Over It And On With It

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CC: Compassion is a Requirement for Health with Dr. Nzinga Harrison 0

Jan 16, 2021

This episode is a hug for your mind and your heart. Well-respected physician and educator, Dr. Nzing Harrison joins Christine to speak about how to cope with all the stress of this year, why compassion is a requirement for your brain and health, how to identify and deal with addiction or unhealthy coping strategies and SO much more. Dr. Harrison is the Chief Medical Officer and Co-Founder of Eleanor Health, a value-based provider of compassionate, comprehensive, outpatient addiction treatment. Approachable and energetic, she has been known to explain medical concepts with an ease and humor that results in her audiences developing understanding of difficult material while having a good time doing it! She has written and presented several articles and workshops on the medical aspects of addiction and other psychiatric disorders, and has consulted on the same topics both nationally and internationally. Despite the credentials, she prides herself on being a regular ol’ person who loves regular ol’ people. She will tell you the most important accomplishment of her life is her husband and two teenage sons. Nzinga (yes, first name basis!) is excited to embark on this podcast journey, and can’t wait to answer any and all questions you may have about addictive or other psychiatric disorders.

Learn more here: https://www.eleanorhealth.com/team

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EP 279: Moving from Unhealthy to Healthy Relationships with Elizabeth 0

Jan 13, 2021

This call is about breaking out of patterns and unhealthy relationships. Elizabeth calls in asking for daily mantras, actions, and tools to help her feel worthy of a loving relationship. She is struggling with enoughness. She wants to get over a “toxic” relationship from her past and truly embrace, rather than sabotage, the healthy relationship she is in now. We get to the fundamental ouch or significant life event that created the misunderstanding that perpetuates her feelings of not being enough.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode279]

The feeling of not-enoughness is a major human problem. Eventually, we will evolve out of this not-enoughness thinking and raise children differently so we all don’t have to have this major human epidemic. Know that by listening to this show, doing inner work, and feeding yourself the truth, you are doing your part to evolve human consciousness.

Nothing outside of you can fulfill you and nothing external comes to you until you truly know that you are worthy and enough. That being said, we live in an interdependent world. And, although we cannot look to the outside world to make us happy, it is important to feel connected to others and attract and nurture healthy relationships, no matter where we are in our journey.

The brain may confuse familiarity with love because it was wired from an early age to make love an equation. Many learn that if they act a certain way they will get love. Conditional love can feel familiar. But, worthiness is not conditional.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you struggle with not feeling enough?
Have you ever had a “toxic” relationship?
Do you doubt that the people in your life really love you and see you? Do you fear that you will not measure up in some way?
Is there a fierce inner critic that lives inside your head? And, even though you know you should be nicer to yourself, you can’t seem to change your self-talk?

Elizabeth’s Question:

Elizabeth is searching for some daily mantras or actions that will make her feel enough and worthy.

Elizabeth’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is having difficulty connecting her intellect with her heart.
She feels not enough and that her life is pointless.
She verbalizes the chaos she feels in her mind.
She was in an eight-year “toxic” relationship.
She has “love” attached to feeling a certain way.
She has trouble quieting her inner critic.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be in the present moment and feel her feelings.
Stop and breathe when her mind starts racing.
Realize nothing is wrong with her.
Forgive herself for confusing familiarity with love.
Give her inner critic a new job description.
Practice release writing when her inner critic is bratty.

Takeaways For You:

If you struggle with not-enoughness, when you feel it coming on, stop and think that you are hungry for the truth. And then, feed yourself some truth.
Watch your language and watch what you are affirming.
Slow down! Drop in and breathe.
Give things you want to shift a new job description and a new role.
If you want some additional help join my Personal Mastery Course.
Join us for the Be the Queen program.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Become the Sexually Confident Person You Were Meant to be with A'magine 0

Jan 9, 2021

Christine's guest today is A'magine, a sex educator and author who guides people into sexual empowerment. A'magine has been teaching and speaking about sexuality for over two decades, including her TEDx talk “Owning Your Sexual Power.” She is author of Woman on Fire: Nine Elements to Wake up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence and co-author of the best-selling classic Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men.

Often conversations about sexuality can push a lot of buttons - this conversation is the opposite of that! You will feel reassured, seen, and empowered with steps to have a more fulfilling sex life!

