The essence of this coaching call is what causes inspirational blocks and the unhealthy ways we try to motivate ourselves. Today’s caller, Jo, is asking for guidance about how to tap into her inspiration. The pandemic impacted her nervous system and left her lacking the motivation to live into her purpose.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode416].
Often, what inspires us is the stuff that makes us mad. It doesn’t mean we need to come out with anger at people. We need to move through the anger to find the fire and the passion that lies underneath. Then, we can step into the feminine power of discernment and discover our Warrior Woman. Which is a beautiful place to be. When we do this we allow ourselves to be pulled forward by a calling and a mission, versus looking for something external to motivate us.
Women, in general, are not great with our anger. It leaks out in certain ways but we are not great at tapping into our rage and anger and letting it out in a healthy way. This blocks us from our passion. And if we keep suppressing our emotions, rage, and anger we will feel depressed.
Plus, we tend to motivate ourselves by being hard on ourselves and looking at what we think is wrong and the changes we need to make. We believe if we make ourselves miserable enough then maybe we will be motivated to make a change. That is a strategy that doesn’t work or only works for the short term. It allows our inner critic to run the show and we burn ourselves out.
When we realize we are not doing anything wrong and that we are living our purpose because we are learning, growing, healing, and raising our consciousness, it releases the feeling of failure.
If you resonate with this podcast and Christine’s style of coaching, Elementum Coaching Institute is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children, you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th. This is the final course for 2023‒2024.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you feeling a lack of inspiration?
Do you feel you had a setback during the pandemic and you haven’t been able to come back from it?
Do you want to feel like you’re making an impact, that you matter, and what you’re doing in the world matters?
Are you someone who benefits from connection with other people? Are you an extrovert who isn’t connecting with people enough?
Jo’s Question:
Jo is asking about how to find inspiration and motivation for herself and her business in the here and now.
Jo’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She gave up her teaching job to write a novel and build a coaching business.
She moved in with her parents.
The pandemic impacted her nervous system.
She has difficulty spending a lot of time by herself.
She wants to do something meaningful.
She gets overwhelmed with business tasks.
She is trying to motivate herself by being hard on herself.
She wants to be inspired by life.
She has finished her novel.
She signed a lease on an office.
She is an extrovert.
She lived with depression for a long time.
She longs for freedom, transparency, and truth.
She sees her anger as a negative.
She started her business after she found self-compassion.
She is joining Elementum Coaching.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
When she feels trapped in the moment, consider what choices are available to her.
Put herself out there to get connection and support.
Tap into the fire beneath her anger and be motivated by her deep desire.
Start using her voice again.
Join the upcoming Signature Retreat, read Expectation Hangover, or visit ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
Takeaways:
Consider — Is there a part of you that wants to be free and believes that if you do what you want bad things will happen?
Get to know your anger, feel it, and understand it.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Elisha Tichelle is an alchemist of the nervous system for visionary leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs. Following a 20-year career as a somatic researcher and professor, Elisha now supports her clients to expand their nervous systems so their work can make a greater impact in the world - without burning out. Elisha’s facilitation guides an expansion of nervous system regulation, moving people out of operating from positions of stress and overwhelm into embodied states of flow, connection, and mastery. Elisha is the ‘behind the scenes’ priestess to some of the world's most successful and well-known coaches. Through her training program ‘Evolution,’ she guides space holders, facilitators, and coaches into integrating nervous system work in their business and life.
This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today’s caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn’t fully processed. Christine offers guidance.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode415].
There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways.
Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That's being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma.
If you’re trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you’re in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven’t had time to process because you have had to go right into action?
Do you often think you’re in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance?
Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don’t even know how to be?
When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality?
Jo’s Question:
Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control.
Jo’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Her husband was in a debilitating accident.
She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband’s accident.
She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often.
She wants to relieve her husband’s pain.
She does inner child work and meditation.
She has a tendency to be a people pleaser.
She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it.
She hasn’t done trauma-release work.
Her father was strict and unpredictable.
She does everything for others.
She questions her self-worth.
She wants to cure her husband’s pain.
Her husband has accepted his physical condition.
She is grieving and hasn’t fully processed the incident.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine.
Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist.
Have compassion for herself.
Release her anger and trauma.
Recalibrate her nervous system.
Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship.
Accept where her husband is in his healing process.
Takeaways:
Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant?
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
In your personal development journey, you may be asking "what's the point?" You are doing all this "work" and you are not seeing the changes in your life that you desire. In this CC I answer this question and give you reassurance to keep going.
This coaching call is about how patience and compassion without clarity can lead to resentment. Today’s caller, Lucy, doesn’t feel like a priority in her partner’s life. She asks for guidance on whether the relationship is right for her or if there are too many red flags. Christine shares some skills that can help Lucy get what she wants from her relationship.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode414].
Consciousness isn’t just about talking about our wounding or holding space for someone when they cry. It’s about taking action that’s in integrity and alignment with who we say we are.
When we have a lot of emotional vulnerability or sexual intimacy and vulnerability with a man, we can mistake it for being in a conscious relationship. If you are in a dynamic where you’re having a lot of emotional intimacy, but you don’t have the consistency or the feeling of safety, it’s not as conscious as you may think. What do you need to do to make a relationship more conscious? Bring accountability, responsibility, and agreements into it.
Consciousness is an aspect of sacred union, and in sacred union, there’s a masculine and feminine. There is the being and the doing. We can’t just swim around in the feminine being of vulnerability, processing, and emotional intimacy without the masculine of doing, showing up, and having structure. We need both, otherwise, our inner child doesn’t feel safe.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you in a relationship, whether it will be romantic or otherwise, that you’re doubting or you don’t have clarity about?
Are you someone who has trouble asking for what you need so you ask for it in a vague, safe way?
Do you not feel like a priority in a relationship, or as a child?
Are you doubting yourself? Are you feeling some nudges and doubts about something but you’re doubting your doubts?
Lucy’s Question:
Lucy feels stuck when trying to discern the difference between what is a red flag and what is her intuition in a new relationship.
Lucy’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She feels that this new relationship is her first adult relationship.
She has a hard time trusting herself.
Her mother didn’t trust her.
She and her partner are in the process of defining their relationship.
She wants to know if the relationship is right for her.
She doesn’t feel like a priority to her partner.
She appreciates certainty and consistency.
Her partner has full custody of his two children.
Her partner doesn’t make plans with her but asks for dates with little notice.
As a child, she longed for her mother’s attention.
She is still learning about herself and her patterns in relationship.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Propose a schedule to her partner and re-negotiate if needed.
Get specific about what she needs from the relationship.
Takeaways:
Where do you need to have more masculine energy in your relationships?
Where do you need to make clear agreements so you can feel safe?
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about surrender and keeping hope. Today’s caller, Eva, is ready to give up hope and accept that she may never get pregnant. But her intuition is telling her that one day she will be a mother. She asks Christine for guidance and clarity about how to shift into acceptance and let go of her desire to have a baby.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode413].
Our drive and yearning to have a child can be due to our wanting to make our own childhood different. It is a reason why the desire to have a child can be so strong. There is an attachment to wanting to have a biological child that causes a degree of stress inside our system and it can make it harder for the body to get pregnant.
The body will relax when we surrender. But how do we surrender but not give up hope? Resignation is giving up and feeling that you don’t care about what happens. Surrender is more of a letting-go energy. Just handing it over to a higher power, handing it over to a source, handing it over to God, and keeping that longing and desire in your heart.
Oftentimes, our “soul babies” want a certain kind of clearing of generational patterns before they come in. And, our bodies strive to be healthy before they carry a baby.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you been wanting something for a long time and you keep trying but it’s not happening?
Have you decided to surrender, but still have some hope and it leads to an expectation hangover?
Were you able to fully relax and surrender as a child?
As a coping strategy, are you a planner? Does controlling and planning everything help you to feel safe?
Eva’s Question:
Eva has been trying to have a child and has not yet gotten pregnant. Her intuition tells her she will one day have a child. She is looking for guidance about how to reduce her monthly expectation hangovers.
Eva’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She used fertility drugs to try to get pregnant.
She grieved the idea of being childless.
Her gut tells her that one day she will become pregnant and be a mother.
She doesn’t want to have an expectation hangover every month when she menstruates.
Her planning and control is a trauma response.
She believes she needs to mother herself better.
Her mother was emotionally volatile.
Her mood as a child was based on the mood of her mother.
Her nervous system is dysregulated.
Her inner child wants to be held.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Surrender and let go of the attachment to having a biological child but stay open to the idea.
Rediscover her true essence.
Know that it is not her fault for not getting pregnant.
Give herself the childhood, and love she deserves, but never had.
Begin the Inner Child Workshop.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This coaching call is about embracing our mother energy. Today’s caller, Davina, is a life coach struggling to attract her ideal clients. She was told that she may fear being seen, but it didn’t entirely resonate with her. During the session, she discovers that it is an inner-child wound impacting her efforts.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode412].
When we have blocks, when imposter syndrome comes up, or we are not attracting what we want, we can believe it is a fear of being seen. And while that may be true in many ways — many of us do have a fear of being seen and being vulnerable, but that is not always what it is. There may be something deeper that is more accurate.
There are inner-child, super-subconscious wounds and operating systems we develop when we are young impact our lives in various ways that we are not aware of. Whenever our reaction to something doesn’t match the circumstance in terms of severity, our inner child is triggered.
For anyone, especially coaches, sometimes we think we need to have great answers all the time, but if we can just hold a space of love and compassion for people in our life, that is often more powerful than any piece of advice or aha moment we can create. Often, someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have.
At Elementum Coaching Institute, we train epic coaches. If you resonate with this podcast and Christine’s style of coaching, this is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you believe you have a fear of being seen or is it hard to put yourself out there?
Are you a coach and you are having difficulty attracting the exact kind of clients you want? Do you have a childhood that involves some kind of abandonment or not a feeling really chosen by a parent?
Do you get angry, frustrated, or annoyed when people copy you?
Davina’s Question:
Davina is struggling to attract her ideal clients and is asking for guidance about her messaging efforts.
Davina’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She is a life coach.
She is annoyed by people who copy her.
A coach told her she is afraid of being seen.
Her mother abandoned her and started a different family.
She had to share her mother’s attention.
She felt she has always had to do things on her own.
She feels sad and angry.
She grieves the loss of the relationship she had with her mother.
Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for her.
Her father wasn’t emotionally available.
She is vulnerable when she feels safe and supported.
She takes a long time to open up to people.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Know that her anger and sadness are valid and that it needs to be expressed.
Work with her inner child about her mother’s leaving.
Take the opportunity to be open and honest.
Give herself as much time as she needs.
Write down how she would coach others in a similar situation.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.