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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: Page 9
Feb 26, 2022

Whitney Goodman is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit and owner of the Collaborative Counseling Center, a private therapy practice in Miami. She helps individuals and couples heal past wounds and create the life they’ve always wanted. In TOXIC POSITIVITY, Whitney offers a powerful guide to owning our emotions—even the difficult ones—in order to show up authentically in the world.

Learn more about Whitney and her book here: https://sitwithwhit.com/

Feb 23, 2022

This episode is about letting go. Today’s caller, Hannah, went into shock after the loss of her mother and is feeling panic and anxiety. We talk through how she has never really allowed herself to grieve. Letting go is one of those things that sound good, right? But when it comes to doing, it can be difficult, especially when it comes to letting go of a dream, person, relationship, or chapter of our lives.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode337]

 

It is a big deal to lose anyone we love, especially when we lose a parent before we thought we would. Many of us know that once our parents age into their 80s and 90s, and their health starts to deteriorate, it can be an easier transition for us because we see them suffering and we want them to be in a better place. But when we lose someone suddenly, it can be shocking.

 

There are a lot of traumatic emotions around an unexpected death. It is physiological energy that needs an outlet. Often, the energy manifests itself as panic and anxiety. Panic and sadness serve a purpose and many times extreme emotions are a cry for help. The person who needs to answer the cry out is us. It is an alert that we need to learn to parent ourselves.

 

Grief sometimes gets a bad rap. Sometimes we feel we need to go through it quickly or do it in a certain order, or we worry we could get stuck in it. But, grief is more than sadness. It is about honoring the love, reminiscing, and appreciating how much we loved the person or thing we grieve.

 

If you haven't already done my Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual, and Release 2021 Ritual. They are available as Coaches corner episodes.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

 

  • Did you have a loss of some kind that you haven’t fully processed or grieved?
  • Do you know what healthy grieving looks like?
  • Do you find yourself dealing with panic and anxiety and would like to shift it?
  • If you did have a loss, are you holding some anger toward God or the universe and are having a hard time reconnecting to your spirituality?

 

Hannah’s Question:

Hannah has been dealing with panic and anxiety since her mother’s death last year. She would like guidance on how to handle what may be a traumatic experience in the future.

 

Hannah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her mother died due to COVID-19.
  • She has developed PTSD over her mother’s death.
  • Her husband is deploying to the military this year.
  • She feels as if she is on auto-pilot.
  • She felt solely responsible for the planning of her mother’s funeral.
  • She is afraid to grieve because she doesn’t know how it will affect her.
  • She is going to therapy.
  • She experienced family trauma during her youth. She felt sad but people didn’t notice.
  • She and her mother shared a mutual passion for spirituality.
  • She feels anger toward the universe for taking her mother from her.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Read The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise.
  • Allow herself to fully experience grief by considering it as honoring how much she loved her mother.
  • Trust herself to feel to heal.
  • Share her vulnerability with her husband.
  • Express her anger with God and lean into her spirituality.
  • When she is triggered, regulate her nervous system by using techniques to bring her into the present.

 

Takeaways:

  • Are there any areas in your life where you have moved through a loss or transition and you didn’t allow yourself to grieve?
  • Let your emotions out when you feel angry toward God or the universe.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Feb 19, 2022

Today I am joined by one of my dearest friends and someone who inspires me on the regular with her integrity, creativity, and depth of love. Danielle LaPorte is a member of Oprah’s Super Soul 100, and former director of a future studies think tank in Washington, DC. She’s the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, White Hot Truth and The Desire Map, which has sold over 300,000 copies.  

She’s the creator of the Heart Centered Facilitator Program and Membership with 400+ leaders doing Heart Centered conversation circles and workshops in over 30 countries. Her podcast, With Love, Danielle often ranks in iTunes’ Wellness Top 10 with over 1 million downloads. DanielleLaPorte.com was named “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, and has over 5 million visitors per month. Her charity of choice is Ally Global: helping survivors of human trafficking to rebuild their lives. She lives in Vancouver, BC. Find her on Facebook or Instagram @daniellelaporte.

Feb 16, 2022

This episode is transforming nervous habits and meeting unmet needs. Today’s caller, Morgan, has a big part of herself that she wants to change. Her needs in childhood were unmet by her mother and she created a nervous behavior as a coping strategy. If you bite your nails, pick your skin around your fingers, pull apart split ends, or any other nervous habit you would like to transform, this episode will help.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode336]

 

Understanding the why behind a behavior doesn’t make it go away. We need to remember that a nervous behavior is a physiological manifestation of an emotion. It is an alarm system that alerts us that a need that wasn’t met in childhood is still not being met. When we have a nervous habit, it is telling us that we are trying to calm or suppress something.

 

Needs, especially in childhood, are real and important. If certain needs aren’t met at certain stages in life, it hinders who we are as adults. It doesn’t break us but it does impact us. There is a strong developmental need to feel nurtured, nourished, and to feel a calming presence. When we are children our nervous system is developing or imprinting.

 

Needs that are not met in childhood haunt us as adults. Any primary need we didn’t get met in childhood will continue into adulthood. Over time, we develop coping strategies to try to handle the anxiety around that unmet need. If we don’t get our needs met, our coping strategies come with little alarm systems that alert us that we need attention.

