Nicole Sachs, LCSW is a speaker, writer, podcaster and psychotherapist who has dedicated her work and her practice to the treatment of chronic pain, symptoms, syndromes and conditions. She is the author of the book The Meaning of Truth, and the online course FREEDOM FROM CHRONIC PAIN. Her brand, The Cure for Chronic Pain, includes a Website, Podcast and YouTube Channel. Her personal experience as well as work with thousands of people around the world have shaped and evolved Nicole’s theories, which serve to teach those suffering how to heal themselves completely with no medication or surgery.

This is a call about feeling worthy, trusting yourself, and knowing you are enough. Today’s caller, Lisa, mistakenly believes she is defective in some way, but it’s not true. She initially questions her career path but we unpack her question to get to the root of what is blocking her. There are some powerful ‘ahas’ in this call.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode237]

When our desires and our wants are not congruent with our beliefs about ourselves, we can fall into the trap of looking outside ourselves to make us feel a certain way. The universe will keep blocking that from happening because it wants us to learn that we can generate those feelings from inside ourselves and we don’t need anyone or anything else to make us feel confident or believe in ourselves.

Our life lessons, our parents, the things that impact our personality and behavioral patterns; all of it is changeable. All of that is healable, I promise you. What is not shiftable is your soul and your spirit. Your soul essence, who you are, your spirit can never be defective or deflated.

Join Stef and I three to five times per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall and allow us to support you.

Listen to my last Coaches Corner where Emily Fletcher shares a meditation designed to help us stress less. After listening go to Zivameditation.com/online/ to get 50% off one of her mediation training.

Stefan and I will be hosting our second ‘Be the Queen’ virtual teaching and coaching in April. The program for women seeking to call in an amazing, conscious relationship includes nine calls, a Facebook group, Facebook Lives, and a bonus live event in September. Christinehassler.com/bethequeen/

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel defective because you can’t seem to get to where you want to be in your life?
• Are you trying a lot of things, hoping to find something you are passionate about or love doing?
• Did you have too much responsibility as a child?
• Do you have contradicting desires and beliefs?

Lisa’s Question:

Lisa has spent years in a job she doesn’t like and feels stuck but can’t pinpoint what she really wants to do.

Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is in a career she doesn’t like.
• She feels like she is a procrastinator and lazy.
• She took the first job she was offered.
• She wants to be in a more strategic position.
• She feels stressed.
• She started pursuing fashion as a hobby.
• She believes that she is unworthy.
• She has never felt connected to anything.
• She didn’t have the opportunity to play and be herself as a child.
• She is a generational pattern breaker.
• She lived in a state of survival as a child.
• Her spirit wants more.
• She is doing EMDR therapy.
• Her desires and her wants are not congruent with her beliefs about herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She should be proud of herself for getting out there and trying new things.
• She needs to reparent and heal herself.
• She needs to tap into her shadow self and express herself.
• She should read Expectation Hangover and join my Personal Mastery course.

Assignments and Takeaways:

• Think about things that you were shamed for as a child and have compassion for yourself, take back your power, and give yourself permission to start enjoying the things you love.
• Commit to feeling again. It’s not about discipline, it’s about being attuned to what is going on in the moment.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation and the leading expert in meditation for extraordinary performance. In this very timely interview, she speaks to why mediation is so imperative for our wellbeing - particularly for our immune system.  Emily guides you through a powerful meditation and offers you 50% off her Ziza meditation training which you can access at https://zivameditation.com/online/ The Ziva Technique is a powerful trifecta of mindfulness, meditation and manifesting designed to unlock your full potential.

Also check out her book, Stress Less, Accomplish More, debuted at #7 out of all books on Amazon.

This is a call about issue-based relationships. Today’s caller, Megan, is curious about whether she should go back to a relationship that is on a break. She wants to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. I explain what an issue-based relationship is and give her some guidance about how to listen to her inner knowing.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode236]

The five relationships are issue-based, journey mate, compatibility, fantasy, and side-by-side partnership. Not every relationship is made to last forever or should last forever. Different relationships come for different reasons and teach us different things. When we understand what type of relationship we have then it is a little bit easier to deal with.

An issue-based relationship is when our childhood wounds attract us to each other. We tend to date our unresolved issues from our childhood. Normally one person dumps feelings all over the other and the other person either dumps feelings back or tries to clean up the mess. They keep triggering each other and playing out patterns. When couples go to couple’s counseling it doesn’t really work because they keep trying to work on the relationship but they should be working on their own issues. It’s like two people who speak totally different languages and you are trying to teach them how to speak a third language.

For people in issue-based relationships, I recommend taking a break and separating, working on themselves, and then re-evaluating the relationship. By then they may decide the relationship is not what they want or they get back together.

March 18, 2020, Stefanos and I are co-hosting a group call about relationships. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. If you missed my live group coaching call about how to care for your energetic and spiritual hygiene and cope during times of stress download it for free at Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there someone from your past that you are considering bringing back into your life?
• Are you in an issue-based relationship?
• Have you been in a relationship that has felt like great chemistry but it was actually codependence?
• Are you willing to be on your own, or not in a relationship, for as long as it takes to see clearly what you need from a relationship?

Megan’s Question:

Megan would like to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship.

Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She attended my Spring Retreat.
• She is in an issue-based relationship.
• She entered into the relationship from an unhealthy space.
• She has an opportunity to reconnect with her boyfriend who she has strong feelings for.
• She has a pattern of giving men multiple chances.
• Her father wasn’t emotionally available.
• She feels an extremely strong connection to her boyfriend.
• She has a pattern of asking external sources for answers to her internal questions.
• She wants to get more into her healthy masculine.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She may want to let her boyfriend complete his coaching before reconnecting.
• She needs to trust herself and her inner knowing.
• She should reaffirm advice from others by writing it down and considering how it feels to her.
• She should pray for the highest good of all parties.

Assignments and Takeaways:

• Relationships are always learning opportunities. Look at your triggering relationships and consider what they are reflecting back to you.
• If you are in an issue-based relationship and are not getting anywhere, take a break and work separately for a year and then see where you stand.
• Evaluate the kind of partner you are being to yourself and work on your self-care and self-love.

Sponsor:

LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and cleansing wipes you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to MyLola.com to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription. Get a starter pack subscription for just $5.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

This call is about reclaiming your sexuality and getting over body issues. Today’s caller, Heidi, has felt shame about her sexuality since she was a child. During our conversation, I coach her through how to reclaim her sexuality and how she can feel safe in her body to experience pleasure.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode235]

Being connected to our bodies and experiencing pleasure is important. There are a lot of therapies that help people move past eating disorders and fall back in love with their bodies. But, sexuality is a part of the therapy that is often left out.

When we don’t experience sensual or sexual pleasure or we disconnect from our body and are not satisfied we attempt to fill the void with food for satiation. For some, the only way to feel safe is to enforce some kind of control over their bodies which may create a body image issue or an eating disorder.

We can store emotional pain in our reproductive organs just like we store tension in our shoulders. And it is common for many women to experience pain during sex or sex doesn’t feel good to them. It is natural for human beings to want to experience pleasure. So, start introducing pleasure in ways that feel safe with you.

We don’t need to know the specifics behind our fears to heal ourselves and move on.

Secure your spot for our live group coaching call on love and relationships on March 18th. Be part of my community for only $20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the recorded version of the call.

Join Stefanos and me in Austin for our ‘Love Amplified: Amplifying Your Relationship with Yourself, with Others, and with Your Higher Power.’ To sign up for the event on September 24–27th go to ChristineHassler.com/austin.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have any body image issues? Have you had an eating disorder in the past or are struggling with it now?
• Were you raised in a very strict, religious, or repressed home?
• Were you shamed as a child or teenager?
• Do you experience pleasure in your current life?
• Do you enjoy sex? Could it be better?

Heidi’s Question:

Heidi would like guidance on how to heal her body from an eating disorder.

Heidi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She sabotages herself and reverts to old patterns.
• She battles anorexia.
• She rarely felt safe as a child.
• She always tried to please her father.
• She felt shame around how she looked.
• Her family is very religious.
• She has disconnected from her sexuality.

How to get over it and on with it:

• She needs to unlock her sacred sexuality.
• She should look for healers to help her.
• She needs to put more intention into her sex life with her husband.
• She needs to indulge in self-pleasure to feel safe in her body.

Assignments and Takeaways:

• If you have been dealing with an eating disorder or body image issue, take an inventory of how much pleasure you have in your life.
• You don’t need a partner to experience pleasure. Create pleasure dates with yourself.
• Somatic therapy, Pelvic Floor Therapy, Dancing, Tantra are all ways you can heal and help yourself to enjoy being in your body.
• Put more intention into your sex life.
• Enjoy being in your body. Don’t disconnect from your physical experience.

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — What if you could take away the hassle of bra shopping and find the perfect fitting bra that is made for comfort in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz to find your perfect size, even if it’s a half size. Third Love has donated over 15 million gently-used bras to women in need in the San Francisco Bay area. Use the link to get 15% off the first purchase of your favorite bra.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

This week Christine shares about her experience at Dr. Joe Dispenza's week-long advanced retreat - learn a little about who Dr. Joe is, what he teaches, and how to move through resistance when you are breaking out of your comfort zone.  Christine also announces more about the retreat she is teaching in September: www.christinehassler.com/austin

This episode is about how to break addictive behaviors. Today’s caller, Dee, had a chaotic childhood and is unconsciously creating chaos in her adult life because it feels familiar and safe. We work through the process of identifying her emotional addiction and unpack why it’s hard to shift and then how to shift it.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode234]

How we know that an unresolved issue from our past or an old emotional addiction has created a pattern of acting that is so unconscious that we have a hard time ‘controlling’ it is at play is that we do something that doesn’t match our current life.

If you are doing something that doesn’t match up to what your current life represents, you have some work to do in terms of going back and cleaning up the past.

When we have a lot of chaos or are used to feeling it, we become addicted to negative or lower vibrational feelings, like anxiety. Sometimes the revved up, anxious, addicted behavior creates a feeling of peace because it is familiar.

With any addiction, you are never after the substance. You are after the feeling the substance gives you. When we understand that the human psyche feels safety with certainty the brain continually hunts for what it knows to be familiar. It’s way more than sabotage. It’s a part of the brain that is so familiar with chaos that when everything is good and peaceful, it feels wrong or off.

If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction a different way.

Secure your spot for our live group coaching call on love and relationships on March 18th. Be part of my community for only $20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information.

Join Stefanos and me in Austin in the Fall for our Love Amplified: Amplifying Your Relationship with Yourself, with Others, and with Your Higher Power. To get on the ‘interested’ list go to ChristineHassler.com/austin.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have a habit of overspending and/or overeating?
• Do you have a behavior where you see yourself doing it and you know you shouldn’t but you just can't seem to stop?
• Did you grow up with a lot of chaos? Is the chaos gone but you continue to bring chaos into your life?
• How are you about going with the flow and letting go of control?
• Do you have a deep connection with a higher power?

Dee’s Question:

Dee has a habit of overspending and overeating and would like guidance on how to break her past programming.

Dee’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She’s read Expectation Hangover.
• She continues to accrue debt.
• She overeats unhealthy foods.
• She’s never been taught about money.
• She grew up with scarcity and chaos.
• There is addiction in her family.
• She is unconsciously creating chaos.
• She’s always been a seeker.
• She doesn’t feel worthy.
• She works in the spiritual arts.
• She feels positive about what to do next.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• If she can change where she focuses her energy, from spending to spiritual things will open up for her.
• She needs to stop herself in the moment and generate feelings of love.
• She needs to stir up the chemicals in her body and brain.
• When she feels an urge to spend or eat, she should put one hand on her heart and one on her head and give herself love.
• She needs to be gentle with herself while she breaks the cycle.

Takeaways:

• If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction in a different way.

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Rothy’s makes everyday flats for women and girls on the go. They are stylish, classic, and comfortable with new colors launching all the time. These cute and versatile shoes made from repurposed plastic water bottles are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Get your Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast