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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Jul 28, 2021

This episode is about looking inside and healing unresolved issues. Today’s caller, Sarah, went through a breakup and is having a hard time letting it go. We work through how when we don’t have our needs met as children we may fumble with our needs as an adult. If you are not going through a breakup right now you will relate to this conversation if you have ever tried to fix something in your life that was not working.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode307]

 

Often, we attempt to work out our childhood wounds through dating and relationships. Unconsciously, we look for someone like mom or dad and think — oh this feels familiar. And, we confuse familiarity for love. But they are not the same thing. That is why we sometimes feel scared to do unfamiliar things. Because we confuse unfamiliarity with not being safe.

 

We try to heal our childhood by drawing in people who remind us of it. This creates issue-based relationships that become addictive. We are looking for a relationship to fix the issue rather than doing self-honoring, internal work. When we do the work we avoid attracting those kinds of relationships in the first place.

 

Sometimes we have the expectation that we have to have a certain personality or be a certain way. When we are in our pain, we do not like the pain and we don’t like ourselves in the pain. And, judgment of ourselves and our process only slows us down. It makes things worse. Healing happens when we accept the phase we are in.

 

In a relationship, we all need total honesty, trust, loyalty, intimacy, and someone to hear us and see us without gas-lighting us.

 

Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I’ll choose the winner in the first week of August.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you have a hard time letting go of things even when you know you’re supposed to but you just can’t seem to let go?
  • Did you grow up in a house where you didn’t feel securely attached? Maybe your parents were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or there was chaos in your house?
  • Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like the situation itself makes you needier? You look at a relationship, career, or friendship and don’t even recognize yourself because of some of your behaviors.
  • Do you feel like you have done a lot of work and you have a lot of awareness but you find yourself in the same position over and over?

 

Sarah’s Question:

Sarah is having difficulty letting go of a relationship and feels like she should be doing better.

 

Sarah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her breakup happened three weeks ago.
  • She is setting unrealistic expectations.
  • She felt insecure in the relationship.
  • She is grasping for the relationship.
  • Her parents did not meet her needs as a child.
  • She didn’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
  • She did not feel enough as a child.
  • She’s done a lot of work and is aware of her parents’ shortcomings.
  • She continues to repeat past patterns.
  • She is holding anger and resentment toward her parents.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Grieve the death of what she wanted her parents to be.
  • Allow little Sarah to express her hurt and anger.
  • Ask the universe for the resources to help her heal.
  • Realize the relationship came in because she is ready to go deeper.

 

Takeaways:

  • Go back to the little girl, little boy, or little one inside and allow yourself to get super clear about what you wanted from your parents that you never got and that you are more than likely never ever going to get and allow yourself to grieve it.
  • Let go of trying to fix a relationship, the way you look, a job, or a friendship. Stop looking out and look in. That is always where the healing is.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jul 24, 2021
Internationally bestselling author Michelle Masters has been a Personal Development Trainer and Coach since 1995. Michelle’s work is an innovative use of Neuro-Science based change techniques, Family Constellation work, and quantum healing modalities combined with profound understandings of what creates transformation and lasting change for people.
Her hugely popular Money Magic workshop has helped people all over the world to transform their lives and money.
Learn more here: https://michellemastersnlp.com/
Jul 21, 2021

This episode is about rejection. Today’s caller, Claudia, experiences sadness when she feels rejected. We talk through her feelings of rejection and uncover them to be something she did not connect until this session. If you have a pattern of feeling rejected you will benefit from listening to this episode.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode306]

 

Many times sweet people, or big feelers, people who are more comfortable in sadness than in anger, hold stuff inside rather than confronting others.

 

Anytime we feel rejected, even as a child, there is a part of us that is really pissed off. We get angry when we are rejected but, many times because the hurt is so big we want to figure it out. The mind can’t figure out why a parent would ever reject us. No child can figure it out. A child can’t work through the understanding that a parent has their own issues. So we end up resenting the people who reject us.

 

Energetically if you walk around as a wounded child who was rejected it will be hard to pull in a person or match who fully sees you. But, by taking your power back, it will open up space in your life. When you have resentments in your heart it is hard for people to get in. They don’t want to be someone else you resent. Carrying around resentments can push people away.

 

As long as there is a part of you who hasn’t forgiven your family of origin, for being rejected, you will feel resentment. Forgiveness is not condoning, it is letting go of the judgment.

 

Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I’ll choose the winner in the first week of August.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you ever feel rejected? And, no matter what you do you can’t seem to get over the pattern of rejection?
  • How are you with anger? Are you someone who can handle sadness but when it comes to anger, that’s a different story?
  • Do you ever feel people don’t choose you because of who you are and you constantly try to be someone you are not?
  •  Do you ever feel like you’re rejected because other people feel jealous of you?

 

Claudia’s Question:

Claudia feels rejected when people are afraid to get close to her and jealous of her.

 

Claudia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She recently went through a breakup.
  • She says men are attracted to her energy but afraid of her leadership.
  • She feels women are jealous of her.
  • She feels rejected.
  • She repeats patterns of not being enough and not feeling seen.
  • She retreats rather than confronting others.
  • A family member rejected her.
  • She feels sadness more than anger.
  • She tried very hard to be seen as a child.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Find people who are in alignment with her.
  • Deal with the anger she feels about being rejected.
  • Forgive herself for the beliefs that perpetuate the lens of rejection and resentment.
  • Do not make herself wrong or dim her light.
  • Give little Claudia a voice and allow her to be mad or angry.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you deal with resentment, look at where you feel sad and rejected.
  • If you deal with a lot of rejection, look at where you may feel resentful.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jul 17, 2021

Steven Kessler has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 30 years, teaching both locally and internationally. He is a certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Expert and Trainer, and is the bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and communicating with them effectively. More information and descriptions of the patterns are available at www.The5PersonalityPatterns.com. Steven loves teaching and helping people grow. He can be reached at Steven@The5PersonalityPatterns.com

Jul 14, 2021

This episode is about acquiring a healthy relationship between giving and receiving. Today’s caller, Carrisa, gives to everyone except herself. We talk through ways she can fill her cup before helping others, how to shed the imposter syndrome, and the importance of committing to her inner child.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode305]

 

We cannot give and give and then expect to feel great. It is beautiful to help people but from a full cup. Otherwise, we deplete ourselves and try to make ourselves feel better through others. It does not work. Anyone who gives and gives and gives to others but does not give to themselves will not feel worthy. People-pleasers, over-givers, and martyrs never feel worthy because they give so much.

 

You have to be able to receive from yourself and others to feel worthy. You can help and give but you need to be supported as well.

 

When you have healthy boundaries, a lot of support, and are checking in with your inner child you can help and serve others from a full cup. You won’t feel like an imposter because you will be practicing what you preach.

 

Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I’ll choose the winner in the first week of August.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you have resistance or laziness that comes out when it comes to doing things that are just for you or doing things that are outside the realm of your normal day-to-day activities?
  • Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel seen?
  • Do you often dread doing something because you’re afraid you’re going to disappoint other people?
  • When it comes to serving others, are you doing it because it makes you feel good or because that’s the way you love yourself?

 

Carrisa’s Question:

Carrisa is uncertain of whether her feelings are intuition or conditioning and why she feels resistance.

 

Carrisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She worries about affecting the people around her.
  • She is a people-pleaser with hints of a savior complex.
  • Her childhood home was chaotic and she felt invisible as the 6th child of 7 children.
  • She judges herself for being lazy and being resistant.
  • She tends to go with the flow.
  • She understands herself but puts herself last.
  • She feels complacent in her marriage.
  • She hasn’t taken a lot of time for herself.
  • She wants to integrate her passion into her massage therapy work.
  • She feels like an imposter when it comes to coaching.
  • She is imbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Be her own client and keep an observation journal about her boundaries and her decisions.
  • Listen to her alarm systems and check in with little Carrisa.
  • Color with little Carissa 15-minutes a day.
  • Have conscious conversations with her husband about co-parenting.
  • Stop trying to heal herself by helping others.

 

Takeaways:

  • Become your own client. Instead of judging and analyzing yourself, observe yourself neutrally.
  • Connect with your inner child and make them a commitment in your life.
  • Stop people-pleasing and make yourself a priority.

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jul 10, 2021

If you have struggled this past year (or really ever), you are going to love this episode. Speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen joins Christine for a vulnerable and inspiring conversation on mental health and healing trauma.  Andrea is creating a global impact in women’s empowerment with her books being translated into 18 languages and available in 22 countries.

She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, and master resilience.

Her latest book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength is coming in August 2021. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

Jul 7, 2021

This episode is about cutting ties with a toxic family member. Today’s caller, Alison, continues to relive the cycle of abuse she received from her mother. There is a part of her that believes her mother will one day change and give her the love she desires. If you have someone you are considering ending a relationship with, you will get great value from this session. If this particular circumstance doesn’t apply to you, you can probably relate to a situation where you want to do something but guilt and obligation are keeping you from making a self-honoring decision.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode304]

 

Just because someone is related to you, even a parent, doesn’t give them the right to be in your life.

 

When we are the parentified child it is confusing in the psyche and that is why there is a lot of guilt and obligation. Because as a parent, you can’t imagine abandoning your child. You would still love your child no matter what happened. That is the appropriate order of things. We are not supposed to be a parent to our parents.

 

So, when it comes to cutting ties with a family member it is tricky. It is difficult because we are in role reversal. Much of the guilt comes from being the parental figure to our parents which makes it hard to cut them off. This is not a healthy dynamic.

 

What I have learned about boundaries, family, and having a healthy life is that continuing to be in a relationship with someone, even our mother, who is abusive, volatile, or who cannot respect boundaries, just because they are a family member out of guilt and obligation is not love. Sometimes it is cutting ties with someone that may be the catalyst for them to wake up and do their own work.

 

Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I’ll choose the winner in the first week of August.

 

I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Is there someone in your life who does not deserve it and it is not healthy to have them in your life anymore?
  • Are you often the peacemaker in the family or other relationships?
  • Are you still living in a fantasy of what you wish your parents or someone in your life could be when you need to grieve what they are?
  • Do you love yourself and your family enough to put firm, healthy boundaries around you so you can break generational patterns and trauma?

 

Alison’s Question:

Alison wants guidance about how to have an adult relationship with her abusive mother.

 

Alison’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She had a traumatic childhood.
  • She has difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
  • She was the caregiver in the relationship with her mother.
  • She has a seven-year-old son.
  • Her grandmother was an important part of her life.
  • Her mother’s boyfriend was verbally abusive.
  • Her mother never stood up for her.
  • Her son has very little contact with her mother.
  • Her son triggers her childhood memories.
  • She worries that she will lose other family relationships if she cuts ties with her mother.
  • She is betraying her needs and her inner child.
  • Her mother doesn’t want her to change.
  • Her inner child thinks her mother will one day change.
  • She is the peacemaker in the family.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have a clarifying conversation with her brother and grandfather about her decision to break ties.
  • Stop justifying her mother’s behavior.
  • Find peace within herself.

 

Takeaways:

  • Ask yourself where you may be in a relationship out of guilt and obligation?
  • Where are you the peacemaker when you don’t have peace?
  • What ties do you need to cut?
  • Why do you protect someone else’s feelings more than the energy of your inner child?
  • You deserve healthy boundaries.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jul 3, 2021
Dr. Shefali is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. She has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, bringing together the best of both worlds for her clients. She has written five books, three of which are New York Times best-sellers, including her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. Her newest book is Radical Awakening
 
Oprah has endorsed her work as revolutionary and life-changing. Dr. Shefali’s ground-breaking approach to mindful living sets her apart as a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology.

As an international speaker, she speaks at events around the globe, spreading her message of conscious parenting and mindful living. She also has a private practice where she consults with families and couples.
 
You can learn more here:  https://www.drshefali.com/
Jun 30, 2021

This episode is about speaking our needs in relationships. Today’s caller, Shelly, is great about articulating her needs in some aspects of her life but when it comes to matters of the heart, she suffocates herself. We discuss how clarifying questions can be self-honoring and relieve her anxiety.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode303]

 

Not knowing where we stand in a relationship is like pulling off the Band-Aid slowly. A slow painful rip off the heart. Whereas articulating our needs and having a clarifying conversation may be like ripping the Band-Aid off fast but it is better than the slow burn of hurt.

 

Put yourself in a place of empowerment. When we give our power away and just wait for someone else to tell us where we stand. It produces anxiety. It is like sitting in the back seat of a car while someone else is driving. You don’t know where you are going. You can’t control the speed limit. You are just sitting there hoping it turns out okay. It feels terrible to experience so much anxiety. When we clarify our needs to someone, even if it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to, at least, we can start the healing process.

 

Needs are not a weak thing to have. It is natural and normal for human beings to have needs. Our needs extend beyond things like survival. We need human connection and we need things in relationships. It is not needy to speak your needs. It doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t make you codependent.

 

We get fooled into believing that someone not rejecting us, or someone not judging us is better than not making self-honoring choices for ourselves.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Are you silencing yourself in relationships?
  • Are you getting your needs met?
  • Do you even know what your needs are?
  • Are you afraid to articulate your needs for fear of judgment, loss, or rejection?
  • Are you good at speaking up in some aspects of your life, but not so great at speaking up in others?

 

Shelly’s Question:

Shelly has been dating online and would like guidance on how to handle ghosting and being disrespected.

 

Shelly’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has cerebral palsy and uses a walker.
  • Her past dating experiences include being ghosted.
  • She feels abandoned and doesn’t get closure in relationships.
  • She wants to be an advocate for others with disabilities who are dating.
  • She gets anxious when someone doesn’t respond to messages.
  • She is able to articulate her needs except for when it comes to relationships.
  • She would rather have the truth than uncertainty.
  • She overthinks situations.
  • She gets nervous about meeting people for the first time.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have a clarifying conversation with her current boyfriend to fully articulate her needs.
  • Write a letter to the guy from college she doesn’t intend to send.
  • Go out do something she loves and meet someone who sees her and her walker.
  • Lean into her gift of speaking her needs and stand in her power.

 

Takeaways:

  • Make a list of all the relationships in your life. Look at where certain needs aren’t being met and make yourself accountable for having a clarifying conversation.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jun 26, 2021

You are probably someone who has done a lot of work on yourself. You've read the "self-help" books, you listen to podcasts like this one, maybe you have a therapist or coach or have attended workshops.  You have a LOT of awareness and have grown so much which is AWESOME.  And . . . there may be some ways that the industry of personal development is not supporting you and this episode addresses some of those ways.

Jun 23, 2021

This episode is about the parts of ourselves we develop to meet our needs and protect ourselves. Today’s caller, Emily, didn’t have her needs met as a child and her protective strategies are still active in her life. We work through the understanding that even things we may not like about ourselves, or get frustrated by, are things that have positive intentions and are trying to help us.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode302]

 

We all can be hard on ourselves, especially those of us who have a lot of awareness and have been doing personal development and healing work. Sometimes we get frustrated with ourselves and find ourselves doing things we think we should know better than to do. Or, we know the reason we are doing something but we can’t seem to change it and we judge ourselves.

 

We have different parts of ourselves that develop over time to protect us and meet our needs. It’s important to be compassionate with these parts, welcome them, and seek to understand them, rather than shame them. That’s when we start making progress.

 

Compassion and acceptance are absolutely necessary if we want change. So often we go after change by being hard on ourselves, by being judgmental, by being critical or too analytical and we don’t love the parts that are hard to change. But, when we love, accept, and seek to understand them we release their influence over us.

 

I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to  ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Are there habits you have or ways you act that frustrate you? You don’t like them, you judge them, and you want to change them.
  • Did you grow up feeling wanted and really seen?
  • Does it matter to you to matter in the world? Do you want to be relevant and sometimes question if you are relevant?
  • Even if you logically know you are worthy, do you sometimes deep down, or maybe not even that deep down question your worth?

 

Emily’s Question:

Emily is looking for guidance on how to break the habit of feeling unworthy.

 

Emily’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She keeps a mood log.
  • She is defensive, even over small things.
  • She expects people to treat her poorly.
  • She feels irrelevant and unworthy.
  • As a child, she didn’t feel wanted or seen by her parents.
  • She felt she was taking up space with all of her emotions.
  • Her sensitivities are a gift.
  • She’s a people pleaser.
  • It calms her to ask for help and support.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Learn how to nurture and care for her needs.
  • Promise herself to ask for more of what she needs.
  • Become aware of when she is defensive and thank it for helping her be seen.

 

Takeaways:

  • Be curious about your “parts” and behaviors that have positive intentions.
  • Consider how you can get the positive intentions in a different way.
  • Compassion and curiosity are your superpowers.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jun 19, 2021

Sometimes the experience of loneliness can feel so painful that connection seems almost impossible.  If that feels true for you, here is a four-step process you can use to support yourself in relieving feeling lonely.

Jun 16, 2021

This episode is about changing your role in a chaotic family. Today’s caller, Julia, is a highly sensitive person with amazing gifts. She is at a choice point about how she wants to use them. She is looking for permission to pursue her life through authentic expression. Many relate to the feeling of conflict between familial obligations and pursuing your soul’s journey.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode301]

 

Ultimately, we do not know why our souls choose our families. But, we often come into families and family systems to break generational patterns. And, many of us experience family conflict if we are here to break generational patterns. Part of our soul’s journey is to not repeat the patterns. But, it is tricky because there’s an inner child piece that still wants to be loved and accepted by the family. It can be hard because we love the family and it feels like a betrayal to go and do our own thing.

 

One of the biggest gifts we can give our families is to embody and demonstrate what healthy looks like or what breaking patterns looks like. Not playing a role in the family can give other members a chance to get out of their roles. From the outside, breaking generational patterns can appear as mean or selfish. But, what we do allows everyone else the freedom to change their roles. We teach the most through our actions.

 

If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven’t done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live and you will have this course for life.

 

Interested in a Breathwork and Meditation Course, including anger release? Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Are you a highly sensitive person or empath? Did you grow up in a house where you didn’t feel understood?
  • Did you grow up around a lot of chaos?
  • Is there a lot of family, social, or work drama where you tend to be the anchor? Do you calm everyone down but then feel drained?
  • Is there something you want to pursue but you feel you would be betraying people if you follow your soul’s calling?

 

Julia’s Question:

Julia feels she can’t escape her family’s chaos and would like guidance on how to grow in life without allowing her family drama to hold her back.

 

Julia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a highly sensitive person who is part of a chaotic family.
  • Her father was physically abusive.
  • Her mother suffered from panic attacks.
  • Her older sister has bipolar disorder.
  • She feels caught up in her family’s drama.
  • She is pursuing acting opportunities.
  • She is in a relationship and considering having a family but doesn’t want to pass on a generational pattern.
  • She has a desire to be creative.
  • She feels like a crutch for her sister.
  • Taking care of her family is not her calling.
  • She is resilient.
  • She dishonors herself when she gets caught up in the family drama.
  • She wants to channel her energy in more productive ways.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Prioritize herself.
  • Process her feelings.
  • Pursue her life through creativity.
  • Tell little Julia her family is not her responsibility.
  • Set boundaries to protect her energy.

 

Takeaways:

  • Do you relate to being a highly sensitive person and the gifts that come with it? Are you allowing your energy to be depleted or do you use your gift in a generative way?
  • Are you in a situation where you take over responsibility for your family and you are in a conflict between what the inner child and soul want?
  • Consider the generational patterns you are breaking in your family.
  • Do not come from guilt and obligation when interacting with your family.

 

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — When was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or sleepwear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite bra from the limited edition summer style collection and vacation-ready designs. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jun 12, 2021
I got so much incredible feedback on the last CC we did on boundaries that I wanted to bring on another amazing, super informative expert.  Nedra Glover Tawwab joins me today who is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, has practiced relationship therapy for twelve years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice Kaleidoscope Counseling. She has been recently featured in TheNew York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Don't Keep Your Day Job, Do theThing, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte,North Carolina, with her family.
 
Her new book is Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
Jun 9, 2021

This episode is about releasing addictive patterns by remembering the love within us. Today’s caller, Linda, recently ended an on-again-off-again two-year relationship. She questions which wounds are causing her patterns. We discuss her soul’s journey, how she is not broken, and how she can help herself feel safe, seen, and loved.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode300]

 

It is often unresolved issues from our past hurts, wounds, and things that were hard to go through that impacted our beliefs, attachment style, trauma response, and psyche. However, it is important not to see ourselves as wounded or broken. Personal development is best addressed as a learning opportunity, not from a fix-it mindset.

 

When we don’t have a great model for love and when we feel worthless, relationships, even unhealthy ones, are going to be addictive. Because, often, we confuse love for something familiar.

 

Even if you are an addict or have been in the past it doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress. Just the fact you’re listening to this show and this kind of information, means you are a seeker. You want out of the addiction, patterns, bad relationships, and the scarcity mentality. It can be frustrating if you feel you have a long way to go but acknowledge the wisdom of your soul for at least getting you to where you are now.

 

You will get farther if you continue to be proud of yourself for where you are.

 

If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven’t done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Are you still in a relationship or not quite over a relationship you were in and out of, that on some level you know wasn’t good for you but you just can't seem to let go?
  • Did you have an absentee parent or parents or caregivers who didn’t give you the security and safety every child truly deserves?
  • Are you learning how to love yourself and think that maybe you have forgotten?
  • Are you trying to figure out what wound in your life is creating some of the undesirable events?

 

Linda’s Question:

Linda has been in an on-and-off relationship and would like to know which childhood wound is creating this pattern.

 

Linda’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She recently ended an on-and-off two-year relationship.
  • She feels she lost herself in the relationship but is attached and addicted to it.
  • She was critical of herself as a child.
  • Her parents divorced when she was three and she lived with her grandparents.
  • She was bullied for many years as a child.
  • She feels safe hiding and not being seen.
  • She would like to feel loved.
  • She goes back to the relationship because of shared interests.
  • She wants to spend time on her own and remember how to love herself.
  • She has feelings of abandonment and rejection.
  • She needs to feel seen and that someone is there for her.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to remember how much she loves herself.
  • Write a list of all the things that did not work in the relationship and read it when she feels like reaching out to him.
  • Write a list of the amazing things about herself and read it every day.
  • Turn up the voice of her inner parent to feel safe, seen, and loved.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are in a relationship you feel attached or addicted to and you continually justify it in your head, take off your rose-colored glasses and ask yourself if you have a high tolerance for putting up with crap.
  • Focus on falling back in love with yourself.

 

Sponsor:

STORYWORTH is an online service that helps your Dad, Grandfather, father-in-law, and every father figure in your life share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give your Dad a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Jun 5, 2021
Want to learn how to reduce (even eliminate) things like anxiety, depression, obsessive thinking and stress? Then you are going to love my conversation with Dr. Carolline Leaf. She is a communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist, specializing in cognitive and metacognitive neuropsychology. Since the early 1980s, she has researched the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health and the formation of memory. She was one of the first in her field to study how the brain can change (neuroplasticity) with directed mind input. During her years in clinical practice and her work with thousands of underprivileged teachers and students in her home country of South Africa and in the USA, she developed her theory of how we think, build memory and learn, creating practical guides and tools that have transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of individuals with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), learning disabilities (ADD, ADHD), autism, dementias, and mental ill-health issues like anxiety and depression.  

You can learn more and get her book at: https://drleaf.com/
Jun 2, 2021

This episode is about radical self-acceptance. Today’s caller, Sylvie, has had therapy, done tons of personal development work, and speaks with her inner child but still feels blocked. We discuss ways she can reframe her perception of what her awareness is bringing up and how she can fully accept and love herself and her human experience.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode299]

 

When we have something we criticize, don’t like, or want to change and the way we relate to it is with judgment and shame and guilt, it amplifies it because all of our fears are seeking to be loved. We have the need to be seen and to be loved.

 

When it comes to the parts of ourselves that we judge and shame just pushing through our response to it, our freeze pattern, can re-traumatize us and reinforce wounds. So, instead of pushing through it, bring love to it.

 

We continue to get “negative” or undesirable experiences, not because we are being tested or the universe wants to punish us, but because our soul is always seeking to evolve. It is looking for a new way to respond to the circumstances. Circumstances don’t just stop when we have an awareness about something. When we have an awareness and we know why we are drawing certain things into our lives, we work through it, and then the same thing comes to us again because we need to practice integrating it.

 

If you missed our juicy group call on love, sex, and intimacy last week go to Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays to download it and check out all previous calls for only $20.

 

Join us for our Relationship Course on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. But if you make it live you have an opportunity for live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipcourse. We will discuss aligning values, getting better at fulfilling each other’s needs, and communication tools. Couples and singles are welcome.

 

Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, “Your Heart, Your Life,” I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart  and use the promo code “heart” for a 14-day free trial.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Have you done all the work but feel like things just are not changing?
  • Do you freeze or just feel bolted down when it comes to putting yourself out there and making a request when selling your business?
  • Did you grow up in a home where you weren’t nurtured and loved, especially when you made mistakes?
  • Do you have a very critical judgmental voice inside your head? When you fail or make a mistake do you experience shame and guilt?

 

Sylvie’s Question:

Sylvie fears rejection. She has done personal development work but still feels blocked.

 

Sylvie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been working to heal her traumatic childhood.
  • She has a critical inner judgment.
  • She is proud of her personal transformation.
  • She talks with her inner child.
  • She feels she is on the cusp of a breakthrough.
  • She feels she is not reaching her potential.
  • She is an empath and sees the world differently.
  • She puts a lot of pressure on herself.
  • She is starting her personal chef business but is hesitant to talk about it to others.
  • She didn’t feel safe and nurtured as a child.
  • She needs to feed herself the love she feeds to others.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Move into acceptance and move out of “fix and heal.”
  • Ask what her triggers want her to know.
  • Consider the worst-case scenario and play it out in her mind.
  • Connect and tap into the big “why” of what she is doing.
  • Regulate herself when she feels the “freeze.”

 

Takeaways:

  • When you are in a trauma response such as worry or freeze think about the worst-case scenario and play it out.
  • Bring unconditional love and acceptance to your undesirable feelings.
  • Take an inventory of the personal growth information you are consuming. If something makes you feel shame or somehow inadequate, stop ingesting it.
  • Listen to Episode 297 where I describe how to regulate the nervous system.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



May 29, 2021
My longtime friend Kute Blackson joins me this week to discuss the magic of surrender. Surrender is one of those sexy spiritual words that we often do not truly understand or experience.  Kute shares with us how we can actually surrender and the magic it brings to our lives when we do.
 
Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events. He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.
May 26, 2021

This episode is about how to get your needs met in an intimate relationship. Today’s caller, Shaun, is looking for guidance on how to re-open his heart and rekindle the warmth for his partner whom he loves. We discuss strategies for getting beyond the hurts and moving toward understanding and compassion. We often love the way we need to be loved instead of loving a person the way they need to be loved.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode298]

 

As much as we want love and connection in a relationship, the thing we want even more is not to get hurt or lose our power. Often, we put more energy into avoiding what we don’t want than creating the relationship we do want because that’s what we need to do to survive.

 

Our intimate relationships are often the very fertile ground where we work out any issues from childhood we haven’t quite resolved. If we were criticized a lot in childhood, it can come up in a relationship. If we were anxious or didn’t feel safe, that is going to come up. If there was cheating within our parent’s relationship, that is going to come up. Jealousy, abandonment, all the things we felt as children tend to come up in romantic relationships because romantic relationships are our adult family.

 

Remember, our relationship with our primary family is the intimate relationship that forms the foundation for all future intimate relationships.

 

Whenever we are in an argument, or rut, or tension with our partner, the most important thing that we can do is get to a level of understanding and compassion with ourselves and our partner to understand what the need is that is not being met inside of ourselves. We discover the unmet need that is triggering us and making the situation hard. Then, we look at our needs and then at our partner’s needs and take responsibility for communicating the needs in a clear, specific, non-blaming way.

 

It is important to be clear with our partners about how we need to be loved.

 

Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. But if you make it live you have an opportunity for live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss aligning values, getting better at fulfilling each other’s needs, and communication tools. Couples and singles are welcome.

 

I’ve partnered with Hiitide, which is an online book club and micro-course to help you apply principles from my book, Expectation Hangover, to your daily life. Turn the book into action. Get 28-days of easily digestible prompts and exercises delivered to your phone. A live Q&A session with me is included. The project launches July 1, 2021. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bookclub to learn more. Podcast listeners get 25% off by using the code 'Hangover25' at checkout.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you feel like your heart is not open to your partner?
  • Do you feel like there are things that happen in your relationship you can’t forgive, can’t shift, or can’t get over?
  • Are there issues from your childhood that may be playing out in your relationship?
  • Are you in a dynamic of being avoidant and it produces anxiety in your partner, or vice-a-versa?

 

Shaun’s Question:

Shaun would like guidance on how to re-open his heart to his partner.

 

Shaun’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He has been in his relationship for nearly five years.
  • He doesn’t feel the closeness he once felt.
  • He loves his partner.
  • Both partners get triggered during arguments.
  • He was bullied as a child and felt attacked.
  • His dad wasn’t around as much as he would have liked.
  • His parent’s marriage was passionless.
  • The dynamic in his partner’s family was competitive.
  • He tends to dissociate during arguments.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Ask his partner what she needs.
  • Set his partner up to win.
  • Attend our upcoming relationship retreat.
  • Have a ‘needs’ conversation with his partner.
  • Get specific about how he wants his needs met.
  • Make his relationship his top priority.

 

Takeaways:

  • When triggered in a relationship, consider what needs are not being met. 
  • Make your current or future relationship a priority.
  • Join us for our relationship retreat June 11-13, 2021.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



May 22, 2021
Today Asterian Astrologer Jade Luna joins me again to discuss how the stars predicted this time we are in, what we can learn from it and how we can move forward. Jade and I speak about what life is really about and what the most important things that each and every one of us can do right now to live our most aligned and true lives.
 
Jade S. Luna is the first Westerner ever to reconstruct Jyotish (Hindu Astrology) into a Greco-Roman format. Jade has traveled extensively around the planet, lecturing and conducting workshops on Astrology and Ancient Roman-Greco mysticism. He has traveled to India more than 30 times and spent a great deal of time with various teachers, Saints and Sadhu’s in Asia.

Jade also consults with people privately. He usually presents a few seminars each year at various locations world wide. He is the author of Asterian Astrology and has been one of the most successful Astrologers in the world and has maintained a high level practice for over 18 years.

You can learn more or book a session with him here: http://www.asterianastrology.com
May 19, 2021

This episode is about regulating the nervous system and dealing with past pains. Today’s caller, Lara, is looking for guidance on how to cultivate a sense of safety and security. We work through a body practice to regulate her nervous system and bring her into calm.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode297]

 

Feeling safety and security isn’t a mental thing. They have to be felt in the body. When we feel safe and secure, the nervous system relaxes, the body gets out of our survival brain and it comes into a rest-and-digest stage where the nervous system can regulate.

 

With a dysregulated nervous system you cannot shift it by talking, analyzing, or awareness. It becomes frustrating because you can see your anxiety and you understand why it is there and explain your reasons for having anxiety. But, just being able to explain something doesn’t change it. The healing or the fixing of it becomes another obsession. What it comes down to is the creation of safety and security. We are always trying to get back to feeling safe and secure.

 

The human body and the nervous system are very resilient, as is the human spirit, but we cannot shift and change when we think we are broken. We need to have compassion for ourselves and one of our most valuable inner resources is our ability to ask for help.

 

Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome.

 

Tuesday, June 1 at 5 pm (PT) I will host another group coaching call for only $20. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/group.

 

Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, “Your Heart, Your Life,” I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart  and use the promo code “heart” for a 14-day free trial.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you constantly feel anxious or deal with obsessive thoughts?
  • Have you outsourced your worth or your sense of safety? Are you looking for it in your achievements, a relationship, or even your appearance?
  • Do you crave to be in a relationship, then when you get in them, they’re not healthy?
  • Do you have trouble regulating your nervous system and bringing yourself into a calm?

 

Lara’s Question:

Lara would like to know how she can cultivate a sense of trust and safety and guidance on how to stop filling her void with external things or men.

 

Lara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She does not feel worthy or good enough.
  • She struggles with binge eating.
  • She tries to outsource her worth through her appearance, men, or achievements.
  • She has had manic episodes.
  • She craves being in relationships and wants to be saved.
  • She over-analyzes everything she does.
  • She feels stuck.
  • She has a sharp mind and a lot of self-awareness.
  • She grew up with inconsistency and chaos in her childhood.
  • Her mother was not there for her as a child.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Recognize when her nervous system is dysregulated and greet it with compassion.
  • Put her hands on her belly and chest and then breathe deep and make a “VUUU” sound.
  • Hold a stuffed animal and rock back and forth to soothe herself.
  • Give herself the parenting and the developmental stages she didn’t get.
  • Go to the people and sources that give her motherly love.

 

Takeaways:

  • Consider the indicators when you go into survival mode then recognize and accept them.
  • Have compassion for yourself.
  • Move into a source of regulation such as breathing, holding a stuffed animal, rocking, etc.
  • Stop trying to shift a dysregulated nervous system with your mind.
  • Remember, nothing is broken or wrong about you.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



May 12, 2021

This episode is about having difficult conversations with our parents. Today’s caller, Max, is trying to avoid being triggered when he speaks to his father. We discuss how Max can ease the impact on his inner child and not experience an expectation hangover.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode296]

 

If a parent or someone we love opens the door to have a conversation we want to run right through and share everything we have been wanting to say for the last 20 years. The other person may feel bombarded and not be ready to hear everything we have to say in one conversation.

 

If you are offered an open door with someone who has been closed for a very long time, do not rush through it thinking it is a green light to speak about everything you have been holding in for decades. Sometimes we need triggering events to create momentum and shifts in a relationship. It is better to approach the situation slowly.

 

*Coaches — this is where you want to be mindful with your clients. For someone who has a triggering relationship, if they have an opportunity like that you want to support them and guide them through walking through the door slowly. Coach them toward taking baby steps so they don’t end up with a massive expectation hangover.

 

Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Do you have patterns of escapism?
  • Is there a parent whose love you are seeking? Do you seek out their love in unhealthy ways?
  • Have you always felt like one or both of your parents don’t understand you?
  • Do you feel so different from your family you don’t know if you will ever fit in?

 

Max’s Question:

Max would like advice on how to keep himself grounded when he speaks with his father.

 

Max’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He was disloyal in his relationship.
  • He knew avoidance issues were a pattern throughout his life.
  • Love and sex are separate for him.
  • He is the oldest of six children.
  • His childhood family was emotionally suppressive.
  • His father struggled with alcohol abuse and infidelity.
  • His biological mother abandoned him.
  • He then escaped to Mother’s house later in life.
  • He does a lot of personal growth work.
  • He has opposing views from his family about current events.
  • He wants a compassionate embrace from his father.
  • He wants to escape when he feels overwhelmed.
  • He is learning to set boundaries.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Set an intention of having his father get to know him better.
  • Figure out what little Max needs.
  • Approach his relationships slowly, in a way that does not shock his inner child.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are going to have a conversation with someone who has opened a door, write out some questions or comments. Go into those kinds of conversations prepared so your nervous system doesn’t go into overdrive. 
  • When making a big decision, check in with your inner child and do not push yourself. Taking baby steps can be powerful.

 

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — Ladies, when was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or loungewear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



May 8, 2021

If you are someone who prides themselves on "being strong" and not great at asking for support, this episode is for you!. Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership) -- is the host of the Support is Sexy podcast featuring interviews with more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs, and founder of SiS.Academy -- an online learning platform for Black Women entrepreneurs.

May 5, 2021

This episode is about healing trauma. Today’s caller, Anne, is a musician who wants to expand her creative expression but feels blocked due to the sexual abuse she experienced. She has done a lot of personal development work but still has difficulty fully expressing herself. She wants guidance on how to navigate through her trauma to heal it.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode295]

 

Trauma impacts and/or injures the nervous system. When a person experiences extreme trauma the brain goes into survival, which means fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The brain is always on the lookout for danger and it is exhausting. That is why we experience fear and anxiety.

 

I can’t label what “extreme” is because two people can have the same situation happen to them and one person may register in their nervous system as not that big of a deal, but another person with the same circumstances can register it as a really big deal.

 

When we are healing trauma it is not about reliving it. It is about providing space for somatic emotional release and working with a person to regulate their nervous system. It is about coming out of the survival brain and moving back into the “rest and digest” part of the nervous system, moving from the sympathetic nervous system which is on alert, and into the parasympathetic nervous system.

 

The personal development/self-help world can be misleading, perhaps even damaging, for people that have experienced extensive trauma like rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, racial trauma, etc. Often, there’s an expectation or ethos in the personal development industry that you just need to shift your mindset about something and find the lesson of it. Or, that challenging experiences make you stronger or you can meditate your way through anything. It leaves a lot of people feeling like they are failing at personal development.

 

Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome.

 

Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, "Your Heart, Your Life" I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart  and use promo code “heart” for a 14-day free trial.

 

Anne’s Question:

Anne has been trying to heal trauma from sexual abuse and rape and would like guidance on how to navigate through it to shift it.

 

Anne’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She experienced sexual abuse.
  • She is a musician.
  • She has depression and feels blocked.
  • She feels she cannot fully express herself.
  • She has done energy work and spoken to counselors.
  • She has done the temper tantrum technique.
  • She is having a biologically correct response to what is happening.
  • She has had bad experiences with the medical system.
  • She trusts her intuition but not her decision-making process.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Give herself grace and understanding.
  • Trust that she still has her innocence, expression, femininity, and sexuality.
  • Acknowledge the progress she has made.
  • Work with a trauma-trained therapist to help her regulate her nervous system.
  • Nurture her creativeness and passion.
  • Do not push through her fear.
  • Have faith and trust her intuition to align with the right person to help.
  • Realize she has been through a high level of trauma and she deserves a high level of support.

 

Takeaways:

  • Look at the things you have bought into in the personal development world. Are there things that feel more motivational? Could they be hurting more than helping?
  • Is it time to normalize the biologically correct behavior you're experiencing to find the right specialist to help you with it?
  • Consider where you have trust issues. Find something to put your trust into even if it is your intuition.
  • Be open to receiving support. Put it out there verbally and energetically.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

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May 1, 2021

Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Julie offers essential resources for educating, inspiring, and empowering HSPs. Register for her free Masterclasses, take the Sensitivity Quiz and profoundly transform your life in her courses and community. Her HSPs in Business Group is designed to support and empower sensitive people to grow heart-centered businesses, share their voices, and be part of the change the world needs.JulieBjelland.com

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