Over It And On With It

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

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CC: Goodbye Perfect with Homaira Kabir 0

Mar 2, 2024

If you have a tendency to people please and struggle with perfectionism, don't miss this episode. Homaira Kabir is an expert in ending trying to be "perfect."

She holds Master’s degrees in Coaching Psychology and in Positive Psychology—the science of human flourishing and wellbeing—and has over a decade of experience as a life coach. She is the founder and CEO of the Goodbye Perfect Project, which she launched with the mission to bring science-backed, soulful support to help people break free of unhelpful patterns and own their purpose, voice, and impact. She is the author of Goodbye Perfect: How To Stop Pleasing, Proving and Pushing For Others… and Live For Yourself (Sourcebooks; April 11, 2023).

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EP 441: Should You Stay in a Relationship and Keep Trying Even When You Feel You've Tried a Lot? With Kara 0

Feb 28, 2024

This coaching call is a beautiful example of when we are so in our heads that we cannot hear the truth of our intuition. Today’s caller, Kara, feels she is compatible with her partner but that no chemistry exists between them. She asks Christine for guidance in making the decision to stay or go.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode441].

If you are thinking about leaving a relationship, have you shifted and shown up in the best way possible? There is a difference between talking about what is wrong with your partner and the things you want them to change, and actually being the change that could encourage their transformation. When we become the change and our partner still doesn’t meet us, then it makes our decision-making much clearer.

If we keep going back and forth about something, we don’t have clarity or we fear dropping into clarity. When making a decision, does deciding one way or another provide you with relief? If you don’t experience relief, what is going through your mind, or what story are you telling yourself that keeps you from making a decision? When we don’t have clarity, part of us knows that our triggers and patterns are at play. When we take responsibility for our side and we clean up our side of the street, then we can make the decision with clarity.

And, ladies remember that feminine energy is more than being affectionate and being a vixen. That is surface-level feminine. True feminine energy is about leaning into being a queen, making self-honoring choices, and trusting our discernment.

Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect or support@ChristineHassler.com. Participants also get access to a year of live, monthly group coaching calls. Get $500 off when you use the promo code “child”.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you trying to make a decision and you can do pro/con lists and talk yourself in or out of it?
Do you feel like you are over-masculine are over-feminine and you want to be more balanced?
When there’s tension or conflict in a relationship do you use “I” language or do you blame and project onto your partner, expecting them to change?
Is your changing, reacting, and responding bringing out change and transformation in your partner, or are you reinforcing the behavior that you don’t like and want to change?

Kara’s Question:

Kara doesn’t know if she should leave her relationship and is having difficulty hearing her intuition.

Kara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her partner wants to work things out.
She has broken the relationship off several times.
She and her partner do shadow work.
They are compatible but have no chemistry.
She wants to trust her intuition but goes back and forth about it.
They spend a lot of time together.
She compares other relationships to hers.
She tries to justify her choice.
She creates emotional distance when there is a disagreement.
She is not relaxed in her relationship.
Her masculine energy comes through in relationship.
She wants a man with healthy masculine energy.
She is comfortable in control.
She feels her relationship is a personal development course.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Stop the back-and-forth.
Consider the way she shows up in relationship.
Lean into her feminine and her discernment and make decisions from there.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Understand your attachment style with Jessica Baum 0

Feb 24, 2024

Jessica Baum, LMHC, is the founder of the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, providing couples therapy, family counseling, and addiction therapy in South Florida for over 10 years. Her book Anxiously Attached helps people understand their attachment style and build an inner strength that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships. It is an empowering road map for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections

She has helped thousands of clients with her unique approach to healing, the Self-full® Method. Through her sister company, Be Self-full®, Jessica offers transformational courses and online coaching services that support individuals and couples to form healthy, long-term relationships. Born and raised in Manhattan, she now lives in West Palm Beach, Florida.

