EP 314: Getting Over Loss with Regina

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. Today’s caller, Regina, is a widow who is grieving over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode314]

 

Loss is an incredibly painful but inevitable part of our life. When it happens it is important we give ourselves time to grieve and not try to be strong and move on right away. But there comes a point in our life when life has to go on.

 

Whether it is the death of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, we can’t allow loss to suck the life out of us. Otherwise, we end up existing, not truly living. We honor those who transition by continuing to live.

 

People who deal with expectation hangovers often feel guilty to admit it but they tend to be apathetic to life. The reason for the apathy is the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference or apathy. When we go through something challenging, especially if we are lonely through it, we allow our self-love tank to get so low that we slip into indifference. Without love there is apathy. Getting out of it requires choosing to live, not just to go through the motions; we need something we want to live for.

 

Give yourself permission to live for and find something that reconnects you back to love.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Have you recently been through a loss and can’t seem to move on?
• Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve?
• Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently?
• Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again?

 

Regina’s Question:

Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted.

 

Regina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is approaching retirement.
• She is not in the place she thought she would be in her life.
• She lives alone.
• There is a part of her that doesn’t want to be anymore.
• She has regrets about how she raised her children.
• She doesn’t believe we get more than one love in our lives.
• Her husband was her best friend.
• She beats herself up a lot.
• She knows if she can create a negative story for herself, she is capable of creating a positive story, too.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Choose to create a future that is enlivening.
• Give herself permission to live and allow love in.
• Have a loving relationship with herself.
• Speak to herself as a loving mother would to a child.
• Forgive herself for being mean to herself.
• Write out some promises to herself.

 

Takeaways:

• Practice self-love.
• Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life.
• Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time.
• Content that focuses on overcoming regret.

 

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Resources:

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