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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: February, 2016
Feb 27, 2016

The feeling of being in love is the best. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are.

And then it ends.

And you are not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong. I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief. This Coaches Corner will help!

Feb 24, 2016

If you have pattern of being in relationships or going after unavailable people (either emotionally unavailable or still in relationship with others), then this episode is a must listen!! You’ll also lean about what I call “Journey Mate” relationships. 

When we are first starting a relationship we often try to be the person we think we need to be, rather than our most authentic selves. We believe we need to be a certain way in order to keep the other person attracted to us. What we think is love for the other person is actually a projection of the qualities within ourselves we would like to develop.

When the relationship ends before we think it should, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time, the relationship served us in some way. The other person was a journey mate. Journey mate relationships are a projection of what we need to see in ourselves. If the relationship doesn’t end and we continue sourcing our love from the other person we end up codependent. If this happens we may never fully express ourselves or stand in our power.

I define authenticity as the freedom to be fully expressed. If we are not authentic in our relationships we cannot expect to find the most aligned person for us. More than likely we end up attracting unavailable people who are not ready for commitment.

Steph believes perfection is required of her in her relationships. And since perfection doesn’t exist she experiences Expectation Hangovers, especially in relationships where she feels unable to be her authentic self. Aspiring for perfection has blocked her ability to be emotionally vulnerable. 

If you have a pattern of attracting unavailable people or have just lost someone you thought was the one, listen to this call and Saturday’s Coaches Corner. 

My book Expectation Hangover is now released in paperback and has a new subtitle - Free yourself from your past, change your present and get what you really want. If you don’t have a copy of it yet order it on amazon, audible or enjoy the company of others in a bookstore.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel you are living an authentically, self-expressed life?
  • Do you have a pattern of attracting unavailable people?
  • Are you in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person? Are you an emotionally unavailable person?
  • Do you think you have to be perfect (or a certain way) to get the love you want?

 

Steph’s Question:

Steph finds herself attracted to emotionally unavailable people and it’s hard for her to show her vulnerable side in relationships. She wants to know how to shift to become emotionally available.

 

Steph’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She has a hard time showing her vulnerable side
  • She doesn’t trust love and can’t get it until she fixes herself
  • She sourced loved through someone else
  • She doesn’t feel good enough
  • She is capable of being her authentic self

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should come back to what love really is
  • She could accept herself fully and completely
  • Her awareness is the first step of change
  • Write out what perfect and authentic means to her
  • Take a hiatus from dating for a while

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Write down all the things you learned from your journey mate relationship and then turn that on yourself
  • Define authenticity and understand how your most authentic self feels, behaves, communicates and loves
  • Understand where you have walls up around your heart and how you can let people in more

 

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Alpha Brain

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on instagram

christine@christinehassler.com

Feb 20, 2016

I answer this question in this week’s Coaches Corner.  This is an incredibly important episode to listen to so you can figure step into the Truth of Who You REALLY are.

Feb 17, 2016

Criticism seems to have the stickiness factor of super glue and compliments seem to be coated in oil. We allow hurtful things to play over and over in our heads like a broken record, especially when the recording came from a parent or an authority figure. 

We create patterns out of the programming we receive when we are very young. These patterns stay with us throughout our lives until we reprogram ourselves. We can default to these patterns when dealing with situations and we tend to sabotage ourselves with fear instead of motivating ourselves with affirmations. We treat ourselves as others have treated us, instead of how we want to be treated.

If you have a vision to impact other people’s lives, make sure you have saved yourself and let down your own walls first. In order to be transparent, authentic and true, you should become your own best client. How you do anything is how you do everything. 

Today’s conversation with Rich is a lesson in how not to be a victim. Rich has wanted to create a deep emotional impact in people’s lives for some time. He started his own coaching practice over a year ago, and is finding it difficult to deal with the pressure, from his family, to provide for his soon-to-be bride.