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EP 440: How to Stop Acting Like a Teenager When You Are a Grown Adult with Caitlyn 0

Feb 21, 2024

This coaching call is about why we play out childish patterns even though we are adults. Today’s caller, Caitlyn, lost her father as a teenager and still shames herself for the decisions she made shortly after. Christine walks her through the empty chair process so she can talk with her father about her feelings and actions.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode440].

Many of us can relate to doing things in our adult lives without understanding why we are doing them. We are often aware of what we are doing and we know better, but we can’t seem to change our behavior. That is our inner child repeating a pattern from when a trauma was formed. Plus, when we feel shame about something, it can make us want to isolate and not ask for help.

When we have a big trauma like losing our primary parent, or someone we are extremely close to, a part of our psyche gets frozen at that age. And, oftentimes, when we go through any type of loss we go into survival and we don’t give ourselves the time to grieve. If there is a loss you haven’t fully processed, you are encouraged to create a ceremony or set up an environment to help you fully grieve.

Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you find yourself doing things that are immature and you are not proud of yet you can't seem to stop?
Did you have a trauma in your teenage years that is still impacting you on some level?
Do you have regret, judgment, and shame about how you acted or reacted to things?
Have you lost someone you love and would like to reconnect with them?

Caitlyn’s Question:

Caitlyn struggles with telling untruths to the people who love and care about her. She asks for guidance on how to change her behavior.

Caitlyn’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She stretches the truth and is embarrassed by it.
She is 6-years clean from alcohol and drugs.
She recently joined a fellowship.
She feels shame and avoids people.
She thinks people won’t like her if she is her true self.
Her father passed away when she was in high school.
She believes her father would be ashamed of her actions.
She is scared that she has ruined her life.
She may be frozen in time emotionally.
She hasn’t fully grieved her father.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do the empty chair process and have a conversation with her father.
Realize she did the best she could given the circumstances.
Grieve the loss of her father.
Forgive herself for the decisions she made when she was 15.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: The Downside of Being "Strong" 0

Feb 17, 2024

In this quickie episode Christine talks about the distinction between being strong and enduring. Often we are praised (and even praise ourselves) for being strong when in actuality we've just endured really hard stuff but suppressing and pushing through. True strength comes from allowing ourselves to completely fall apart. Listen in for more!

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EP 439: Stop Expecting a Relationship to Change and Make a Change with Em 0

Feb 14, 2024

This coaching call is about why we stay in relationships that are not for our highest good and how to have the courage to get out of them. Today’s caller, Em, has been married for four years. Both she and her partner have faltered in their commitments during that time. She asks Christine for guidance on whether or not to stay in the relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode439].

As adults, we are attracted to different versions of our parents because the inner child is always seeking out resolution from our childhood wounding. Until we work on understanding where our subconscious programming comes from and why we choose what we choose, we continue the patterning until we can heal our inner child and give ourselves what we didn’t get in childhood.

When we eventually get to forgiveness, we are able to stop harboring guilt and shame. So when we do make mistakes, we can make clear agreements with ourselves to move forward in making better decisions for ourselves from a healed place.

And, when it comes to leaving any relationship, there is going to be a mixture of grief and relief. It’s totally natural. Grief passes when we are making decisions based on our highest good.

Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, take advantage of early bird pricing and join Christine for a bonus call to begin your 10-week journey. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.

Em’s Question:

Em is having issues in her relationship and would like to regain the stability to feel love again.

Em’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has been married for four years.
Her relationship has lost its spark and intimacy.
She is lonely.
There is infidelity on both sides of the relationship.
She is self-sabotaging.
She is out of alignment with her values.
She wants stability in her relationship.
Her father cheated on her mother.
She is attracted to partners that remind her of her father.
Her mother was controlling and critical during her childhood.
Her partner is not willing to make changes.
Making clear decisions can be difficult for her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Decide how much longer she is going to fight for her father’s love.
Trust herself and choose herself.
Be clear with her wife about where she is and what she needs to see if she is willing to show up for her.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: A Meditation to Connect with Your Inner Child 0

Feb 10, 2024

I have a special treat for you this week...a guided visualization to connect or reconnect to your inner child. I also share about the 3 life changing results that happen when you do inner child work.

