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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: February, 2019
Feb 27, 2019

This episode is about knowing when a relationship has reached its expiration date. Today’s caller, Bretton, is looking for guidance about what his next steps are in a marriage that needs work. He has committed himself to do personal development work but his partner has not. Some relationships do have an end or an expiration date when it’s not for the highest good of everyone involved to stay in it. But, how do we know when it reaches that point?

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode181]

What if you are the one in the relationship who is doing all the work? It’s hard to work on a relationship that needs healing if two people aren’t willing to do the work. If people aren’t willing to do the work, they just loop through their old operating system. The same problems, arguments, and the same complacency issues come up over and over again.

But, if you are in a situation where the relationship is good; if you and the other person are connected and you are doing personal growth work but it’s not your partner’s thing, it’s ok. It doesn’t mean the relationship is over.

The more we try to figure something out in our heads we don’t take action. I encourage you to feel things out instead of figuring things out. Drop the issue from your mind into your heart and to feel into what is the most aligned choice for you. Feel out what will be the highest good for everyone concerned. Our hearts are full of infinite wisdom and it is where we access our intuition.

Do you want to make an impact in the world and live the lifestyle you crave? If so, I wholeheartedly support Marie Forleo’s B-School for Modern-Day Entrepreneurs. Marie is offering free training videos you will get so much out of. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Bschool to register and to get the bonus items. And join my live coaching call on February 27th, ChristineHassler.com/Live.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Are you in a relationship that may have an expiration date but you can’t seem to get clear?

● Are you playing out some of the things that happened in your childhood with your current romantic partner?

● Are you the one in the relationship who is doing a lot of work, going to therapy, etc. and your partner refuses? Do you try to get them to work on themselves but they won’t?

● If you are considering leaving your relationship, is it harder because you have a child?

 

Bretton’s Question:

Bretton would like guidance about the direction and longevity of his relationship.

 

Bretton’s Key Insights and Ahas:

● He has been married for 5 years.

● He has a 5-year-old child.

● He wants to do “the right thing.”

● He may be over-analyzing the relationship.

● He values his role as the provider.

● His wife refuses to go to counseling.

● He feels a lot is expected of him.

● He didn’t feel seen by his parents.

● He created a situation similar to his childhood.

● He doesn’t want to make mistakes.

● He wants to communicate with his wife.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● He needs to work with a strong therapist or coach.

● He should read the book Family Secrets.

● He should talk to a child psychologist.

● He needs to step into his masculine.

● He needs to clearly ask for what he needs.

 

Takeaways:

● If you are dealing with a big decision I want you to fast forward to five or ten years from now and consider what you want your life to look like. What choices do you need to make today to create that future?

● If you are in a relationship and wonder if it has an expiration date do your work and speak your truth and if the other person doesn’t respond to the alarm, then you might be.

● For parents, think about what you are teaching your children with your actions and choices, not just what you tell them.

● If you are working with a therapist or coach and you don’t feel you are making progress, consider you may need to be working with someone with who can move you out of your comfort zone.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist to be coached on this show

Feb 23, 2019
Get inspired as you listen to Amanda share how she has built an incredibly successful and impactful business…all by the age of 25! This episode will encourage you to break free of trying to look a certain way and step into full authentic expression!
 
Amanda Bucci is a lifestyle entrepreneur who’s main goal is to help others find their true selves and passions, and her podcastBucci Radiois a one-stop-shop for anyone looking to really find themselves. Her podcast is full of amazing guests who discuss anything from fitness, education, or personal anecdotes. Listen to her show and you’ll leave with a new sense of purpose and a fire lit inside you!

You can learn more about Amanda, her coaching and her online programs at https://www.amandabucci.com/

Feb 20, 2019

This episode is about getting a toxic person out of your life and taking action to set and enforce healthy boundaries. Today’s caller, Ashley, wasn’t loved the way she wanted to be loved as a child and her mother is still criticizing her. She wants guidance on how to coexist with her mother in a toxic relationship. Even if you don’t have someone toxic in your life, you will still get a ton of value out of this coaching session.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode180]

Many times we think we are keeping toxic people in our lives because we are weak but it’s not true. We keep them in our lives because we are hurt and we are hoping that someday they will love us. Whether it’s a parent who’s validation and love we want or even a boss who we allow to treat us poorly because we are hoping they will eventually see how really great we are at our job, we must realize we can’t change people and we can’t keep toxic people around, hoping they will change.

It's harder to have boundaries and distance with the primary people in our lives, especially a parent if we aren’t rooted in something more healthy like our higher power, our divine power. If you have an anchor inside yourself, it’s easier to create separation without feeling like we are having a major loss.

Remember, healing is not just inner work. It is outer work as well; especially when it comes to toxic people, we have to take action. As adults, we must do the things for ourselves that no one else did for us when we were kids.

 

Did you hear last week’s Coaches Corner with Marie Forleo? It is a great conversation about masculine and feminine dynamics at work. Check it out, Marie Forleo on Coaches Corner. I wholeheartedly support Marie Forleo’s B-School for Modern-Day Entrepreneurs. Marie is offering free training videos you will get so much out of. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Bschool to register and to get the bonus items. And join my live coaching call on February 27th, ChristineHassler.com/Live.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Is there a toxic person in your life or someone who just doesn’t treat you great but you keep them hanging around?