 

Anything is healable. The first step of any transformation is acceptance.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

 

  • Do you have a nervous habit you would like to break free from?
  • Do you have shame around that habit?
  • Did you grow up in a house with a parent or parents who had a lot of anxiety?
  • Do you believe you can shift something or do you want to continue carrying around the story that you can’t?

 

Morgan’s Question:

Since childhood, Morgan has had a nervous habit of picking at her skin. She would like guidance on how to manage her anxiety in a healthy way.

 

Morgan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s had a spiritual awakening recently.
  • She grew up in a stable home.
  • Her mother has an anxious personality and body image issues.
  • She worried about her mother’s anxiety.
  • She started picking at her skin because she wasn’t having her needs met.
  • Her mother had conditions around giving love.
  • She felt she had to earn love from her mother.
  • She didn’t feel nurtured as a child.
  • She doesn’t fully understand why she picks her skin.
  • She feels shame around her habit.
  • She doesn’t know what she needs for herself or who she is.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • When she begins picking her skin, stop and ask herself how she can nurture and nourish herself at the moment.
  • Read Discovering the Inner Mother: A Guide to Healing the Mother Wound and Claiming Your Personal Power and Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance.
  • Acknowledge that she loves her mother but there were needs her mother didn’t meet.
  • Look at her skin and scars and have compassion for herself.
  • Believe she can shift her behavior.
  • Grieve her mother wound, do anger release, and let the resentment out.

 

Takeaways:

  • Think about the needs you did not have met as a child and consider how you can give them to yourself now.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Feb 12, 2022

Dr. Thema Bryantis a clinical psychologist and president-elect of the American Psychological Association. She is also a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. With more than twenty years of experience in trauma recovery, she has appeared as a mental health expert on television, radio, and print media. Dr. Thema raises awareness about mental health issues on The Homecoming Podcast and her social media platforms.

 

Her new book 

HOMECOMING: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self is road map for dismantling the fear and shame that keep you from living a free and authentic life.  

Learn more here: https://drthema.com/

Feb 9, 2022

This episode is about loving and accepting all parts of ourselves, even the ones that challenge us. Today’s caller, Odeta, struggles with her attachment to wanting to change a critical part of herself. The judgment and attachment are what is preventing her from being able to shift it. Any part of ourselves we judge or shame or anything we attach ourselves to shifting just holds on stronger.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode335]

 

Self-love is not a state of being where we are in complete unconditional love with ourselves all the time or we love all parts of ourselves all the time or we never get triggered. Maybe there are some people on the planet who live that way, but they are few and far between. No matter how much work we do, we are still human. We still have parts that maybe we don’t like very much; maybe our inner critic comes up. Self-love is the same to me as self-assurance. It is radical self-acceptance. It is accepting all parts of us, even the ones we want to change.

 

For all coaches or anyone in the helping field, it is important for us to be honest about where we are. Walking the talk isn’t about being perfect. Walking the talk isn’t about having it all together, that is more about wearing a mask. Walking the talk is about owning that we have areas where we are doing well and the areas where we recognize that we are still human and that we are still learning. To be an effective coach, therapist, or practitioner, you don’t have to arrive at some magic place. It is more about having the training, the experience, the intention, and the skills to hold space for people as they go through things you have been walking through too.

 

Take the expectation off of yourself that you have to be perfect. Stay human.

 

Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute closes on March 10, 2022. It begins mid-March. It is a nine-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

 

  • Do you intend and strive for self-love but you can’t seem to get there?
  • Do you have a nasty inner critic or inner judge that gets in your way?
  • Is it hard for you to love and accept certain parts of yourself but are dead set on getting them to change?

 

Odeta’s Question:

Odeta has done a lot of personal development work but fear and judgment of her ability to self-love are holding her back from being her best self.

 

Odeta’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She can be paralyzed by anxiety.
  • She is a coach, yoga instructor, and breathwork facilitator.
  • She is an inspiration to her clients but is critical of herself.
  • She feels she is learning the same lessons over and over.
  • She is an overachiever and then burns herself out.
  • She has done a lot of personal development work.
  • She feels like an imposter and wants to show up differently.
  • She feels like her inner critic is an enemy.
  • She was bullied and body shamed as a teenager and didn’t understand why.
  • She grew up in an immigrant family.
  • She tried to be perfect at everything to better belong.
  • Part of her is stuck in her adolescence.
  • She feels resistant to shifting.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

 

Takeaways:

  • Any aspect of you that you don’t like, that you want to change, has a positive intention. Until you can fulfill that positive intention in another way it is going to hang on.
  • The essence of self-love is loving and accepting all parts of ourselves.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Feb 5, 2022
Do you want to learn more about that voice in your head? Then you'll love this episode.  Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world's leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor at the University of Michigan and the Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed on CBS EveningNewsGood Morning AmericaAnderson Cooper Full Circle,and NPR's Morning Edition.
He is the bestselling author of CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Feb 2, 2022

This episode is about shared values and looking at the part we play in the relationship. Today’s caller, Sarah, feels she is at the end of her rope in her relationship and is not sure if she should stay in it or go. The discussion revolves around the different circumstances in her relationship and what we get to is that there is just not enough information yet. If you find yourself at a choice point in your life and are struggling with what to do, either you need more time, or you know the right path and you are resisting taking it.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode334]

 

Many people ask if they should stay or go. Whether it is a relationship, job, or city it can be very difficult to make a decision. If the answer isn’t clear, it means one of two things, either the answer is clear but we don’t like it so we try to make it work. Or, we just don’t have enough clarity about it. In which case, it may not be the right time to make a yes-or-no decision.