You can access the replays from the workshop here: https://christinehassler.com/joy/#signup

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EP 438: Stop the Pattern of Either/Or Thinking with Rebecca 0

Feb 7, 2024

This coaching call is about believing you can have what you want. Today’s caller, Rebecca, grew up wondering if her mother’s love was conditional. She asks for guidance on how to believe she can get what she wants without her life always being one way or the other. This episode will resonate with you if you fear being disappointed and believe you are limited in what you can have in your life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode438].

It is important that we challenge our thinking and realize when we are in either/or, then eliminate it. There are often many more options than we think there are. A lot of it comes from growing up in fear-based environments. When we grow up when there is dysregulation, very little reassurance, or when adults are not leading the family, and inconsistent messaging, there is a desire for certainty and we have a limited view of our possibilities. It also happens when we grow up in a strict household, or highly intellectual household where there isn’t a lot of room for creativity and imagination.

Do you engage in either/or thinking? Do you settle for something because you don’t believe you can have what you want?

When we believe we can have what we want and we settle into those places, we don’t have the fears that come with the limiting belief that we don’t deserve it or are not capable of it in some way.

We don’t need to be afraid of disappointment. Regret is way worse than risk. When we play it safe and we settle, we end up with regret.

Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Were you parentified as a child?
Were there mixed messages in your home? Maybe, you felt loved but if you made a mistake, you doubted the love.
Do you believe you can have what you want?
Do you fear disappointment that you end up settling for things?

Rebecca’s Question:

Rebecca is bouncing between states of being when making life decisions.

Rebecca’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is in survival mode when trying to make decisions.
She feels low when she finally makes a decision.
She is an emotionally sensitive person.
She had to make sure her mother was doing well.
Her mother was inconsistent about giving her love.
She is in a relationship with someone who isn’t clear about how he feels about her.
She doesn’t believe she can get what she wants.
She dreads sharing her joy with her family.
She has unprocessed anger and guilt.
She wants to punish her family.
She doesn’t fully apply herself to any one thing.
She puts herself last.
She tries to avoid disappointment.
She believes she is unlovable.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Take action while believing she can have everything she wants.
Check in with herself several times a day to see what she wants.
Being disappointed is okay.
Challenge her either/or thinking.
Join the Inner Child Journey to Joy workshop.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: Feel Less Stress, Anxiety and Overwhelm 0

Feb 3, 2024

Today I unpack how your childhood imprinted your nervous system and mind which informs how you experience stress, anxiety and overwhelm. If you ever feel frustrated that you experience these feelings so often and/or so intensely, don't miss this episode!

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EP 437: Get Out of Your Head with Ivy 0

Jan 31, 2024

This coaching call is about getting out of our heads and into our bodies. Today’s caller, Ivy, had to suppress her natural inclinations as a child and she doesn’t feel safe in her body. She asks Christine for guidance around releasing the blocks to get what she wants from life. This session is extremely helpful if you relate to being in your head, or cognitive, or thinking more than feeling your way through things.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode437].

As children, we internalize and amplify the voice and the messages of our parents and that is what becomes our inner voice, or inner critic. And, often, why we don’t feel safe in our bodies because we left our bodies at a very young age due to not feeling safe. We didn’t feel safe to be ourselves, and we didn’t feel safe mentally or emotionally.

There are so many things we do to protect ourselves. And what often happens is we hurt ourselves more. But until we realize so much of what we’re doing is protective patterning and until we find another way to “protect” ourselves, we keep doing the things that make us feel safe even if they aren’t the healthiest things for us. It is so deeply healing to get into our body and communicate with our inner child.

Remember, working with a coach or therapist is great, but it can be helpful if the person you are working with has struggled with similar things you are struggling with.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have trouble getting out of your head into your body?
Have you been told to do somatic work or body-based practices but you just can’t seem to do it?
Do you have a fierce inner critic?
Do you carry a lot of shame?

