EP 467: How Being the One That Everyone Can Count on Is Costing You with Marcus

In this episode of "Over It and On With It," Christine Hassler coaches Marcus, who is grappling with the emotional aftermath of a breakup. Marcus has a long-standing pattern of being the dependable "rock" everyone can rely on, but this role costs him dearly in his relationships.

During their coaching session, Christine helps Marcus see how his childhood experiences, particularly taking on the role of the "man of the house" from a young age, have influenced his adult relationships. Marcus often finds himself in situations where he is taking care of others' emotional needs at his own expense, leaving him feeling depleted and unsupported.

Christine explains that this dynamic stems from childhood coping mechanisms where Marcus learned that being responsible and reliable would earn him love and acceptance. By recognizing these patterns and setting healthier boundaries, Marcus can start to prioritize his own needs and break free from the caretaker role that has dominated his life.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself being the rock for everyone in your life but feel like no one is there for you?
• Are you struggling to set boundaries because you fear disappointing others?
• Do you often feel emotionally drained because you always put others' needs before yours?
• Can you identify patterns from your childhood that may be influencing your current relationships?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Marcus's need to be the dependable one comes from his childhood experience of having to take care of his mother after his father left, making him feel responsible for others from a young age.
• Christine identifies that Marcus's pattern of being the caretaker has left him feeling like he has no one to rely on in return, perpetuating feelings of loneliness and exhaustion.
• By acknowledging these childhood influences, Marcus can start to shift his mindset and create space for relationships that also meet his needs.
• The coaching session emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and learning to be comfortable saying “no,” even when it might disappoint others.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Please recognize that you don't have to be the rock for everyone; it's okay to need support yourself.
• Start setting boundaries in your relationships to protect your energy and emotional well-being.
• Practice saying “no” lovingly that honors your needs and respects your limits.
• Understand that it's healthy to have reciprocal relationships where support is mutual rather than one-sided.

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