Learn more about A'magine and her programs here: https://www.amyjogoddard.com/

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EP 278: Break Your Addiction to Negative Thinking with Danielle 0

Jan 6, 2021

Do you know the value of positive thinking but just can’t seem to shift out of negative thinking? This coaching session is about expectations and shifting negative patterns. During this call, we examine Danielle’s past to understand what formed her current expectations and get to the root of why she is sabotaging herself in relationships.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode278]

Any habituated response, feeling, or pattern of behavior you are currently engaged in was created a long time ago and you created it for a reason. If you really want to shift something you must get curious about the origin of it.

Your expectations about what could or could not happen in your present or future life are based on what has happened in your past until you consciously choose to update them. Significant life events and/or repetitive events trigger us to form beliefs. These beliefs cause us to form expectations about life, others, and ourselves which impact our present and create our future.

And, any “negative” pattern we want to change has a payoff and usually can’t be changed overnight. That’s why it is important that we learn what the payoff is and learn how to get it in a more positive way.

While it’s important not to become a victim in your life or be stuck in your story so much so that your past becomes an excuse or scapegoat for why you don’t have what you want, it is important to acknowledge it and understand how it is impacting you.

Stefanos and I created a series of eight prescriptive breathwork and meditation tracks you can use anytime. If you order by January 15, 2021, get $30 off your purchase at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork when you enter code “HOLIDAY”.

Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021. Sign up now to get access to the bonus session on January 14th.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a negative thinker? Do you tend to sabotage things before they even get started?
Is anxiety something you would like to feel less of?
Do you desire a healthy, loving relationship?
Are you the child of immigrants?

Danielle’s Question:

Danielle would like to know how to relieve herself of self-imposed anxiety and negative thinking in relationships and dating.

Danielle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has become comfortable with her negative thinking.
She creates a frenzy inside of her.
Her parents got divorced.
She has fun memories of her childhood.
She saw her parents fighting.
She feels she needs to protect herself from being caught off guard.
She used her negative thinking as a shield to feel safe but it also keeps love out.
She is always in fight-or-flight mode.
She is a first-generation Cuban American.
She found her life coach through prayer and intention.
She will change her inner dialogue.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Identify her negative thinking, thank it for protecting her and ask her mind to help her to determine a true statement for what is happening.
Consider attending the upcoming Personal Mastery Course and the Signature Retreat.
Work with a healer to do some energetic bodywork.
Cut some cords energetically.

Takeaways:

Be aware of what you affirm with your thoughts.
Get curious about your past. What were the repetitive events or significant life events in your past that cause your expectations and how are they affecting your life now?
Anything you would label as negative or a pattern you want to change, identify the payoff, and find a way to get that payoff in a more positive way.
Always approach your growth, development, and healing with love and curiosity. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
If you resonated with a lot of what came up in this coaching session, my Personal Mastery Course would be a great next step for you.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What's ahead for 2021 with Intuitive Coach Rebecca Tait 0

Jan 2, 2021

This is a special, loving and timely episode. One of my dearest friends and someone I turn to frequently for intuitive guidance and reassurance, Rebecca Tait, joins me to discuss how we can process 2020 and prepare for 2021. Bec is a gifted psychic who provides intuitive guidance to people who feel stuck or uncertain in various aspects of their personal and professional life.

You can set your own personal session with Bec here: https://www.justaskbec.com/

To get Christine's 40 day journal and to-do list, go here: https://christinehassler.com/40-day-journal/

To grab your download of our Breathwork and Meditation series and get $30 off using the promo code HOLIDAY go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

Download this Episode

EP 277: Getting Over an Ex and Calling in Love with Leah 0

Dec 30, 2020

This call is about moving out of victim and regret to fast-track healing. Today’s caller, Leah, is still getting over a breakup and is starting to feel hopeless about the marriage and family she wants to call in. Even if you haven’t had a breakup, this call is for anyone who is not where they want to be in life. It is a great example of what happens when we stay in the victim-perpetrator pattern.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode277]

If you have been in a relationship or a situation you felt was a waste of time and wish you wouldn't have done it, understand that it had happened to get you into the fast lane for healing. Issue-based relationships, even though they are difficult to go through, they jolt us into recognizing childhood wounds that need to be healed for us to have healthy adult relationships.

If we want a healthy, authentic relationship that is not a repeat of our childhood issues, we need to do the inner work. There are no “blocks” to what we want, there are just unresolved issues to what we haven’t healed. We have to do the healing work before we can attract healthy things.

Let’s transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020.