For a refresher on this topic, listen to my How to Drop Your Story Coaches Corner. I release my new Coaches Corner episodes every Saturday.  

Online business owners: if you are looking to execute at your highest level, I am a believer and affiliate of Marie Forleo’s B-School. B-School is an 8-week video course, which teaches smart, effective online marketing strategies. If you sign up for the program through my personal link, CH B-School, in addition to the B-School program, I will assist you in the ability to remove your inner blocks with:

  • Four 90-minute live group coaching calls for business and personal aspects
  • Access to a private Facebook group
  • Four custom meditations and visualizations
  • Access to my online programs and courses

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you suffering because you cannot identify your purpose? Is there a person in your life who is struggling to find their purpose? Do you push them to find their purpose or try to find it for them?
  • Do you feel worthy and deserving inside? Does your self-confidence or lack thereof, impact your results?
  • Is someone else’s voice inside your head? Do you need to banish it?

 

Rich’s Question:

Rich would like to know how to get over his fear and anxiety to follow through with his goal of becoming a coach. He wants to overcome his limiting beliefs from his past, which may be blocking his future success. 

 

Rich’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • He doesn’t feel worthy or deserving
  • He has fear-based influences
  • His anger and sadness have never been fully released
  • His biggest blocks are his beliefs and unresolved hurts

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Rich should forgive himself and his stepfather
  • He needs to find his fire and his passion
  • He should work past his fear of rejection
  • He can coach himself through this issue

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Write down your limiting beliefs and figure out who owns the voice
  • Move into compassion for anyone who programmed your thoughts
  • Write a letter to give an unwelcome belief back to the person who gave it to you
  • Be honest about the emotional walls you have put up and be committed to taking them down
  • Set two chairs up and carry out your own therapy session

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

christine@christinehassler.com

Feb 13, 2016

Breakup.  There is not much that feels worse than heartache from ending a romantic relationship.  Although it feels awful right now, trust that you will be okay.  In this Coaches Corner, I guide you through the five things you can do immediately to ease the pain of your breakup and get to your breakthrough a lot sooner.

Feb 10, 2016

Have you ever had a massive, gut-wrenching, devastating, traumatic breakup that ended a relationship before you wanted the relationship to end? Did you follow it up by an all-consuming expectation hangover? If you are a human being, chances are you have. 

Most people  have at least one issue-based relationship. They attract people who trigger unresolved issues from their past. They value being in a relationship more than they value the lessons of the relationship and repeat the pattern over and over again. They treat being single like a disease, which needs to be cured immediately.

Relationships are an opportunity for us to grow. To find out a little more about whom we really are. When we consider how we feel about what we do instead of just the doing, we have a clearer picture of the qualities we embody.

If a relationship ended before you wanted it to, consider it a rite of passage. Embrace your feelings about it and then put a time limit on your heartbreak. Your heart can hurt but it should be full of unconditional love for yourself. Start falling back in love, but with yourself. Be kind and use your creativity as a channel of expression and healing.

Today’s conversation is with Monika who dares to dream and love in a big way. She moved to a foreign country and a 3 month trip turned into a 2 year stay after falling in love. The relationship ended in betrayal. Feeling her trust is forever broken, she has decided to toughen her heart and use the breakup as an excuse not to move forward with her life.

Remember on Saturdays I release my new Coaches Corner episodes. This week will be on “5 Tips for Getting Over a Breakup”. And if you want to hear about my history on the subject of love, you can listen to my first Over and On with It podcast.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you given yourself the diagnosis of heartbroken and feel completely stuck?
  • Did you set a relationship goal that wasn’t realized and now you have an expectation hangover?
  • Do you value a relationship by how long it lasts? So if it ends, do you feel you failed in some way?
  • Is it easy to answer the question “Who are you?” with positive responses?
  • Can you honestly say you feel love for yourself?