Ivy’s Question:

Ivy would like guidance on how to remove the blocks that are keeping her from taking action to get where she wants to be.

Ivy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is in therapy.
She thinks she may have a block due to body shaming.
She is unable to identify how she feels.
She thinks she is emotionally unavailable.
She finds it difficult to express her anger.
She feels she is not worthy.
She struggles with using her internal compass.
She criticizes herself.
She has inner child wounding.
She would like to get out of her head.
She was shamed for being emotionally expressive as a child.
She doesn’t feel safe in her body.
She fears people will see her as messy and unlovable.
She had to suppress herself as a child.
She is committed to her healing.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find her passionate parental voice.
Know that she is worthy.
Do inner child work. Possibly Journey to Joy.
Find things that work for her, not just what she is told to do.
Commit to loving herself and giving herself the childhood she didn’t have.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How to Actually Know When Your Inner Child is Triggered and What to Do About it 0

Jan 27, 2024

We got a lot of feedback and questions from our last episode where we shared about some big inner child triggers that were coming up for us. In this episode we break down what exactly was being triggered, how we knew it was our inner child and how we handled it. We also give YOU tips on how to know when your little one is triggered and how to love them through it.

Please join us for our three day FREE workshop on connecting more deeply to your inner child called JOURNEY TO JOY

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EP 436: What to do When Guilt and Grief Go Together with Michelle 0

Jan 24, 2024

This coaching call is about grief and guilt about past choices. Today’s caller, Michelle, is doing her best to navigate through the guilt and shame she feels about a decision she made. This is a beautiful conversation that can be triggering for a lot of reasons. Please listen with an open heart, open mind, and compassion. We all can relate on some level to making decisions we regret, or are not proud of, or that we feel shame or guilt around.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode436].

With any choice, it is easier to look into the past from where we are now and evaluate the choice and wish we had done something differently. We have an amazing ability to judge and punish ourselves for a decision we made in the past. When truly we were making the best decision we could at the time.

If you have shame, guilt, or regret over a choice you made, how is that serving you? What is the guilt doing? How much longer do you want to punish yourself?

Eventually, we have to let the guilt go and get to forgiveness because unless you have a time machine there is no way to change it. The only thing we can do is move forward.

When a person, especially a mother, is taking care of their health and making decisions that are most in alignment with their truth, it benefits their child.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you made a choice that you have shame or guilt about?
Are you trying to justify a decision you have made?
Is there a part of you that doesn’t feel safe and secure?
Can you get out of your head, your beliefs, or your judgments and allow your heart to open to feel what you need to feel?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle is asking for guidance on how to release the grief she feels about terminating her pregnancy.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Michelle terminated her unexpected pregnancy last year.
She felt she was abandoning her inner child.
Her young-woman energy was not ready to have a child.
She feels unworthy, unsafe, and insecure.
She wants one day to step into motherhood but wants to release her grief first.
She knows the pregnancy came into her life for a reason.
She knows she made the best decision for her.
She’s been trying to connect with the soul because she didn’t during her pregnancy.
She was not ready to be a mother.
She knows she is worthy but finds it difficult to embody it.
She wants to let go of things that don’t serve her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Know that taking care of ourselves is the best thing for our children.
It is time to deal with her inner child wound.
Grieve without the story and the justification.
Ask the child what it was there to teach her.
Create safety and security for herself.
Check out Byron Katie’s “The Work.”
She is worthy of love.
Trust her decisions.
Join the Journey to Joy inner child workshop.
Prepare to consciously conceive with love.

Takeaways:

Where are you not making self-honoring choices in the name of love?

