There are endless distractions in our lives. Just one glimpse of Facebook or Snapchat and the next thing you know it’s an hour later and you’ve gone down a rabbit hole. Practicing self-care is not as enticing as our phone, the TV or a glass of wine but the payoff is far, far greater. But why is self-care so hard sometimes? How come we know we “should” do things like mediation, journaling, exercise, etc but we don’t actually do them (or stick to doing them)? Because self-care can feel like punishment if we don’t have enough fun and play in our lives. Self-care activities are all solo activities, so instead of us feeling replenished after we do these self-supporting things we may feel isolated. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and as humans, we need 3 types of connections. The first connection humans need is to our higher power (insert your terminology here). The second is to ourselves and the third is to others. If you are not connecting, playing and doing the things that feed your soul then you are going to want to rebel in some way. If we don’t get play in a healthy way then we indulge and procrastinate, all the things which move us away from our self-care practices. If you know what to do in terms of self-care but you are just not doing it, then you will relate to today’s caller Helen. Helen is wondering why she’s not doing the things that are good for her. She goes through spurts but then she gets busy and goes back to old coping mechanisms. We are able to change our state at any time but it takes focus, some intention and a willingness to get into a different mindset and heart set. When we start making decisions with our intuition and not with our head, we can consider our options and then “feel” into them to help decide which is the most fun! If it has been a while since you’ve played and you feel a refresher course is needed listen to this week’s Coaches Corner as I speak to my friend Charlie. Charlie specializes in teaching us how to love and how to play. Also, I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities. And, consider my Secret Sauce event for people who want to uncover their unique secret sauce and up level their business, start a new business or make a career transition. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you feeling stuck or blocked with regards to your self-care? Do you know you “should” but don’t seem to do it? ● Do you have a community of like-minded people you are connected to? Are you getting your soul fed? ● Do you make decisions with your head or your heart? ● Do you know how to play in a way which takes your mind off of everything else? When was the last time you actually played? Helen’s Question: Helen wants to know why she can’t seem to do the things she knows are good for her. Helen’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She doesn’t feed her soul enough ● She is experiencing an Expectation Hangover about her new endeavors ● She needs some connection and play How to get over it and on with it: ● She should make decisions with her intuition and not her head ● She should then follow through with the decision her heart makes ● She needs to feed her soul and add more play in her life Tools and Takeaways: ● Listen to the How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself podcast again. ● Be diligent about connecting with your spiritual, like-minded tribe. And, remember to drop your guard so that you can be truly seen. ● When it comes to decision making, go with what FEELS like it will provide you the most soul food. Make a decision with your heart and then go with it. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Secret Sauce Mastermind
This is a special edition of coaches corner where I feature JILL who you’ve heard me mention a lot on the show. Jill has worked with me for six years and is someone who has so much MOJO. Learn how she keeps her optimistic attitude, upgraded people pleasing tendencies, and keeps moving forward even when she gets “no’s.” I’m so happy to share her with you - listen in for lots of inspiration!!