As a Holiday gift for you, Stefanos and I created a series of eight prescriptive breathwork and meditation tracks you can use anytime. If you order by January 13, 2021, get $30 off your purchase at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork when you enter code “HOLIDAY”.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have something in your life; a breakup or something else from your past you can’t seem to get over and you’re stuck in regret?
Do you beat yourself up for choices you made in the past that you have no control over changing now?
Do you find yourself craving a family or a partner because you didn’t have a loving family?
Do you have anger toward someone it is time to let go of?

Leah’s Question:

Leah would like guidance on how to get over a bad breakup and begin to manifest a healthy, long-term relationship.

Leah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She was traumatized by a bad breakup two years ago.
She is disappointed by the lack of progress in her personal development and healing work.
Her parents divorced when she was young and there were no strong bonds formed with either of them.
She resents her mother and feels neglected.
She feels betrayed and used by her ex.
She does not feel a deep connection to anyone since her ex.
She is giving him a lot of power over her.
She wants to work on trusting herself.
She has done therapy but has difficulty sticking with it.
She moves in between the victim and perpetrator archetypes.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do not take the situation personally.
Realize her worthiness and value.
Stop beating herself up.

Release her anger by doing the Temper-tantrum and release writing practice from Expectation Hangover.
Join the Be the Queen program.
Be grateful for the lesson and give herself what she needs.
Stay in compassion when she feels helpless or hopeless.
Work with someone who will follow her divine timing.

Takeaways:

Consider doing the anger release or the release writing practice and look at where you are in a victim and perpetrator pattern.
Remember, if you are healing an aspect of yourself, you are not healing all of you.

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Give yourself stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the latest shoes, handbags, and masks from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Ritual and Guided Visualization to bring in 2021 0

Dec 26, 2020

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year's ritual and guides you through a meditation/visualization to consciously call in 2021.

You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

Download this Episode

EP 276: Sharing a Secret and Letting Go with Scott 0

Dec 23, 2020

This call is about healing shame by sharing your truth with the people you love. Today’s caller, Scott, is concerned about how his parents will react when he shares a childhood secret with them. He is asking for guidance on how to approach the subject without upsetting them. If you relate to holding in a secret, or things you do not want to say or do not know how to bring forward you will find this conversation helpful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode276]

Revealing secrets is difficult for many of us. Sometimes it is easier to keep things brushed under the rug when we do not want to deal with a particular conversation.

But, secrets can be toxic and carry shame. Do I believe that we should tell the people we love everything? I don't know. Not always. But, when it is something we allow to perpetuate a pattern that protects others, especially our parents, above speaking our truth, often the truth will prevail. When we speak our truth we must do it with love.

Protecting our children is one thing, but protecting our parents is a different conversation. If we are trying to protect our parents, we are taking on the parental role. I’m not saying that we should not consider their emotions. However, if we have a pattern of being the parent, and worrying about our parents while sacrificing our truth and our vulnerability, it is different.

Let’s transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a secret from a family member or friend and you want to share it but you are afraid of upsetting them so you keep it inside?
Did you grow up feeling alone?
Were you the person who had to protect family members or parent your parents?
Are you ready to break patterns that don’t serve you anymore?

Scott’s Question:

Scott is looking for guidance about sharing a secret with his family he has had since childhood but does not want to upset them.

Scott’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He fears the shame and blame associated with sharing his secret.
His story will soon be widely shared.
He wants to protect his family.
He is speaking with a professional therapist.
He feels it is an important part of his story.
He felt he had to be brave for his family.
He stays away from his family and feels alone.
He felt he had to parent his parents.
He finally feels seen.
He does not want to hide any longer.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be aware he can not control someone else’s feelings.
Deliver his secret from a loving place.
Tell his parents about his loneliness.
Be authentic, loving, and vulnerable when he speaks with his parents.

Ask Yourself:

Where are you not being authentic? Where are you not being vulnerable? Where are you not speaking your truth because you are too afraid of someone else’s reaction?
In what ways were you not able to be a child in your relationship with your parents?
How can you take your rightful place, as a child, within your family?

Sponsor:

Natural Shilajit Resin is collected high in the mountains and contains a powerful mineral used in ayurvedic medicine that naturally detoxes your body, increases stamina and energy, and protects your cells against aging. To receive your 10% discount, go to ChristineHassler.com/resin and use the promo code ‘overit’ at check out.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: A Ritual to Wrap Up 2020 and a Talk on Ascension Symptoms 0

Dec 19, 2020

Can you believe we are approaching the end of 2020? In this episode, Christine speaks about ascension symptoms you may be experiencing as we uplevel and upgrade. She also guides you through a process to complete 2020 with awareness and intention and let it go! This is part one of a ritual that Christine leads you through each year.

Download this Episode

EP 275: How to Heal a Wound from the Feminine with Lex 0

Dec 16, 2020

This call is about finding our nurturing, loving feminine inner voice. Today’s caller, Lex, would like guidance with her patterns of inconsistency and quieting the harsh, critical voice of her mother in her head. This call will resonate with anyone who had a challenging, traumatic, dysfunctional, or abusive relationship with their mother.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode275]

When we do not process our anger, it creates a rebel or saboteur within us. It is difficult to be consistent if we never had a model of a loving or consistent parent. We create a rebel to protect ourselves from emotional abuse and the rebel energy is often tied to anger. If you have a rebel or a self-sabotager, think about how it is anger in disguise.

The more we deal with our anger and deal with the ways we have been abused, betrayed, or neglected, the less we rely on the rebel to protect us.

If a child has a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder or is mentally abusive in some way, the child knows kindness can’t be trusted. They have to walk on eggshells all the time. So, when kind loving energy does come it is difficult to be open to it and trust it. Even though deep down we all trust feminine energy, deeply-ingrained patterns can confuse it with past experiences with females in our past.

Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a mother wound or a wound with the feminine that is disconnecting you from your femininity, your love of your body, or your ability to care and nurture yourself?
Do you have an inner rebel and every time you get consistent about something that rebel comes in and just throws you off track?
Did you have a parent that stood by when your other parent abused you or didn’t treat you well and it made you feel like you just weren’t protected?
Do you struggle with trusting yourself or other people?

Lex’s Question:

Lex is looking for guidance on how to be consistent with her health routine.

Lex’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is concerned about her health and weight.
She suffers from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).
She wants people to think about her positively.
She is inconsistent and self-sabotages herself.
People treat her differently because of her physical appearance.
Her mother had narcissistic tendencies.
Her father didn’t offer her safety from her mother.
She is passionate about justice and human rights.
She wasn’t nurtured in her childhood.
She has perfectionistic tendencies.
She doesn’t feel enough and doesn’t trust.
She was triggered by meditation.
Her inner rebel helps her to survive and protects her.
She gets stuck in a cycle of pushing, rebelling, and hopelessness.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Call in nurturing, mothering energy.
Look for guides to help her find her voice, her sovereignty.
Listen to and surround herself with feminine voices.
Deal with the anger she feels toward her mother through emotional release writing.
Do the temper-tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover or Personal Mastery.
Find a therapist who works with somatic, trauma, or behavioral therapy.
When she hears her inner critic speak up, recognize it, and comfort herself.

Ask Yourself:

If you resonate with wanting to draw in more of the feminine voice and you want to find your loving, nurturing feminine side, surround yourself with loving, nurturing feminine energy voices.
Have a conversation with your rebel, ask it what it is protecting you from. Do anger release work to see if you are rebelling because you are angry. Download my temper tantrum technique at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
Forgive yourself for your past actions.
Celebrate all the ways you have shifted and your growth.

Sponsor:

Organifi — is an organic superfood powdered tea that makes quality, trusted nutrition convenient and delicious. Not all of us have the time or means to get the natural, fresh, organic vegetables we need. I upgrade my nutrition every single day with Organifi Harmony, Organifi Gold Chocolate, or Red Juice. For 20% off your order, go to Organifi.com/overit and use the code ‘OVERIT’ at checkout to receive 20% off all products.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What is Sacred Union? 0

Dec 12, 2020

To wrap up the love and relationship series, Christine and Stef have a special gift for you. They recorded an experiential process to support you on your journey to Sacred Union. In this episode, they define what Sacred Union is and explain the process. To download the experiential exercise for free, go to https://christinehassler.com/sacredunion/

Download this Episode

EP 274: A Couple’s Session: Healing Your Childhood Wounds in Your Relationship with Lorena and Jonathon 0

Dec 9, 2020

This call is about seeing a partner’s inner child wounding in an issue-based relationship. Today’s couple, Lorena and Jonathon, are looking for guidance on how to connect more intimately with each other and manage their masculine and feminine energies in their relationship. We uncover that inner child wounding is more at play in the relationship than masculine/feminine dynamics. Couples and singles will find value in today’s episode.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode274]

In a relationship, we cannot hope the other person heals us or completes us. That is codependency. However, we can set the intention for the relationship to be a safe space to heal. That is the beauty of a relationship. We always want to be doing our own work and healing our own stuff. Then, we can use the relationship, which is often a triggering event, as a place to heal our inner child wounding.

It is key in your intimate relationship to see his little boy, or see her little girl and understand the wounding. Know that what you need might be different than what your partner needs. Often, we love based on how we want to be loved and how our inner child needs to be loved versus how the other person in our life needs to be loved.

A conscious couple/sacred union doesn’t mean everything’s okay all the time and we are living in awesome ecstasy, having total non-violent communication, and having amazing sex all the time. We are human; it doesn’t always work like that. Being a conscious couple/sacred union means you are willing to do the work.

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re showing up too masculine or too feminine in your relationship?
Is your relationship going through challenges, maybe you have separated, and you want to restart and get a fresh take on an old relationship?
Do you understand how your inner child experiences and your inner child wounding is impacting your intimacy and relationship?
Are you willing to see your current or future partner through the eyes of love? Are you willing to see that little boy or a little girl inside of them and truly seek to understand your partner rather than judge them or have expectations of them?

Lorena & Jonathon’s Question:

Lorena and Jonathon are looking for guidance on how to connect intimately and manage their masculine and feminine energies within the relationship.

Lorena & Jonathon’s Key Insights and Ahas:

They have been together for 12 years.
They separated for a time.
He is cautious about being in his masculine. She is in her masculine a lot.
They both come from dysfunctional families.
They are in an issue-based relationship.
She lived in fear as a child and couldn’t trust people in her life.
He spent a lot of time trying to fit in.
She has high expectations of herself and others.
He gets angry and frustrated when he hears negative feedback.
She wants to feel more emotionally connected to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Jonathon — Find his inner parent who responds to the critical voice that tells him he is enough.
Jonathon — Listen to Episode #273 with Ron.
Jonathon — Find his fire and tap into his repressed anger.
Lorena — Tell her little girl she is safe and know she can relax now.
Lorena — Acknowledge her husband for what he does.
Understand each other’s inner child wounding.
Find three questions to ask each other as a nighttime ritual.
Give each other more hugs throughout the day.

Ask Yourself:

Are you seeing and understanding your partner’s wounding?
Are you loving your partner and treating them the way you need to be treated and expecting them to do the same. Or, are you loving them based on what they need?
Do you clearly communicate what you need from your partner?
What is your biggest hurt from childhood and how does it show up in your relationship?
What is your deepest desire and how can you ask for what you need in your relationship?

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get or give stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest winter styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Couples get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Why the Grunt Work is Worth it in Relationships with Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder 0

Dec 5, 2020

Christine and Stef sit down with an awesome couple who also both happen to be coaches and therapists. Listen in to a very honest conversation about what it takes to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

A little more about our guests:

Jayson Gaddis, author, podcaster, speaker, and entrepreneur, is the founder of The Relationship School, an impact-based company dedicated to helping people work out their differences and have fulfilling long-term partnerships. Jayson is considered a world leader in relationships. He founded The Relationship School®, is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching®. He trains people from around the world how to be effective relational leaders and coaches. He’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 and has two beautiful kids. They live in Boulder, Colorado. When he doesn’t live and breathe this relationship stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.

Ellen Boeder Bio

Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist and coach for couples in Boulder, Colorado, who has been interested in how relationships actually work for as long as she can remember. Studying with innovative researchers and cutting edge practitioners in the field of psychology, relationships, and also yoga, for over 20 years has helped her integrate her approach to working with people in a sensitive, straightforward, deeply informed, and embodied way. The most high-level training she does is usually at home with her husband and two young children, as she finds her way through the real, raw, and beautiful experience of being deeply intertwined with others. Ellen is also a faculty member for The Relationship School, is a long time yoga practitioner, and writes a blog that incorporates her studies in psychology with her life experience as a mother, called Rearranged by Motherhood.

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EP 273: Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin with Ron 0

Dec 2, 2020

This call is about overcoming apathy and releasing anger. Today’s caller, Ron, was constantly shamed by a volatile father. As an adult, he feels detached and numb. He uses apathy as a coping mechanism. We work through how he can release his feelings and do inner child work. I offer some techniques and strategies to help him regain a healthy masculine identity.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode273]

When men have a volatile father, they become passive or hyper-aggressive. They go to extremes. They can become the alpha-dog and lash out or they become passive with emotional eating. It is a common father wound for men to have a degree of shame that goes in either direction.

Shame is toxic and the way it impacts us all as humans is similar and different. How it impacts men is particularly detrimental, for women as well, but I've seen it impact men in a way where they lose touch with their masculine energy and become more passive in life.

