Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2023 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week’s episode where I offer you a process to receive 2024. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process.
Dr. Julia DiGangi is a neuropsychologist. She has nearly two decades of experience studying the connection between our brains and our behavior. Dr. DiGangi has worked with leaders at The White House Press Office, global companies,international NGOs, and the US Special Forces. Her understanding of stress, trauma, and resilience is also informed by her work in international development and humanitarian aid, where she served some of the world's most vulnerable communities. The founder of NeuroHealth Partners, a neuropsychology-based consultancy, DiGangi shows people—at work and athome—how to harness the power of the brain to lead more satisfying and emotionally intelligent lives. Connect with Julia DiGangi at drjuliadigangi.com.
This coaching call is about learning to trust others. Today’s caller, Samantha, was bullied as a child and finds it difficult to trust others enough to make new friends. She asks for guidance on expanding her circle of friends and allowing herself to be truly seen by others.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode432].
We can get a thousand compliments, and a thousand great things can happen but we always seem to remember the one yucky thing someone said or did. And, often, it can be much stronger than yucky. It can be downright traumatic. Being bullied, not feeling like you fit in, and not feeling that you can trust people are very traumatic because they push against our need for belonging, which is a safety and survival need.
If you have a hard time trusting people, really the person you don’t trust is yourself.
If you are looking at something in your life that feels like a big problem or block, look to where the beliefs or behaviors have served you. Consider how you can reframe it. Choose wisely or pay attention to your intuition if something comes up. Or, if someone betrays you, stand up for yourself. Stand up to a bully. Get honest with yourself, and stop playing the victim.
The CIT coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Would you like to have more people in your life but you just don’t trust people?
Are you expecting people to hurt you and find it hard to trust others?
Was there an early-life event that shaped the way you make friendships and let people in?
Samantha’s Question:
Samantha struggles to trust people and would like guidance on how to be more open to expanding her inner circle.
Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She was bullied as a young girl.
She doesn’t trust people immediately.
She wants to be open to additional friendships.
People don’t seem safe to her.
She feels people are out to get her.
She feels blocked from making new friends.
She wants to protect herself and be free.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Learn to trust herself.
Reframe what she tells herself.
Challenge her existing beliefs.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Manisha Thakor has worked in financial services for more than thirty years, with an emphasis on women’s economic empowerment and financial wellbeing. A nationally recognized thought-leader in this space, Thakor has been featured in a wide range of publications including the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, NPR, PBS, CNN, Real Simple, and Women’s Health. Prior to writing MoneyZen, Thakor co-authored two personal finance books for women in their twenties and thirties. Today her work focuses on helping people of all ages to balance financial health and emotional wealth. Thakor earned her MBA from Harvard Business School, her BA from Wellesley College and is both a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). She splits her time between Portland, Oregon and rural Maine. Her website is MoneyZen.com. Manisha's Media Reel
This coaching call is about being curious about body parts and sexuality with other children as a child and then feeling shame and guilt about it as an adult. Today’s caller, Michelle, was a curious child who did not have a good representation of what sex was. She asks for guidance on how to forgive herself and release her guilt and shame.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode431].
How do we raise children not to be ashamed of their bodies, to feel comfortable with their sexuality, and to have boundaries? It comes down to present parenting and having an open dialogue about sexuality and boundaries. Oftentimes, when we are raised with the programming that sex is saved until marriage, there’s a curiosity that isn’t quenched.
When parents don’t have conversations about human sexuality, children do not get their questions answered. Children are naturally curious and will find out on their own if a parent does not make them aware that sexual curiosity is a very natural thing that children have.
If this conversation resonates with you it is time to forgive those places inside that hold guilt and shame. It doesn’t do us any good. Healing, learning, and re-parenting our inner child is what helps us grow.
Christine is accepting new private one-on-one coaching clients and small groups of 2‒4 people for coaching sessions. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/VIP.
An additional coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute’s coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you carrying around shame and guilt from your childhood or the past?
Did you sexually explore with other children and have shame about it as an adult?
As a parent, are you thinking about how to address or handle sexuality with your child?
Are you willing to finally forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself to live the life you want?
Michelle’s Question:
Michelle asks for guidance on releasing the shame and guilt she has carried since childhood.
Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:
As a child, she sexually explored with a family member.
She believes it is limiting her sexual pleasure as an adult.
The exploration happened 30 years ago.
She has had a conversation about it with her husband.
She was raised in a religious home.
She has a curious nature.
Her mother spoke about sex in a way that made her uncomfortable.
She doesn’t feel she pressured anyone into sexual exploration.
She was parentified too soon.
She carries the shame deeply in her body.
She punishes herself and makes herself a villain.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Understand she was not a predator.
Forgive herself for a situation she cannot go back and change.
Forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was responsible at eight to ten years old.
Complete the Inner Child Workshop.
Write down her beliefs and judgments about her situation and forgive herself for each one.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about feeling out of control when being in control is how we have compensated for not getting what we needed as children. Today’s caller, Cato, is pregnant and her lack of control is creating panic. She asks Christine for guidance on how to be okay with the changes in her life and her fear of feeling insignificant.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode430].
As children, we need to belong. We need love. And we need to feel safe. So, whatever we need to do and whoever we need to become to get those things, we do. The need for significance comes from not feeling enough as a child, not feeling significant just for who we are. So as an adult, we are constantly looking for people to see us, love us, and tell us how wonderful we are because that need was not fulfilled in childhood. Either we weren’t told we were good or we only were told we were good when we did something “good.”
Something important for people to talk about is that — Yes, having a baby is blissful and magical AND it can be really hard at times. There are times when the hard times are more than the amazing times and that’s okay. It is an identity death like no other and there’s no way around that.
The more we resist it and try to hang on to who we were or to keep that version of us, the more we are going to bump up against resistance. Because when we get pregnant and when we give birth, the old version of us dies and the maiden becomes the mother. We have to find our new identity at the same time that we are learning to care for another human being. It’s a lot.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you like control? Does it make you feel calm and safe?
Do you consider yourself a capable, on-top-of-it person but something has completely thrown you off your game?
Do you fear not being relevant or not being significant?
Do you know how to receive, or do you believe that you must do to receive and be relevant?
Cato’s Question:
Cato fears that her pregnancy will make her irrelevant and insignificant. She is asking for guidance on how to be okay with herself and what is happening.
Cato’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She is excited about her pregnancy.
Her pregnancy is forcing her to slow down.
She signed up for Elementum Coaching Institute.
Her pregnancy is bringing up depression and feelings of a lack of control.
She is experiencing intense emotions and is unsure of herself for the first time.
She realizes she has been using control to create safety.
She fears slowing down and not being relevant or significant.
Her inner child carries sadness and anger toward her father.
She is unsure if she is worthy of raising her child.
She is embodying receptivity.
She feels closer to her womb and her heart.
She has always kept busy to distract herself from her feelings.
When she slows down, she feels restless.
She finds purpose and meaning in her work.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Welcome the new feelings she is having.
Listen to this episode when it airs.
Embody what it feels like to be in her feminine.
Be curious about her restlessness.
Savor her pregnancy.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Dr. Florence Comite is a clinician-scientist and innovator in the field of precision medicine. She is world-renowned for her expertise in predicting, preventing, and reversing chronic disease and the disorders associated with aging.
She is a true disruptor of the status quo, a “doctorpreneur” with a bold mission--to eliminate chronic disease in the world. She has begun by helping her clients lengthen their healthspans to match their lifespans at the Center, which has not expanded to offices in Palo Alto and Miami Beach.
And now she is applying her research to a virtual medicine app called Groq Health , which is bringing access to the transformative power of personal precision medicine and AI to everyone’s smartphone.