 

For a relationship to be successful, there needs to be a level of growth and connection, a level of satisfaction, and the freedom to be ourselves in what we create together. Those are just a fraction of the things that define success in relationships.

 

In a relationship, we must have shared values. At least three or four of our values must be mirrored by our partner. If you don’t have shared values, what is the compass? What is your North Star?

 

What truly brings two people together if not their shared values?

 

Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute is open. It begins mid-March. It is a 9-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum. On Feb. 10, 2022, there is a free webinar; to sign up visit ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/go-pro-masterclass.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a situation where you are doubting whether you should end it or keep going?
  • Do you feel like you are in a relationship where you feel you are focused on growth and you want your partner to be but they don’t value it as much as you do?
  • Do you show up more controlling in a relationship?
  • Do you have communication breakdowns and issues in your relationships?

 

Sarah’s Question:

Sarah is having communication issues in her relationship and feels that she is at the end of her rope when it comes to the conflict. She wants guidance on whether or not she should stay or go.

 

Sarah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She thinks her partner is a great guy.
  • She has communication issues in her relationship.
  • The couple had been in counseling but had to quit.
  • She gave her partner an ultimatum about getting counseling.
  • She has learned to express her needs.
  • She values growth and personal development.
  • She could be in a Journeymate relationship.
  • When she wants to talk things out he gets triggered.
  • They have been together for six years.
  • She is intentional about her life.
  • She feels as if she has to take care of everything and is doing all the work on the relationship.
  • She perceived women to be weak when she was younger.
  • She feels at the end of her rope.
  • She wants to find balance in her life and get out of her head.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Acknowledge her partner and thank him for his efforts toward therapy.
  • Ask her partner if he wants similar things from their relationship.
  • If she does end the relationship, she needs to own 50% of what is happening and see what lessons can be gleaned from it.
  • Listen to the Coaches Corner interview with Dr. Richard Schwartz about Internal Family Systems.
  • Start focusing on the family dynamics she grew up with.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are in a relationship, consider what values you and your partner share.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jan 29, 2022

You are going to love this episode with Britt Frank who is a therapist, teacher, speaker, and trauma specialist who is committed to dismantling the mental health myths that keep us feeling STUCK and SICK. We talk about how to heal trauma, myths the wellness industry perpetuates, why you are NOT broken and so many other juicy topics!

Brit's work focuses on empowering people to understand the inner mechanisms of their brains and bodies. When we know how things work, the capacity for CHOICE is restored and life can and does change. Whether she’s leading a workshop, teaching a class, or working individually with private clients, Britt’s goal is to educate, empower, and equip people to transform even their most persistent and long-standing patterns of thinking and doing.

Britt is also the author of the upcoming book The Science of Stuck—available March 15th wherever books are sold. It’s a research-based tool kit for moving past what's holding you back—in life, in love, and in work.

Learn more here: www.thegreenhousekc.com

Jan 26, 2022

This episode is about the dangers of sweeping things under the rug in relationships. Today’s caller, Angela, is looking for clarity about why she is frustrated and triggered in her family relationships. We discuss ways she can speak her truth with love, use her voice, and stand in her power in her relationships and her life. She brushes things under the rug. If you identify with being a people pleaser, someone who prefers to avoid conflict, or shrug things off when they happen but internalize it later this is a great session for you.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode333]

 

When we don’t stand in our power in our lives, we can’t stand in our power in relationships. Standing in our power can also be said as standing in our empowerment. Sometimes the word power can sound oppressive as if we are not being compassionate, or being selfish. But that is not really what standing in our empowerment means. It’s about being in our truth.

 

If your truth upsets someone, it is not your responsibility as long as you are not blaming them and are taking responsibility for your part, and communicating your thoughts in the most loving way you possibly can. Sometimes speaking our truth can hurt others but if it is done with honesty and love it can lead to growth or growth of a relationship. There is a way to deliver truth and love together. If you are delivering something that may be hard for someone to hear, do it with love.

 

Standing in our empowerment also means not time traveling and being able to regulate our nervous system. There were times as children when we were disempowered or when we didn’t have a voice that led to a pattern of disempowerment in our adulthood. When we are in our power, we are in the present, we are taking care of our inner child. Our nervous system isn’t activated. We aren’t in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

 

And, for HSPs or internalizers, big feelings and big reactivity can be scary. When big feelings come at us, they rattle our nervous system. HSPs often have intuitive gifts growing up but internalizing stuff and repressing relationship issues as adults can suppress intuitive gifts. The nervous system doesn’t feel safe. We can’t choose what we want to suppress and expect our intuitive gifts to open up and be expressed.

 

When you suppress anything you suppress everything.

 

Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute is open. It begins mid-March. It is a 9-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum. On Feb. 10, 2022, I will have a webinar, so be on the lookout for an email from me.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you consistently triggered in your relationships and wonder why you are having the same argument over and over?
  • Did you grow up in a home where your needs were not met? Maybe you couldn’t speak up for yourself or didn’t feel empowered.
  • Are you someone who is great at confrontation or do you avoid conflict?
  • When you are in a situation of reactivity or frustration comes at you, do you fight, flight, freeze, or fawn or do you respond in a regulated way?

 

Angela’s Question:

Angela is triggered by situations in her family and struggling in her relationships. She would like guidance on how to build harmony in her home.

