This episode is about the healing benefits of being heard and being reflective. Today’s caller, Jonathan, didn’t feel seen or heard as a child by his controlling parents. He has competing intentions and would like guidance on how to be more vulnerable and intimate in relationships.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode342]
When in any type of relationship, especially a romantic relationship, if it is hard for you to express yourself or get things out or you feel interrupted or judged, utilize the talking stick (any object). Go to your partner and tell them you wish to communicate something and that you want to use the talking stick. When you are holding the talking stick you are the only one talking. When you feel complete you hand it to your partner. It is a great practice if you have a hard time getting things out. It offers a sense of permission for those who wish to be heard.
Oftentimes, we interrupt each other a lot. There may be one partner who is more assertive and the other partner may retract more. The talking stick is a great remedy for relationships with communication issues.
Another effective communication tool is reflective listening or perception checking. When we slow down communication it builds trust and safety with other people.
When you have the avoidant attachment style one of the best ways to heal it is in relationship, practicing intimacy.
Jonathan would like guidance on being intimate in close relationships with others and with himself.
Jonathan’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services