This episode is about issue-based relationships. Today’s caller, Rachel, has been in a relationship for 6 years, and for most of that time she has been uneasy and lonely. She says she doesn’t know if she should leave the relationship. But as you will hear in the call, Rachel knew the answer to her question before she even asked it. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode81] More often than not, the issue that comes up in our romantic relationships has to do with our parents. Whatever we craved but didn’t get from our mother or father, is what we tend to look for in a mate. And, until you heal your core issues, you will continue to seek out approval or attention from your parents, in your romantic relationships. During the call, it was clear to me Rachel was in an issue-based relationship. Issue-based relationships have a lot of chemistry, and the couple is super-attracted to each other. The physical part of the relationship, especially the making up, hooks you in. One of the reasons you are attracted to the other person is because your issues dovetail. The beautiful thing about issue-based relationships is they are learning opportunities. They bring unresolved issues to the surface, which makes them easier to identify and heal. It is time to be honest with yourself about the kind of person you are attracted to. Are you playing out unresolved issues from your past in your current relationships? I recommended Rachel join my Inner Circle Community to give her a support system, and a place where she can openly share. It is truly a place where you can invest in yourself. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Whose love, attention, or approval did you crave the most as a child? How has that played out in your relationships? ● Are you in a relationship you are questioning? ● Do you know you should be single, but you are frightened by the thought of it? ● Is your connection with a higher power something you would like to deepen? Rachel's Question: Rachel wants to know if she should stick with a relationship she feels uneasy and lonely in. Rachel's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She’s not sure what she loves about her partner. ● As a child, she craved her father’s approval. ● She entered into the relationship without knowing who he was, because she wanted to be chosen. ● She feels like she is falling apart. ● She’s unfamiliar with being by herself. ● She needed permission to trust her intuition. ● She feels it’s time to fly. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should take a break from the relationship, and work on herself. ● She should ask for help from her higher power. ● She should take a year off from dating. ● She should move out on her own. ● She needs to get some outside support. Assignments: ● Think about whose love, attention, approval, and affection you craved the most, your mom or dad’s? How are you still searching for it in other people? ● Start journaling. A good sentence starter is … Dear Mom, I wish you … or Dear Dad, I wish you … ● Get individual therapy or coaching. ● Ask for help. ● Make yourself your number one priority. ● Join my Inner Circle Community for support from those who WANT to support you. Sponsor: Freshbooks: Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Over It and On With It Listener Survey Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Bali Retreat Enrollment Page The Work by Byron Katie
Your wish is my command :) Many of you asked for a guided meditation to support you in listening to the wisdom of your heart so here it is. Enjoy. Big love from my heart, Christine
This episode is about freeing yourself from pain and anxiety. Today’s caller, Nicole, is struggling to find her true intuition. She feels it may be lost to her, or clouded over by her deep-seated anxiety. She has used her anxiety for many years to protect herself, but she now realizes it is time to get over it and on with it. We made a beautiful discovery together I hope helps you connect some of the puzzle pieces in your own life. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode80] The wonderful thing about pain and anxiety is that we have the power to free ourselves from it. Many of the overwhelming feelings we are having now are rooted somewhere in our past. Something devastating caused our young minds to create a program to follow, so we didn’t have to feel that way ever again. As we grow, the ability to address our fears, and overcome our ‘victim story’ becomes available to us. We are able to comfort our younger selves by self-parenting and through work that is healing. We also have the ability to acknowledge our need for protection, thank it for its service to us, and move our energy to where we need it now. We can then replace our impulsive responses with our inner voice, which is guided by our intuition. When we find our higher purpose, we find another more self-honoring, self-supportive way to get it. Retreat Information — Enrollment is now open for the upcoming Bali Retreat in September. Step into your dreams. Don’t let excuses stop you. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you suffer from anxiety? Is there something you would like to be free of? ● Whenever you try anything new, does it come with a lot of fear? ● Do you prefer control over uncertainty? ● Did something happen in your past that might still be impacting you, but you are not sure what to do about it? Nicole's Question: Nicole has anxiety-driven panic attacks, and lacks self-confidence. She longs to have a deeper life and become connected to the world. Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She uses her anxiety as a source of protection. ● She needs to feel she is in control of a situation. ● As a child, she felt vulnerable. ● Her intuition will be clearer when anxiety subsides. ● She needs to respond rather than react. ● It’s OK for her to make mistakes. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should tell her younger self, “things will be alright.” ● Say, “I accept,” and then, “I am choosing to.” ● Interrupt the patterns of anxiety. ● Turn up the volume of her calm inner voice. ● Understand the difference between resignation and acceptance. Assignments: ● Think about the “big deals,” or significant events in your life. What belief systems were formed then, that might be impacting you today? ● Tell yourself the things you needed to hear during your “big deals.” ● Understand that it was not your fault. ● How does your protective mechanism serve you? Give it a new job description. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Bali Retreat Enrollment Page
Listen in as Christine answers two listener questions. The first is about how to handle very different decisions making strategies in a marriage. The second is about opening your heart and being more vulnerable in dating after you have been hurt in the past.
This episode is about self-sabotage. Today’s caller, Drew, is an inspiring entrepreneur who has overcome odds such as being homeless and obesity but he is still getting in his own way. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode79] I acknowledge Drew for being honest, real and raw during our call. He is a seeker who is committed to his growth. He truly believes he is worthy and is committed to shifting. Often, we doubt ourselves because we haven’t made the changes we want, or haven’t achieved as much as we would like. The discomfort that comes from the feeling of not living into our potential, and the seeker who emerges from within us, are feedback to let us know we are well on our way. We do not optimize ourselves overnight. Part of living into our potential is feeling and dealing with the pain of not being there yet. It’s how we polish the diamond of our spirit. The problem is we label it as suffering because it’s uncomfortable. What if feeling a desire to transform is a symptom of being a seeker? It’s important to keep going. You will eventually feel a shift. You will start feeling less pain and more purpose. Your focus will shift from yourself to your mission and vision. You will heal core wounds and let go of limiting beliefs. This will attract different things into your life. What you do is not as important as how you do it. Allow your choices and subsequent actions to come from a place of self-love, acceptance, and service. A podcast I did with my friend Aubrey on his podcast is a great supplemental resource to this session with Drew. We talked a lot about self-love, judgment, and the inner critic. The Aubrey Marcus Podcast #89 — Self-Love and Psychedelic Medicine. Retreat Information — Bali is a place of healing. I have been visiting for 10 years, so my retreats offer an authentic Balinese experience, in addition to the retreat work. Enrollment is now open for the upcoming Bali Retreat in September. Step into your dreams. Don’t let excuses stop you. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up. Learn ways to trust yourself in my Inner Circle private membership community. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Have you overcome huge obstacles, but still don’t feel over the hump, or are still facing large obstacles? ● Do you feel like you have something to prove, and is it often the fuel that drives you? ● Are your self-worth and self-love conditional? ● Do you have an expectation to be strong and confident, but feel rejected on the inside? Drew's Question: Drew would like to know how to stop self-sabotaging himself and how to find the strength to pursue and achieve his goals. Drew's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He knows he is not broken. ● He feels he needs to prove himself. ● He sees himself through a lens of judgment. ● He puts conditions on his self-worth. ● He has a huge, low ego. ● He has felt invisible and rejected most of his life. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He needs to create a daily practice around own his worth. ● He needs to become a better friend to himself. ● He should remove the conditions he puts on love, acceptance, and worthiness. ● He needs to stop trying to prove himself. ● He should use the Release Writing exercise in Expectation Hangover before meditating. ● When he feels himself drifting into self-sabotage he should remind himself of his why, his worth, and his true value, and feel love. Assignments: ● Examine what is driving your behavior. ● Write out your conditions of worthiness. ● Write out new rules, or the truth about your worthiness. ● Try a heart meditation. Allow love to fill your entire physical being. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Bali Retreat Enrollment Page The Aubrey Marcus Podcast #89
This is a MUST LISTEN!! So real, raw and FULL of wisdom. Christine speaks with Ali Golden, the author of “A Good Soldier.” When Ally Golden heads off to college, she breathes a sigh of relief; she is ready to discover herself, independent of her mother. However, this newfound freedom and several failed attempts at intimacy soon leave Golden feeling adrift. But even as she withdraws from the world, Golden feels an all-powerful emotional connection to the woman who raised her. Moving into adulthood, Golden tries to envision a future in which she can begin her own family—as the mental decline of her mother reaches its lowest point. Will Golden be able to heal her relationship with her mother before it’s too late? Golden’s raw honesty and stunning emotional insights will comfort anyone who has been on the chaotic and unpredictable journey with a mentally ill friend or family member. Check out A Good Soldier on Amazon in trade paperback or ebook