 

Angela’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is in a 10-year relationship with her partner.
  • She has a blended family.
  • She is doing personal development work around what in her past may be triggering her.
  • She wants to build harmony in her home.
  • She was invalidated when she was younger.
  • She had to care for her younger brother when her step-father passed.
  • She gets triggered quickly.
  • Her family has had to leave three different houses.
  • Her partner is quick to anger.
  • She believes a lot of the issues are about power dynamics.
  • She believes men can’t handle their anger.
  • There is a power struggle in her relationship.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • To stand in her healthy feminine and learn how to not personalize what confronts her.
  • Don’t time travel, stay in her adult self, and stay calm while her partner is reacting or explosive.
  • Allow little Angela to stand up for herself and have a voice.
  • Tell her partner how his actions affect her and maybe listen to this episode together.
  • Bring things out into the open. No more sweeping stuff under the rug.

 

Takeaways:

  • Get out of the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Don’t time travel in highly reactive situations so you can respond as an adult and be in your power.
  • Try to have a conversation with your partner in a calm place to remind them that you agreed not to talk to each other in that way.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jan 22, 2022

So many of us are trapped in a never-ending to-do list, looking for the next solution to make us more efficient. But often what we’re left with is feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, burnt out and alone. Madeleine Dore is a writer and interviewer who explores how we can broaden the definition of a day well spent, through regular life experiments and events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives. Madeleine spent five years looking for the secret to productivity, only to find there isn’t one. Instead, she reveals, we’re being set up to fail. Her new book, I Didn’t Do The Thing Today, encourages us to say no to more time management techniques and yes to the joyful messiness and unpredictability of life

 Dore has been asking creative thinkers how they navigate their days on her popular blog Extraordinary Routines and podcast Routines & Ruts. She regularly conducts life experiments and hosts events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives.

Jan 19, 2022

This episode is about making self-honoring choices that empower us. Today’s caller, Jade, wants to break the cycle of being in broken and toxic relationships. We work through helping her connect the dots of needing validation from her current relationships to being disempowered by her mother when she was a child and guidance on how she can break the cycle.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode332]

 

On-and-off-again relationships are a huge red flag. Some relationships need a break where both people can take time apart and work on themselves individually. When they come back together they decide to work through future conflicts together or that the relationship is not working and dissolve it. But, an on-again-off-again relationship demonstrates that the issues in the relationship are not being dealt with. It is a ping-ponging cycle of neither partner changing. If you are in an on-again-off-again cycle I invite you to turn it off for good.

 

If you are in a toxic or on-again-off-again relationship, think about the consistent feelings that come up, ride those feelings back in time, ask those feelings what they are reminding you of, and then deal with it.

 

When we think about connecting the dots of our current challenges to our past it is not always obvious. Often, when we have a “decent” upbringing we overlook the challenges because there isn’t a major trauma that sticks out. Not feeling good enough for a parent and constantly feeling like you need to do what they need you to do, or become some version of yourself they approve of, is a big hurt.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a pattern of being in on-again-off-again relationships?
  • Did you grow up with a parent who was hard on you? Did you hear the phrase “I’m really disappointed in you” a lot?
  • When you do try to end toxic relationships, do you feel so guilty and worried about upsetting the other person that you don’t break up or maintain your boundaries?
  • Do you feel empowered in your life and specifically in relationships? Do you find yourself consumed by the fear of rejection?

 

Jade’s Question:

Jade feels anxiety about her pattern of entering toxic relationships. She wants to know how it connects to her past and guidance on how to heal her inner child.

 

Jade’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been in a cycle of broken/toxic relationships.
  • She tries to adjust herself to the other person.
  • She feels anxious, ashamed, and angry with unpredictable people.
  • Her mother made her feel not good enough and ashamed if she didn’t meet her mother’s standards.
  • She is seeking validation and acceptance in a relationship.
  • She didn’t have a chance to build a relationship with her mother until she was an adult.
  • Her mother disempowered her by not allowing her to make her own decisions.
  • She attracts people who make her feel that she is not enough.
  • Her mother forced dancing on her and she wasn’t able to make her own decisions.
  • She is afraid to lose love and validation.
  • She takes on responsibilities that are not hers.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • End her relationship without any guilt.
  • Explain to her partner’s daughter why she is breaking up.
  • Tell herself she is not responsible for making sure everyone else is okay.
  • Hold off on dating for a while.
  • Investigate healing her mother wound.
  • Acknowledge herself for stepping into self-honoring choices and empowerment.

 

Takeaways:

  • You are not responsible for how other people feel.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jan 12, 2022

This episode is about healing wounds, feminine or masculine. Today’s caller, Emily, wants to heal her sister wound. She has struggled with feeling judged or rejected by other women and fears being vulnerable with them. She would like guidance on how to make new female connections without being anxious. Anyone who may have wounds from their past when it comes to belonging will benefit from listening to this session.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode331]

 

When we are teased, bullied, or have a strict, oppressive, or critical parent we develop an inner critic. Our inner critic can be much worse to us than the original offender was. Because we think if we are harder on ourselves than they were to us we will be more equipped to handle the adversity and pain. We believe it will hurt less when others do it. But, when we have a fierce inner critic it is impossible to be authentically ourselves.

 

When it comes to making friends and being vulnerable we have to dim down the voice of our inner critic. Because our inner critic creates fear and doubt within ourselves and puts up walls, masks, and facades. But, when we show up authentic and honest we are lovable. We fit right in.

 

Remember, childhood wounds are not something we heal in a few days. Part of the healing is to become aware of our patterns and practice transforming them.

 

We heal the sister wound by getting honest and vulnerable with our sisters.

 

Listeners of this show are invited to attend a free training session from Steven Kessler. His The Secret to Better Relationships: Let the Insight of 5 Personality Patterns will show you how to create thriving relationships. To register for the Wednesday, January 19th session at 11 am PST or 2 pm EST, go to ChristineHassler.com/Steven.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a wound when it comes to belonging and making friends?
  • If you identify as a woman, do you have a sister wound and find it hard to make friends with other women?
  • Did you grow up in a family with a parent or step-parent that was super critical of you and now you have a worse inner critic?
  • Is it often hard for you to be vulnerable and to feel seen? Do you second guess yourself when it comes to interactions with other people?

 

Emily’s Question:

Emily struggles with vulnerability, judgment, and rejection and would like guidance on how to heal her sister wound.

 

Emily’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels anxiety when making new connections or strengthening existing connections.
  • She gets stuck in her head a lot.
  • She fears being judged, rejected, and vulnerable.
  • She attended the Inner Child workshop.
  • She wants authentic relationships.
  • Her inner critic keeps her from being authentic.
  • At age 7, her parents divorced.
  • Her mom had a 15-year relationship with someone who was critical of her.
  • She felt her mom didn’t protect her.
  • She feels anger toward women.
  • She does not feel a sense of belonging with other women but she wants to be part of the group.
  • She has competing intentions.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Journal about what she learned about women and what she thinks relationships with women could be.
  • When interacting with women, keep herself present.
  • When with a woman, or a group of women, internally remind herself that the past is the past. She is in the present and no one is judging her.
  • Console her inner child and provide her with the protection she didn’t get from her mother.
  • Initiate a friendship with a woman she can be vulnerable with.
  • Talk to her inner critic in compassionate ways.

 

Takeaways:

  • Practice working with your inner critic to come across more authentically.
  • Explore the inner feminine wound by completing these sentences in a journal:

“My beliefs about women are …”

           “What I learned about female relationships as an adolescent is …”

            “Female friendships are …”

                       “When I think about being friends with women …”

  • It is time to find your soul sisters and brothers. Find friends that are family.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jan 8, 2022

Teri Cochrane is the founder of the Global Sustainable Health Institute® and an international thought leader in longevity. Through her decades of clinical work, Teri has developed The Cochrane Method®, a future-facing, multisystem health and longevity model. This model examines the intersection of genetic expression due to pathogenic and environmental causes, energy, and her clients’ unique personal blueprint. Teri specializes in solutions to complex health conditions and serves world class athletes. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling new release book, The Wildatarian Diet: Living As Nature Intended.

Visit: https://tericochrane.com/discount/Christine10 and you can use the code “Christine10” and get 10% all supplements 

 

Jan 5, 2022

This episode is about having a pattern of needing to be in a relationship and feeling like something is missing if you don’t have a person. Today’s caller, Lee, has a lot of awareness, but something is missing, and that is being able to access and release his anger. We work through how to release his anger, grieve his childhood, and step into his power.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode330]

 

If we grow up in a household with a lot of anger, we think all anger is that way. Yet, anger itself is not bad. It is what we do with anger that can be harmful to ourselves or others. Anger projected onto others through words, yelling, abuse, or violation is unhealthy and dark. Anger directed inward such as being hard on yourself, having a bad inner critic, or self-harming is also unhealthy anger. Yet, anger itself is a natural human emotion.

 

If we get our anger out in a safe way we show up more grounded and more present. We become calmer. Remember, we never want to direct our anger at someone and never inward onto ourselves. We want to get a pillow and let our anger out to allow the parts of us that are angry a chance to heal.

 

Releasing anger is an important way we become empowered. Often, what makes us needy is that we haven’t found our fierceness or our voice and we are always looking for somebody else to make us feel a certain way. But, when we can get our anger out and step into our power we stop looking to others to fill a void.

 

If you missed my Release 2021 Ritual Coaches Corner make sure to do it before doing the Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual.

 

Enrollment for the Elementum Coaching Institute is open. Become a master coach upon graduation from the 2022 program.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like something is missing if you are not in a relationship?
  • Do you tend to attract people with an avoidant attachment style?
  • Did you grow up with one or both parents that were either neglectful or abusive?
  • Did you feel unwanted as a child and are consistently trying to love yourself but you can’t seem to let the unloved feelings go?

 

Lee’s Question:

Lee always feels that something is missing in his life. He feels he is drawn to people too quickly.

 

Lee’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He strives to work on his physical and mental health.
  • He feels something is missing in his life.
  • Being with another person makes him feel safe.
  • He uses relationships to fill a void.
  • He has an anxious attachment style.
  • He was neglected and abused in childhood.
  • His father tore the family apart.
  • He felt unwanted and not good enough as a child.
  • He does things to self-soothe.
  • He represses his anger and turns it inward.
  • He outsources his self-worth to other people.
  • He is needy in relationships.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have compassion for himself.
  • Allow his inner child to fully grieve.
  • Let his anger out to release his emotions.
  • Examine the conscious and subconscious vows he made to not be like his father.
  • Step into his masculinity and power.

 

Takeaways:

  • Do the Anger Release exercise to move the energy of anger out.
  • Are there any conscious or unconscious vows or oaths you made to never be like someone? If so, you may be denying a part of your expression and it is likely holding you back from authenticity.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jan 1, 2022

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year’s ritual and guides you through a meditation / visualization to consciously call in 2022.

You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

Dec 29, 2021

This episode is about discerning intuition from fear-based thoughts. Today’s caller, Tamy, doubts herself and uses constant learning as a compensatory strategy when she may not have fully integrated the information she has already gathered. If you have ever wondered if your feelings are fear-based or truly your intuition, or struggle with self-doubt, this is a great session to tune into.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode329]

 

We often try to compensate for our self-doubts by people-pleasing, caretaking, obsessing about how we look, or being on a constant train of achieving or learning. Too much learning can be compensation for where we feel self-doubt.

 

You can be in radical self-acceptance or confidence, and still know there are things you are practicing and integrating.

 

When we truly listen to our intuition and when we are on track with our personal development work, we stay aligned. We won’t get on an ego-driven path. Ego-based success and compensatory success are houses of cards. And, that is what we fear because we can start to feel like a fraud. We feel as if we could lose everything. If you listen to your intuition, you will stay on a path of success that is sustainable.

 

Start paying more attention to how your intuition works. Start with little things. Intuition comes in more clearly when we are not distracted. The less we distract ourselves with thoughts of self-worth, validation, and acceptance the more space our intuition has to present itself.

 

If you missed my Release 2021 Ritual Coaches Corner make sure to do it before doing the Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual available this week.

 

We have a holiday gift for you this January. Get $30 off of our Breathwork and Guided Meditation series. Use promo code ‘holiday’ at christinehassler.com/breathwork.

 

The Early Bird discount for the Elementum Coaching Institute ends December 31, 2021, so get your application in.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you sometimes wonder if the information you’re getting or if the thoughts you are having are your intuition or fear?
  • Are you addicted to learning, always believing there is more you need to learn?
  • Do you doubt yourself or struggle with self-acceptance?
  • Do you have a fear of success; not just failure, but a bit of fear of success?

 

Tamy’s Question:

Tamy wants to know how to recognize and trust her intuition and get rid of self-doubt.

 

Tamy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is an intuitive person.
  • She fears taking action.
  • She has developed ways to rely on herself.
  • She judges herself and doubts her abilities.
  • She feels she doesn’t know enough.
  • She has higher standards for herself than she does for others.
  • She has been chronically learning without leaving time for integration.
  • She fears success.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Listen to her intuition and consider where she is being guided next.
  • Consider how her thoughts make her feel. If it makes her feel fear it is not her intuition.
  • Respond to the guidance she gets.

 

Takeaways:

  • Journal about what would happen if you are successful. Start with ‘If I am successful then…’ and see what comes up for you.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 25, 2021

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention!  In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2021 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week's episode where I offer you a process to receive 2022. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process :)

Dec 22, 2021

This episode is about prioritizing ourselves and our children. Today’s caller, Aprisa, is a single mother who looks to others to get her needs met. She had a traumatic childhood and has not yet healed her inner child wounding. We also discuss depression and how highly-sensitive people have more proclivity to depression because feeling big emotions can feel scary.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode328]

 

With single parents, the rightful roles of parent and child can get a little murky.

It is important not to hide our emotions from our children. It is okay for them to see us sad or angry but we want to make sure they know it is not their responsibility. Sadness doesn't last forever but it is important to feel it because when we hold down our emotions they get stuck. 

 

What often happens with people who are depressed is that they don't know what to do with their big feelings. They end up being distant, irritable, or sad. When what they need to get at is their anger, rage, grief, shame, and other big feelings. Oftentimes, when someone is diagnosed with depression it is important to look at the root cause and what else could be going on. And, many times the diagnosis of depression can be limiting. 

 

When we suppress our feelings and are not connected with our inner child we can collapse into the subconscious programming, patterning, and time travel when we are triggered.

 

Be on the lookout for my soon-to-be-released Year in Review episode and join me in releasing 2021 and calling in 2022.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you an introvert or a highly sensitive person who has a proclivity to depression, especially when you suppress emotions?
  • Have you found yourself parentifying a spouse or partner? Or, are you spousifying your child? 

 

Aprisa’s Question:

Aprisa is triggered by her traumatic past and doesn’t feel her needs are being met in her current relationship.

 

Aprisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a single mother.
  • She has abandonment trauma from her past.
  • She just moved to a new continent with her son.
  • She is currently in a relationship and puts her boyfriend before herself and her son.
  • She has been clinically diagnosed with depression.
  • She feels her needs are not being met.
  • She wants to feel peace and not be triggered.
  • She has big emotions and doesn't know how to explain them.
  • She looks to her partner to heal her inner child.
  • She gets triggered and emotionally falls back on her subconscious programming. 
  • She is passing on her anxious attachment style to her son.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Reduce the burden on her son by reframing how she explains her depression to him.
  • Create a secure attachment to her son to bring her closer to her inner child.
  • Acknowledge her big feelings and realize she is not doing anything wrong.
  • Connect to her inner child and love and parent herself with love and compassion.
  • Resist the addiction to codependency.
  • Prioritize herself and her son.

 

Takeaways:

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 18, 2021
Another dear friend of mine joins me on the podcast today to discuss how to tap into and trust your intuition, the importance of leaving unhealthy relationships and the magic and power of animals. Alyson Charles is a shaman and spiritual teacher who is devoted to living by the calls of inner wisdom, mysticism, energy medicine, and shamanic practices she has mastered through her studies with spiritual teachers, both of and beyond this world. She leads global courses, events, and talks to reconnect people to their fullest power and confidence through sacred practices and rituals. Alyson's power animal shamanic journey was named a top meditation to try by O, The Oprah Magazine, and she has collaborated with a range of media outlets and brands, including the New York Times, HBO, National Geographic, Well + Good, mindbodygreen, Forbes, Elle, and Self.  
You can pre-order her beautiful new book here: https://www.alysoncharles.com/animalpower
Dec 15, 2021

This episode is about making self-honoring choices without feeling selfish. Today’s caller, Pooja, has a beautiful relationship with her parents but is torn between pursuing her dream of being a life coach and staying in the U.S. or moving home to be closer to her aging parents who miss her. This episode will help you to get out of limbo and make decisions that feel selfish.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode327]

 

We want to make choices that are aligned with us versus a “should.” Choices made from “should” create a higher likelihood of resentment. We either end up resenting the people who pulled us to make the choice or we resent ourselves for making the choice because we feel like we betrayed and abandoned ourselves, which is never a good situation.

 

Whenever you feel the pull of both duty and desire, ask yourself what the most self-honoring choice is, because when we make the most self-honoring choice we are less likely to feel resentment later. We show up more authentically in our relationships when we make choices that are self-honoring.

 

Choose something, start to take steps forward, and then if you need to choose something else, you can.

 

If you are considering becoming a great coach, the $2,500 early bird discount for enrollment in ElementumCoachingInstitute.com ends on December 31, 2021. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com if you have specific questions.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you struggling with a decision or choice, or have you been in limbo and it is causing you a lot of anxiety?
  • Are you often torn between what you want to do and duty, obligation, or love you feel for your family that is pulling you in a different direction?
  • Do you live far away from your parents or your family and feel a pull to be closer to them but also pull to stay where you are because you love it?
  • When you make a choice that feels self-honoring does it feel selfish to you?

 

Pooja’s Question:

Pooja is transitioning careers and is not yet ready to return to India to be with her aging parents. She would like guidance on whether to return or to follow her dream.

 

Pooja’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She moved to the U.S. with the intention of returning home after a work assignment.
  • She and her husband have been in the U.S. since 2013.
  • She is going through a career transition.
  • Her parents may expect her and her husband to return to India.
  • Her dream is to be a life coach.
  • She is torn between duty, obligation, and love.
  • She hasn’t had a heart-to-heart conversation with her parents about her dream.
  • Her values are aligned with her parents’ values.
  • Her parents have given her freedom in her life and have never asked her for anything.
  • Her parents are aging but healthy.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Make a decision without expectations or “shoulds.”
  • Have a conversation with her parents about her dreams and goals.
  • Commit to a decision and know that she can change it if she feels a nudge from her intuition.
  • Keep in contact with her parents via video.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are struggling with a decision/choice, remember you are not locked in. Empower yourself by getting out of limbo.

 

Sponsor:

STORYWORTH — Do you have your gifts ready for the holidays? A thoughtful and meaningful gift you can give a family member is Storyworth. Storyworth helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles the stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Dec 11, 2021

This episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles.  I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments.

A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003.  She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work.  Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to focusing on couples.  Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality for couples founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, and affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning.

In addition to maintaining a part time private practice, Ellen is on faculty for the Relationship School—a business founded by her husband Jayson Gaddis that provides in depth relationship education for anyone who wants to learn, as well as training for relationship coaches. 

Dec 8, 2021

This episode is about setting healthy boundaries and speaking our truth. Today’s caller, Nicole, grew up in an unhealthy family dynamic. Her grandmother didn’t accept her family and tried to split them up. She wants to be at peace with the situation but has not yet dealt with her anger. During the holidays, if you are the one who is breaking generational patterns, you may be called selfish or righteous. It can be a difficult place to be put in. But, I encourage you to stand in your truth.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode326]

 

So many families use guilt and obligation to get people to do things. If you don’t play into it then you may be told you are uncaring or disappointing. But, remember, guilt and obligation are not love. Just because you say no or have a boundary does not mean you do not love your family; it just means you are not playing into the unhealthy family dynamic.

 

Love itself is unconditional. You can love your family and have compassion for them but relationships are not unconditional. You wouldn’t stay in a relationship if the person lied, cheated, or took your money. And, just because someone is a blood relative doesn’t give them the right to have a relationship with you if they are violating certain boundaries. We can all have loving boundaries and have compassion for people but not tolerate their behavior. I don’t believe that just because someone has had a hard life and has been hurt, that they should have a get-out-of-jail-free card to mistreat other people.

 

We don’t have to let that into our lives. Just because someone has had a hard life it doesn’t give them the right to make our life hard.

 

Considering becoming a coach? Take a moment to listen to my Coaches Corner episode #312 with Alexi Parnos, co-founder of ElementumCoachingInstitute.com.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel guilty if you shut certain people, especially family members, out of your life? Are you carrying around anger or resentment about how you’ve been treated by your family?
  • Are you mad at your parents for not sticking up for you inside of their family?
  • If you are a parent, what do you want to teach your child about family dynamics?

 

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole is considering cutting her father’s family out of her life and would like guidance on how to navigate through an unhealthy family dynamic.

 

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her father’s family tried to split her parents up.
  • She wants to cut her father’s family out of her life.
  • Her grandmother wants to form a relationship with her daughter.
  • She is holding onto hurt and anger.
  • She wants to be at peace with the situation.
  • She hasn’t recognized the impact the situation has had on her.
  • She played a therapist for her mother as a child.
  • Her father was afraid to stand up for his own family.
  • Her grandmother sends passive-aggressive notes.
  • She gets triggered by her grandmother.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Process her emotions to move into forgiveness.
  • Do the Empty Chair process and have a conversation with little Nicole about what she needs and give her a voice.
  • Mother her inner child.
  • Let herself release her anger or write an FU letter.
  • Set boundaries and open her heart.

 

Takeaways:

  • Get honest with yourself about unhealthy family dynamics.
  • Will this be the year you speak your truth? Will you have a care-frontation conversation about what is going on? Or will this be another year of people-pleasing, swallowing your feelings, and having guilt and obligation, or just avoiding your family altogether?

 

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Thirdlove obsesses over every stitch. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 4, 2021
If you are interested in becoming a coach or already are a coach and want to be even more impactful, don't miss this episode.  You've heard me talk about the coaching certification program I co-founded with Stef, Preston Smiles and Alexi Panos.  Today, my dear friend and partner, Alexi, joins me as we take a deep dive into describing the Elementum Coaching Institute.
 
We cover: why and how it's different from other certification programs, how it's structured, what you learn, what you receive, and SO much more.  If you've been considering enrolling in Elementum, this episode will answer so many of your questions.
 
A little more about Alexi . . .
 
A leader in the Emergent Wisdom movement,  Alexi Panos was named as one of FORBES Top 11 Women Entrepreneurs, INC's magazines TOP 10 ENTREPRENEUR'S CHANGING THE WORLD, one of Origin Magazines TOP 100 CREATIVES CHANGING THE WORLD, and is a featured expert in the films THE ABUNDANCE FACTOR, RISEUP and AGE OF THE ENTREPRENEUR.  Alexi is a  Master Leadership and Embodiment trainer  and co-founder in The Bridge Method workshops and The Elementum Coaching Institute, host of the Top 10 Self Improvement Podcast UNLEASHED, business strategist, filmmaker and humanitarian (through her organizations E.P.I.C. and The Sisters Society); and as a bestseller, Alexi has authored the books 50 WAYS TO YAY! and NOW OR NEVER, both by Simon & Schuster. Alexi is a proud mama to 4 kids and currently lives in Austin, TX.  Follow her on Instagram and Youtube @alexipanos. www.alexipanos.com @alexipanos
Dec 1, 2021

This episode is about healing sexual blocks in relationships. Today’s callers, Adam & Reanna, want to heal past trauma and have a healthy sex life together. I guide them through an exploration process. This session is useful even if there is no trauma in your past; It is an intimate process that brings couples closer together. And, because in many ways sex is something still taboo to talk about, and often shamed, I want to normalize the conversation. 

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode325]

 

Many times, we think men are the ones who want more sex but it's not gender, sexual identity, or sexual orientation specific. It is life-experience specific. Our experiences impact our sex life. There isn’t a childhood trauma that doesn't impact our sex life, even if there is no sexual abuse. Any kind of childhood trauma impacts our emotional, mental, financial, and sex life.

 

We often forget about intimacy and what a turn-on intimacy can be, even when we are dating. Our bodies talk to us. Especially as women, if we do not feel safe in our emotional body, our physical body will give us signs. And, many of the blocks in couples’ sex lives arise because they aren't reaching the levels of deeper emotional intimacy.

 

Having healthy sexuality is more than just having a good sex life. It is about feeling comfortable in your body, enjoying the sensual experiences of life, and knowing what your turn-ons are. When it comes to sex many of us consider the performance and pleasing the other person versus what feels good. 

 

Healthy sex is about feeling alive and vital and creative. We don't need a partner to have great sexuality and a great sex life. Sexuality and sex is about more than the physical act. It is an energetic experience. 

 

Get my free 2-part Sacred Union process at ChristineHassler.com/SacredUnion. If you are in a relationship or you are your own beloved this is a great process to increase intimate connection in your life.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have sexual trauma or any other type of trauma that shows up in relationships?
  • Is sex hard for you? Do you mentally want to be able to do it but when it comes to the physical act your body just shuts down and you experience trauma triggers?
  • Are you someone who may have an overactive sex drive, sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, or do you look to sex to fill a void?
  • Does your sex life in your relationship feel stagnant or that it needs some improvement or do you feel stuck?

 

Adam & Reanna’s Question:

Adam & Reanna have sexual issues affecting their relationship. They would like guidance on how to have a healthy emotional and physical relationship together.

 

Reanna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her mother didn’t talk with her about sex.
  • She had a teacher be physically inappropriate with her.
  • She was in a long-term relationship with a controlling person.
  • She has trauma, shame, domestic violence, and PTSD in her life.
  • She wants to do the work to have a healthy relationship with Adam.

 

Adam’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is frustrated because he wants to help Reanna heal.
  • He wants Reanna to want to have sex with him.
  • He sometimes thinks he is addicted to sex.
  • He does not always feel worthy. He relies on physical intimacy to replace emotional intimacy.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Continue counseling and somatic therapy.
  • Slowly and gently explore each other. Take baby steps to intimacy.
  • Practice communicating their needs during the exploration process.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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