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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: December, 2015
Dec 31, 2015

Happy New Year! This is a guided visualization and meditation that will support you in completing this year and consciously creating the next. In this twelve minute journey, I guide you through identifying the lessons and blessings from the last year so that you can clearly envision and begin creating what you’d like to experience in the coming year. This is especially great to listen to around the New Year but you can listen to it anytime of year to complete your past, focus on your present and create your future.

Set some time aside to gift yourself with this process.

Sending you love for a prosperous and joyful New Year.

Dec 30, 2015

This episode is about getting over what you didn’t get from a parent (or parents).

There is no manual for living. Sometimes we just need to ask for help from our spiritual guide and then direct all of our energy towards the life we truly desire. There will be times when we get frustrated and angry with ourselves and other people. It’s OK, it happens. We are all human, right?

Well, even our parents are human. Many of us have trouble accepting our parents as individuals outside of the role they play in our lives. We put our own expectations on them to try to fill the safety and security voids we perceived when we were separated from God during birth.

We often long for a love our parents are unable to give us. We need to recognize that just because they are older, it doesn’t mean their ability to love has changed. They love us in the best way they know how.

Today’s caller, Samantha uses self-criticism to protect herself from her pain. She is accustomed to holding herself to higher standards because she coaches others through their life journeys.  She is still holding on to her childhood anger over not feeling loved and acknowledged by her father. 

We work through her responsibility to re-parent herself, free herself through a spiritual practice and look at her father with compassionate eyes. 

If you are a woman who is having difficulty processing your anger, read the Emotional section of my book, Expectation Hangover. Try the temper tantrum technique, it may sound silly, but it really works.

Time slots have opened up for coaching sessions in January. If you are interested in a one-on-one session with me, sign up here Coaching with Christine.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel you are aware of your past and relationship with your parents, but that nothing is changing in your present?
  • Are you a self-help coach and hold yourself to a higher standard, believing you should know better?
  • Are you still longing for something you didn’t get from your parents? Do you experience an Expectation Hangover because your parents haven’t changed like you had hoped?
  • Are you irritable and short tempered with others, but know that isn’t who you are in your heart? 

 

Samantha’s Question:

Samantha wants to know how to stop being hard on other people. She finds herself feeling and doing things she doesn’t feel comfortable with, but she doesn’t understand why.

 

Samantha’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels she needs to protect herself
  • She is angry and may be bypassing her spirit
  • She’s projecting expectations on her Father that he cannot live up to
  • The same pattern keeps showing up in her life
  • She is worthy of her father’s love

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Sam should give herself permission to be who she is
  • She can realize coaching people isn’t about saving them
  • She shouldn’t be lazy when it comes to her spiritual practice
  • She should put her energy into the direction she wants to head towards

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • What are you still hoping for from your parent?
  • How can you see your parents through compassionate eyes? What is their human story?
  • Write a letter to your parents letting them off the hook. Don’t send it, but use it as a way to let the issue go. 
  • What are ways you can parent yourself to give yourself what you need?
  • Start your spiritual practice now. Ask for help and it will come.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

Liberate yourself at my Winter Retreat January 8-10th

@christinhassler

 

Dec 23, 2015

True freedom is fulfilling and it is not about getting whatever you want. Freedom is about being fully and authentically self-expressed. Often our identities are created based on how others define us and not who we truly are. We may become imprisoned by other people’s opinions.

When we have been suppressed or restricted, we do not feel free and may rebel with self-sabotaging behavior. This may lead to reactive and unnecessary risks that do not serve us.  Some risks, however, are intuitive and proactive. These types of risk can lead us to necessary growth.

Today’s caller, Jessica, doesn’t understand why she isn’t doing the things she should be doing. She relies on other people’s expectations and judgments and doesn’t feel worthy or deserving of her dreams.

She is dealing with issues of her own self-worth while trying to live up to society’s outcome addicted focus.

When we realize it is all about truth and love, we bring ourselves into alignment with our core values. It is then we can appreciate that our raw, authentic self is absolutely perfect.

* Can you list the top 5 core values that are the compass for your life? You should be clear about what they are. If you need help, the process to find them is detailed in my book, Expectation Hangover.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you engaging in any rebellious or sabotaging behavior?
  • Do you start to freak out when you get what you want?
  • Do you feel free or suppressed and constricted?
  • Have you taken risks in life or do you play it safe?
  • Do you know what you should be doing, but take actions contrary to your goal?

Jessica’s Question:

Jessica wants to know why she makes the “wrong” decisions when she knows what the right decision should be, and why she sabotages herself while trying to attain her goals.

Jessica’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She has a war going on in her brain
  • She grew up with very strict rules
  • She doesn’t take risks
  • She doesn’t feel free
  • She always did the right thing even if she didn’t want to
  • She has difficulty breaking away from her ex-husband’s criticism
  • She wants to set a good example for her son

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Find a way for your inner rebel to be satiated
  • Give yourself permission to go after what you want
  • Acknowledge who you are apart from what you’ve been told
  • Stop carrying around old stories
  • Honor your heartfelt desires

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Write about your inner rebel
    • Describe your inner rebel
    • How does it act?
    • What behaviors does it engage in?
  • Write your definition of freedom
  • Write down ways you may be restricting yourself
  • Write down ways you could be authentically self-expressed
  • What is one tangible action step you can take toward being more authentically self-expressed?