 

Monika’s Question:

Monika went through an intense breakup in a foreign country. She feels her trust was crushed; she is now paralyzed by fear and is scared to take the next step forward in her life.

 

Monika’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She’s a people pleaser
  • She doesn’t value herself
  • She attaches her self-worth to achievement
  • Her self-criticism is a habit

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Trust herself and treat herself like the valuable woman she is
  • Re-direct her thoughts into her improvement
  • Improve her relationship with herself
  • Go deeper into her spiritual practice
  • Do things to make her feel alive and connected
  • She should paint an image of trust

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Focus on how you want to feel about a result rather than the outcome itself
  • Write a list of who you are and use it to fall in love with yourself
  • Start a 40-day practice or discipline to put down your defenses
  • Use your creativity as a channel of expression and healing

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

christine@christinehassler.com

Feb 6, 2016

In this Coaches Corner I ask you to consider this question: Do you TRULY value yourself?

Or…are you discounting yourself by undervaluing your gifts and settling for less than you deserve.  Undervaluing yourself can look like underpricing services, not asking for what you’re worth at work, or staying in relationships that are only kinda sorta what you desire.  This episode will encourage you to own your worth and stand in your value.

Feb 4, 2016

If you want to achieve lasting success you should be concentrating on the who, what and why of your business and let the how naturally unfold with time. Pursuing your business goals without a clear understanding of what makes you uniquely qualified to provide a service (your secret sauce) to a client doesn’t serve anyone. It only wastes time and energy until you have a clear vision.

So often new light workers and entrepreneurs have a list of how they are going to fix things,  step 1 is this and step 2 is that, but coaching is not about fixing people. People embody all the inner resources they need to heal themselves. Coaching is about listening to them from a place of compassion and love. Becoming your own best client and focusing on what you are giving to others is your purpose.  

Becoming an entrepreneur is not an easy task. Fear and uncertainty may be causing you to stall and create blocks when you really just need to start sharing your gift with the world. Your gift holds great value. It is your business to know your value and quit working for free.

Today’s caller, Robby wants to start his coaching business but his vision isn’t clear. He is putting off getting clients until certain things are in place. Fear and uncertainty are suppressing his own inner guidance and creating blocks. We work to uncover his secret sauce and his why.

A good follow up to this episode is my next Coaches Corner - Standing in your Value.

For all of you Mission Driven Entrepreneurs out there - I am an affiliate and a supporter of Marie Forleo’s B-School. B-School is an 8-week video course which teaches smart, effective online marketing strategies. If you sign up for the program through my personal link, CH B-School,  I will gift you

  • Four 90 minute live group coaching calls for business and personal aspects
  • Access to a private Facebook group
  • Four custom meditations and visualizations
  • Access to my online programs and courses

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What are you creating in your own life?
  • Are you clear about how you are uniquely qualified to do what you do?
  • What is the vision which pulls you toward what you are creating?
  • Does your ego hold you back every time you try to start?
  • Do you have a calling but are waiting for something to start?
  • Do you know which fears and beliefs may be holding you back?
  • Do you believe it’s your job to fix people, help people and care for people?

 

Robby ’s Question:

Robby is starting a coaching business. He believes becoming a coach will require him to be more extroverted. He is experiencing fear and uncertainty of moving forward and has created stalling techniques for himself.

 

Robby ’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • He is creating stalling techniques
  • He hasn’t taken action
  • He wants to get it right, he wants to be perfect
  • He is a good listener
  • He desires personal growth

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • He should ask his intuition what is in the way
  • Bring the focus off of himself and make it about his clients
  • He should drop his high expectations and live his authenticity
  • Understand he is creating value for people
  • He needs to be his best client and keep working in himself

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Dive into your Secret Sauce by identifying the 3 qualities which describe you the most.
  • Get clear on your vision. What is your why?
  • Visualize yourself serving your clients
  • Be your own best client/customer

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler B-School  

Secret Sauce Mastermind

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

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