We all go through different phases in life such as graduating, finding our first job, a mid-life crisis, marriage, having a child, starting a company, retiring, etc. There are also different seasons in life to go through which come more frequently than phases. Like the times when we are busy at work, slowed down because of an illness, distracted by a relationship or just going through internal growth; and things that require us to change our pace or priorities. Consider this, life of an athlete, metaphor shared with me by my friend Lewis Howes. You are not always in the play-offs. In fact, you would burn out if you were. There is a training season, game season, the play-offs and then of course, offseason. To play at their best, players respect the season they are in. It’s important that we respect the seasons we are in to be our best in life. As I have said before, we often wear our busyness like a badge of honor. Somehow we have made doing, doing, doing greater than being, being, being. We are constantly going for things as a distraction. When we are consistently going for the next big thing we don’t have to feel the little things (that are really big things) we sweep under the rug because we just don’t want to deal with them. AND, we are addicted to control. We are great at putting time and energy into the results we want. The more effort we put into getting what we want the more we feel entitled to get the results. When we get what we go after, we win. It brings a sense of security and accomplishment. We feel safe and on track and we want more. But why do we want more? Because it gives us the feeling of control and we love control because the unknown is downright scary. The truth is we really don’t have control over our lives. And nothing illuminates that truth more brightly than an expectation hangover. Today’s caller, Lisa, relates to being a doer and an overachiever. She wants to know what her next big thing is. Even though she may not have given herself time to experience some recent transitions and expectation hangovers in her life. As our souls grow, our higher self and our inner wisdom know exactly when the right time is to process something. Sometimes we are not ready to deal with something. Sometimes we don’t remember something until later. But when it does start to come up, it is so, so crucial that we respect it and be with it. Coach’s Tip - Coaches may notice my style is a bit different in this call. I could sense Lisa is a highly, intelligent woman who likes to figure things out. And, because I knew figuring things out was of value to her, I wanted her to have the experience of figuring things out but in a different way. It was important she connected to her own inner wisdom about what she really needed. It was simply my job to hold the space for her and to ask her questions. Remember, realizations people come to on their own are profound. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a transition and trying to “figure out” your next steps? Do you respect the seasons of your life or are you consistently putting yourself in the play-offs? Have you ever been called or referred to yourself as a control freak? Do you relate to being more of a doer than a feeler? Lisa's Question: Several major changes in Lisa’s life have her confused about where to go and what to do next. Lisa's Key Insights and Aha’s: She identifies with being an overachiever She may be avoiding things she doesn’t want to deal with by keeping herself busy It’s uncomfortable for her to feel in a child’s role and not in control She is looking for validation She knows she needs to give her heart more space and honor her feelings How to get over it and on with it: She should create a space so her higher self can come forward and feel She should parent herself to help her to deal with her many losses She should let her heart break wide open and start feeling Allow her mind to be a servant to her heart She should have deep gratitude for where she is right now Assignments and Takeaways: Make sure you make time for yourself. The better parent you are to yourself the better parent you will be to your children. Be attuned to the triggers or memories your children may cause in you. Children are our spiritual teachers. Ask yourself if there is some healing you need to do. Don’t be scared of letting your heart break wide open. Remember that underneath anger or hurt is love. Let your mind be a servant of your heart. Don’t let your mind be your master. A meditation practice of just 5 minutes a day will help you attune to your own inner wisdom and heart. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Arianna Huffington is the cofounder, president, and editor in chief of the Huffington Post Media Group, and the author of fifteen books. In May 2005, she launched The Huffington Post, a news and blog site that quickly became one of the most widely-read, linked to, and frequently- cited media brands on the Internet. In 2012, the site won a Pulitzer Prize for national reporting. She has been named to Time magazine’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people and
the Forbes Most Powerful Women list. Originally from Greece, she moved to England when she was 16 and graduated from Cambridge University with an M.A. in economics. At 21, she became president of the famed debating society, the Cambridge Union. She serves on numerous boards, including The Center for Public Integrity and The Committee to Protect Journalists. Her book, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, debuted at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list.
Insecurity can be painful and it blinds us from seeing who we truly are. We are not born insecure, we become that way. It’s a feeling we have based on the beliefs we accumulate when people are critical of us or we feel judged in some way. The problem is, we live in a world where most people are pretty hard on themselves and it leaks into people being hard on other people. People who have snapped at you or criticized you aren’t bad people, they are probably just very critical of themselves. The bottom line is when we are able to clean out our insides we act differently on the outside. Confidence doesn’t necessarily come from doing things, it’s more about coming into self-acceptance by dropping our internal critical voice and truly liking ourselves just as we are right now. You don’t have to be perfect before you can accept yourself and you cannot make your self-love conditional. You are the one person you need unconditional love from. Today’s caller Lily is taking a huge step toward building her confidence. Her father has been critical of her and his critical voice became her internal critical voice. She paired his criticism up with his love and now she thinks the way to get love is to criticize herself. Often, the things we think are protecting us are the things that cause us the most suffering. So much about building confidence is about what you stop doing rather than what you start doing. Take a learning-oriented approach to life. Look at what you are attracting without self-blame or thinking you did something wrong. Things are not your fault. They are there to help you stop the voice of judgment and your internal critic. Coach's Tip - Getting over self-criticism is liberating. It is a very important part of being a coach, a light worker or just a loving human being. When we are confident about who we are and we are showing up with our hearts open in full authenticity and when the voice of the inner critic is silenced by our unconditional love, our hearts become open to others and we show up as a more confident and more loving person. The more you accept yourself from where you are right now, the more you can approach growth and change and evolution from a place of love rather than from a place of judgment. Remember, whatever we can do for another we can do for ourselves. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is your confidence level affected by the level of criticism you apply to yourself? Are you looking for something outside of yourself to make you feel confident rather than cleaning up your internal self-talk? Do you desire to be more confident? How often do you doubt yourself? Would you like to be free of the doubt? Are you someone who answers “fine” (aka feelings inside not expressed) when asked how you are? Was there or is there someone in your life who is critical of you? Lily's Question: Lily is having a hard time believing in herself and finding her own value. Lily's Key Insights and Aha’s: She hides how she is truly feeling with “fine” She feels shut down when she opens up and shows her vulnerability She may be uncomfortable with her own vulnerability Being criticized by her father may be affecting her confidence She must seek change from the inside, from herself How to get over it and on with it: She should shift from victim to student She can try to re-parent herself with the voice of an unconditionally loving parent Forgive her father She should speak to herself with love and compassion She can use the voice memo app to record her expressing positive self-talk Assignments and Takeaways: Is there a critical voice in your head? Whose voice is it and is it time to give it back? Write a letter to the voice and thank it for the lessons and then, respectfully, decline to listen to it any longer. Is there someone out there you felt hurt by or triggered by? It is a projection and what can you learn from it? What are you really good at giving others that you are not giving yourself? Listen to the Coaches Corner Mastering Your Mean Girl or Bad Boy episode. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Mastering Your Mean Girl or Bad Boy Episode with Melissa Ambrosini
CHRISTINE ARYLO IS A TRANSFORMATIONAL TEACHER and internationally recognized speaker and author. After earning her MBA from Kellogg and climbing the corporate ladder for fifteen years marketing big brands like The Gap and Frito-Lay, she chose to devote her life to creating a new reality for women and girls, one based on true feminine power, freedom and self-love instead of the relentless pursuit and unsustainable pressure of having to do, be and have it all. SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF TWO BEST-SELLING BOOKS, Choosing ME before WE and Madly in Love With Me, The Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend and the founder of the international day of self-love, February 13th. A self-admitted recovering achievement junkie, doing addict, and super woman, Arylo co-founded the virtual school for women, Inner Mean Girl Reform School, which has helped over 23,000 women on 6 continents transform their inner critics and learn how to tune into their divine feminine Inner Wisdom. Do You Love Yourself? Take the Self Love Pulse Check and see where you are weak & strong in self love. Click here to take the quiz.
This episode is about liberating yourself from any kind of shame and the secrets and judgments that go along with it. When we feel ashamed of something we keep it in the dark and that is why shame is so toxic because it leads to keeping things hidden, keeping things where they are tainted by judgment. Shame often stands as the guard at the gate to vulnerability. The incredible, painful feeling of shame is based on the misunderstanding of a perceived flaw that we believe must stay hidden. The way to get through shame is by stepping into vulnerability and revealing what we are terrified of being found out for. We all want to know that we are loved even if we have these dark, scary, shameful feelings and thoughts. Today’s caller Sara is taking a huge step toward vulnerability. Sara displays remarkable courage by sharing her secret so openly. I sense a lot of you will relate to having secrets or things you are ashamed of or like Sara, an STD that you feel taints you in some way. To heal shame, we not only have to do our inner work but we must also have the courage to bring what we judge as dark or tainted into the light to talk about it. We don’t have to shout out what we are ashamed of from the rooftops, but it’s important that we do not live with secrets. Being raw and real in front of others is an important part of healing any expectation hangover. We cannot talk ourselves out of trauma and shame. We have to feel our way through it. We have to go back to those inner places that got hurt, with compassion and the willingness to feel the feelings we never really got to feel. It’s an important part of the healing process. We can’t get #overitandonwithit by just thinking about it. We have to go back and treat the wound. The more you heal core wounds, bring shame into the light, forgive and reframe how you see yourself, the more you will shift in how you are seen. The universe brings things into our awareness to help us heal not to punish us. If we can reframe how we look at them even the terrible things can be blessings. Listen in and be part of the conversation that breaks down shame. And, I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you carrying around a secret? Do you have an STD, an illness or situation that negatively impacts your dating life? If you are experiencing shame, are you ready and willing to be vulnerable? Are you harboring anger or resentment against anyone or anything which is preventing you from feeling the liberation and love that is your essence? Sara's Question: Sara is having difficulty finding her self-worth in relationships when they begin to get intimate. Sara's Key Insights and Aha’s: The more judgment she places on herself will lead to judgment from others She tries to overcompensate in other areas of her life Her masculine and feminine energies may be out of balance She is bringing her shame into the light by sharing She attracts the kind of love she reveals She can be compassionate with herself and love herself unconditionally How to get over it and on with it: Realize she is not damaged goods and she is not tainted She should do some forgiveness work around her mistrust Be mindful of the story she tells herself about having an STD She can go back to her 24-year-old self and provide her solace If she heals herself on the spiritual level it can help her on the physical level Have a ‘cut the cord’ ceremony to release her anger towards the other person Reminders and Takeaways: Vulnerability - What secrets do you have that you have kept in the dark that need to be brought into the light? If you do have herpes or a different STD, find people to talk to about it so you don’t feel alone. Do emotional work for yourself. Write a letter to your younger self who dealt with the things which make you feel shameful. If you are carrying around a secret and have no one to talk to about it, find a professional or a support group to talk to. Don’t keep it inside. Look at where you are compensating because of something you judge about yourself. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Farnoosh Torabi is America’s leading personal finance authority hooked on helping Americans live their richest, happiest lives. From her early days reporting for Money to now hosting a primetime series on CNBC and writing monthly for O, The Oprah Magazine, she’s become our favorite go-to money expert and friend. Farnoosh is a sought-after speaker and bestselling author. Her latest book is entitled When She Makes More: The Truth About Love and Life for a New Generation of Women. She also contributes to The NBC Today Show and hosts her own award-winning podcast So Money, recently named a “Top Podcast to Grow Your Business” by Inc Magazine - which I was honored to be a recent guest on. You can check out our episode #424 here: http://podcast.farnoosh.tv/2016/05/christine-hassler/ Farnoosh previously hosted the Webby-nominated web series, Financially Fit, on Yahoo. She’s also served as a money coach on such shows as Remake America on Yahoo!, Bank of Mom & Dad on soapNet and TLC’s REAL SIMPLE. REAL LIFE. Her work and advice has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Forbes, Time, Marie Claire, Glamour, Redbook and USA Today. She’s appeared on all major news and talk shows, including CNN, MSNBC, Good Morning America, The View and Live! With Kelly and Michael. Farnoosh graduated from Penn State University with a degree in Finance and International Business. She also holds a Master’s from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. She resides happily in Brooklyn with her husband and young son.
Today’s coaching session is with Kelsey, who is on the precipice of the next stage of her career. The subject of our session has to do with generating money in your career, specifically doing work that feels purposeful. It’s also about building momentum and stepping fully into the things which matter most in your life so that 1) You can create results and 2) You are more fulfilled. Towards the end our conversation you can hear a shift in Kelsey’s voice and energy. You can hear what happens when she shifts fully into her own. This is what happens when we step fully into owning our gifts and experiences. It is highly important to get fully in alignment with who you are and what you are here to do but be aware of competing intentions. If a small percentage of you believes something is not possible, it will be more challenging to make it possible. Know at what stage you are in your career. In the beginning when we are just starting something, it’s normal to have side jobs and then moonlight doing what we love. The wonderful thing that happens with experience is that different skills are honed. We start to become more confident in what we do. We embody it even more and we trust that the universe will lead us exactly where we are supposed to go. We spend much more time worrying about things than we do being strategic and focused towards what we want. Be aware of unconscious collective beliefs like “I can’t make money doing what I love”, “What I love isn’t a real job”, and the like. You need to get rid of those beliefs because even if they seem minimal and if they are there, some part of you believes them. And, if making money doing what you love is a priority for you, I highly encourage you to apply for my Secret Sauce Business Training Program. The program teaches heart-centered entrepreneurs how to build a business which makes money doing what you love by stepping into your unique gifts, talents and experiences. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. And, I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there something you really feel called to do but you just can’t seem to make money at it? Do you truly have faith and believe 100% that you can be financially prosperous doing work you love? What is your relationship with money like? If you were to grade your wealth consciousness, how would you evaluate it? Kelsey's Question: Kelsey has a heavy heart because even though she is currently living her passion, she must struggle to pay her bills every month. Kelsey's Key Insights and Aha’s: She was never taught to manage money She doesn’t trust 100% that she is working towards her calling She can feel that she holds herself back with limiting beliefs She has access to resources she doesn’t use How to get over it and on with it: Knowing she can be prosperous and financially abundant doing what she loves She should look at her belief system with regards to money She should understand her self-worth and shift into alignment with what she is creating She should get into full vibrational alignment with generating her income by doing what she loves to do Connect with people who are prosperous doing what she wants to do She needs some inner work and outer work to change her story Reminders and Takeaways: Be aware of your competing intentions. Write out all your beliefs about what you want to create in your life to see if your beliefs are contradicting each other. What stage of your career are you in? Is it time to move to the next level? Consider what is your wealth consciousness like? Put together a plan for making something your full-time job. Own it! Embody it! You will start manifesting much sooner if you do. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Secret Sauce Mastermind
The number one reason social anxiety is so painful is because it reinforces the illusion of separation. We are all connected, we are all one but we live in a world which makes this so hard to remember. The illusion of separation starts when we are young and we get teased or separated based on our grades, behavior or gender. It continues through our lives and makes us feel not part of something. Understanding that you are not alone, you are not separate and you are no less than anyone else is imperative to your emotional well-being and health. But, it’s not always easy. Some of us have painful experiences from our past that make social situations and making friends harder. Not everyone is an extrovert and for some people walking into a place where they don’t know anyone is like hell on earth. Remember, all people need friends and a soul family. Accept that about yourself and don’t use being introverted as an excuse not to go out and connect. The more you stop worrying about what others think and just show up authentically, the easier it will be to connect and the more your social anxiety will dissolve. People are people, not big scary monsters. The next time you go to an event, have some questions in mind you can ask people beyond “How are you doing?” or “What do you do?” In today’s coaching session with Jenna, we explore why she is feeling social anxiety and isn’t able to maintain long-lasting friendships. And, I share why I was guided to coach her in a way that would shake her up a bit. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. Also, I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali, which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you suffer from social anxiety? Do you dread just thinking about going to an event or initiating a conversation? ● Is making friends challenging? ● Do you want more friends? ● Are you frustrated because you want to change something but just can’t seem to change it? ● Would you like to feel more connected in your life? Are you honest with yourself about why you keep yourself separate? Jenna's Question: Jenna is frustrated over her inability to get over her social anxiety and is looking for guidance on how she can move past it. Jenna's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She may be triggered by feelings of rejection from her mother ● She believes there is something wrong with her ● She realizes that people aren’t thinking about her as much as she thinks they are ● She has all the ingredients she needs to be a friend and to connect How to get over it and on with it: ● She has to stop making things about her ● She should practice being invested and connected to other people ● She should write down the reasons why she is a great friend and read it every day ● She can be honest and simply ask for a friendship ● She should tell herself a different story Reminders and Suggestions: ● People are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. ● Remember people are people. They are not big scary monsters. ● Focus on what you can give. Think about all the amazing things you can bring to a friendship. ● A connection to your higher power is critical. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Secret Sauce Mastermind