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

The Big Leap

@christinhassler

Dec 21, 2015

Happy Holidays!! This is a beautiful and sweet time of year, which can bring forward so many feelings and experiences.

Some of you may be absolutely blissful – you love this season and are in a place of peace. Others of you may be really struggling this time of year.  Perhaps you feel alone. Or family dynamics are challenging. And some may be feeling a mix of both. You have moments of peace and joy and other moments of loneliness, anxiety or even sadness.

Wherever you are is okay.  Please remove the expectation that your holidays are supposed to be any certain way – otherwise you will just keep waking up with an expectation hangover!

My intention in sharing this meditation with you today is to remind you about what is most important not only this time of year but in every moment of every day, which is LOVE.

Dec 19, 2015

Regret. We’ve all felt it at some point. Some of you are feeling it right now and you are suffering because of it.

Something did or did not happen the way you wanted. You did or didn’t do something the way you wished you would have. And you want more than anything to be able to rewind time and get a do-over. You’ve replayed scenarios over and over in your head thinking of all the things you could have done or said. You’re trapped in a shoulda/coulda/woulda perspective and it’s a miserable place to be, isn’t it?

As much as you are aware that regret is a miserable place to hang out in, you cannot seem to be free of it. But I have good news: liberation from regret is 100% possible!! And it is essential to your well-being that you commit to letting go of regret.

In this Coaches Corner, I explain how.  Listen closely to this episode…or you’ll regret it! ;)

Dec 16, 2015

Seasons change and so do we. We all have expectations as to how our lives should be, what our family should think of us and how we will feel after making a big change.

 

When we cannot come to terms with the decisions we have made, we experience regret and consequently an Expectation Hangover. But regret is useless and we often beat ourselves up over nothing. We cannot move forward by living in regret.

 

What if instead of suffering from regret, we found peace and experienced connection by reprogramming our unconscious mind to fully accept the decisions we have made? What if instead of dwelling on the past, we fully opened ourselves to receiving all the gifts in the present?

 

In today’s call, Jenny is uncertain about her decision to move, in order to be closer to her family. She is having difficulty creating her new life, because she is stuck in her old one. She is also physically sick from the stress. She thinks geography may be a factor, but we discover she may need to stop pushing against the change and allow things to happen.

 

Taking a step back and seeing the impression her indecisiveness is leaving on her children, might be the key that helps Jenny to accept the decisions she has made and to move forward towards creating the story she wants to tell.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there a recent decision you made you currently regret?
  • Are you in a situation where you think that changing things is the answer to your problems?
  • Are you feeling physically drained and apathetic?
  • Are you an adventure junkie?
  • Are you a parent and feel it's important to make your child feel safe and secure?

 

Jenny’s Question:

Jenny is making herself physically sick and tired, because she regrets moving a long distance to be closer to her family and would like to know how to get over it and on with it.

 

Jenny’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She is living half in Wyoming and half in Wisconsin
  • Her fatigue is a signal from her body
  • Self-judgment is sucking her dry
  • She's stuttering on decisions

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Fully accept the reasons for making previous decisions
  • Be fully present wherever you are
  • Begin a spiritual practice such as yoga and/or meditation
  • Create the feeling you are missing
  • Learn to live more inside out and less outside in
  • Embody safety and acceptance
  • Create a community where you are

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Write out a list of emotions you want to feel and generate them, reorient yourself from inside out
  • Write out these 3 things:

              ○   The reasons why it was the best decision you could have made, given the information you had

              ○   The reasons why you feel safe and secure

              ○   The reasons why you can trust yourself

  • Collect evidence about the story you want to tell
  • Inspect your health problem to see if it could be a lack of self-love; also check out "Choosing me before we” for in-depth analysis
  • Examine what you are teaching your children, they feel your energy

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

Coaching Corner - Getting Over Regret

Choosing ME Before WE - Christine Hassler

Dec 12, 2015

Courage. It’s a desirable quality to have and an empowering way to be. Our heroes and inspirational leaders are labeled courageous.  We are told throughout our life to “be courageous,” but that isn’t always easy. In fact, courage is often one of the most difficult qualities to truly integrate.

Why is being courageous not as easy to embody as the heroes make it look in the movies?  There are two main reasons.  First, being courageous means being willing to face fear and embrace uncertainty.  YIKES! We don’t like being scared or not knowing what is ahead.  Second, most of us do not truly understand what courage really means. 

 

In this coaches corner, Christine shares how to become more courageous and go after the things in life that scare us.

Dec 9, 2015

Absolute certainty is rare. If you are waiting to be absolutely certain before making a decision, you may find yourself spinning in confusion.

