life Project, Sofia with an F, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family. For more information, see nedratawwab.com.
This coaching call is about breaking habitual patterns that are no longer needed. Today’s caller, Jenny, is having completely different reactions to different situations. She asks for guidance on how to be consistent in all areas of her life and change her attachment style. Christine discovers that it is not so much about her attachment styles but about the story she tells herself in different situations.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode447].
For those of us who experienced a trauma, or when the worst happened or we got in trouble for something, a neural pathway in our minds created a belief that expecting something bad to happen at any moment prepares us for future traumas and the accompanying shock. The shock is what makes trauma stay in our bodies because when we think everything’s fine, and something happens, our system is surprised. It becomes an imprint in our psyche, subconscious, emotional body, and our nervous system. Neural nets create unconscious patterns. When we are triggered we are hijacked by our subconscious.
As we grow and develop we have to update our survival strategies. So many of our survival strategies were formed when we were young. They are outdated. We have updated almost every other tool we use in our lives, yet we haven’t updated our survival strategies. When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern.
If you have a situation where you are bracing, expecting the worst, or getting nervous, do whatever it takes to regulate your nervous system. Take deep breaths and pause to break the habit.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you feel like you’re a different person in different situations?
Are your reactions sometimes much bigger than a situation warrants?
Do you often prepare yourself for the worst even though usually the worst doesn’t happen?
As a kid, was there a part of you that felt like you were in trouble, and that you didn’t get things right?
Jenny’s Question:
Jenny would like guidance about why her reactions are different in different situations.
Jenny’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She feels she reacts differently to things at work, in relationships, and when with friends and family.
Her relationship with her parents has changed since childhood.
She often gets anxious at work and feels that she will be in trouble.
She remembers getting in trouble with her father when she didn’t do something right.
She wants validation and love from her father.
She doesn’t feel good enough at work.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
When triggered, regulate her system by putting a hand on her heart and her belly and saying “I’m not in trouble. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Where is she telling herself she isn’t enough?
Give herself compassion and commitment. Don’t give up!
Takeaway:
When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern and update your survival strategy.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about giving ourselves the love we deserve. Today’s caller, Nicole, is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself. She feels something is missing in her life because she didn’t receive love from her parents. Christine offers guidance on how she can change her story and start loving herself.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode446].
Is it possible to give ourselves unconditional love 100% of the time? Is it possible to be loving to ourselves most of the time and catch ourselves when we are not?
When we don't get the love we want, or need from our parents we can flip into the victim archetype easily. It is the subconscious way we try to get love for ourselves.
The challenge with loving ourselves the way we love other people is so pervasive. There is an epidemic of people who don't feel that they are enough in some way. Whether the feeling came from inside our childhood home or outside of it, it reinforced that limiting belief.
Love is our essence. It's naturally who we all are. But we move out of love and more into fear and judgment as we age. A practice we can do to be unconditionally loving to ourselves is to keep trying and keep showing up for ourselves. When we notice that we're not being loving to ourselves, when we're in judgment, fear, criticism, or shame, we can acknowledge it and bring ourselves back to love.
Press your hand on your heart and say “I am loved.” Press your hand on your belly and say “I am safe.“
Are you interested in meeting Christine at a live event in Austin? Go to ChristineHassler.com/LiveEvent answer a few questions and offer feedback about your interest in attending. The event will be introvert AND extrovert friendly.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you feel unconditionally loved as a child, and if you didn't, are you sad and angry about it?
Did you find it hard to give yourself the love you so easily give others, especially a child or a partner?
Do you struggle with being kind to yourself?
Do you wish that you could have had the childhood that other children have or that your children have?
Nicole’s Question:
Nicole is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself.
Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Her son is autistic.
She gives her son an abundance of love and affection.
She believes her son chose her.
She feels sad.
She was not given unconditional love as a child.
She feels anger toward her parents for the love she didn’t get.
She feels there is a big missing piece in her life.
She has worked hard to not be a people pleaser and not to seek validation from others.
She shares her mother’s love for nature with her son.
She wants to nurture a spiritual relationship with her parents.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Grieve and release feelings of rage or sadness.
Embrace the love she is getting.
Take the opportunity to parent herself as she parents her child.
Feel gratitude in place of sadness.
Step out of victim and into integration and application.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Brandy Gillmore is a researcher and mind-body healing expert who has been captivating audiences worldwide with her incredible ability to demonstrate radical healing using only the mind.
Brandy's groundbreaking discoveries stemmed from her own debilitating injury. After an accident in 2003 left her disabled, in excruciating pain, and without hope of recovery, Brandy began searching for a cure. Through years of exploring every avenue for healing, Brandy eventually discovered obscure research that changed the course of her life and resulted in a complete recovery.
Now, she is releasing her brand-new cutting-edge book, Master Your Mind and Energy to Heal Your Body, where she shares the hidden research that is the key to her success!
This coaching call is about how to have a conscious conversation when anger is present. Today’s caller, Megan, values growth and communication, yet she gets triggered when her husband needs space during tense conversations. She asks Christine for guidance on how to process her anger and have conscious conversations in her relationship.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode445].
No one communicates well when anger is present because we are in a completely different part of our brains. The part of the brain that anger resides in is ready to fight and do damage. When we are in that part of our brain we don’t make the best choices. We are not in the part of our brain that accesses empathy, being resourced, cognitive functioning, and rationality. None of those skills are accessible when we are in anger.
Those of us who have done a lot of personal development work can sometimes have high expectations and high standards of how we should communicate and how other people should communicate with us. We need to remember that we are human. When we are in an argument, or we are not in a regulated state, it is difficult to consciously remind ourselves to use non-violent communication or to take a breath and release the anger in a healthy way or take some space.
Expecting ourselves to have amazing, empowered conversations when we are triggered is not an easy task. Because anger is a fiery, active energy that needs an outlet. If it isn’t given a safe outlet or isn’t expressed it will do other things.
Christine and Stefanos will be in Vancouver Canada during July and August 2024. If you would like to attend a reset workshop, or guided event contact Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be conscious when you are in an argument?
Is anger a trigger for you? When someone gets angry, do you go into a trauma response, or do you fight, flight, or freeze?
What is your attachment style?
Growing up, were you shown how to deal with big feelings in a healthy way?
Megan’s Question:
Megan would like guidance about communication when anger is present and her husband needs space.
Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She and her husband value growth and communication.
When anger is present she forgets her healthy communication skills.
She beats herself up for letting anger take over.
She goes into an anxious attachment style when she gets angry.
Her husband needs space to regulate when anger comes up.
She didn’t see much anger in her childhood.
Her grandfather had anger issues.
Her parents didn’t express their emotions.
She fears losing connection and love.
A past boyfriend had a pattern of love-bombing her and then pulling away.
She is not comfortable with big feelings.
She uses sarcasm to express anger.
She is ready to practice Christine’s guidance.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Forgive herself for dropping into judgment.
Take a deep breath and have a temper tantrum when she feels triggered to regulate her nervous system.
When her husband needs space, actively release her anger.
Remind herself that her husband taking space is not him leaving the relationship.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Suzy Ashworth is a single mum of three children, high school dropout, Hay House author, international keynote speaker, multiple seven-figure success coach, and serial entrepreneur on a mission. She has worked with 1000’s of impact driven leaders in business to create quantum shifts in their lives and their businesses over the last 10 years and Her vision is to help people receive more of what they want - without sacrificing who they really are or the people that love through the four pillars of Infinite Receiving.
This coaching call is about how being authentic attracts things most in alignment with what we want. Today’s caller, Lisa, wants to call in a committed relationship. She feels her life choices may be keeping her from finding a partner. She asks for guidance about how to call in the partner she desires.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode444].
One of our superpowers as women is that we are highly adaptable and it can be a beautiful asset. But, it can also serve as a liability because, often, we think we need to adapt ourselves to get a man or to not scare someone off.
Anytime we become adaptable to try and align with a partner we contract our true selves. Our adaptability becomes a shadow side of our superpower because it doesn’t feel super powerful to contract ourselves and to be something we are not.
Our unresolved issues from childhood, basically the beliefs and patterns we carry around, are one of the biggest blocks to calling in the relationship we desire. Doing inner child work is the foundation for us to be our authentic selves.
Being our authentic selves and living in alignment with who we truly are is the shift that will bring in the kind of partner that is in the most perfect alignment with us.
Are you a woman who wants to call in an epic relationship? In the Fall of 2024, Christine and Stefanos are hosting another amazing Be the Queen program with live monthly coaching calls, group support, guided meditations, and breathwork. To get access to the early bird benefits sign up at ChristineHassler.com/Queen.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you been trying to strategically date or strategically do something to get what you want, and it is not working?
Do you think that the way you are isn’t going to get you what you want?
Are you somebody who does things differently and thinks that you need to change to get what you want?
Do you trust that you can receive what you want?
Lisa’s Question:
Lisa wants to be in a committed relationship but feels her life choices are keeping her from finding a partner.
Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She moved to a different city to leave a toxic relationship.
She believed the universe had a plan when she met another person but it didn’t work out.
She is nomadic.
She wants a committed relationship but struggles in partnership.
She is sad and feels stuck.
She has a scarcity mindset.
She feels she is on a constant mission to find a partner.
She is an introvert.
She is not being authentic to who she is.
In childhood, she had to perform to get affection.
She doubts herself.
She doesn’t want a partner who is tied to one place.
She enjoys being by herself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Consider what her version of stability is.
Lean into who she authentically is.
Stop focusing on the void she feels.
Start energetically bringing in her ideal partner.
Sponsor:
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Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their red juice helps promote energy with zero caffeine. It has a clinical dose of cordyceps, natural herbs, and antioxidants. It only takes 30 seconds to prep. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off, or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is overcoming the blocks that keep us from achieving goals. Today’s caller, Hannah Jade, feels her past decisions are holding her back from achieving her financial goals. She would like to understand the root cause of her block and how she can pursue her goals without conditions.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode443].
Ideally, there should be consistency in a child’s life so they can focus on learning who they are, independent of their parents, and learn to take the initiative to have a sense of power and purpose in the world.
Our childhood doesn’t have to define us or limit us. When we find the root cause and help our inner child get what they didn’t get, have the developmental leap that they didn’t have at that time, then it’s like our past doesn’t have to keep presenting itself in our present.
There is so much other work we can do around mind shifts and beliefs, and the work is powerful. When we combine it with inner child work and understanding what happens to us developmentally and what needs we needed to be met at certain times in our lives, it can help us make profound shifts faster.
Combining inner child work with mindset work is a great recipe for experiencing transformation in our lives.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you ever find that you can’t seem to make your dreams happen?
Do you feel ashamed when it comes to buying a house, getting married, or other milestone goals?
Do you have debt you are ashamed of?
Did you have some hard times in your childhood that may be impacting your life now?
Hannah Jade’s Question:
Hannah Jade feels her financial goals aren’t attainable. She asks for guidance on how to make her goals feel possible.
Hannah Jade’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She feels her past choices are holding her back.
She is loving herself through her experiences.
She experienced a lot of changes during her childhood.
She didn’t have heavy trauma but she had many inconsistencies.
She shied away from things she wanted to explore.
She feels safe with people who are grounded.
She has initiative but doubts her abilities.
She has a strong connection with her inner child.
She feels buying a home will fill her up with happiness.
She feels she has stagnant or sluggish energy at times.
She may have gone into debt to feel more connected.
She is an entrepreneur.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Ask little Hannah Jade what she needs to be comfortable with taking initiatives.
Create a bedtime routine for herself to support her inner child.
Prioritize connections and intentions with herself.
Treat herself and her debt with tenderness.
Sponsor:
Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models. Podcast listeners get a free three-year warranty!
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Alexandra Roxo is an artist, bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and transformational coach. She has been featured as a guest speaker on many renowned podcasts and at numerous festivals and events worldwide, and she has been featured in multiple TV appearances, including two seasons of Netflix’s hit show Too Hot to Handle. Her work has also been featured in the New York Times, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, the Guardian, Nylon, and Playboy. For more, visit alexandraroxo.com.
This coaching call is about attraction in healthy relationships. Today’s caller, Stephanie, feels she is in a wonderful relationship but it lacks the spark of chemistry. She would like to know whether or not it will ever exist. She doesn’t realize how much her little girl is impacting her relationship, specifically the sexual attraction and intimacy aspect.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode442].
One of the reasons sex and attraction are easier in relationships that aren’t super conscious and healthy is because we feel it is the only way we can connect to the other person. When we connect on conscious, intimate levels or we aren’t coming from our wounded self, it can be overwhelming. To add sexuality into that, can often feel like too much. On some level, we withhold part of ourselves.