This episode is about being conflicted when making a choice. Today’s caller, Anna, wants to leave her marriage but is unsure as to whether or not it is “the right thing to do.” [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode78] There is no right or wrong when it comes to ending anything. Giving up or getting out of something just because it’s hard or takes work is quitting, but opting out of something because it doesn’t align with your core values is a self-honoring choice. So, how do you know if you are quitting or giving up too early, versus when something has reached its expiration date? I believe any relationship takes work, and can be transformed, but sometimes it doesn’t serve either partner to stay together just because they made a commitment, if there is a drastic difference in values and vision. And, having guilt is useless. We feel guilty when we judge ourselves for doing something “bad or wrong,” and we think to suffer through the feeling of guilt somehow makes it better. If you are not married yet, my advice is to wait to marry until you are in a place where you are not looking for someone to fill a void or to meet a need, but rather someone to share your life with. Trusting ourselves is important. If you want to live in integrity, you have to have self-trust. You can learn ways to trust yourself in my Inner Circle private membership community. Retreat Information — Bali is a place of healing. I have been visiting for 10 years, so my retreats offer an authentic Balinese experience, in addition to the retreat work. Enrollment is now open for the next Bali Retreat in September. If you have objections, but you really want to do it. Don’t let excuses stop you. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you in a situation that has reached its expiration date? ● Are you paying more attention to the opinions of others, rather than your own voice? ● Have you left a situation, but feel tremendous guilt about it? ● Do you tend to jump from relationship to relationship, believing that it will be different? Anna's Question: Anna wants to be sure she is not making a decision to leave her marriage from a place of fear. Anna's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She doesn’t need someone to make her feel safe anymore. ● She doesn’t want her marriage to work out. ● She doesn’t know how to deal with the guilt of leaving. ● She needs to take ownership of her feelings. ● She felt she couldn’t trust her own voice. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should acknowledge and appreciate everything her husband has done for her. ● She should use listen to her inner voice and find her own truth. ● She needs to forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was a bad person. ● She should be clear about why she is leaving, and honor it by being a partner to herself. Takeaways: ● If you are trying to stick it out in a situation out of pride, fear, or worry about what others will think, be honest with yourself, and make a self-honoring choice. ● Reach out to people who support you and can give you spiritual altitude. ● Make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner, and become all of those things. ● Find yourself during my retreat in Bali. Sponsor: Freshbooks: Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Marie Forleo’s B-School
Listen in as Christine answers listener questions. The first if from Jessica who is new on the personal growth path and having difficulty dealing with all the awareness and changes that are coming up. She has found herself in a funk and wants to know how to get out of it. The second one is from Lara who is asking about the difference between spiritual bypass and actually doing the work. And finally Christine takes on a question from Kelly who wants to leave her “safe” job and go for her dreams but is scared of leaving the security of a salary and benefits. And remember: FreshBooks is offering a 30 day, unrestricted free trial to my listeners. To claim it, just go to FreshBooks.com / CHRISTINE and enter OVER IT AND ON WITH IT in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.
This episode is about pursuing dreams, overcoming fears, and stepping into the freedom of being an entrepreneur. Today’s caller, Katie, feels a calling to start a business as a coach, but fear is holding her back.
We don’t get out of fear with pep talks or trying to push our way through. We get out of fear through action. One of Katie’s action steps is enrolling in B-School.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode77]
Fear about what other people think of you will paralyze you, if you are not focused on service and impact. If you make your work about you, it will drain you emotionally. You will constantly be trying to protect yourself from criticism or judgment. It is not possible for everyone to like you. Feedback is feedback. You can choose to get triggered by it, and take it personally, or you can receive it neutrally. You have your own unique group of people you are supposed to help. Stop giving your energy to the people who aren’t your people.
If you stop analyzing everything, and start taking action, you will be able to use the energy to generate momentum in your business. Please stop wasting your time and energy obsessing about what other people think.
If you feel a calling and feel like you have gifts to share, stop stalling, and trust your gifts; it wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t leading you somewhere. Your dreams and desires are not random. But, only you can turn them into reality.
If you desire freedom of time and freedom of self expression, or you can feel a calling to do what you love, enroll in Marie Forleo’s B-School. I use what I learned in B-School in my business. It has helped me to uplevel every aspect of my business. Enrollment ends March 3rd, so use the payment plan and get started. It pays for itself. I am offering 4 free 90-minute group coaching calls, access to a private Facebook group, guided meditations, mastermind day and other bonuses because I believe in the program so much.
Katie would like to know how to get through the fear and anxiety that has come with the attention her new business is getting.
Katie's Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler