This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today’s caller, Jade, has recently been brought back together with someone she loves but whom she left because he betrayed her. This session is the first of three conversations. In next week’s call, Christine speaks with Jade’s partner.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode407]
When we are betrayed and we are cheated on, of course, we feel anger and hurt, it was an awful thing to have happened, and we get to be mad and angry at the other person. But if we hold on to those things for too long then we’re the ones who continue to hurt ourselves.
For many people, infidelity or any kind of betrayal is a deal breaker and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes there are so many other things leading up to the betrayal or infidelity that, of course, do not excuse it, but also contribute to why there might be an opening for forgiveness and an opportunity to rebuild the relationship from a fresh start. When it comes to infidelity or betrayal, it’s not a black-and-white topic.
Forgiveness is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight and it is not something we can do just with our mind. We need to do it with our hearts and our somatic body. We need to move through those emotions of anger, sadness, hurt, and shame to get to a place of — “How do I really feel about this situation, and is my heart open to repair?”
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or have you been cheated on?
What do you define as betrayal?
Have you gotten clear inside your mind, inside your heart, and with your partner on what is a betrayal and what the agreements are in your relationship?
If you have let someone back into your life after betrayal, have you been able to trust again or have you always been looking over your shoulder?
Have you always lived with a sense of really not getting your needs met?
Jade’s Question:
Jade is having trouble navigating trust in a rekindled relationship that ended through betrayal and infidelity. She would like guidance on how to move past the betrayal to build a new relationship.
Jade’s Key Insights and Ahas:
After one year, her relationship ended with betrayal.
Both she and her partner are doing work to rekindle the relationship.
She is doing inner work to recognize when she is triggered.
She loves her partner and recognizes the humanness in the betrayal.
She fears self-betrayal by letting him back into her life.
She knows letting him back into her life will be challenging.
She doesn’t know if she can ever trust him again.
There was dishonesty in her past relationships.
She felt not enough in her childhood home and didn’t feel safe.
Her mother did not validate or reassure her.
She hasn’t felt safe in her relationships.
She is hyper-vigilant.
She is leaning into the discomfort of the situation.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Put prevention plans and agreements in place to start with a blank slate to create safety for herself in the relationship.
Know that whatever happens, she is going to be okay.
Find a place to process her feelings with someone else besides her partner.
Do not worry about other people’s guilt and shame.
Release her fear and regulate her nervous system.
Assignment:
Write about trust and what it means to her.
Write out the agreements that need to be made to move forward in the relationship.
Sponsor:
Sensate — is an infrasound resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Jenny Eversole is the founder of Stylespace.com a virtual styling platform to elevate your style with expert stylists. After nearly a decade running her own fashion label, she learned how personal style can make a big difference in one's confidence, happiness and overall success. Jenny founded Style Space for people to discover their best style and to look, feel, and BE their best.
This call is about setting boundaries and taking care of your own needs. Today’s caller, Caitlyn, has an expectation hangover about her engagement planning process. She is excited about her wedding, but her family and friends don’t seem to be. We cover a lot of ground and we go really deep in this episode.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode406]
Being a caretaker can be a survival skill. Survival needs can be the need to feel loved, valued, and like we belong. When one of our patterns is tied to those needs, it can be hard to release. Consciously, we may know it’s not healthy for us to be a caretaker and that we should set boundaries but unconsciously, there may be a part of us that wonders who will love us and how we will fit into your family if we stop caretaking others.
When our bodies are working hard to hold all of our suppressed emotions together it needs another outlet for release. Our third chakra, our energy center, is tied to personal empowerment. If we don’t have boundaries and allow other people to suck our energy, things will shift within the body to compensate. We can manifest a physical ailment when keeping emotional issues bottled up or by not feeling empowered.
Join in for the live group coaching call on June 22, 2003, at 5 pm PST / 8 pm EST on self-love. It’s only $20 and you will get live access or if you can’t make it live, it will be recorded and mailed to you so you can listen at any time. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to save your seat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Is there a current expectation hangover upsetting you and reminding you of something that happened in the past?
Do you relate to being a caretaker in your life? Are you afraid to stop taking care of others because you fear losing love or validation?
Is it challenging for you to set boundaries? Do you say yes to things when you really mean no?
Do you over-compromise and sacrifice your own needs because it is easier than upsetting people?
Is there a prolonged physical condition you are dealing with that cannot be resolved?
Caitlyn’s Question:
Caitlyn wants to know why she is having so many expectation hangovers while she is planning her wedding.
Caitlyn’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She wants more support from friends and family about her wedding.
She is trying to get out of the caretaker role in her family.
She has always been a planner.
She feels tired, disappointed, and hurt during the wedding planning process.
She stepped into the caretaker role in her family as a teenager.
She was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at thirteen.
She taught people how to treat her.
She is manifesting her physical condition.
She gives away her power by always taking care of others.
She puts herself last.
Emotions were not expressed in her family.
Her sister is also planning a wedding.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Put herself first and not worry about other people’s upset.
Allow herself to feel her emotions.
Connect and talk to her younger self.
Say thank you to her illness for sending her a message.
Start writing from her heart with release writing.
Have self-compassion and know it is okay to be seen.
Talk to her sister about the things that matter to her.
Forgive herself for buying into the understanding that being a caretaker is a way to get love.
Takeaways:
If you are dealing with any type of expectation hangover, go back in time and ask yourself, “What does this remind me of?”
Do the “empty chair” process at home.
Let things go through journaling and release writing.
Set and stand by your boundaries with people and let them be upset.
Sponsor:
Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any purifier.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about leaning into femininity and recognizing self-worth. Today’s caller, Lana, has childhood wounding that makes her wish she looked a different way. She would like guidance on how to be more feminine, have a healthier body image, and stop feeling jealous.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode405]
Many women have mothers who did not have a healthy body image. And, often as children, we take that on. But, there is so much more than how we look. If we focus on how we look and compare ourselves to other people, we miss out on the incredible gifts that we are here to enjoy in this lifetime.
We are constantly being programmed with what is “beautiful.” We all have different ways in which the feminine expresses through us. It is essential for us to change the way society frames beauty for the future, for women, and for little girls. It is changing, but we have a long way to go.
And, jealousy is a waste of energy. It is often a positive projection. When we look at someone who is “attractive,” what we are really seeing is their confidence or the way they feel comfortable in their body. The next time you feel jealous, think about how you would rather be using that valuable, precious energy. Because jealousy kills our self-worth, sense of spirit, femininity, and relationships. It is no one else’s job to make us feel secure in a relationship.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you deal with jealousy?
Do you think that if you looked differently that your life would be better?
Did you grow up with a mother or a parent who didn’t have a good body image and they passed that on to you?
Do you know what being in your feminine and femininity means?
Lana’s Question:
Lana would like tools to boost her body image and overcome jealous feelings in her relationship.
Lana’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She deals with extreme jealousy but trusts her boyfriend.
She has been in her current relationship for five years.
She has low self-confidence.
She doesn’t feel feminine.
She compares herself with other people.
She’s been hurt by relationships from her youth.
Her mother didn’t have a healthy body image.
She is focused on looking a certain way.
She is creative, loving, and has a big heart.
Her soul wants acceptance for who she is.
She puts a lot of energy into thinking she should look different.
She wants to enjoy her life.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Be compassionate with her feelings when she is triggered.
Begin studying what it means to be in her feminine power.
Instead of using her energy on jealousy and comparison, use it to enhance her creativity and joy.
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This episode is about embracing our gifts and making a living. Today’s caller, Janelle, has lost the motivation to make a living by expressing her gifts. She would like guidance on how to reignite her drive. Christine offers her practical tips about shifting her limiting beliefs about money, and separating her survival needs from what brings her joy.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode404]
Our gifts do not have to translate into a career. Our gifts are there for us to enjoy them. They don’t necessarily have to be the thing that makes us money. It is completely possible to have a job you like that isn’t your passion. We all have gifts and some of them translate into a lucrative career and sometimes they don’t. Give yourself permission to explore your gifts without the pressure of needing to make money at it. Many people feel like a failure if they can not make a sustainable income doing what they love but as long as they are expressing what they love there is no failure.
It’s important not to marry gifts and purpose with survival.
At some point in our lives, we are asked to look at what we have done to meet our survival needs and consider what we have to do to be more strategic. When we have a “Watch, I’ll show you” energy, it can push us but it doesn’t generate a lot of safety and abundance because we are constantly pulled back by our old beliefs.
A caterpillar works hard to become a butterfly. It’s a metamorphosis that needs to happen. It completely transforms and transmutes things. When we are in the chrysalis moments, we need to ask ourselves what needs to transform.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you doing something you love but not making the kind of money you love?
Do you think you can make money and have enough to live doing what you love?
Were your creativity, expression, and natural gifts encouraged as a child? Or, were you told you could never make a living at it?
Do you have a good relationship with money?
Janelle’s Question:
Janelle has lost her motivation to continue her dancing career and is looking for guidance on how to make a living following her passion.
Janelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She knows her spiritual purpose.
She is at a crossroads.
She no longer feels excited about her career or art form.
She is a professional dancer and actor.
She expected to be more financially secure by now.
The pandemic shifted her momentum.
She is adaptable and independent.
She was told being an artist would be a struggle.
She was driven to succeed to prove to others that she could.
She has completed the personal mastery course.
She feels called back to her passion and desire.
She has the tools but doesn’t know how to use them.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Shift her limiting beliefs about money.
Do the “temper tantrum” technique and give her little girl a voice.
Strategically consider her next steps and where she wants to go.
Takeaways:
Check out these Coaches Corner episodes with Jade Luna & Kate Northrup.
Consider where you are. Is it time to take some risks and share your gifts with the world?
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Jade also consults with people privately. He usually presents a few seminars each year at various locations world wide. He is the author of Asterian Astrology and has been one of the most successful Astrologers in the world and has maintained a high level practice for over 18 years.