Projecting our unmet childhood needs on a partner is one of the ways we kill polarity. The safety we need from another person from an adult perspective is different from the safety our inner child needs. The agreements we have from parent to child are different from partner-to-partner agreements.
In healthy long-term relationships, it does take effort and intention because we don’t have the initial chemistry and we don’t have the dysfunction of the drama of unmet need attachment. If we are in a dynamic where our partners give us the things we didn’t get from our parents, it can kill the spark. Just being in a relationship for a while can also lessen the spark.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you been in a relationship where there is a lot of love but not a lot of lust?
Is there a part of you that believes you can’t have chemistry, safety, consciousness, and love?
How was intimacy modeled for you as a child? Was a healthy, affectionate, romantically intimate relationship modeled for you?
Stephanie’s Question:
Stephanie feels she is in a great relationship but the spark of sexual attraction is missing. She would like to know why.
Stephanie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She is in a relationship with someone who shares similar goals and interests.
They are both en route to be coaches.
There hasn’t been a lot of sexual attraction in their relationship.
Her previous sexual attraction to others may have been her inner child attachment.
She is unsure if she wants an “out” from the relationship.
She feels that being vulnerable and intimate is not 100% safe.
She wasn’t able to be herself when she was young.
She fears her partner will leave if she reveals herself fully.
Her mother was ill during most of her childhood.
She has not yet learned to be intimate with someone safe and to whom she can be connected.
She wants to feel safe.
Inconsistency and uncertainty scare her.
Her inner child is working to get her attention.
She has been in a survival pattern.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Lean into having sex and intimacy from a mature perspective.
Join the Reconnect Inner Child Course.
Get clear about the needs of her inner child.
Be clear about what her needs in partnership are.
Get the free download for couples from ChristineHassler.com/sacredunion.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is a beautiful example of when we are so in our heads that we cannot hear the truth of our intuition. Today’s caller, Kara, feels she is compatible with her partner but that no chemistry exists between them. She asks Christine for guidance in making the decision to stay or go.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode441].
If you are thinking about leaving a relationship, have you shifted and shown up in the best way possible? There is a difference between talking about what is wrong with your partner and the things you want them to change, and actually being the change that could encourage their transformation. When we become the change and our partner still doesn’t meet us, then it makes our decision-making much clearer.
If we keep going back and forth about something, we don’t have clarity or we fear dropping into clarity. When making a decision, does deciding one way or another provide you with relief? If you don’t experience relief, what is going through your mind, or what story are you telling yourself that keeps you from making a decision? When we don’t have clarity, part of us knows that our triggers and patterns are at play. When we take responsibility for our side and we clean up our side of the street, then we can make the decision with clarity.
And, ladies remember that feminine energy is more than being affectionate and being a vixen. That is surface-level feminine. True feminine energy is about leaning into being a queen, making self-honoring choices, and trusting our discernment.
Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect or support@ChristineHassler.com. Participants also get access to a year of live, monthly group coaching calls. Get $500 off when you use the promo code “child”.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you trying to make a decision and you can do pro/con lists and talk yourself in or out of it?
Do you feel like you are over-masculine are over-feminine and you want to be more balanced?
When there’s tension or conflict in a relationship do you use “I” language or do you blame and project onto your partner, expecting them to change?
Is your changing, reacting, and responding bringing out change and transformation in your partner, or are you reinforcing the behavior that you don’t like and want to change?
Kara’s Question:
Kara doesn’t know if she should leave her relationship and is having difficulty hearing her intuition.
Kara’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Her partner wants to work things out.
She has broken the relationship off several times.
She and her partner do shadow work.
They are compatible but have no chemistry.
She wants to trust her intuition but goes back and forth about it.
They spend a lot of time together.
She compares other relationships to hers.
She tries to justify her choice.
She creates emotional distance when there is a disagreement.
She is not relaxed in her relationship.
Her masculine energy comes through in relationship.
She wants a man with healthy masculine energy.
She is comfortable in control.
She feels her relationship is a personal development course.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Stop the back-and-forth.
Consider the way she shows up in relationship.
Lean into her feminine and her discernment and make decisions from there.