It is nearly impossible to come out of being raised in a fear-based home, having a volatile parent, and never feeling like you got the love, affection, and approval you needed and grow up having no issues with it. As you might intellectually want yourself to be different, until you go back and do the healing work and dive deep, you are going to find yourself in the pantry sneak eating or whatever your version of that is.

If you are not living the life you want to be living, it is just feedback that there is more work to do. Inner child wounding is sometimes tough to get at because we bury it so deep. There is no shame and being willing to forgive the person is the first step.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
Are you chronologically an adult and keep up with your grown-up responsibilities, but inside you don’t feel like one?
Are you mostly passive except for those occasional moments you lose your temper?
Did you get the love, attention, and affection you truly need and deserve from your parents, especially your father?

Ron’s Question:

Ron does not feel comfortable in his skin and he feels he does not belong. He would like guidance on how to break through the patterns.

Ron’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He practices negative self-talk.
He doesn’t feel like an adult, even though he is responsible.
He is afraid he will get in trouble for what he does.
He hides his eating habits.
His father was quick to anger and volatile.
He feels detached from his family.
He has numbed himself and feels apathy toward his parents.
He craves feeling and pleasure.
He does try to get his anger out.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Connect to his aggression, rage, and anger to get to the hurt.
Do the Temper Tantrum Technique from Expectation Hangover.
Write an ‘F-U’ letter to his parents he doesn’t send.
Tap into his masculine energy to find his fire, his warrior to allow him to feel again.
Find his inner coach voice, not his inner critic.

Takeaways:

If you aren't feeling like an adult, think about where you got frozen in childhood. Many people freeze at a certain age even though we can do adult things.
Do emotional processing. Use this free anger release download, ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
If you find yourself sneak eating or the kind of behavior you do in the shadows to soothe yourself or give you momentary pleasure and escapism when you feel the urge to do it, put your hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and ask your little one what they need.
If eating is a coping mechanism for you, listen to my “Coaches Corner with Samantha Skelly, Hungry for Happiness”
Reconnect to your little one and give them a chance to express their feelings. Be the parent to yourself you never had.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: All the Single Ladies . . . (and Anyone Wanting to Learn More About Love and Relationships) 0

Nov 28, 2020

Christine answers questions from single women and covers topics such as dating apps, healing sexual trauma, getting over ex's, removing intimacy blocks, and much more.

You can apply for Be the Queen here: www.christinehassler.com/bethequeen

You can download Christine's free Gratitude meditation here: https://christinehassler.com/gratitude

Download this Episode

EP 272: How to Trust Again with Michelle 0

Nov 25, 2020

This call is about recognizing competing intentions and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Michelle, is facing challenges when calling in a partner, her person, someone to share her life with. A childhood wound regarding trust keeps repeating because she has not healed it yet. Even if you are not single, this call has something in it for you. We work through blocks when it comes to trusting people, and competing intentions.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode272]

When we have competing intentions, we have a longing and a desire. Yet, we also have protective strategies of “I may get hurt.” It is the intention that is keeping you protected that will win. This is why we feel like we are sabotaging ourselves. We keep repeating the same pattern over and over again.

The angrier we are, the better we are at protecting ourselves. The more we keep the wall up. Remember, when we forgive, it’s not about condoning actions or forgiving the actions that hurt us. It is about forgiving the misunderstandings and misperceptions and misbeliefs we bought into, based on what happened.

The power of your desire, the power of what you want IS powerful. Don't think it cannot bring you what you want. You have to look at what is blocking it. One of the best ways we can protect ourselves from future hurts is to heal our past hurts.

In December, I am offering the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for mental or emotional therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a similar expectation hangover happening repeatedly?
Are you aware of a childhood wound and know it impacts your life, but you can’t seem to shift it?
Are you single and want to be with a partner, your person, especially, after this challenging year?
Do you have trouble trusting people, especially when it comes to the opposite sex?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to find someone to share her life with, her person.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her brother passed away unexpectedly.
She is the youngest of five children from a big family.
She’s never been married but wants to find someone to share life with.
She has a broken heart about her family breaking up.
Her father left her mother for another woman.
She believes she can’t trust people and attracts men she can’t trust.
She has put up a wall around her heart.
She may have low self-worth and a rough inner critic.
She has been in therapy.
She has competing intentions.
She is angry and feels she needs to protect herself.
Her feminine desire is being blocked by masculine anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find a way to protect herself in a healthy way.
Speak with her younger self about releasing her anger.
Realize she doesn’t have to trust every person, just one who is worthy.
Forgive herself for what she made her father’s actions mean.
Reparent herself by acknowledging her father isn’t representative of all men.
Start trusting herself.
Believe she can have a healthy, happy relationship.

Takeaways:

Consider what your competing intentions are. Is there something you want in your life but what is the protective block you have that is keeping you from getting it?
Get to the source of your issue.
Remember, with forgiveness, you are not forgiving the actions, you are forgiving the misunderstandings and limiting beliefs you bought into, based on the action.
If today's episode resonated with you, re-listen to it. If you want to apply to the Be the Queen program in January, go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Love, Sex & Relationships Part Two 0

Nov 21, 2020

Stef joins Christine to answer more listener questions on libido, ghosting, loving an empath, masculine/feminine dynamics and much more!

To access the recording of the group call go here: https://christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/

To apply for Be the Queen go here: https://christinehassler.com/bethequeen/

Download this Episode

EP 271: How to Stop Burning Out with Yaira 0

Nov 18, 2020

This call is about restoration and compassion. Today’s caller, Yaira, keeps going, going, going until she burns herself out. She is committed to believing that it is just who she is but the crux of this call is when she says she was trying to escape her circumstances. If you relate to being uncomfortable in stillness you will find this call useful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode271]

For any of you who have grown up in a chaotic home, it is common for you to want to go, go, go because stillness brought up feelings of how long is it going to be before the other shoe drops? Stillness can feel traumatic because you are bracing yourself for something bad to come. If you relate to feeling like this, you have to reorient your body, your inner child, and your subconscious mind to stillness. Reinforce the idea that just because you are still it doesn't mean you are trapped or in danger.

If you feel you have already done a lot of personal development work, know that you are not done. You are never done. Just accept it. The hard work is at the beginning. What phase are you in on your personal growth journey?

There are some of you who are very aware and who have lived in a “house” that has been constructed for a while and continue doing maintenance. But, others of you are still in the personal development building stage where there is a lot of work yet to do. It’s OK. Please don’t discredit the work you have done just because you have more work to do. Don’t minimize what you have done because there is something else you discovered that needs healing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you passionate and committed to things, but sometimes you burn yourself out and don’t know how to stop?
Do you trust yourself?
Do you have issues with not pacing yourself?
Do you ever feel like you are out of control? You want to do a lot of things but feel like you have no stop button?
Is there something in your life, your past perhaps, you are trying to escape from?

Yaira's Question:

Yaira wants to push projects forward but experiences burn out and would like guidance on how to break her “negative” habits.

Yaira's Key Insights and Ahas:

She gets excited about starting new projects.
She experiences burnout when she pushes herself too hard.
She feels safe and grounded in some aspects but fearful in others.
She can be overindulgent.
She does not trust herself to set limitations or boundaries.
She does not have strong family bonds.
She grew up in a chaotic household and had to figure things out by herself.
She has not realized how much her past has impacted her.
She has done a lot of personal development work.
She wants to be in full control of her life.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find a way to work with her energy in a way that conserves her energy.
Tell her younger self that she is free and has dominion over her life.
Call forward her inner parent.
Do a body scan or yoga practice to restore her body.
Speak to herself with compassion.

Takeaways:

If you are passionate, make sure to balance yourself out by being compassionate. Passion is fire energy, and it will burn you out if you do not balance it out.
Find the voice of your inner parents and explain things to yourself.
Find your “pull” motivation. Consider how much of what you are doing is motivated by “push or away from” energy versus the “toward energy” that pulls you toward your vision.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Love, Sex and Relationships Part One 0

Nov 14, 2020

This is a juicy one! Christine answers questions from our last group coaching call about love, sex, and relationships.

To access the recording of the group call go here: https://christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/

To get your amazing Organifi products, go here: www.organifi.com/overit

Download this Episode

EP 270: Finding Work-Life Balance with Brian 0

Nov 11, 2020

This call is about bringing more harmony into your life. Today’s caller, Brian, loves his work but is searching for more work-life balance. He enjoys being the person who is always available to others but takes little time for himself. This episode is enlightening for those who get validation from being the reliable, go-to person.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode270]

There is no such thing as work-life balance. They are not two separate things. Work is part of life. It’s about putting more harmony in your life by doing things to balance out the huge time suckers. If you work a lot or are with your kids a lot, what are you doing to balance it out? Have you created boundaries to make time for yourself? Do you have a self-care practice? Is it your once-a-week therapy session? What things are you doing to balance out the things in your life that are time-consuming?

The ego generally gets a bad wrap in the personal development space. But, we all have an ego. We all need to feel like we matter. Every human needs to feel important. The ego is how we get validation. We just need to be careful that validation doesn’t become linked to our identity.

Every pattern we are involved in has costs and payoffs. Does the imbalance in your life cost you more than it pays out?

This is an intense time so be mindful of what you allow into your mind. Choose what you want your individual experience to be. In November, I am launching the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you need more work-life balance?
Do you often feel like you can’t get away from your responsibilities? Do you believe that if you set boundaries or are not available or responsible all the time, things will fall apart?
Do you relate to being the go-to person?
Do you get validation for being the go-to-person? Does it make you feel needed?

Brian’s Question:

Brian would like guidance on how to bring more work-life balance into his world.

Brian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He works a lot of hours.
He loves his job and likes to make things work.
He enjoys being a reliable person.
He feels pressured to always be available.
He values being a good resource at work.
He would like to move toward being a leader.
His life is mostly about other people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Expand his purpose with self-reflection.
Pay attention to his self-talk.
Be kind and gentle with himself.
Create a schedule of when he is available.
Adopt a five-minute morning meditation or breathwork practice.

Takeaways:

Think about what you are doing; does it give you a sense of identity and purpose? What is it costing you?
Is it time to evolve out of being the people pleaser or the go-to person?
Think about the boundaries you need to put in place to break some patterns.
What are the simple, non-time-consuming things you can set up that weigh a lot and will make a big difference?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Hungry for Happiness with Samantha Skelly 0

Nov 7, 2020

Samantha Skelly is a 7-figure entrepreneur, sought after international speaker, best-selling author, and wellness coaching expert. She founded both Hungry for Happiness, a movement that helps people experience true transformation and happiness through trained certified coaches who utilize emotional and energetic coaching techniques, and PAUSE Breathwork, which has a mission to unite humanity by helping people breathe, feel, and thrive. Samantha has revolutionized the weight loss and self-help industries by examining the individual and underlying causes of food, body, and self-love issues. You can check her out on the popular Hungry for Happiness podcast and her best-selling HayHouse book, Hungry For Happiness which you can learn more about here: https://www.hungryforhappiness.com/hungry-for-happiness-book/

Download this Episode

EP 269: Finding Direction in Life with Meagan 0

Nov 4, 2020

This call is about moving past programmed beliefs to uncover your authentic beliefs. Today’s caller, Meagan, is feeling unfulfilled and directionless. After her father’s passing, she had to take on a lot of responsibility quickly but did not receive support from her family. What we discover is that she has competing intentions or programmed beliefs that are bumping up against her authentic beliefs.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode269]

Life during our late 20s and early 30s can be difficult because it is at a time in life when it’s a weird combination of trying to figure out our future while also trying to clean up our past. We don’t want to repeat our past but it’s hard to get clarity on the future when we have not cleaned up our past first.

Often, our programmed beliefs and conditioning bump up against who we authentically are and it creates conflict.

Whenever we are doing clearing work or processing work of our past, at the same time we must reprogram our brain with the beliefs we want to believe, or the beliefs that we authentically believe. Sometimes we just need a little reminder of what those are.

And, as we start to clear things out we want to make sure we put new programs in, otherwise, the brain tends to hang on to the old stuff.

Secure your spot for the next live group coaching call about sex, intimacy, love, and relationships. The live call starts at 5 pm PST on 11/11/20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the library of past and future group calls. Become part of my community for only $20.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever feel like you are not on the “right path” or don’t have the direction in your life that you want?
Do you feel like you “should” have a more secure career path?
Growing up, did you feel free to express yourself creatively, and emotionally?
Have you ever experienced a loss you have yet to fully grieve?

Meagan’s Question:

Meagan would like guidance on finding direction and fulfillment in her life.

Meagan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels she lacks direction.
She was jolted into adulthood much sooner than she expected after her father’s passing.
She has not fully grieved her father.
She felt a lack of support in her family.
She tried to be perfect to get love from her parents.
She never felt fully expressed.
She would like to be a Human Design Reader.
She recently spoke with a counselor about her grief.
She wants to move and create a community for herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Invest in her wellness.
Surround herself with people who have an explorer spirit.
Confirm her authentic beliefs through books, podcasts, or other personal development media.
Break the pattern of overthinking everything.
Express herself creatively and emotionally.

Takeaways:

Reflect on what are your programmed beliefs and your authentic beliefs.
If you live in your head a lot, give your emotions an exit route by releasing them.
Consider looking into Human Design. Listen to my podcast with Erin Claire Jones.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.