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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: January, 2016
Jan 30, 2016

My hunch is you are carrying around something that is very heavy and causes you unnecessary suffering.  This thing blocks you from the experiences and connections you desire. It weighs you down, holds you back and robs you of joy. What is this dreadful thing I am talking about? It is your story. And in this episode of Coaches Corner I give you tips on how to let it go!

Jan 27, 2016

If you were to write out your autobiography with the early chapters being on your past and the middle chapters representing the present, what would you change about your current story to get the ending (your future) to turn out just the way you want it to? Would you allow bitterness to leak into your later chapters or would you embrace forgiveness of yourself and those who may have hurt you?

It’s never too late to drop old belief systems and ‘un-program’ yourself. It’s never too late to change. Living as a victim means you do not want to take full responsibility for your life. Becoming the most authentic version of yourself will happen when you move through the process of forgiveness. It will set you free and allow you to live fully in the present.

Today’s caller, Miranda, needed her story to be heard free of judgment and from a place of compassion. She believed she needed to behave a certain way in order to receive love. Her compensatory strategy of being a caretaker, a rescuer, and a people pleaser was attracting toxic people into her life and not bringing her the love she desired.

People in your past can no longer be an excuse for why you don’t have what you want in your present.

If you enjoy this podcast please share on social media and leave a rating or review on iTunes.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What are you still holding on to from your past that is impacting your present and creating your future?
  • How does Miranda’s story mirror your own?
  • When it comes to getting romantic love, what do you have to do or need to be in order to get it?
  • Is there someone you need to forgive?

 

Miranda’s Question:

Miranda is having trouble letting go of the past and finding forgiveness. She feels she has alienated everyone important in her life with her bitterness. 

 

Miranda’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She should acknowledge her blessings
  • She is attracting toxic people because it’s the only type of love she knows
  • She has made massive judgments about her own choices
  • She tries to get love by being a victim
  • She doesn’t know how to forgive

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Update your own programming
  • She needs to forgive everyone in her life including herself
  • Find spiritual altitude
  • Start being nicer to herself
  • Work through the behavioral exercises in Expectation Hangover

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Identify your compensatory strategy and shift it
  • Understand the payoffs to the behaviors you don’t like
  • Who do you think you need to forgive?
  • Make a list of your gifts, of all the things you truly love about yourself and make that your new story
  • Know that your past does not need to dictate the present

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com

Jan 23, 2016

Do you ever feel anxious?  I suspect your answer is yes – you may even be experiencing it right now. You’re not alone. Here’s the good news: it is 100% possible to ease and actually eliminate anxiety or at the very least dramatically reduce it. I explain and give you lots of tips in this coaches corner.

Jan 20, 2016

The wonderful thing about pain and anxiety is that we have the power to free ourselves from it. Many of the overwhelming feelings we are having now are rooted somewhere in our past. Something devastating caused our young minds to create a program to follow, so we didn’t have to feel that way ever again.

As we grow, the ability to address our fears and overcome our ‘victim story’ becomes available to us. We are able to comfort our younger selves by self-parenting and through work that is healing. We also have the ability to acknowledge our need for protection, thank it for its service to us and move our energy to where we need it now. We can then replace our impulsive responses with our inner voice, which is guided by our intuition.

In between stimulus and response we have a choice and in that choice lies our freedom. – Viktor Frankl - Man’s search for meaning

Our caller, Nicole, is struggling to find her true intuition. She feels it may be lost to her or clouded over by her deep-seated anxiety. She has used her anxiety for many years to protect herself, but now realizes it is time to get over it and on with it so that she could enjoy a deeper life.

My next Retreat in July 2016 will fill up quickly, so if you want more information please contact Jill at jill@christinehassler.com

If you enjoy this podcast, please share on social media and leave a rating or review on iTunes.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you suffer from anxiety? Is there something you would like to be free of?
  • Whenever you try anything new, does it come with a lot of fear?
  • Do you prefer control over uncertainty?
  • Did something happen in your past that might still be impacting you, but you are not sure what to do about it?

 

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole has anxiety-driven panic attacks and lacks self-confidence. She longs to have a deeper life and become connected to the world.    

 

Nicole’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She uses her anxiety as a source of protection
  • She needs to feel she is in control of a situation
  • As a child, she felt vulnerable
  • Intuition will be clearer when anxiety subsides
  • She needs to respond rather than react
  • It’s OK for her to make mistakes

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should tell her younger self “things will be alright”
  • Say “I accept” & then “I am choosing to”
  • Interrupt the patterns of anxiety
  • Turn up the volume of her calm inner voice
  • Understand the difference between resignation and acceptance

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Think about the “big deals” or significant events in your life. What belief systems were formed then that might be impacting you today?
  • Tell yourself the things you needed to hear during your “big deals”
  • Understand that it was not your fault
  • How does your protective mechanism serve you? Give it a new job description

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com

jill@christinehassler.com to sign up for the Bali retreat

 

Jan 16, 2016

Do you find that you have taken on the expectation that you are supposed to be happy all the time? Sure, eternal happiness sounds awesome, yet this expectation that we “should” be able to be in a positive place all the time can be the very thing that eludes us from actually experiencing it.

How? Well, when we pressure or force ourselves to be a certain way, which involves avoiding the reality of our current feelings, we engage in what is called “spiritual bypass.” Spiritual bypass is a process of attempting to high-vibe yourself out of what you perceive as a negative feeling instead of allowing yourself to feel it and heal it.