Today’s session is with Marie, who believes she is ready to make big changes in her life, but fear and unresolved issues from a recent break-up are keeping her from taking the first step. She is distracting herself by considering multiple changes at once and it’s depleting her energy. 

When we fear something we create roadblocks for ourselves. Roadblocks can be waiting for certainty, attempting to move forward before dealing with issues from the past and talking a lot about what we want, but not taking the first steps to get to it.

Marie realizes she may be lingering on open issues from a past relationship. She needs closure before she is able to move forward, but she’s unsure of how to get past the breakup. We work through how Marie can use her inner wisdom to remove the residue from the past and pursue her career dreams with a clear mind.

When we accept change and allow it to happen, we discover our challenges are leading us somewhere. 

Read the emotional and mental chapters of the treatment plan in my book, Expectation Hangover, to gain a deeper understanding on grieving and closure.

If you want to get unstuck join me on January 8th - 10th for my “for women only” Winter Retreat.  

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you waiting to do something until you are completely sure?

Are you attempting to make too many decisions at once and not making progress on any of them?

Are you a creative person who feels the need to do everything all at once?

Are you still wanting something from a previous relationship and are unable to move on until you get it?

 

Marie’s Question:

Marie feels she is in a rut and wants to make a big move, including getting over her last relationship. She is a motivated person but has a fear of moving forward.

 

Marie’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She wants to feel certain about something before she moves forward
  • She’s trying to do too many things at once
  • She’s making a reactive choice and not a proactive one 
  • She needs other people’s opinions
  • Listening to her intuition will help her move on

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Clean up old residue first before moving forward
  • Focus on one thing at a time
  • Own the part you played in the relationship
  • Listen to your intuition

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Focus on the problem or the question you don’t want to deal with first 
  • A closure conversation or letter should include
    • ○ What you learned
    • ○ What you are grateful for
    • ○ What you forgive the other person for
    • ○ What you forgive yourself for
    • ○ Acknowledge the other person
    • ○ A thank you and a goodbye

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler

jill@christinehassler.com

2016 Winter Retreat

Expectation Hangover

 

Dec 5, 2015

Are you carrying around an unspoken question or assumption about something? Did someone do something or behave in a way that stumped (and possibly hurt) you but you haven’t had the guts to ask them about it? Are you being a wee bit wimpy when it comes to speaking your truth?

I see so many people suffer under our own assumptions, pretend everything is fine, and take things personally rather than just having the chutzpha to be real, raw and vulnerable with another person.

In today’s coaches corner I give you tips for mustering up the courage to take action and actually say what you need (and want) to say.

Dec 2, 2015

If you have ever dealt with the pain of rejection, this episode will help!  Perhaps you’ve heard, “Rejection is God’s Protection” but the process of rejection feels pretty awful until we learn what it is really about. Our caller today, Alex, has courageously opened up to another person and shared her truth with them. But the other person did not reciprocate her feelings. She asks me how she can get over her heartbreak and rejection and get on with her life. 

If you have ever felt the pain of rejection or find yourself in an avoidance trap, listen to the tips I give Alex at the end of our call. You can also find resources in my book, Expectation Hangover, to help heal yourself. 

We also talk about speaking our truth - which takes takes courage. We ponder on how our message will be received; but if we believe in our truth, there is value in getting it out into the world.  

When our truth needs to be told to another person and they don’t realize the outcome we are hoping for we often take it personally. We perceive their response as if something is wrong with us or we did something wrong.

Our fear of the possible rejection is an avoidance trap. An avoidance trap is spending our time and energy avoiding what we don’t want rather than working towards what we do want.

By understanding that we consistently attract experiences to help us heal our core wounds, we realize rejection doesn’t really exist. It is merely a projection of unowned, unseen qualities inside us.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

What are you construing perceived rejection to mean about you?

What was so attractive about the person or situation you feel didn’t choose you?

Is there someone you have feelings for but are too scared to tell them?

Has something upset you but you don’t have the guts to speak your truth?

 

Alex’s Question:

Alex wants to know how to best handle the heartbreak and rejection she is feeling after telling someone she loves them and finding out the feelings are not mutual.  

 

Alex’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She struggles with feeling as though she didn’t fit in while growing up
  • She feels she gave away her power
  • She is learning to read people
  • She realizes she is stronger than she thought she was
  • She doesn’t need to look outside herself for her worthiness

 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Don’t look to others to find your own worth
  • Trust your desires and have faith
  • Be kind to yourself during this time

 

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Let go of anger and resentment - Empty out your “negative” emotions in a letter and then rip it up
  • Write a goodbye letter you don’t intend to mail that includes:
    • ○ I’m saying goodbye because …
    • ○ I learned from you …
    • ○ I thank you for …
    • ○ I forgive myself for …
    • ○ I forgive myself for ...
    • Say what you need to say - Speak to the person even if they are not there
    • Set boundaries with yourself and move on
    • Engage in activities that encourage self-acceptance
    • Do a positive projection exercise

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Expectation Hangover 

@christinhassler

 

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