Sponsor:
Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their green juice helps reduce stress, resets your morning with a clinical dose of ashwagandha, and supports healthy cortisol levels. It only takes 30 seconds to prep. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about why we play out childish patterns even though we are adults. Today’s caller, Caitlyn, lost her father as a teenager and still shames herself for the decisions she made shortly after. Christine walks her through the empty chair process so she can talk with her father about her feelings and actions.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode440].
Many of us can relate to doing things in our adult lives without understanding why we are doing them. We are often aware of what we are doing and we know better, but we can’t seem to change our behavior. That is our inner child repeating a pattern from when a trauma was formed. Plus, when we feel shame about something, it can make us want to isolate and not ask for help.
When we have a big trauma like losing our primary parent, or someone we are extremely close to, a part of our psyche gets frozen at that age. And, oftentimes, when we go through any type of loss we go into survival and we don’t give ourselves the time to grieve. If there is a loss you haven’t fully processed, you are encouraged to create a ceremony or set up an environment to help you fully grieve.
Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you find yourself doing things that are immature and you are not proud of yet you can't seem to stop?
Did you have a trauma in your teenage years that is still impacting you on some level?
Do you have regret, judgment, and shame about how you acted or reacted to things?
Have you lost someone you love and would like to reconnect with them?
Caitlyn’s Question:
Caitlyn struggles with telling untruths to the people who love and care about her. She asks for guidance on how to change her behavior.
Caitlyn’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She stretches the truth and is embarrassed by it.
She is 6-years clean from alcohol and drugs.
She recently joined a fellowship.
She feels shame and avoids people.
She thinks people won’t like her if she is her true self.
Her father passed away when she was in high school.
She believes her father would be ashamed of her actions.
She is scared that she has ruined her life.
She may be frozen in time emotionally.
She hasn’t fully grieved her father.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Do the empty chair process and have a conversation with her father.
Realize she did the best she could given the circumstances.
Grieve the loss of her father.
Forgive herself for the decisions she made when she was 15.
Sponsor:
Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any water purifier.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
In this quickie episode Christine talks about the distinction between being strong and enduring. Often we are praised (and even praise ourselves) for being strong when in actuality we've just endured really hard stuff but suppressing and pushing through. True strength comes from allowing ourselves to completely fall apart. Listen in for more!
This coaching call is about why we stay in relationships that are not for our highest good and how to have the courage to get out of them. Today’s caller, Em, has been married for four years. Both she and her partner have faltered in their commitments during that time. She asks Christine for guidance on whether or not to stay in the relationship.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode439].
As adults, we are attracted to different versions of our parents because the inner child is always seeking out resolution from our childhood wounding. Until we work on understanding where our subconscious programming comes from and why we choose what we choose, we continue the patterning until we can heal our inner child and give ourselves what we didn’t get in childhood.
When we eventually get to forgiveness, we are able to stop harboring guilt and shame. So when we do make mistakes, we can make clear agreements with ourselves to move forward in making better decisions for ourselves from a healed place.
And, when it comes to leaving any relationship, there is going to be a mixture of grief and relief. It’s totally natural. Grief passes when we are making decisions based on our highest good.
Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, take advantage of early bird pricing and join Christine for a bonus call to begin your 10-week journey. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.
Em’s Question:
Em is having issues in her relationship and would like to regain the stability to feel love again.
Em’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She has been married for four years.
Her relationship has lost its spark and intimacy.
She is lonely.
There is infidelity on both sides of the relationship.
She is self-sabotaging.
She is out of alignment with her values.
She wants stability in her relationship.
Her father cheated on her mother.
She is attracted to partners that remind her of her father.
Her mother was controlling and critical during her childhood.
Her partner is not willing to make changes.
Making clear decisions can be difficult for her.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Decide how much longer she is going to fight for her father’s love.
Trust herself and choose herself.
Be clear with her wife about where she is and what she needs to see if she is willing to show up for her.
Sponsor:
Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their gold blend helps the nervous system and the green and red juices are daily treats for people on the go. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To upgrade your kitchenware in style and design, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit for 10% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about believing you can have what you want. Today’s caller, Rebecca, grew up wondering if her mother’s love was conditional. She asks for guidance on how to believe she can get what she wants without her life always being one way or the other. This episode will resonate with you if you fear being disappointed and believe you are limited in what you can have in your life.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode438].
