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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: March, 2016
Mar 30, 2016

Our dreams come from our inner wisdom and our wants come from our ego.

We all have things that happen in our lives, which create fear, uncertainty, doubt and self-limiting beliefs. Often, we try to ease the pain of those things by chasing after something. For example, if you are really hard on yourself, then you may spend a lot of time wanting someone else to love you. You have a high want for a romantic relationship or you have a parent who was really hard on you or only validated you for your accomplishments, and you may have grown up with the feeling of unworthiness and high want for money and success.

Ego-based wants come from feeling ‘less than’, and then searching for something or someone to fill the void. These kinds of wants are not coming from an authentic place, because at the authentic self-level we know that absolutely nothing is missing. The want is coming from our ego. When we obtain our ego-based wants, they only give us a temporary sense of satisfaction. They do not cure the deep longing we feel for worthiness, belonging and love.

How do we know something we are longing for is not an ego-based desire but a true dream we must pursue? It comes down to the feeling of longing, which we feel in our heart, not in our head. Our dreams are a psychic prediction of what is coming; we feel a deep longing to experience something because we know that on some level, it is our destiny.  We can’t always control the form and timing of it and that is where suffering can come in.  It is imperative we pursue our dreams on the level of essence, not form; and we focus on the feelings we long to feel rather than try to make it happen or get attached to how we think it should happen.

An example of this is, perhaps you feel a longing to make an impact on the world. You feel a deep desire in your heart, which is almost painful when you feel you are not doing it right now. Instead of trying to figure out what business to start to make a difference, focus instead on the feelings you want to feel and then begin to take aligned actions in that direction. Set the intention every day to be of service and ask to be used as an instrument of impact. Look for the simple ways to make an impact right now. When it comes to dreams, waiting is not a good idea. Take action now to move you in the direction of how you want to feel and what you want to experience. The biggest roadblock to going after dreams is fear. Nothing silences the voice of your inner wisdom more than doubt and fear. Honor your dreams and stop being so scared. 

Today’s caller, Anya is scared and feels guilty about wanting to go after her dream because it was not her original plan.

I invite all of you to join me in September 16-22 for my retreat in Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in July for my signature retreat.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you know what your dreams are? Are you terrified to go after them?
  • Do you feel stuck because you do not know how to turn your dreams and longings into actual steps?
  • Are you concerned that if you don’t go after your dreams soon you will spend the rest of your life regretting it?

 

Anya’s Question:

Anya has been feeling lost because she is passionate about acting but she is afraid to follow her dream.

 

Anya’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels the pressure of the expectations others have of her
  • She is embarrassed that her dream is different than her education
  • She needs to take the first step

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She can give herself permission to stand for her dreams
  • She should communicate her dream to others
  • She needs to take the first step
  • She should write a list of all the reasons acting is important to her

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Give yourself permission to pursue your dreams
  • Write down a list of reasons why your dreams have value and are safe to explore
  • Change or update your story to include what matters most to you
  • Get fully behind your dreams with intention

 

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite Alpha Brain).

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover

20 Something Manifesto

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Mar 26, 2016

This Coach’s Corner features inspirational catalyst John O’Leary.  As a nine-year-old boy, John was burned on 100% of his body and expected to die. Today, he travels the world teaching others how to truly live.

John empowers 50,000 people each year to LIVE INSPIRED at live events. He released his first book earlier this month and it is a bestseller on Amazon. After hearing him today in our coaches corner, you’ll definitely want a copy so remember the title: ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life.

John is a business owner, writer, husband and father of four. Expected to die. Now, teaching others how to truly live. John O’Leary, welcome to Over it and On with It!.

Mar 23, 2016

Have you ever had something come back around like a romantic relationship, friendship, job or career path that you thought was over?

Or perhaps you’ve gotten a second chance with a different situation or cast of characters.  Like a new relationship after a divorce or a job after being laid off. Or even your health after getting to the other side of an illness.

Second chances do happen for all of us and when they do, it is important that we apply the lessons we learned the first time around.

Many of us are great about doing this because we are intentional about not wanting to repeat the same kind of what we’d call mistakes again.  We approach second chances with gratitude and excitement.

But second chances can also produce fear.  What is fascinating (and rather sad) about us humans sometimes is that the closer what we truly wants gets, the more we attempt to push it away.  Obviously this is not a conscious thing we do, the saboteur is very sneaky…yet powerful. And the reason we sabotage is because we have not fully healed the core issues and misunderstandings around love and worthiness.   

You’ll listen to an example of this with today’s caller Jenny who has gotten a second chance in regards to a romantic relationship.  She would love to just feel grateful and excited, yet what she is experiencing is a roller coaster of emotions. 

The time is now for her to accept that she is truly worthy of love. She can open her heart, expose her vulnerability and bloom into her feminine aspect or she can go to her protected, solitary place. Being honest and vulnerable in her relationships will allow her to let someone special in without feeling fear. 

Coaching Tip from this call: Focus should be on learning and not on the outcome. Dropping our ego and adopting a learning oriented approach to life serves both client and coach, equally.

I invite all of you to join me in September for an my retreat in magical Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you recently gotten a second chance at something and if so, how are you approaching it?
  • Is there someone or something you would like a second chance with?
  • Do you truly know you are deserving of love and/or success?
  • Do you get anxious about a relationship, and experience a roller coaster of emotions?
  • Ladies, do you live in your in your masculine energy a lot? Gentlemen, do you have trouble connecting to a woman who experiences a roller coaster of emotions?

 

Jenny’s Question:

Jenny wants to know why she reacted like she did when a nice guy wanted to be her boyfriend and what tools she can use to stay in the present and to drop the anxiety.

 

Jenny’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She doesn’t feel worthy of love
  • She is being vulnerable and it feels uncomfortable
  • She may feel like a fraud when accepting love
  • She can feel safe receiving love

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Focus on the shared visions and values
  • Recognize self-worth
  • Talk to anxiety in a feminine, loving way
  • Shift awareness and let love in

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Stay in the present and be grateful for all you have
  • Think of the ways you can be more vulnerable
  • Practice saying “Thank You”
  • Check out Men Exposed, Alison Armstrong and David Deita

 

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorites, Alpha Brain and MCT Oil)

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Men Exposed

Allison Armstrong

The Queen’s Code

David Dieta

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Christine@christinehassler.com

Jill@christinehassler.com

Mar 19, 2016

Are you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love, kindness and generosity. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic.

In today’s coaches corner I discuss the danger of killing yourself with inauthentic kindness!

Mar 16, 2016

Why does our list of requirements for a lover, looks a lot like a job application? There are considerations for height, weight, and experience. Did we meet the person based on a reference from someone else? Do they fit into our mold of the “right one”?

When we focus or obsess more on how the relationship is progressing than the quality of the experience, we miss out on why we are supposed to be in the relationship in the first place. What we are questioning is not actually a real dispute. We are creating doubts in order to use them as distractions so we do not have to address the real issue, which may be something from our past we need to let go of.  

Today’s caller, Jennifer, wants to find a reason she should not be dating her younger boyfriend. She says he is supportive and loyal, which are both things she believes she wants from a relationship, but she can’t seem to make herself trust that his feelings are real. As we drill down to the actual issue, Jennifer realizes she may be the one who is holding the relationship back and that it has nothing to do with age. 

A special note to the coaches who are listening - if I had formed an opinion about the age gap in Jennifer’s relationship, we may have never gotten to the root issue, which is a core wound that needs healing. Coaches should be present and without judgment when working with clients.

I invite all of you to join me in September for my retreat in Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22 and if you can’t make it to Bali, you can get information for my upcoming “LA weekend” retreat.  

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you been dating someone and would like to know if they are the right fit? 
  • Is there something external about your partner that bothers you?
  • Is there a question unrelated to dating which is distracting you by keeping your mind busy?
  • Do you desire a love but as it gets closer you find yourself wanting to run away?

 

Jennifer’s Question:

Jennifer is in a relationship with someone 10 years younger than she is, and she wants to make sure she is not taking advantage of his youth.

 

Jennifer’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • Her boyfriend may be coming on too strong
  • She attracts unavailable people
  • She is holding anger towards her father
  • She’s continually trying to fix herself

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should forgive her father
  • Learn to release her emotions
  • Find her own inner parent and give herself unconditional love
  • Stop defining her relationship and open her heart to what she can learn

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Journal about underlying issues and use sentence starters like
    • ○ I really need to know the answer to this because...
    • ○ I’m really wondering about this because...
    • ○ If I had the answer to this question I would…
    • Ditch the requirements checklist when looking for or judging a partner; instead focus on how you want to feel with that person
    • Set up practices to assist you to integrate new disciplines and habits
    • Attend one of my retreats

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite, Alpha Brain)

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Christine@christinehassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com for retreat information

Mar 12, 2016

Where’s the line between preparation and obsession?

Picture a time, maybe it is even now, when you have been preparing for something BIG like an interview, event, presentation, or the release of some creative endeavor. Now consider how much mental, physical, and emotional energy you put into it.