We live in a world which is far too dependent on external stimuli. We want something outside of us to come along and make us feel a certain way or to create certain results in our lives. We celebrate outcome far more than process. And, while external results are great, the key is to increase our joy and our passion is through the process. Stop waiting for something to happen to start living your heartfelt desires. No one else is going to come along and grant all your wishes. If you are a musician, sing or play your instrument every day. If you are an artist, draw or paint every day. If you are a writer, write every day. If you are a coach, find someone to connect with and serve every day. Whatever that thing is you want to be, do it now. It doesn’t matter if the form isn’t exactly as big or in the exact package that you want, you can express the joy every day or at least every week. The same goes for waiting for someone else. You cannot wait for a person to come along to make you feel a certain way. If you are single and are longing for a romantic partner to feel love and connection, you need to generate those feelings inside yourself. Have an open and full heart instead of being down in the dumps and thinking something is missing. Remember that we are the source of everything in our life. We do not have 100% control over external events but we do have a choice over how we want to feel. You are the source. In today’s call with Melissa, we dive into how she can get her mojo back and how she can get and stay motivated by doing or creating something every day to help her connect with the joy of the process. Thank you all so much for listening to this podcast and as my way of saying thank you, I’m gifting you my eBook titled 32 Days to Uplevel Your Mind and Uplift Your Heart. Click on the link to download it for free. Also, I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities. And consider my Secret Sauce event for people who want to uncover their unique secret sauce and up level their business, start a new business or make a career transition. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you struggling with your mojo or having a hard time getting motivated? ● Are you waiting for some external thing or person to grant your wishes or make you feel a certain way? ● Are you more attached to results and not enjoying the process of your life? ● Is there someone you feel obligated to please by having amazing answers to their questions about your dreams, career or love life? Melissa’s Question: Melissa wants to get her mojo and confidence back regarding her acting career. Melissa’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She may be experiencing adultolescence ● She’s looking for something external to re-ignite her mojo ● She can make her vision clearer ● She teaches people how to treat her by her responses to their questions ● Honoring herself will help get her mojo back How to get over it and on with it: ● She can direct her life more instead of waiting for things to happen to her ● She needs to generate inspiration from inside herself ● She can try to create opportunities to connect with other people ● She can start creating her own content and do it every day ● She should honor her choices and stand by them Tools and Takeaways: ● Write down or act out the times in your life when you had mojo and use it as a reference point to connect back to the feeling. ● Act the part and create the feelings you want to feel every day. ● Practice responding in a different way to those people who make you feel pressure. Be congruent in your own self-acceptance. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler 32 Days to Uplevel Your Mind and Uplift Your Heart - Free Ebook for Podcast Listeners @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Secret Sauce Mastermind
Our guest coach is Kute Blackson who talks about how we find our ultimate soulmate and the true purpose of relationship. Kute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. At 8 years old, Kute began speaking in front of thousands of people at his father’s churches. At 14 years of age, he was ordained as a minister, given the mandate to take over a spiritual organization spanning 300 churches. At age 18, through a series of spiritual awakenings, he left everything behind. His entire life has been dedicated to understanding who we are, what we’re here for, what makes us truly happy and how we can achieve our highest potential. World renowned for creating revolutionary results and a world-shift in consciousness, Kute is widely known as a transformational facilitator, speaker, and leader. Today, the venue for his message may be one-on-one, a vast stadium setting, experiential seminars, and transformational travel intensives all of over the world. And his uniquely inspiring cutting edge videos have reached millions of people worldwide. Kute works with clients from all walks of life, ranging from billionaires, celebrities, entrepreneurs, circus performers, politicians, mothers and children in over 20 countries, and for the past 14 years has been a trusted advisor and coach to CEO’s and world leaders. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality. Kute’s debut book, “You.Are.The.One.” will be released through Simon and Schuster in June 2016. Colored with experiences from his own incredible journey, “You.Are.The.One.” will show readers how to unlock their true potential and live a life they love, through love. Kute is an inspiring modern day spiritual teacher and a bold voice for a new generation.
How are you at making a choice? Do you suffer from analysis by paralysis? Often, we are so obsessed with making the wrong choice we find ourselves paralyzed in the limbo of indecision, which can be hell. Even those big leaps of faith decisions which include a high degree of uncertainty need resolution. You cannot choose wrong, so I encourage you to JUST choose. The only way we get support from the universe is if we take a step and make a decision. You must be 100% all in to get its support. Today’s caller Cecilia wants permission to make a decision. She has allowed logistics to block any action she is considering and she is overwhelmed with the “how’s” and hasn’t fully examined the “what if’s”. Remember, it’s never too late to go for your dreams. My Why Going for Your Dreams Matters Most...No Matter What podcast addresses how to move past fear and doubt to hear your inner voice. Coaches take note - I wanted to get Cecilia out of her head and more into her feelings. I knew talking through her issue wasn’t going to get her anywhere. So, I set up 2 situations, I painted a picture and laid out what the outcomes would be if she chose option A, and I did the same for option B. Then I allowed her intuition to choose the outcome. I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities. And, consider my Secret Sauce event for people who want to uncover their unique secret sauce and up-level their business, start a new business or make a career transition. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a decision you are having a hard time making? Are you living in limbo land as you analyze the decision you have to make? Are you waiting for permission to do something you know in your heart you want to do? Do you collect evidence that supports your dreams or supports your fears? Cecilia’s Question: Cecilia would like to know if her longing to be somewhere else, is the universe calling her to go there or if she has glamorized a moment in time. Cecilia’s Key Insights and Aha’s: She feels relieved when someone gives her permission She knows she runs away from things She’s living in limbo land She’s not resisting the push towards making a clear choice She doesn’t have a lot to lose How to get over it and on with it: She should answer her what if’s She should get aligned and behind one decision She should project 20 years in the future to see if she regrets her inaction Understand the universe will support her and the decision she makes Tools and Takeaways: Get 2 sheets of paper and write one choice on one of the sheets and one choice on the other sheet. Then step forward using your intuition onto both sheets of paper at different times to see how your body reacts. This provides incredible feedback. Give yourself permission to choose and permission to take a leap. Listen to my Coaches Corner on How to Get Over Feeling Lonely. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Assist@ChristineHassler.com Secret Sauce Mastermind
In this episode Christine explains why people pleasing is unhealthy and waste of your precious time and energy. Learn how to stop the selfish, yes selfish!, pattern of people pleasing and be self honoring instead!!
People pleasing will not get you the kind of love you long for. Why? Well, when you are putting other people’s needs before your own, you are not being honest. You are not showing up authentically. People pleasing can range in severity from caring about what people think to being a doormat. In my view, no degree of people pleasing is a good thing and being a complete doormat is dangerous. Think of a doormat after being used over and over. This is what happens to your spirit and your spark if you allow people to walk all over you. Your light starts to dim. You start to fade and you start to wear down. The Importance of Connection When Going Through a Loss We are not meant to grieve alone. One of the most healthy aspects of grieving is having support. You may find it hard to ask for help but you are giving another person a gift when you are vulnerable with them. Do not suffer in silence and solitude. The things that help the most are often the hardest to do. During difficult times, we need to do the hard things to get to the healing place we long for. Today’s caller Shaun called in for some guidance while going through his divorce. He may be putting himself last and has a habit of people pleasing which is making his divorce harder. Don’t lose sight of yourself during a loss. I encourage you to be honest with yourself about your people pleasing patterns. Coaches take note - I try to stay as clear and neutral as I possibly can, but during some calls, like this one, I slip from empathy to sympathy. I found myself being protective of Shaun and judgmental of the situation. I then moved back to neutrality which allowed me to guide Shaun appropriately. I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you going through a loss right now and feel disconnected? ● Do you relate to being a people pleaser or a doormat? ● Are you concerned about what people think of you and often put others’ needs and opinions in front of your own? ● Is there someone in your life you need to draw some boundaries with? ● Do you have a solid support system of people or just one person you can turn to who will listen when you are going through something challenging? Shaun’s Question: Shaun would like to know how to get un-stuck after being blindsided by a breakup from a 15-year marriage. He wants advice on how to move past the situation. Shaun’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● He has a pattern of taking care of others at his own expense. ● He may be losing his identity. ● He doesn’t have a social circle for support. ● He should reach out to new people and ask for help. How to get over it and on with it: ● He should step into his power and his strength and put himself first. ● He should meet new people and join new groups. ● He has the opportunity to gain healthy friendships. Tools and Takeaways: ● Be honest and look at the ways your people pleasing could be depleting you, blocking intimacy and potentially building resentment. ● Listen to this week’s Coaches Corner for additional tips. ● Reach out to people, ask for support or just ask them to listen. ● Write down one thing which will help you the most but may be hard for you to do. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
In this episode of Coaches Corner, psychotherapist and transformation coach Terri Cole teaches us: why suppressing emotions is bad for us, what “transference” is, and how to express our true emotions (even anger) to people in our personal and professional lives. Check out Terri's original podcast, Hello Freedom here: https://terricole.com/podcast/ And take her LOVE survey here: Http://bit.ly/1YiQHHH
Do you exhibit a type of behavior or personality trait you don’t necessarily love about yourself? It could be moodiness or it could be being extremely judgemental or it could be an emotional state you have a tendency to default to like sadness, worry, anger or fear. Women often have a difficult time dealing with anger because we have not been encouraged to express it. We may default to sadness which limits us from reaching our passion and our fire. We suppress our emotions and any big emotion we suppress will eventually leak. Anger becomes irritability, sadness becomes depression and shame comes out as insecurity. Suppressed emotions can also lead to physical ailments. It is not healthy to suppress our emotions. Today’s caller Monica acknowledges her own moodiness and is wondering if it is something she can change or if it’s a fixed personality trait. She suppresses her anger and doesn’t speak her truth. If there is something about you that does not feel good to you, like moodiness, you can change it. You just need to uncover why it’s there in the first place. Moodiness can be a messenger that you may be suppressing pent up anger and frustration. It is liberating to express your anger and be free of the moodiness. I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there something about you that you would like to change? Is it an inherent part of your personality or do you believe you can change it? Are you willing to do the work to change it? ● Do you experience times when you are irritable or snap at someone? How do you express your anger? ● Do you feel self-expressed? Do you fully feel your feelings? Monica’s Question: Monica recognizes she is a moody person and would like to know if she is able to shift out of it or if it is part of her personality. Monica’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● Her moodiness stems from suppressing her anger ● When she speaks her truth she feels shut down ● She has trouble expressing herself ● She doesn’t like conflict ● She becomes the victim, as a coping strategy How to get over it and on with it: ● Realize her irritability and bluntness are actually inner anger leaking out ● She should do the Temper Tantrum technique and 32 days of the Release Writing technique, which are in her copy of Expectation Hangover ● She should step away from the conversation and get her anger out, on her own Tools and Takeaways: ● Identify the ways you may be leaking. Know where you are suppressing and how you may be expressing it in other ways. ● If you sense you may have anger you have yet to acknowledge, start Release Writing. ● Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover, in particular, the Adult Temper Tantrum and Release Writing techniques. ● Speak your truth and process your raw feelings to eliminate suppression. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Dream University’s CEO, Marcia Wieder is a long established thought leader on visionary thinking and as Founder of The Meaning Institute, she teaches people to create and live fulfilling lives. Listen in as she coaches you through the “CBA’s” of going after your dreams and making them happen!
We all, especially women, have struggled with body image, at least one time in our lives. The media and society at large do not make having a healthy body image easy. I want to highlight the fact that if we took all the mental energy people spend on thinking about, obsessing over and criticizing their bodies, and shifted it into thinking about how we could serve the world, change the world and solve big problems, imagine how different the world would be. If you are expending a lot of your own mental energy focusing on how you look rather than on how you feel and what you want to contribute, consider re-directing it. In my 20’s I was never diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia but I definitely would say I had body image issues. I possibly had body dysmorphia, which is when your obsession with how you look and what you eat gets in the way of your happiness and your ability to connect. I don’t think I saw myself accurately. I was working as a personal trainer and nutritionist, so I was super obsessed about what I ate and I possibly had exercise bulimia too. If I ate “bad”, I would be driven to tears with guilt. This went on for a few years until some major things shifted. It finally subsided when I committed to the type of personal and spiritual growth work I teach on this show. I focused more on working out and body image than I did on really diving in and doing the work. I also dealt with feeling out of control in my life. I had left my job and I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. I had a huge expectation hangover in terms of where I thought I “should be”. I had so much uncertainty. That is when I started a meditation practice and that really helps me to feel more settled and more present. The out of control feeling comes from when our mind is just going and going and we are future tripping all the time. That led me to create a much stronger spiritual practice and relationship with God. I was so self-obsessed I felt very, very separate. I didn’t have a strong spiritual connection to begin with but the more I leaned into it, the more I talked to God and read spiritual books, the more the connection deepened. I got a purpose which was bigger than me. I got clear on what I was truly hungry for. I was hungry to serve. I was hungry to learn. I was hungry for spiritual connection. When I started to feed myself with what I was truly hungry for, the obsession with food, diet, exercise and body began to melt away. Any disorder, addiction or illness is there to get our attention. It is an indicator that there are unresolved issues we are working hard to suppress. It’s a red flag that we are craving something and we are trying to feed ourselves through whatever the addiction and disorders are. These disorders reinforce the pain of separation. When we do things that are dangerous, even hurtful to our well-being, it’s a cry out for God, for remembrance, for the awareness that we are so loved, whole and complete exactly as we are. Today’s caller, Anne, has been in and out of therapy for her eating disorder so I took a different approach with her. We worked on healing her bulimia with love. I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. I E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you so obsessed with your body that it affects your emotional stability, everyday decisions or relationships? ● Have you gone through treatment for a disorder but just can’t seem to be free of it? ● Are you aware of what you need to do to heal but cannot seem to integrate it? Anne’s Question: Anne has been struggling with bulimia for over 12 years. She has informed herself about how to get better but can’t seem to take the necessary steps to free herself from its grip. Anne’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● Her bulimia is a coping mechanism ● She felt insecure while growing up ● She is trying to get to self-acceptance by not accepting the bulimia ● She doesn’t know how to get by without her bulimia ● She doesn’t feel lovable How to get over it and on with it: ● Realize her bulimia has had a higher purpose in helping her to get love ● She may try to fully accept it and heal it with love ● Tell her bulimia it has a new job description ● She needs something to take the place of her disorder Tools and Takeaways: ● If you realize you have an eating disorder or body image issue, please reach out for support. ● Don’t judge your issue, be honest towards it and heal it with love. ● Write a letter of gratitude and appreciation towards what you would like to release. ● Set up two chairs and talk to your disorder, asking it what it needs and how it serves you. ● Don’t go into hopeless/helpless state, believing this disorder is yours to carry for the rest of your life. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Sometimes the experience of loneliness can feel so painful that connection seems almost impossible. If that feels true for you, here is a four-step process you can use to support yourself in relieving feeling lonely.
There is a difference between being alone and feeling the pain of loneliness. We do not have to suffer from the pain of loneliness if we are enjoying a connected relationship with our self and a higher power. We are never really alone, and the illusion of the separation of God, higher power source or universe, is one of the core misunderstandings we are all here to overcome. If we tell ourselves things like “I’m alone, I hate being by myself, something must be wrong with me, I really need to be with other people”, then, of course we feel the pain of loneliness. It’s very human to want to be connected and to make sure we are getting our soul food by spending time with people we love. Feeling isolated or disconnected is incredibly hard. But sometimes it is the pain of loneliness that inspires us to do the work to nurture a better relationship with our self, or to create or deepen a spiritual connection. This is exactly what is on the soul agenda for today’s caller, Christina. Her question initially is about the assumptions she’s making that are sabotaging her relationship, but her core issue is fear of being alone. She has a track record of being in toxic relationships or relationships she truly doesn’t want to be in just because it was better than being on her own. Remember you are never truly alone. You are always connected to infinite and unconditional love from God. I invite all of you to join me September 16-22 for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is your fear of being alone so considerable that you jump from relationship to relationship? ● Do you hesitate to do things alone? ● Are you terrified you will end up old and alone? ● Do you only feel safe when you are with another person? ● Are you longing for a deeper connection to yourself and a higher power so you do not have to experience the pain of loneliness or separation? Christina’s Question: Christina feels she is sabotaging her relationship by assuming this partner will do the same things as her previous partner. Christina’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She panics when she thinks of being alone ● She is trying to learn how to be in a relationship with herself ● She grew up with a fear of losing the people she loved ● She settles in relationships to keep herself from being alone How to get over it and on with it: ● Redefine what being alone is ● Create a feeling of safety without having someone else there ● Have honest communication with her partner about taking a break ● Bring a spiritual practice into her life ● Apply her own calming tactics into her own life Tools and Takeaways: ● Understand your default pattern when you feel lonely. What can you tell yourself instead of going into your default pattern? ● Think of someone you speak highly of and then talk about yourself the same way. You deserve to be the recipient of loving, self-talk. ● Cultivate a spiritual practice. ● Make connections with soul friends and your soul family. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Wouldn’t you love to bring in more of what you want in your life without working so hard at it? If the answer is yes, then I think you will really love the practice I have for you today that is one of the biggest secrets to my success. In this episode of coaches corner I share a practice that has led to the manifestation of few of the things that have been integral to the growth of my business.
Our dreams come from our inner wisdom and our wants come from our ego. We all have things that happen in our lives, which create fear, uncertainty, doubt and self-limiting beliefs. Often, we try to ease the pain of those things by chasing after something. For example, if you are really hard on yourself, then you may spend a lot of time wanting someone else to love you. You have a high want for a romantic relationship or you have a parent who was really hard on you or only validated you for your accomplishments, and you may have grown up with the feeling of unworthiness and high want for money and success. Ego-based wants come from feeling ‘less than’, and then searching for something or someone to fill the void. These kinds of wants are not coming from an authentic place, because at the authentic self-level we know that absolutely nothing is missing. The want is coming from our ego. When we obtain our ego-based wants, they only give us a temporary sense of satisfaction. They do not cure the deep longing we feel for worthiness, belonging and love. How do we know something we are longing for is not an ego-based desire but a true dream we must pursue? It comes down to the feeling of longing, which we feel in our heart, not in our head. Our dreams are a psychic prediction of what is coming; we feel a deep longing to experience something because we know that on some level, it is our destiny. We can’t always control the form and timing of it and that is where suffering can come in. It is imperative we pursue our dreams on the level of essence, not form; and we focus on the feelings we long to feel rather than try to make it happen or get attached to how we think it should happen. An example of this is, perhaps you feel a longing to make an impact on the world. You feel a deep desire in your heart, which is almost painful when you feel you are not doing it right now. Instead of trying to figure out what business to start to make a difference, focus instead on the feelings you want to feel and then begin to take aligned actions in that direction. Set the intention every day to be of service and ask to be used as an instrument of impact. Look for the simple ways to make an impact right now. When it comes to dreams, waiting is not a good idea. Take action now to move you in the direction of how you want to feel and what you want to experience. The biggest roadblock to going after dreams is fear. Nothing silences the voice of your inner wisdom more than doubt and fear. Honor your dreams and stop being so scared. Today’s caller, Anya is scared and feels guilty about wanting to go after her dream because it was not her original plan. I invite all of you to join me in September 16-22 for my retreat in Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you know what your dreams are? Are you terrified to go after them? ● Do you feel stuck because you do not know how to turn your dreams and longings into actual steps? ● Are you concerned that if you don’t go after your dreams soon you will spend the rest of your life regretting it? Anya’s Question: Anya has been feeling lost because she is passionate about acting but she is afraid to follow her dream. Anya’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She feels the pressure of the expectations others have of her ● She is embarrassed that her dream is different than her education ● She needs to take the first step How to get over it and on with it: ● She can give herself permission to stand for her dreams ● She should communicate her dream to others ● She needs to take the first step ● She should write a list of all the reasons acting is important to her Tools and Takeaways: ● Give yourself permission to pursue your dreams ● Write down a list of reasons why your dreams have value and are safe to explore ● Change or update your story to include what matters most to you ● Get fully behind your dreams with intention Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover 20 Something Manifesto @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram
This Coach’s Corner features inspirational catalyst John O’Leary. As a nine-year-old boy, John was burned on 100% of his body and expected to die. Today, he travels the world teaching others how to truly live. John empowers 50,000 people each year to LIVE INSPIRED at live events. He released his first book earlier this month and it is a bestseller on Amazon. After hearing him today in our coaches corner, you’ll definitely want a copy so remember the title: ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. John is a business owner, writer, husband and father of four. Expected to die. Now, teaching others how to truly live. John O’Leary, welcome to Over it and On with It!.
Have you ever had something come back around like a romantic relationship, friendship, job or career path that you thought was over? Or perhaps you’ve gotten a second chance with a different situation or cast of characters. Like a new relationship after a divorce or a job after being laid off. Or even your health after getting to the other side of an illness. Second chances do happen for all of us and when they do, it is important that we apply the lessons we learned the first time around. Many of us are great about doing this because we are intentional about not wanting to repeat the same kind of what we’d call mistakes again. We approach second chances with gratitude and excitement. But second chances can also produce fear. What is fascinating (and rather sad) about us humans sometimes is that the closer what we truly wants gets, the more we attempt to push it away. Obviously this is not a conscious thing we do, the saboteur is very sneaky…yet powerful. And the reason we sabotage is because we have not fully healed the core issues and misunderstandings around love and worthiness. You’ll listen to an example of this with today’s caller Jenny who has gotten a second chance in regards to a romantic relationship. She would love to just feel grateful and excited, yet what she is experiencing is a roller coaster of emotions. The time is now for her to accept that she is truly worthy of love. She can open her heart, expose her vulnerability and bloom into her feminine aspect or she can go to her protected, solitary place. Being honest and vulnerable in her relationships will allow her to let someone special in without feeling fear. Coaching Tip from this call: Focus should be on learning and not on the outcome. Dropping our ego and adopting a learning oriented approach to life serves both client and coach, equally. I invite all of you to join me in September for an my retreat in magical Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Have you recently gotten a second chance at something and if so, how are you approaching it? ● Is there someone or something you would like a second chance with? ● Do you truly know you are deserving of love and/or success? ● Do you get anxious about a relationship, and experience a roller coaster of emotions? ● Ladies, do you live in your in your masculine energy a lot? Gentlemen, do you have trouble connecting to a woman who experiences a roller coaster of emotions? Jenny’s Question: Jenny wants to know why she reacted like she did when a nice guy wanted to be her boyfriend and what tools she can use to stay in the present and to drop the anxiety. Jenny’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She doesn’t feel worthy of love ● She is being vulnerable and it feels uncomfortable ● She may feel like a fraud when accepting love ● She can feel safe receiving love How to get over it and on with it: ● Focus on the shared visions and values ● Recognize self-worth ● Talk to anxiety in a feminine, loving way ● Shift awareness and let love in Tools and Takeaways: ● Stay in the present and be grateful for all you have ● Think of the ways you can be more vulnerable ● Practice saying “Thank You” ● Check out Men Exposed, Alison Armstrong and David Deita Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorites, Alpha Brain and MCT Oil) Resources: Christine Hassler Men Exposed Allison Armstrong The Queen’s Code David Dieta @christinhassler on twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Are you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love, kindness and generosity. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic. In today’s coaches corner I discuss the danger of killing yourself with inauthentic kindness!
Why does our list of requirements for a lover, looks a lot like a job application? There are considerations for height, weight, and experience. Did we meet the person based on a reference from someone else? Do they fit into our mold of the “right one”?
When we focus or obsess more on how the relationship is progressing than the quality of the experience, we miss out on why we are supposed to be in the relationship in the first place. What we are questioning is not actually a real dispute. We are creating doubts in order to use them as distractions so we do not have to address the real issue, which may be something from our past we need to let go of.
Today’s caller, Jennifer, wants to find a reason she should not be dating her younger boyfriend. She says he is supportive and loyal, which are both things she believes she wants from a relationship, but she can’t seem to make herself trust that his feelings are real. As we drill down to the actual issue, Jennifer realizes she may be the one who is holding the relationship back and that it has nothing to do with age.
A special note to the coaches who are listening - if I had formed an opinion about the age gap in Jennifer’s relationship, we may have never gotten to the root issue, which is a core wound that needs healing. Coaches should be present and without judgment when working with clients.
I invite all of you to join me in September for my retreat in Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22 and if you can’t make it to Bali, you can get information for my upcoming “LA weekend” retreat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Jennifer’s Question:
Jennifer is in a relationship with someone 10 years younger than she is, and she wants to make sure she is not taking advantage of his youth.
Jennifer’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
How to get over it and on with it:
Tools and Takeaways:
Sponsor:
Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite, Alpha Brain)
Resources:
@christinhassler on twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com for retreat information
Where’s the line between preparation and obsession? Picture a time, maybe it is even now, when you have been preparing for something BIG like an interview, event, presentation, or the release of some creative endeavor. Now consider how much mental, physical, and emotional energy you put into it. Was it a lot -perhaps too much? Did you find yourself stressing out about it?
You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault. You did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. These are powerful statements. What if you were told these things when you were young? Would you still be searching for your soulmate to complete you?
When we are born we are complete. We have a sense of unconditional love and acceptance. As we go through our human existence, we are influenced by others around us and we tend to believe what they tell us as truths. Since those people have been apart from source love for a longer time, they say things which may not be encouraging for us. We then experience the illusion of separation. We feel a longing for the love and acceptance of others to fill the void and heal our core wound.
If you have ever chased love, been deeply hurt by a breakup or felt addicted to another person, you are unconsciously longing to find your way back to source love. The hurt may be hard for your ego to accept but your soul needs internal love, not love from another person. It is time to reprogram yourself. It is time to move away from being a victim and time to release your anger instead of recycling it.
Today, Deborah thinks her issue is about her indecisive new love but we find out it is not really about him but about her and her story, which is ripe for being revised.
If anything in this episode resonates with you, get my book Expectation Hangover and come to one of my signature retreats. Together we will help you to release the feelings which no longer serve you.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Deborah’s Question:
Deborah is having a difficult time understanding why her recent great “love” keeps distancing himself from her and why her heart feels lost.
Deborah’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
How to get over it and on with it:
Tools and Takeaways:
Sponsor:
Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.
Resources:
@christinhassler on twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
christine@christinehassler.com
Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody
When it comes to making a choice, is better to listen to our head or our heart? I explore this question in today’s episode of Coach’s Corner
Being “busy” seems to be a way we identify ourselves. We run ourselves ragged trying to meet the expectations of our bosses, our colleagues, and our families. We begin to put our needs aside in favor of what others want. To compensate for not practicing self-love, we wear our busyness as a badge of honor, which only seems to distract us from the lack of balance in our lives. We run the risk of having our children believe that stress equals success.
The distracting device which is busyness cannot go on forever. We start to tear apart at the seams. Our inner self is crying out for attention and it becomes rebellious in order to get what it needs. While it looks for compensation, we are moving on to the next thing. Feeding this longing will serve us better than if we try to push right through.
Fulfillment will not find us until we stop, refuel and rebalance as part of a daily practice. Until we stop doing and start being.
Today’s caller, Gulsen, is a very logical and analytical person. She feels motivated only when she is accountable to others. When she gets home she’s finding it difficult to DO anything. Most intelligent people have a problem with just being so. I guide her through establishing behaviors that will get her where she wants to go.
Get started on your 40-day commitment to yourself by putting one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Take deep breaths and bring all of your awareness to your breaths. Imagine you have a volume control in your head and that the volume control represents all of the chatter that is going through your head. Then while breathing, turn the volume down. Listen to this podcast to hear my entire guided meditation.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Gulsen’s Question:
Gulsen wants to know why being at home drains her typically motivated and inspired nature.
Gulsen’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
How to get over it and on with it:
Tools and Takeaways:
Sponsor:
Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.
Resources:
@christinhassler on twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
The feeling of being in love is the best. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. And then it ends. And you are not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong. I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief. This Coaches Corner will help!
If you have pattern of being in relationships or going after unavailable people (either emotionally unavailable or still in relationship with others), then this episode is a must listen!! You’ll also lean about what I call “Journey Mate” relationships.
When we are first starting a relationship we often try to be the person we think we need to be, rather than our most authentic selves. We believe we need to be a certain way in order to keep the other person attracted to us. What we think is love for the other person is actually a projection of the qualities within ourselves we would like to develop.
When the relationship ends before we think it should, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time, the relationship served us in some way. The other person was a journey mate. Journey mate relationships are a projection of what we need to see in ourselves. If the relationship doesn’t end and we continue sourcing our love from the other person we end up codependent. If this happens we may never fully express ourselves or stand in our power.
I define authenticity as the freedom to be fully expressed. If we are not authentic in our relationships we cannot expect to find the most aligned person for us. More than likely we end up attracting unavailable people who are not ready for commitment.
Steph believes perfection is required of her in her relationships. And since perfection doesn’t exist she experiences Expectation Hangovers, especially in relationships where she feels unable to be her authentic self. Aspiring for perfection has blocked her ability to be emotionally vulnerable.
If you have a pattern of attracting unavailable people or have just lost someone you thought was the one, listen to this call and Saturday’s Coaches Corner.
My book Expectation Hangover is now released in paperback and has a new subtitle - Free yourself from your past, change your present and get what you really want. If you don’t have a copy of it yet order it on amazon, audible or enjoy the company of others in a bookstore.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Steph’s Question:
Steph finds herself attracted to emotionally unavailable people and it’s hard for her to show her vulnerable side in relationships. She wants to know how to shift to become emotionally available.
Steph’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
How to get over it and on with it:
Tools and Takeaways:
Sponsor:
Onnit Wellness - Alpha Brain
Resources:
@christinhassler on twitter
@christinehassler on instagram