Don’t get me wrong – joy, love and peace are our essence, but if you haven’t noticed we are all still human and have moments of where that is not exactly our experience. In this Coaches Corner I encourage you to accept the contrast of your human experience and offer tips for how to move through those not-so-happy moments.

Jan 13, 2016

Advertisements, movies and even fairy tales will tell you a product, money or a prince are all you need to live happily ever after. Sorry, that is not true. External things are not the key to a happy life.

Because happiness is an inside job, we are all capable of self-generating the feeling of happiness. If we move to acceptance , we will recognize that the source of our own happiness comes from within.

We ARE capable of living our lives contently. But first, we must examine what we are devoted to and look into the places in our lives where being grateful of what we already have can elevate us to acceptance. It is normal for humans to lead lives full of ebbs and flows.

Our caller, Jennifer, is putting pressure on herself to figure out her entire life even though she is only 24 years old. She has an expectation hangover about not being where she thinks she should be in her career. She is waiting for something external to bring her happiness and to spark her passion.

People with high expectations tend to not feel happy more often. Listen to this week’s Coaches Corner – Is it possible to be happy all the time? – for an in-depth look at the secret sauce to overcoming an expectation hangover.

My Bali Retreat, in September 2016, will fill up quickly so if you want more information please contact Jill at jill@christinehassler.com

If you enjoy this podcast please share it on social media and leave a rating or review on iTunes.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Which “if then” and “if when” equations have you set up to define your own happiness?
  • Do you think you should be further along in your life?
  • Do you think it’s too late to be happy?
  • Are you feeling depressed in your life and expecting something to come and save you?

Jennifer’s Question:

Jennifer feels stuck. She tries new things but gives up on them easily. She wants to know when the spark will come to keep her from feeling lost and unhappy.

Jennifer’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She pretends she can find happiness outside herself
  • Surrounding herself with people she loves brings her happiness
  • She wants things to come to her without working for them
  • She hasn’t taken action to keep herself from being disappointed
  • She is not supposed to figure out her entire life by 25

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Realize happiness is a moment, not a permanent state
  • Have low attachment and high involvement
  • She can create the feeling of happiness anytime she wants
  • Accept herself, quirks and all
  • Take a comedy or an improv class
  • Make two people at work smile every day

Tools and Takeaways:

  • What will it take for you to fully accept your life as it is right now?
  • Stop trying to do things. Either do something or don’t. There is no in between.
  • Do what you need to do to de-blah yourself and get your mojo back on.
  • Create happiness on the inside by starting with gratitude
  • Be a happiness ambassador
  • Physically connect with people

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com

jill@christinehassler.com to sign up for the Bali retreat

Jan 9, 2016

The New Year comes with the tradition of making resolutions, which are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” We vow to exercise more, get a better job, meditate regularly, fall in love, or find a different way to handle our stress. But does this really do us any good? Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and beat ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in the year that serves us better?

YES! And it has been my New Year ritual for the past ten years which I share in todays’ Coaching Corner.  NOTE: you can do this process ANYTIME during the year because it is always a good time to consciously let go of what is not serving you so then you can intentionally co-create your dreams and desires.

Jan 6, 2016

Our physical body ages naturally with time, but our emotional development is much more complex. Our minds have the ability to leave situations unfinished – anticipating that a resolution will appear eventually. When this happens, we get stuck by reliving our hurts and challenges over and over again until we are mentally ready to deal with these emotions. 

Becoming comfortable with our own vulnerability is how we heal this unfinished business. We can start by reassuring ourselves that it’s okay, it’s over, and it’s safe now. It’s okay to stop creating distractions that only serve to move us farther and farther away from the healing of our core wounds. Healing starts with self-love and it always comes back to our relationship with our self.

Today’s caller, Jenna, believes she is struggling with consistency issues.  She quickly realizes that she may be manifesting physical health problems; and living the life of an overachiever to gain the attention and love she didn’t receive as a teenager. 

Jenna is asking for help, which is a clear sign she is ready to get over it and on with it. A relationship that is free of judgement and filled with compassion, like the relationship with a coach, will help her to continue on her personal development journey and reinforce the relationship she needs to build with her younger self. 

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • When it comes to dealing with challenging issues, do you analyze the issues to try to figure them out rather than feeling and processing these things fully? How do you handle your emotions?
  • If you spoke with your friends in the same way you speak to yourself would you have any friends?
  • Do you get frustrated with your personal growth? When you make progress do you tend to backtrack, creating an endless loop? 

 

Jenna’s Question:

Jenna is struggling to get to the root of her consistency issues regarding her health and wellness and wants to know how to stay on track.

 

Jenna’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She didn’t feel safe or secure in her youth
  • Her health has become a distraction
  • She doesn’t have to manifest health issues to get love and attention
  • It’s easier to act outwardly than to reflect inwardly

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Jenna should encourage her younger self 
  • She should take care of her emotional body as well as her physical body
  • She should parent herself in the way she wanted to be parented
  • Look in the mirror with one hand on her heart and the other on her stomach and say something kind to herself
  • Have a vulnerability conversation with her counselor

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Listen to Episode 16, Why our parents trigger us (no matter what our age) , on Parenting
  • Identify the distractions and coping strategies you adopt to keep yourself from feeling emotions or pain
  • Develop a relationship with your younger self by writing a letter to reassure him or her that it is over
  • Start each day connecting with yourself in the mirror and saying encouraging things
  • Practice vulnerability with people in your life
  • Continue in your personal development and if you aren’t growing you may need to make some changes

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

Daring Greatly

@christinhassler

christine@christinehassler.com

 

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