Was it a lot -perhaps too much? Did you find yourself stressing out about it?

 

Mar 9, 2016

You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault. You did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. These are powerful statements. What if you were told these things when you were young? Would you still be searching for your soulmate to complete you?

When we are born we are complete. We have a sense of unconditional love and acceptance. As we go through our human existence, we are influenced by others around us and we tend to believe what they tell us as truths. Since those people have been apart from source love for a longer time, they say things which may not be encouraging for us. We then experience the illusion of separation. We feel a longing for the love and acceptance of others to fill the void and heal our core wound. 

If you have ever chased love, been deeply hurt by a breakup or felt addicted to another person, you are unconsciously longing to find your way back to source love. The hurt may be hard for your ego to accept but your soul needs internal love, not love from another person. It is time to reprogram yourself. It is time to move away from being a victim and time to release your anger instead of recycling it.

Today, Deborah thinks her issue is about her indecisive new love but we find out it is not really about him but about her and her story, which is ripe for being revised.

If anything in this episode resonates with you, get my book Expectation Hangover and come to one of my signature retreats.  Together we will help you to release the feelings which no longer serve you.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you really hooked into someone in an unhealthy relationship?
  • Are you still reeling from a break-up and you don’t know how you will move on?
  • Have you felt a sense of loneliness or not belonging? Is there a void you are attempting to fill?
  • Do you believe once you meet your soulmate everything will be wonderful and you will feel complete?

 

Deborah’s Question:

Deborah is having a difficult time understanding why her recent great “love” keeps distancing himself from her and why her heart feels lost.

 

Deborah’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She brought the relationship to herself to heal a core wound
  • She is stuck at the emotional level
  • Loss is a core wound in her life
  • She realizes she needs to release her old story
  • It’s not her fault

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should release her emotions, not just recycle them
  • Try an adult temper tantrum
  • Make use of release writing until her energy shifts
  • Understand that Little Deborah did the best she could with the tools she had at the time
  • Try mothering herself as a younger child
  • Be choosy about what and who you believe
  • See past relationships for what they are, which is learning opportunities

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Read Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody
  • Use the emotional section of Expectation Hangover and do the meditations
  • Unfriend your ex on social media
  • Start your spiritual practice

 

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

christine@christinehassler.com

Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody

Mar 5, 2016

When it comes to making a choice, is better to listen to our head or our heart? I explore this question in today’s episode of Coach’s Corner

Mar 2, 2016

Being “busy” seems to be a way we identify ourselves.  We run ourselves ragged trying to meet the expectations of our bosses, our colleagues, and our families. We begin to put our needs aside in favor of what others want. To compensate for not practicing self-love, we wear our busyness as a badge of honor, which only seems to distract us from the lack of balance in our lives. We run the risk of having our children believe that stress equals success.

The distracting device which is busyness cannot go on forever. We start to tear apart at the seams. Our inner self is crying out for attention and it becomes rebellious in order to get what it needs. While it looks for compensation, we are moving on to the next thing. Feeding this longing will serve us better than if we try to push right through.

Fulfillment will not find us until we stop, refuel and rebalance as part of a daily practice. Until we stop doing and start being.

Today’s caller, Gulsen, is a very logical and analytical person. She feels motivated only when she is accountable to others.  When she gets home she’s finding it difficult to DO anything. Most intelligent people have a problem with just being so. I guide her through establishing behaviors that will get her where she wants to go.

Get started on your 40-day commitment to yourself by putting one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Take deep breaths and bring all of your awareness to your breaths. Imagine you have a volume control in your head and that the volume control represents all of the chatter that is going through your head. Then while breathing, turn the volume down. Listen to this podcast to hear my entire guided meditation.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you addicted to busyness? Do you wear it like a badge of honor?
  • Do you feel you should always be doing something?
  • Are you pinpoint on some things but completely give up on other things due to lack of motivation?
  • Is your self-worth measured by how much you are doing?

 

Gulsen’s Question:

Gulsen wants to know why being at home drains her typically motivated and inspired nature.

 

Gulsen’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She pushes herself to the edge 
  • She distracts herself with busyness
  • Her worth and her value come from being, not doing

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should make a sanctuary in her home to sit in stillness
  • Trust herself when she is just being
  • She should connect with love every day for 40 days

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Take an inventory of your life
  • Forgive yourself for the misunderstanding that busyness makes you successful
  • Commit to a 40-day practice of meditation or presencing

 

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler on twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

christine@christinehassler.com

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