This episode is about never feeling good enough and always looking for what could go wrong. Today’s caller, Dana, didn’t have her needs met as a child and built a protective pattern to help her cope with her abandonment wound. We work through ways to calm her nervous system and feel safe when asking for what she needs.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode356]
Whether or not you grew up in a house where you felt like your needs were not met, all of us can relate to feeling not good enough, or the feeling that things in our lives are not good enough. Or, we can be either incredibly critical of ourselves or other people. We get ourselves into a vicious cycle.
When we have unmet needs, especially if we were raised in a way where we couldn’t have an outburst, had to be the good kid, or had to keep it together, it caused us to keep stuff inside. Those of us who had to withhold a lot as children can be mean to people internally but when it comes to saying something externally, we cower.
When we have awareness about one of our protective patterns, we don’t want to expect that we are immediately going to change it. That would just set us up for an Expectation Hangover and offer us more opportunities to beat ourselves up.
The purpose of personal development is not an overnight transformation. As evolving human beings, personal transformation is more about gaining awareness. We can spot the patterns we fall into and then work with ourselves while we are in the pattern.
True transformation comes when we find ourselves in the trigger, habit, or reaction and we become aware we are in it then, we choose differently.
My next Women’s Retreat will be held in Austin on October 7‒9, 2022. I will post the website and open enrollment soon!
Dana would like to understand why no matter what she does or achieves it never feels enough.
Dana’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
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