This call is about transforming shame, celebrating your gifts, and sharing them with others. Today’s caller, Melissa, is building a health coaching business and wants to embrace her purpose whole-heartedly but is holding back her light because of self-judgment and shame. We discuss things she can do to focus her energy on getting the things she wants from life as she serves others with her personal experience.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode259]

Many people feel physical shame in some way. It can cause us to wear masks and deprive us of joy and self-expression. And, usually the thing we are most self-conscious about people don't even notice or think about as much as we do. If they do notice, they often don’t evaluate us because of it. I’ve never formed an opinion on someone because of their physical characteristics, and honestly, if someone does form an opinion about you because of something completely superficial, do you really want that person in your life?

Why are you fighting for approval from people you don’t really like? We give our power away when we seek the approval of others.

We can be too judgmental of other people, mostly because we are too judgmental of ourselves. If you want to put yourself out there in whatever way you feel called to do it, please do. You are needed. We need more people who have the consciousness of light and love being loud in the world. Too many people have loud voices that shouldn’t have a microphone. So, get your voice out there.

Stop letting fear of rejection and fear of judgment hold you back. Not everyone is going to like you and it is okay. You’re depriving the people who do resonate with you the connection and service you have to offer. Think about the magic you can create by not avoiding the people that may not like you or reject you and focus on compassionately serving others.

Stop falling into the avoidance trap and step into your love and light.

Are you ready to take your personal development to the next level and invest in yourself? Would an ally and a guide be helpful to you during this time? If so, I have two one-on-one coaching spots available. This type of deep work has incredible ripple effects in all areas of your life. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information.

This is a trying time emotionally, mentally, and financially, so in August, I am giving away $5,000 in personal development grant money. Ten people will receive $500 to invest in themselves. Go to ChristineHassler.com/grant to fill out the application. I will announce the grant recipients on an Instagram Live.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you think that you have to be perfect or at a certain point before you really go after your dreams and what you want?
• Do you carry around shame?
• Do you feel a calling to do something, be it starting a business, applying for a new job, or dating again but are scared to do it because you’re afraid of judgment?
• Has shame robbed you of feeling a sense of belonging? Are you tired of letting shame rob you of what you deeply desire?

Melissa’s Question:

Melissa has a hard time speaking up and would like guidance on how to heal the shame she feels to gain the confidence to put herself out there.

Melissa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She lacks self-confidence.
• She attended the inner child workshop.
• She is building a coaching business.
• She lacked confidence because of a physical trait.
• She feels people may judge her.
• Shame disempowers her.
• She outsources her self-worth.
• She has a limiting belief that she isn’t enough.
• She numbed herself because she felt different from her peers.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Allow herself to be seen without the expectation of perfection.
• Do things that promote living into her purpose and her mission.
• Inspire others with her personal journey.
• Accept herself fully for who she is.

Takeaways:

• Take actions every day that move you into the vibration of who you want to be and what you want to do.
• Turn your shame into compassion and service. Use it to feel compassion for others who are feeling shame.
• Stop giving others power over you. Step into your love and light and make your voice heard.
• Live into your highest truth.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about recognizing the value of your unique gifts. Today’s caller, Tracy, believes she has difficulty being vulnerable and thinks it is holding her business back. But, as we explore her childhood experience, we discover that she is playing out old programming, feeling like she didn’t matter as the youngest sibling in her family. Her fear of rejection may be keeping her from getting what she wants.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode258]

There are parts of us that are just us or the things that make us unique. We may not be as vulnerable as the next person, as funny as the next person, or as creative or outspoken or extroverted as other people are. When we measure ourselves against others it can make us feel like something is wrong with us. 

It can create blind spots or judgments of things we have taken on from society. And one of the things so many of us, especially in this world of personal development, have taken on is the expectation that we need to be vulnerable

to be fully seen.

Vulnerability needs to be earned. Vulnerability is incredible and necessary, however, it’s not something we just give away. It’s OK that it has to be earned. It makes it more authentic.

August 28–30, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety, you will have online access to it for 30 days. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to rescue organizations.

This is a trying time emotionally, mentally, and financially, so in August, I am giving away $5,000 in personal development grant money. Ten people will receive $500 to invest in themselves. Go to ChristineHassler.com/grant to fill out the application. I will announce the grant recipients on an Instagram Live.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have a hard time putting yourself out there when it comes to business, dating, or making friends?
• Do you have a hard time being vulnerable? Are you slow to warm to people or does it take a while for people to get in?
• As a child, did you grow up feeling like you were in the shadow of someone else? Were you a younger sibling who always felt behind in some way or just something that made you feel not enough?
• Are you trying to change something in your present but you can’t make the change?

Tracy’s Question:

Tracy feels stuck and would like guidance on tapping into her vulnerability to take more risks.

Tracy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She keeps people at a distance.
• She would like the confidence to take more risks.
• She fears rejection.
• She felt disregarded by her family.
• Her family is critical and envious of her decisions.
• Her negative self-talk comes from not feeling good enough.
• She is triggered more often as an adult than she was as a child.
• She perpetuates the idea that she doesn’t matter.
• She doesn’t take compliments well.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Change the programming that creates her self-talk.
• Know that she matters.
• Reassure her little girl of her value.
• Reach out and offer to share her gifts with people.

Takeaways:

• Join the Inner Child Workshop.
• Know you have the ability to reparent yourself.
• Write down your limiting beliefs and question why you believe them.
• If you are a coach who wants to build their business, hire a coach, or participate in a program.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about healing trauma that comes from being sexualized as a child. Recent events have triggered today’s caller, Bianca, who was traumatized by her parents as a child. And, even though she was subjected to pitiful parenting, she still wants to love and protect them. We discuss the importance of making her healing a priority and how nothing that happened was her fault.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode257]

People who have been abused, especially by people they love and trust, are usually not quick to jump to anger. They may minimize the evilness of the actions.

So, when we are working with people who have been victims in any way, we have to have compassion for the side of them that loves and wants to protect their abusers. It often takes some time for them to get to anger and to take action because it is a deep and confusing entanglement for the victim.

We have to put ourselves in the victim’s shoes and realize they love these people. We cannot expect them to have the same reaction as we do. They cannot get to the anger and disgust right away because they don’t see their abusers as awful people. If the abusers are their parents, they may still be trying to get love from them.

If you have endured trauma and are ready to heal, know that it is not something you can navigate alone just by listening to a podcast, doing an online workshop, or reading some books about it. It is important to find a trauma-informed therapist.

August 28–30, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have online access to it for 30 days. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to rescue organizations.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Were you raised in what you know or think was an abusive environment but since you have no to very little memories you doubt it or even minimize it?
• Do you have sexual anxiety? Is it hard for you to feel relaxed when it comes to sex or even someone being affectionate, touching you? Do you dissociate from your body? Do you wonder if it’s because something not so right happened to you when you were a kid?
• Has there been someone in your life you love a lot, like a parent who’s also hurt you, and so it’s hard for you to face the pain because you love the person that hurt you and you want to protect them?
• Did what I shared about human trafficking rattle you? Are you feeling called to be involved to save the children from these horrific acts?

Bianca’s Question:

Bianca feels sexual anxiety and would like guidance on how to start healing.

Bianca’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her parents groomed and sexualized her.
• Her father physically abused her.
• She has very few memories of her childhood.
• A recent event triggered her memories.
• She has a high tolerance for hurt.
• She wants to help her parents, not hurt them.
• She hasn’t found a compassionate therapist who makes her feel safe.
• She has a gentle side and a warrior side.
• She still loves her parents but may not be able to forgive them.
• She feels uncomfortable when her significant other is physically affectionate.
• Her body doesn’t know the difference between pain and pleasure.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Find a professional therapist to work with.
• Understand that nothing that happened was her fault.
• Make herself a priority, not her parents.
• Know that there is a way to heal.
• Follow the stories of other survivors.
• Find allies to help her heal.

Takeaways:

• If you are a victim in any way of mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, or sexual abuse, get help. Trauma is not something that heals on its own. It’s not like a cut on your hand that just scabs over. Professional help is a requirement.
• If you were activated by this episode and you want to get involved here are three resources, OurRescue.org, SharedHope.org, and DestinyRescue.org.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Cory Allen is an author, podcast host, meditation teacher, and audio engineer.  He is passionate about how to live better using principles of mindfulness, neuroscience, and philosophy.

We discuss Cory’s journey to meditation and how it is an effective tool for adding coherence, awareness, and compassion to life.

You can learn more from Cory through his book, Now is the Way, and his online meditation course called Release Into Now. He is excellent at teaching people how to meditate with clear and concise methods.

Connect with Cory here: http://www.cory-allen.com/

This call is about how to move feelings, especially if those feelings get stuck as energy in your body. Today’s caller, Luanna, is having difficulty expressing her feelings and vulnerability. This episode demonstrates what it looks like when you actualize recommendations or therapies perfectly but the tension and tightness in your body don’t shift.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode256]

We all give our parents too much power. We make what they said and what they did matter way too much. Remember, our parents are humans, and more importantly, they are wounded inner children who probably didn’t get the parenting they needed. So, if you’re holding on to something your parents did, said, or just their voices in your head, I encourage you to get it out and find your own inner parent.

Anger is not useful when it is in our heads because there is no release for it. If it is hard for you to get angry and use or write angry words, you may be resistant to doing it because you feel like you are betraying the person. If this feels true for you, start by moving energy through sound, movement, and breathwork.

This is a trying time emotionally, mentally, and financially so in August, I am giving away $5,000 in personal development grant money. Ten people will receive $500 to invest in themselves. Go to ChristineHassler.com/grant to fill out the application. I will announce the grant recipients on an Instagram Live.

August 28–30, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have online access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you ever feel like your feelings get stuck or maybe you do, with tension in your belly, tightness in your chest, and no matter what you do just can’t seem to move it?
• Did you grow up thinking or being told that vulnerability was weak, that you had to be strong and you felt like your emotions couldn’t be expressed?
• Do you get in your head a lot? Can you psychoanalyze yourself but when it comes to feeling your feelings you get a little lost?
• Are you someone that can endure a lot but when it comes to letting it go, it isn’t easy?

Luanna’s Question:

Luanna struggles to express her vulnerability. She would like guidance on how to release her emotions and live free of her mother’s control.

Luanna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She feels her energy is stuck in her belly.
• She is starting a business.
• She hears her mother’s voice telling her she is not capable of attaining her dreams.
• As a child, she wanted her mother to let her express her feelings.
• She adopts her mother’s limiting beliefs as her own.
• She isn’t going after what she wants because she doesn’t want to hurt her family.
• It is hard for her to feel anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Give herself permission to be angry and feel her feelings.
• Stop giving her mother power over her life.
• Practice release writing, dancing, or physical exertion to release the energy.
• Find a therapist who practices Somatic Therapy.
• Make a guttural sound with deep breaths to release her anger and sadness.
• Create a safe space for healing.

Takeaways:

• Empower yourself. Stop giving something your parents said or did more energy than it deserves.
• If you have a hard time getting angry because it feels like a betrayal, use movement or sound or do letter writing instead.
• If feelings feel stuck, try a somatic, body-based approach.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

If you’ve been searching for a place to help you simplify your life, declutter your mind, and connect with your heart then you are going to love this conversation. Courtney Carver joins Christine to talk about minimalism. She created Be More with Less and minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 after spending much of her adult life tired, stressed, sick and doing work she didn’t care about to make ends meet. After years of decluttering and letting go, she realized that happiness isn’t waiting for us, it’s within us.

Learn more here: https://bemorewithless.com/