It is important that we challenge our thinking and realize when we are in either/or, then eliminate it. There are often many more options than we think there are. A lot of it comes from growing up in fear-based environments. When we grow up when there is dysregulation, very little reassurance, or when adults are not leading the family, and inconsistent messaging, there is a desire for certainty and we have a limited view of our possibilities. It also happens when we grow up in a strict household, or highly intellectual household where there isn’t a lot of room for creativity and imagination.
Do you engage in either/or thinking? Do you settle for something because you don’t believe you can have what you want?
When we believe we can have what we want and we settle into those places, we don’t have the fears that come with the limiting belief that we don’t deserve it or are not capable of it in some way.
We don’t need to be afraid of disappointment. Regret is way worse than risk. When we play it safe and we settle, we end up with regret.
Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Were you parentified as a child?
Were there mixed messages in your home? Maybe, you felt loved but if you made a mistake, you doubted the love.
Do you believe you can have what you want?
Do you fear disappointment that you end up settling for things?
Rebecca’s Question:
Rebecca is bouncing between states of being when making life decisions.
Rebecca’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She is in survival mode when trying to make decisions.
She feels low when she finally makes a decision.
She is an emotionally sensitive person.
She had to make sure her mother was doing well.
Her mother was inconsistent about giving her love.
She is in a relationship with someone who isn’t clear about how he feels about her.
She doesn’t believe she can get what she wants.
She dreads sharing her joy with her family.
She has unprocessed anger and guilt.
She wants to punish her family.
She doesn’t fully apply herself to any one thing.
She puts herself last.
She tries to avoid disappointment.
She believes she is unlovable.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Take action while believing she can have everything she wants.
Check in with herself several times a day to see what she wants.
Being disappointed is okay.
Challenge her either/or thinking.
Join the Inner Child Journey to Joy workshop.
Sponsor:
Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their gold blend helps the nervous system and the green and red juices are daily treats for people on the go. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Today I unpack how your childhood imprinted your nervous system and mind which informs how you experience stress, anxiety and overwhelm. If you ever feel frustrated that you experience these feelings so often and/or so intensely, don't miss this episode!
This coaching call is about getting out of our heads and into our bodies. Today’s caller, Ivy, had to suppress her natural inclinations as a child and she doesn’t feel safe in her body. She asks Christine for guidance around releasing the blocks to get what she wants from life. This session is extremely helpful if you relate to being in your head, or cognitive, or thinking more than feeling your way through things.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode437].
As children, we internalize and amplify the voice and the messages of our parents and that is what becomes our inner voice, or inner critic. And, often, why we don’t feel safe in our bodies because we left our bodies at a very young age due to not feeling safe. We didn’t feel safe to be ourselves, and we didn’t feel safe mentally or emotionally.
There are so many things we do to protect ourselves. And what often happens is we hurt ourselves more. But until we realize so much of what we’re doing is protective patterning and until we find another way to “protect” ourselves, we keep doing the things that make us feel safe even if they aren’t the healthiest things for us. It is so deeply healing to get into our body and communicate with our inner child.
Remember, working with a coach or therapist is great, but it can be helpful if the person you are working with has struggled with similar things you are struggling with.
Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you have trouble getting out of your head into your body?
Have you been told to do somatic work or body-based practices but you just can’t seem to do it?
Do you have a fierce inner critic?
Do you carry a lot of shame?
Ivy’s Question:
Ivy would like guidance on how to remove the blocks that are keeping her from taking action to get where she wants to be.
Ivy’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She is in therapy.
She thinks she may have a block due to body shaming.
She is unable to identify how she feels.
She thinks she is emotionally unavailable.
She finds it difficult to express her anger.
She feels she is not worthy.
She struggles with using her internal compass.
She criticizes herself.
She has inner child wounding.
She would like to get out of her head.
She was shamed for being emotionally expressive as a child.
She doesn’t feel safe in her body.
She fears people will see her as messy and unlovable.
She had to suppress herself as a child.
She is committed to her healing.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Find her passionate parental voice.
Know that she is worthy.
Do inner child work. Possibly Journey to Joy.
Find things that work for her, not just what she is told to do.
Commit to loving herself and giving herself the childhood she didn’t have.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about grief and guilt about past choices. Today’s caller, Michelle, is doing her best to navigate through the guilt and shame she feels about a decision she made. This is a beautiful conversation that can be triggering for a lot of reasons. Please listen with an open heart, open mind, and compassion. We all can relate on some level to making decisions we regret, or are not proud of, or that we feel shame or guilt around.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode436].
With any choice, it is easier to look into the past from where we are now and evaluate the choice and wish we had done something differently. We have an amazing ability to judge and punish ourselves for a decision we made in the past. When truly we were making the best decision we could at the time.
If you have shame, guilt, or regret over a choice you made, how is that serving you? What is the guilt doing? How much longer do you want to punish yourself?
Eventually, we have to let the guilt go and get to forgiveness because unless you have a time machine there is no way to change it. The only thing we can do is move forward.
When a person, especially a mother, is taking care of their health and making decisions that are most in alignment with their truth, it benefits their child.
Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you made a choice that you have shame or guilt about?
Are you trying to justify a decision you have made?
Is there a part of you that doesn’t feel safe and secure?
Can you get out of your head, your beliefs, or your judgments and allow your heart to open to feel what you need to feel?
Michelle’s Question:
Michelle is asking for guidance on how to release the grief she feels about terminating her pregnancy.
Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Michelle terminated her unexpected pregnancy last year.
She felt she was abandoning her inner child.
Her young-woman energy was not ready to have a child.
She feels unworthy, unsafe, and insecure.
She wants one day to step into motherhood but wants to release her grief first.
She knows the pregnancy came into her life for a reason.
She knows she made the best decision for her.
She’s been trying to connect with the soul because she didn’t during her pregnancy.
She was not ready to be a mother.
She knows she is worthy but finds it difficult to embody it.
She wants to let go of things that don’t serve her.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Know that taking care of ourselves is the best thing for our children.
It is time to deal with her inner child wound.
Grieve without the story and the justification.
Ask the child what it was there to teach her.
Create safety and security for herself.
Check out Byron Katie’s “The Work.”
She is worthy of love.
Trust her decisions.
Join the Journey to Joy inner child workshop.
Prepare to consciously conceive with love.
Takeaways:
Where are you not making self-honoring choices in the name of love?
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To upgrade your kitchenware in style and design, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit for 10% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about removing blocks. Today’s caller, Matt, has fears related to starting a new entrepreneurial business based on childhood wounding. Christine offers guidance about how he can release his self-protective mechanisms and fears of not being worthy of success.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode435].
There are life-changing repercussions from significant childhood events where we felt shame, were not seen, or were not loved for who we are. Those events can create conscious and subconscious blocks because deep down our inner child believes something is wrong with them.
Many of us don’t get to where we want to go in life because we haven’t healed the origin wound that is holding us back.
We can get critical of the ways we believe we are sabotaging ourselves. But in reality, we are not sabotaging ourselves, we are protecting ourselves. The next time you notice yourself procrastinating or making excuses, put your hand on your heart and remember that it is just a form of self-protection and that you are safe to express yourself because you are an adult now and you’ve got this.
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Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos in February. Sign up at christinehassler.com/joy
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Was there an event in your life that has dramatically impacted how you see yourself and how you see the world?
Is there something you want to do, maybe a career you want to step into or a relationship you want to take to the next level but you’re terrified?
Do you fear rejection?
Do you fear getting your heart broken, so much so that you don’t go after the things you want?
Matt’s Question:
Matt has blocks around starting a video production business.
Matt’s Key Insights and Ahas:
He has a day job.
He had an HIV diagnosis that changed his trajectory.
He runs a support group for others with HIV.
He fears that something will go wrong when he tries something new.
He is in a two-year relationship.
He has a block around planning for the future.
He has childhood wounds around being who he is.
He has a lot of awareness about his blocks.
He’s been incorporating inner child work into his life.
He wants to get his website up and running but he is stalling and making excuses.
He has time management concerns around starting a new business.
He loves video editing and being creative.
He acknowledges it is OK to have fears.
He is ready to make a change.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Change his language when talking about his fears and protective patterns.
Don’t get frustrated with the protective part of his psyche.
Completely accept himself for who he is.
Know he is lovable.
Get a picture of himself as a teen and use it as a tool to follow his “why.”
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.