This episode is about getting a toxic person out of your life and taking action to set and enforce healthy boundaries. Today’s caller, Ashley, wasn’t loved the way she wanted to be loved as a child and her mother is still criticizing her. She wants guidance on how to coexist with her mother in a toxic relationship. Even if you don’t have someone toxic in your life, you will still get a ton of value out of this coaching session.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode180]
Many times we think we are keeping toxic people in our lives because we are weak but it’s not true. We keep them in our lives because we are hurt and we are hoping that someday they will love us. Whether it’s a parent who’s validation and love we want or even a boss who we allow to treat us poorly because we are hoping they will eventually see how really great we are at our job, we must realize we can’t change people and we can’t keep toxic people around, hoping they will change.
It's harder to have boundaries and distance with the primary people in our lives, especially a parent if we aren’t rooted in something more healthy like our higher power, our divine power. If you have an anchor inside yourself, it’s easier to create separation without feeling like we are having a major loss.
Remember, healing is not just inner work. It is outer work as well; especially when it comes to toxic people, we have to take action. As adults, we must do the things for ourselves that no one else did for us when we were kids.
Did you hear last week’s Coaches Corner with Marie Forleo? It is a great conversation about masculine and feminine dynamics at work. Check it out, Marie Forleo on Coaches Corner. I wholeheartedly support Marie Forleo’s B-School for Modern-Day Entrepreneurs. Marie is offering free training videos you will get so much out of. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Bschool to register and to get the bonus items. And join my live coaching call on February 27th, ChristineHassler.com/Live.
● Is there a toxic person in your life or someone who just doesn’t treat you great but you keep them hanging around?
● Do you keep people who are not kind to you in your life out of obligation or because they are related?
● In your romantic life, do you go after emotionally unavailable people and obsess over why you can’t get them?
● Do you deeply trust yourself and your higher power?
Ashley questions her self-worth based on her relationship with her mother.
Ashley’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● She is a single mom who is not financially independent.
● She has a toxic relationship with her mother.
● She has low self-worth.
● She sabotages herself.
● She goes after emotionally unavailable men.
● Her mother criticizes her.
● She didn’t feel loved the way she wanted to be loved.
● She hopes one day her mother will love her the way she wants to be loved.
● She needs to find a caretaker solution for her child.
● She is working through the Personal Mastery Course.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She needs to make decisions and take action to protect herself.
● She needs to create some distance between her and her mother.
● She needs to check in with little Ashley more often.
● She needs to reach out to a therapist and read books about codependency.
● She needs to experience being a child again by playing with her child.
● What boundaries do you need in your life?
● What people in your life have reached their expiration date? Is it time to take them out of your life?
● Do things to make your younger self trust you.
● Get a guide. Join the Personal Mastery Course or pray the right Healer/Guide/Teacher comes into your life.
● Connect with your younger self and be a stand for your worthiness. You deserve healthy people around you who love you and see you.
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.
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