Over It And On With It

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

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CC: Become a Boundary Boss with Terri Cole 0

Apr 24, 2021

What are boundaries? How do we set them and keep them? How do we know if our boundaries have been crossed? These are just some of the juicy questions that Terri Cole, author of the book, Boundary Boss, answers. You will get so much value out of this conversation and it will improve all of your relationships!

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change.

She inspires over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.

To get your copy of the book and the free gifts from Terri, go to https://boundarybossbook.com/

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EP 293: Having a Heart So Big it Hurts Sometimes with Beth 0

Apr 21, 2021

This episode is about loving your big feelings and emotions. Today’s caller, Beth, wants to feel comfortable in her skin. In her childhood home, her gift of being an empath became a liability. Whoever is the most open, the most sensitive one in a family often absorbs everyone else's feelings. Beth would like guidance on how to keep her heart open but not feel overwhelmed by her feelings.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode293]

In today's world, it's often hard to keep our hearts open. So many people are numb, or shut down from feeling, or are scared to feel the “negative” feelings like sadness and anger, or have built walls and around their hearts and wear masks every day. When we are empathic and live among people who suppress, we feel it all.

Oftentimes, what makes an empath’s heart hurt is feeling sympathy or sorry. It is feeling someone else's pain and suffering so much so that we feel bad for them. It is a judgment. When we are in sympathy we are judging.

The truth is none of us want to be blissfully ignorant. Ignorance really isn’t bliss. We may think it is and think back to a time when maybe we weren’t so awake and aware and romanticize it, thinking maybe it was better, but it really isn’t. We are here to evolve. We are here to awaken. And although it comes with many challenges, going back into being asleep is not an option.

Feelings are part of our life force and tears are not bad. Celebrate yourself.

Join us for our Love and Relationship Group Coaching Call on April 22 at 5 pm Central. It will be recorded if you can’t make it. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. It’s $20. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a soft-hearted person or do you tend to cry about a lot of things?
Have you ever been told you're “too sensitive”?
Do you downplay challenges or trauma from childhood and think your childhood wasn’t that bad?

Beth’s Question:

Beth would like guidance on how to be more self-aware.

Beth’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She’s become more aware from doing personal development work.
She thinks peace might be unattainable for her.
She is not comfortable in her skin and feels like a sham.
She is a single mom.
She is very emotional and sometimes wishes she was not.
She carries shame about being soft-hearted.
She cries easily.
She was a middle child who felt alone.
People tell her she is too emotional.
She has the gift of being an empath.
She attended the Inner Child Workshop.
No one encouraged her emotional intelligence.
She was teased as a kid.
She had temper tantrums at home.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Stop judging herself for how she feels.
Welcome her feelings when they arise.
Do not hold other people’s feelings.
Do not feel sympathy for others.
Meditate and ask for spiritual assistance.

Takeaways:

Release, rather than recycle your feelings.
Parent your sensitive, beautiful inner child.
Get the anger out. Download the anger release process at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
Join in on this week's Group Coaching Call.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How to Manage Growth Spurts (aka Difficult Times) in Relationship 0

Apr 17, 2021

Stefanos joins Christine again to share tips for how to manage challenging conversations and moments in a relationship. Any relationship, not just romantic ones, hit periods of growth where the relationship needs to get to the next level. This can be confronting for one or both people. In this episode we give you advice on when to pause and allow integration to happen (rather than keep processing) as well as a tool called "pendulating."

To join us for our group coaching call on relationships, go to www.christinehassler.com/group

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EP 292: Stop Obsessive Thinking with Demi 0

Apr 14, 2021

This episode is about calming an anxious or hypervigilant mind. Today’s caller, Demi, has a pattern of obsessive-compulsive thinking, anxiety, and a worst-case scenario mindset. She would like guidance on how to calm her mind and be more compassionate with herself. It is a very human trait to worry and have anxiety, especially for people who grew up in a chaotic home.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode292]

One of the ways we can deal with hypervigilance or anxiety is by witnessing it. It is important we do our best not to make it wrong and accept it. The moment we realize it is not us, the moment we recognize it as OCD, our inner critic, or when we can name it, it gives us a sense of control. It makes it feel as if it is not a runaway train. That’s how we begin to calm down.

The pattern of not being able to relax but also feeling like you are not doing enough is caused by the emotion underneath the hypervigilance we don’t want to feel. And, with hypervigilance comes increased sensitivity. Increased sensitivity usually means more connection to intuition, compassion, and empathy.

People who grew up in a chaotic home may have a hard time relaxing because often, that was the calm before the storm. Having an emotional release with no judgment is an important part of working with this.

If you know someone who isn’t able to calm down or “just not think” about something it is important to have sensitivity and compassion for them because it can be maddening for the person dealing with anxiety or OCD to be told to calm down when the pattern is playing out.

Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to get on the early bird list for our upcoming Relationship Retreat.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you tend to have an overactive brain?
Do you struggle with indecision and a pattern of you feel like you can never do enough?
Do you deal with FOMO or “shoulding” all over yourself?
Do you have a strong intuition but either don’t listen to it or question yourself?

Demi’s Question:

Demi has struggled with overthinking and FOMO since her teen years and would like guidance on how to calm herself.

Demi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels like she is not doing enough.
Her mind gets loud, and she overanalyzes everything.
She suffers from anxiety.
There was instability in her childhood home.
Her parents had a chaotic relationship.
She recently started therapy.
She has studied Somatic therapy.
She loves herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Become aware of her inner critic and accept it with compassion.
Forgive herself for being hard on herself.
Practice release writing.
Realize she is not her thoughts.
Get out of her mind by shaking her body or breathing to move her energy around.

Takeaways:

If you have people in your life who tell you to calm down or to not think about something, do your best to have boundaries about it.
The moment you notice a pattern starting, separate yourself from it. Don’t judge it. Notice it, then love it and accept it.
Use physical calming techniques to move the energy around in the body.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Truths (and Inspiration) about Fertility & Pregnancy 0

Apr 10, 2021

I have looked long and hard for a fertility expert that has both heart and correct, research backed, up to date expertise...and I found it all in Dr. Cleopatra. If you have any questions or concerns about your reproductive health and longevity, you will love this reassuring and informative episode.

Dr. Cleopatra is The Fertility Strategist and Executive Director of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute.

The mission of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute is to see what others can’t using the best of love, science, and commitment to help ensure that your fertility keeps up with your high-achieving life so that you get to have as many superbabies as your heart desires.

Dr. Cleopatra is a scientist and university professor specializing in fertility, pregnancy, and how health is transmitted from one generation to the next. To date, she has received nearly $3 million in grant funding from the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and others. Dr. Cleopatra has been cited over 1,000 times in the past 5 years alone. Dr. Cleopatra teaches women about the primemester—the magical and powerful window of opportunity before pregnancy—when we literally have the power to change the quality and expression of the genes that we pass down to our babies and grandbabies. Using the science-based, big-hearted Primemester^TM Protocol developed and refined by Dr. Cleopatra over the past 24 years, the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute helps women all over the world reverse reproductive aging; get pregnant quickly and easily; reduce miscarriage risk; and finally have the superbaby™ they have been dreaming of for as long as they can remember. Dr. Cleopatra is the author of the forthcoming book, “Primemester to Your Superbaby™.”

Learn more at christinehassler.com/drcleo

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EP 291: Learning to Leave a Bad Situation at the First Sign with Barbara 0

Apr 7, 2021

This episode is about letting go of patterns and relationships that no longer serve you. Today’s caller, Barbara, has a pattern of staying in things long after they are dead, long after the signs say something is no longer in alignment with her life, or it is depleting her life in some way. The pattern of trying to breathe new life into something already dead is a waste of a precious life force. If you can relate to holding on to things for too long or staying in relationships after their expiration date has expired, this episode is for you.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode291]

Being able to nurture and be empathetic and feel what others are going through is a gift. Gifts usually come with a learning opportunity. The gift of being incredibly caring and empathic comes with the learning opportunity of boundaries, of not loving or caring for another so much that we lose sight of ourselves.

If you want to step into your gifts as a healer, empath, teacher, or true caregiver without depleting yourself, for your gifts to flourish you have to break the pattern of giving to dead ends. Break the pattern of giving so much you deplete yourself of your energy, self-care, self-worth, and self-love. Break the cycle of giving to dead ends, nourish your gifts, and use them in a way they can be fully received.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a natural nurturer, or caretaker so much so that it often depletes your self-care?
Is it hard for you to leave situations or relationships or let go of expectations for your life?
Do you keep trying to make something work when you know deep down it probably will not?
Do you feel like a doormat and as if your needs come last?
When you set boundaries to take care of yourself, does it cause you guilt and concern about how the other person is doing more than how you are doing?

Barbara’s Question:

Barbara is questioning staying in her current relationship.

Barbara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

Her boyfriend is in the hospital after threatening to kill her.
She doesn’t know the mental status of her boyfriend.
She doesn’t feel it is in her highest good to stay in her relationship.
She is in therapy.
Her boyfriend’s family is giving her the cold shoulder.
She hasn’t had her needs met in her relationships.
She is a natural empath.
She works in a nursing home.
She has a good friend she can heal with.
She doesn’t want to get into another relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Take care of herself as she cares for others.
Step away from this relationship.
Be aware that her self-worth is not based on how she takes care of others.
No more sacrificing herself.
Self-care is her number one priority.
Join the next Inner Child workshop with her friend.
Make a list of all of the reasons this relationship is not a fit for her.

Takeaways:

What are the warning signs you have gotten in your life about a person or situation that wasn’t truly aligned and you ignored them?
Look at your patterns of people-pleasing and overgiving and know your self-worth and value do not come from helping others.
If you are in a helping profession, make sure you take quality time to take care of yourself and fill your own cup.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.