● Do you keep people who are not kind to you in your life out of obligation or because they are related?

● In your romantic life, do you go after emotionally unavailable people and obsess over why you can’t get them?

● Do you deeply trust yourself and your higher power?

 

Ashley’s Question:

Ashley questions her self-worth based on her relationship with her mother.

 

Ashley’s Key Insights and Ahas:

● She is a single mom who is not financially independent.

● She has a toxic relationship with her mother.

● She has low self-worth.

● She sabotages herself.

● She goes after emotionally unavailable men.

● Her mother criticizes her.

● She didn’t feel loved the way she wanted to be loved.

● She hopes one day her mother will love her the way she wants to be loved.

● She needs to find a caretaker solution for her child.

● She is working through the Personal Mastery Course.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She needs to make decisions and take action to protect herself.

● She needs to create some distance between her and her mother.

● She needs to check in with little Ashley more often.

● She needs to reach out to a therapist and read books about codependency.

● She needs to experience being a child again by playing with her child.

 

Takeaways:

● What boundaries do you need in your life?

● What people in your life have reached their expiration date? Is it time to take them out of your life?

● Do things to make your younger self trust you.

● Get a guide. Join the Personal Mastery Course or pray the right Healer/Guide/Teacher comes into your life.

● Connect with your younger self and be a stand for your worthiness. You deserve healthy people around you who love you and see you.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist to be coached on this show

Feb 16, 2019

Jen Sincero is a bestselling author, success coach, and motivational speaker who spent more than a decade traveling the world helping people transform their lives and their bank accounts via her public appearances, private sessions, coaching seminars, and books, including the New York Times bestseller You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Her newest book is YOU ARE A BADASS EVERY DAY: How to Keep Your Motivation Strong, Your Vibe High, and Your Quest for Transformation Unstoppable, the companion designed to keep badasses on track.

Feb 13, 2019

This episode is about how to stop parenting your parents. If you are a parent it is a great listen to make sure you are not falling into codependent patterns with your child. Today’s caller, Gina, is a people pleaser who is at the beginning of her journey of connecting all the dots. She is searching for guidance on how to become her own person, free of the guilt she imparts on herself about what she should or should not be doing for her mother. We discuss how she can free herself and how it has been impacting her relationships.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode179]

Growing up in a codependent household is when you are the caretaker and you are not getting the love and attention you need from a parent. When you step into a parent role and you are the child, it’s very common to develop the compensatory strategy of a people pleaser. Why? Because you decided at a young age it was your job to keep your parent happy or to keep them from yelling at you. You grew very strong at making sure someone else was okay before you.

The way out of people pleasing is learning about codependency, setting boundaries, and getting professional help. There is a lot that goes into being a people pleaser and sometimes you need someone by your side helping you by telling you, “You are not being selfish. You are being self-honoring.”

Any personal development work or therapy should be used to get an understanding, not an excuse. It is important to understand the impact of our parent’s influence so we can shift it, not so we can use our past as a scapegoat. We want to liberate ourselves from anything in our past that is limiting us from living the life we truly love. Everything is healable.

Your past does not have to determine your present or future. You don’t have to repeat patterns!

Do you love what you do? Are you expressing your calling and purpose or are you stuck in a job you hate? I wholeheartedly support Marie Forleo’s B-School for entrepreneurs. Marie is offering free training videos you will get so much out of. Go to Christinehassler.com/freetraining

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● How are you at acknowledging yourself? Are you a people pleaser and are able to acknowledge others but when it comes to yourself, you’re not so great?

● Do you have a parent or someone in your life you feel responsible for? Do you put your happiness on the backburner to theirs?

● Do you try to set boundaries with difficult people in your life but then feel guilty and get hooked back in?

● Are your co-dependent relationships with a parent or someone else preventing you from having a healthy, loving relationship of your own?

 

Gina’s Question:

Gina lived most of her life based on her mother’s needs. She would like tools to help her heal and guidance on how to move forward in her life.

 

Gina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

● Her mother is an alcoholic.

● She has had to take care of her mother her entire life.

● She struggles with depression.

● She has an eating disorder.

● She hasn’t been able to have healthy relationships.

● She is in therapy.

● She’s not sure how to express her needs.

● She is attracting a certain type of men.

● She is in a codependent relationship with her mother.

● She doesn’t know how to deal with her feelings.

● She doesn’t want to be in an unhealthy relationship.

● She would like to inspire other people.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She needs to acknowledge the progress she has made.

● She needs to put some distance between her and her mother.

● She shouldn’t feel guilty for putting herself first.

● She should be a mother to herself.

● She needs to reframe her life to make it into what she wants.

● She needs to write her mother a letter she doesn’t intend to send.

 

Takeaways:

● Write a letter to your parent you don’t intend to send emancipating yourself.

● Search for codependency books and read the ones that call out to you.

● Work with a guide in some way. If you resonate with me, sign up for my Personal Mastery Course. Or, join me at the Retreat in Hawaii for men, women, and couples.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Have feedback about this podcast?

Feb 9, 2019

Get ready for an incredible conversation with one of the most heart-centered, boss lady, bad-asses I know: Marie Forleo! Marie runs an online business school for modern entrepreneurs, called B School  In this interview we cover a lot of ground from what you really do need to do in your business, what you should NOT do, how to balance masculine and feminine energies, and how to stop giving a crap about what people think of you.

Marie just released a free video training series where she shares some really awesome information and a ton of value!  You’ll get to know Marie (and love her if you don’t already), as she shares her incredible story of how she has built a multi-million dollar business online with integrity.

Access those here: Christinehassler.com/freetraining
 
I’ll also be announcing ways I can support you in B School so be sure to sign up at christinehassler.com to get my latest announcements. 
Feb 6, 2019

This episode really isn’t about sex, it’s secondary. What this call is really about is letting go of your past so you can enjoy your present and future and letting go of judgment, especially of other people. Today’s caller, Michaela, feels guilty about judging her partner about something she perceives as a problem. And, whenever we are judgmental of another person it’s usually an indicator that there is something inside of us we need to look at.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode178]

If you notice you are being judgmental or being irritated with someone else, you may be projecting some part of yourself onto them. Maybe it is reflecting a part of you that you don’t want to look at or you don’t like about yourself.

Are you neglecting some part of your life — your sex life maybe? You may have a good reason for it. You are too busy, or tired, or you have kids? Or, is there a history of abuse that has made you disconnect from your sexuality all together?

When you have the identity of a sexual abuse survivor you can get caught up in it. What you really want to be is a sexual thriver. If you were abused or molested and you are not enjoying your body you are giving the abuser, or molester, power over your body even today. By not reclaiming your power in a healthy way you continue to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. It’s time to take your power back.

There are two common reactions to being sexually abused.  One is being promiscuous or over-sexualized, having fewer boundaries around sex, or who you have sex with. This is more common when sexual abuse happened at a younger age.

Then the other extreme is disconnecting from sexuality altogether. When true intimacy sets in or if life gets busy, you feel like you can take sex or leave it. Sex may not feel enjoyable and many people can check out of their bodies during sex. Now, this doesn’t just apply to sexual abuse victims. This happens to a lot of people especially women when we get too much in our heads and we’ve got too much baggage we are repressing. It mutes our sexuality.

If your sexuality is on the back burner and it is not something you have given much attention to then perhaps it’s time to start giving it some attention. Sexuality isn’t just about having sex. It’s about having pleasure in our bodies and being connected.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● If there is someone in your life you are judging harshly without taking an honest look at yourself?

● To all the moms out there, have you paid more attention to the kids and less to your partner or spouse?

● Have you had sexual trauma or bad sexual experiences that have dimmed your desire or enjoyment of sex?

● Are you avoiding going back and reprocessing pain from your past because you think it’s going to retraumatize you?

 

Michaela’s Question:

Michaela would like guidance on how to take the judgment, and the guilt she feels from it, out of her marriage.

 

Michaela’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

● Her partner is overweight.

● There is love but no passion in her marriage.

● She experienced sexual abuse as a child.

● She has difficulty with intimacy.

● She focuses on the kids more than her partner.

● She realizes her husband is starved for physical intimacy.

● She wants to take back her power for giving and receiving pleasure.

● She feels hopeful.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She needs to forgive herself for how she feels.

● She should seek out a Somatic therapist who focuses on sexual abuse.

● She should look into S-Factor classes or dance classes.

● She should listen to the “Pleasure on Purpose” interview with Dr. Heike Joy Hudson.

● She will be attending my Spring Retreat in San Diego.

 

Takeaways:

● Practice projection. If you spot it, you got it.

● Listen to Episode #131 about Self-love and my Coaches Corner the “Pleasure on Purpose” interview with Dr. Heike Joy Hudson.

● Do something that brings you pleasure. Dance, put your feet in the grass, just do something that makes you feel good.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Have feedback about this podcast?

 

Feb 2, 2019

Alexia Vernon is the author of the book, Step into Your Moxie: Amplify Your Voice, Visibility, and Influence in the World. Branded a “Moxie Maven” by President Obama’s White House Office of Public Engagement for her unique and effective approach to women’s empowerment, Alexia Vernon is a sought-after speaking and leadership coach to female (and male) executives, entrepreneurs, media personalities, and change makers who want to spread their ideas, positively impact people’s lives, grow their businesses, and advance their thought leadership. A renowned women’s empowerment speaker who has committed her life to showing women how to “step into their moxie®”, since winning the Miss Junior America competition as a college freshman, Alexia has delivered transformational keynotes and corporate trainings for Fortune 500 companies, college campuses, professional associations, the United Nations, and she has delivered a TEDx talk on the future of feminism. Connect with Alexia online at alexiavernon.com.

Order Step into Your Moxie and grab Alexia's pre-order bonuses: StepIntoYourMoxie.com
 
And get your free audio download “Insights from the Inside of my Business” from Christine here:  christinehassler.com/business
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