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: My Hubby and Talk about Why Inner Child Work is so Important to our Marriage and Parenting 0

Jan 20, 2024

This is a juicy one! Stef and I talk about how our daughter Athena is taking us to the next level of inner child work...for ourselves and others. We discuss what inner child healing is and why it's so important - and what can happen (or not happen) in your life if you "keep the past in the past" and continue to neglect your own inner child. Inner child work is not woo-woo or airy-fairy...it is perhaps the most important and pivotal work you can do for yourself, your family, your community and the world.

To join us for our FREE 3 day inner child workshop, go to christinehassler.com/joy

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EP 435: How to Clear the Blocks to Go After What You Truly Desire with Matt 0

Jan 17, 2024

This coaching call is about removing blocks. Today’s caller, Matt, has fears related to starting a new entrepreneurial business based on childhood wounding. Christine offers guidance about how he can release his self-protective mechanisms and fears of not being worthy of success.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode435].

There are life-changing repercussions from significant childhood events where we felt shame, were not seen, or were not loved for who we are. Those events can create conscious and subconscious blocks because deep down our inner child believes something is wrong with them.

Many of us don’t get to where we want to go in life because we haven’t healed the origin wound that is holding us back.

We can get critical of the ways we believe we are sabotaging ourselves. But in reality, we are not sabotaging ourselves, we are protecting ourselves. The next time you notice yourself procrastinating or making excuses, put your hand on your heart and remember that it is just a form of self-protection and that you are safe to express yourself because you are an adult now and you’ve got this.

Did you set goals for 2024? Being personally matched with a coach may be the support you need to make your intentions a reality. Commit to six highly-curated sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.

Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos in February. Sign up at christinehassler.com/joy

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Was there an event in your life that has dramatically impacted how you see yourself and how you see the world?
Is there something you want to do, maybe a career you want to step into or a relationship you want to take to the next level but you’re terrified?
Do you fear rejection?
Do you fear getting your heart broken, so much so that you don’t go after the things you want?

Matt’s Question:

Matt has blocks around starting a video production business.

Matt’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He has a day job.
He had an HIV diagnosis that changed his trajectory.
He runs a support group for others with HIV.
He fears that something will go wrong when he tries something new.
He is in a two-year relationship.
He has a block around planning for the future.
He has childhood wounds around being who he is.
He has a lot of awareness about his blocks.
He’s been incorporating inner child work into his life.
He wants to get his website up and running but he is stalling and making excuses.
He has time management concerns around starting a new business.
He loves video editing and being creative.
He acknowledges it is OK to have fears.
He is ready to make a change.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Change his language when talking about his fears and protective patterns.
Don’t get frustrated with the protective part of his psyche.
Completely accept himself for who he is.
Know he is lovable.
Get a picture of himself as a teen and use it as a tool to follow his “why.”

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Gut Health with Josh Dech 0

Jan 13, 2024

Josh is an ex-paramedic, and Holistic Nutritionist, specializing inIK8VB gut health. It was the successes his clients have had with complex digestive diseases, previously thought to be impossible, that got him connected to some of the world's most renowned doctors.

Since then, he’s been recruited to the Priority HealthAcademy as a medical lecturer, helping educate doctors on the holistic approach to gut health, and complex digestive issues.

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EP 434: How to Create More Romance in Your Relationship with Joey 0

Jan 10, 2024

This coaching call is about doing the work and not expecting a partner to bring the romance to you. Today’s caller, Joey, is yearning for more romance and intimacy in her marriage but her fear of abandonment may be holding her back from deeper intimacy. Christine offers guidance on how Joey can accept her partner for who he is and create more romance in her relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode434].

We all can relate to that initial stage of a relationship where it’s hot and heavy and you can’t get enough of each other, and then it’s ten years later. How do you sustain that? You can’t. You cannot sustain the initial hormonal rush that happens when you first get together with someone. But, what you can do is grow your passion.

When you initially meet someone, even if it’s your soulmate and fireworks go off, the kind of intimacy you have with someone after you have known them for five, ten, or twenty years is much deeper. And, unfortunately, it cannot be so HOT sometimes because you know someone a little too well. However, if you can reframe how you see it, it can be a turn-on.

Connect to your partner in a way that lights them up instead of expecting them to romance you and seduce you the way you think they should do it. Let that build the passion. Because when you are constantly on someone to be more romantic, passionate, and emotionally available, it is not a turn-on for them.

When you take an interest in what your partner loves, it pays emotional and sensual dividends.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you someone who wants more romance and passion in your relationship?
Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship?
Have abandonment wounds made you more avoidant in relationships?
Are you willing to accept your partner for who they are and see that as the most romantic thing you could ever do?

Joey’s Question:

Joey would like guidance on how to create emotional availability and intimacy in her marriage.

Joey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She and her husband do conscious healing work.
She has abandonment wounds from childhood.
She left her corporate work and is becoming a coach.
She is not sure if it is her emotional unavailability, or her husband’s, creating intimacy issues.
She wants romance and passion from her husband.
She has been married for ten years.
She sets the bar for romance high because of her abandonment wounds.
She may be overlooking when her husband sends intimate signals.
She finds fault and resentment in her husband when he doesn’t meet her expectations.
She creates fantasy relationships with other men in her head.
She is vague when asking for what she wants.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Accept her partner for who he is and stop projecting on him.
Reframe how she looks at passion, romance, and intimacy.
Acknowledge, nourish, and encourage her husband when he does romantic or sensual things.
Make space outside of her relationship to ensure intimacy lines don’t get blurred.
Remind herself that what she truly craves is consistency and stability.
Be clear about what she wants.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Guided New Year's Ritual Part Two 0

Jan 6, 2024

This is the second part of my annual ritual to complete this year and step forward into 2024 with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a receiving process and meditation to start 2024 with steps to get clear about what you want to call in. Be sure to listen to the 2023 release episode to prepare you to receive freely.

We are $30 off on our breathwork and meditation series. Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork and use the promo code 2024.

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EP 433: Healing the Sister Wound with Mariella 0

Jan 3, 2024

This coaching call is about letting go of wanting to be right and healing a sister wound. As a teenager, today’s caller, Mariella, idealized her older sister but didn’t agree with her relationship choices. She feels her concern fell on deaf ears. She is asking for guidance on how to let go of her need to be right and to be happy with her sister.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode433].

In communications with others, we need to be honest with ourselves about whether we are sharing our feelings or just sharing our opinions. If we want vulnerable, healthy, authentic connections with people, use “I” language and share feelings rather than opinions. Because other people’s lives are none of our business. We can have multiple opinions about the lives of others but they don’t matter.

Also, be honest with yourself about how often you want to be right. What do you get from being right? We can have a difference of opinion with others and not push the point without letting people walk all over us. An argument just to prove we are right is not worth the energetic real estate it takes to wait for our position to be validated.

We can take 100% responsibility for our lives without being in other people’s business. We can either let go of our past by processing and accepting it, or we continue to live with it in our present.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there something that happened and you are waiting for someone to tell you that you are right?
Have you been hurt or have you had an expectation hangover regarding your sister or a female friend?
Are you someone who feels that you give more in relationships than you receive?

Mariella’s Question:

Mariella would like to feel validated by her sister and let down the wall she has up when it comes to her sister’s happiness.

Mariella’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She felt her sister’s ex wasn’t good for her sister when she was young.
She felt her sister chose her ex over her.
She felt her sister didn’t listen to her or take her views seriously.
She was 13. Her sister was 18.
She is waiting for her sister to tell her she was right.
She finds it difficult to be happy for her sister.
Her sister is going to remarry.
She wants what is best for her sister.
She feels a responsibility to keep the family in order.
She is happily married.
She feels that her feelings don’t matter.
She is disappointed that her sister doesn’t fit into her idea of who she should be.
She has difficulty coming to terms with who her sister is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Tell her inner child what she needs to hear without expecting her sister to do it.
Realize her sister’s life is not her business.
Accept her sister for who she is.
Be happy with her sister, not for her.
Grieve and accept that she will never receive validation from her sister.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 10% discount when you upgrade your kitchen experience.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Guided New Year's Ritual Part One 0

Dec 30, 2023

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2023 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week’s episode where I offer you a process to receive 2024. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process.

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CC: Transform your life by working in partnership with your emotional energy with Dr. Julia DiGangi 0

Dec 23, 2023

Dr. Julia DiGangi is a neuropsychologist. She has nearly two decades of experience studying the connection between our brains and our behavior. Dr. DiGangi has worked with leaders at The White House Press Office, global companies,international NGOs, and the US Special Forces. Her understanding of stress, trauma, and resilience is also informed by her work in international development and humanitarian aid, where she served some of the world's most vulnerable communities. The founder of NeuroHealth Partners, a neuropsychology-based consultancy, DiGangi shows people—at work and athome—how to harness the power of the brain to lead more satisfying and emotionally intelligent lives. Connect with Julia DiGangi at drjuliadigangi.com.

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EP 432: Trust That You Can Trust People with Samantha 0

Dec 20, 2023

This coaching call is about learning to trust others. Today’s caller, Samantha, was bullied as a child and finds it difficult to trust others enough to make new friends. She asks for guidance on expanding her circle of friends and allowing herself to be truly seen by others.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode432].

We can get a thousand compliments, and a thousand great things can happen but we always seem to remember the one yucky thing someone said or did. And, often, it can be much stronger than yucky. It can be downright traumatic. Being bullied, not feeling like you fit in, and not feeling that you can trust people are very traumatic because they push against our need for belonging, which is a safety and survival need.

If you have a hard time trusting people, really the person you don’t trust is yourself.

If you are looking at something in your life that feels like a big problem or block, look to where the beliefs or behaviors have served you. Consider how you can reframe it. Choose wisely or pay attention to your intuition if something comes up. Or, if someone betrays you, stand up for yourself. Stand up to a bully. Get honest with yourself, and stop playing the victim.

The CIT coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Would you like to have more people in your life but you just don’t trust people?
Are you expecting people to hurt you and find it hard to trust others?
Was there an early-life event that shaped the way you make friendships and let people in?

Samantha’s Question:

Samantha struggles to trust people and would like guidance on how to be more open to expanding her inner circle.

Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She was bullied as a young girl.
She doesn’t trust people immediately.
She wants to be open to additional friendships.
People don’t seem safe to her.
She feels people are out to get her.
She feels blocked from making new friends.
She wants to protect herself and be free.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Learn to trust herself.
Reframe what she tells herself.
Challenge her existing beliefs.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Become Emotionally Wealthy and Financially Healthy with Manisha Thakor 0

Dec 16, 2023

Manisha Thakor has worked in financial services for more than thirty years, with an emphasis on women’s economic empowerment and financial wellbeing. A nationally recognized thought-leader in this space, Thakor has been featured in a wide range of publications including the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, NPR, PBS, CNN, Real Simple, and Women’s Health. Prior to writing MoneyZen, Thakor co-authored two personal finance books for women in their twenties and thirties. Today her work focuses on helping people of all ages to balance financial health and emotional wealth. Thakor earned her MBA from Harvard Business School, her BA from Wellesley College and is both a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). She splits her time between Portland, Oregon and rural Maine. Her website is MoneyZen.com. Manisha's Media Reel

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EP 431: How to Let Go of Shame & Guilt We’ve Carried Since Childhood with Michelle 0

Dec 13, 2023

This coaching call is about being curious about body parts and sexuality with other children as a child and then feeling shame and guilt about it as an adult. Today’s caller, Michelle, was a curious child who did not have a good representation of what sex was. She asks for guidance on how to forgive herself and release her guilt and shame.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode431].

How do we raise children not to be ashamed of their bodies, to feel comfortable with their sexuality, and to have boundaries? It comes down to present parenting and having an open dialogue about sexuality and boundaries. Oftentimes, when we are raised with the programming that sex is saved until marriage, there’s a curiosity that isn’t quenched.

When parents don’t have conversations about human sexuality, children do not get their questions answered. Children are naturally curious and will find out on their own if a parent does not make them aware that sexual curiosity is a very natural thing that children have.

If this conversation resonates with you it is time to forgive those places inside that hold guilt and shame. It doesn’t do us any good. Healing, learning, and re-parenting our inner child is what helps us grow.

Christine is accepting new private one-on-one coaching clients and small groups of 2‒4 people for coaching sessions. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/VIP.

An additional coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you carrying around shame and guilt from your childhood or the past?
Did you sexually explore with other children and have shame about it as an adult?
As a parent, are you thinking about how to address or handle sexuality with your child?
Are you willing to finally forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself to live the life you want?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle asks for guidance on releasing the shame and guilt she has carried since childhood.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

As a child, she sexually explored with a family member.
She believes it is limiting her sexual pleasure as an adult.
The exploration happened 30 years ago.
She has had a conversation about it with her husband.
She was raised in a religious home.
She has a curious nature.
Her mother spoke about sex in a way that made her uncomfortable.
She doesn’t feel she pressured anyone into sexual exploration.
She was parentified too soon.
She carries the shame deeply in her body.
She punishes herself and makes herself a villain.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Understand she was not a predator.
Forgive herself for a situation she cannot go back and change.
Forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was responsible at eight to ten years old.
Complete the Inner Child Workshop.
Write down her beliefs and judgments about her situation and forgive herself for each one.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 430: What To Do When Things Feel Out of Control When You Really Like Control with Cato 0

Dec 6, 2023

This coaching call is about feeling out of control when being in control is how we have compensated for not getting what we needed as children. Today’s caller, Cato, is pregnant and her lack of control is creating panic. She asks Christine for guidance on how to be okay with the changes in her life and her fear of feeling insignificant.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode430].

As children, we need to belong. We need love. And we need to feel safe. So, whatever we need to do and whoever we need to become to get those things, we do. The need for significance comes from not feeling enough as a child, not feeling significant just for who we are. So as an adult, we are constantly looking for people to see us, love us, and tell us how wonderful we are because that need was not fulfilled in childhood. Either we weren’t told we were good or we only were told we were good when we did something “good.”

Something important for people to talk about is that — Yes, having a baby is blissful and magical AND it can be really hard at times. There are times when the hard times are more than the amazing times and that’s okay. It is an identity death like no other and there’s no way around that.

The more we resist it and try to hang on to who we were or to keep that version of us, the more we are going to bump up against resistance. Because when we get pregnant and when we give birth, the old version of us dies and the maiden becomes the mother. We have to find our new identity at the same time that we are learning to care for another human being. It’s a lot.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you like control? Does it make you feel calm and safe?
Do you consider yourself a capable, on-top-of-it person but something has completely thrown you off your game?
Do you fear not being relevant or not being significant?
Do you know how to receive, or do you believe that you must do to receive and be relevant?

Cato’s Question:

Cato fears that her pregnancy will make her irrelevant and insignificant. She is asking for guidance on how to be okay with herself and what is happening.

Cato’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is excited about her pregnancy.
Her pregnancy is forcing her to slow down.
She signed up for Elementum Coaching Institute.
Her pregnancy is bringing up depression and feelings of a lack of control.
She is experiencing intense emotions and is unsure of herself for the first time.
She realizes she has been using control to create safety.
She fears slowing down and not being relevant or significant.
Her inner child carries sadness and anger toward her father.
She is unsure if she is worthy of raising her child.
She is embodying receptivity.
She feels closer to her womb and her heart.
She has always kept busy to distract herself from her feelings.
When she slows down, she feels restless.
She finds purpose and meaning in her work.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Welcome the new feelings she is having.
Listen to this episode when it airs.
Embody what it feels like to be in her feminine.
Be curious about her restlessness.
Savor her pregnancy.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 20% discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services