Christine shares about what she calls “expiration dates” in life and gives you guidance on when it’s time to acknowledge that a relationship or situation in your life may be complete. She also clarifies the difference between avoiding facing a challenge and truly knowing something is over.
Today’s caller, Corinna, is deciding whether or not to stay in her marriage. Many of us often struggle with whether to stay or go in a relationship. Sometimes the answer is clear, but often it is not. First, there is the love and the history of a relationship including shared assets, children and pets. Second, there is the uncertainty that goes along with making the decision. Ending any type of relationship is not easy and making the choice to do it is hard. We often look for reasons to blame the other person. We collect evidence against them so our decision to leave is easier. We want to be happy and we think leaving the relationship is the answer. But, just leaving on the energy of blame and rebellion is not enough and does not give the opportunity to learn the lessons the relationship is there to teach us. If we end something out of fear annoyance or blame, we will have to learn the same lesson over again, with someone else. I’ve heard people use the advice that the best way to get over someone is to get over someone else. That’s terrible advice. You only end up using the person you are getting over and once all the hormones wear off, you will be left with the same unresolved stuff you didn’t deal with in the previous relationship. You may then think you keep picking the wrong person, but in reality, the common denominator in the relationship is you. Don’t do a reactionary breakup. Don’t leave because you refuse to take an honest look at your side of the street. Stop resisting the learning and stop blaming the other person. When we feel blocked about making a choice, it’s often because we are not ready to make it. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you currently in a relationship and questioning whether to stay or go? Is there a big decision you are struggling with that you want clarity on? Are there similar patterns that come up in all of your relationships? Have you done self-work that makes you an incredible partner to yourself and consequently to another? Is there something in your life you are missing or not feeling and you are blaming your partner for it? Corinna's Question: Corinna is having issues in her marriage. She feels she is isolating herself and is uncertain about her decision to stay married. Corinna's Key Insights and Aha’s: She already knows what her decision is She limits herself but blames her husband She’s gotten lost in her roles of wife and mother She is scared but relieved to start knowing herself There’s a lot she hasn’t been facing How to get over it and on with it: She should read the book Codependent No More Find a counselor or coach to look at how she can show up differently Give herself permission to not make the decision right now Invest time and energy into her own discovery Turn down the volume of the opinions of others Look at her husband through eyes of observation instead of judgment Assignments and Takeaways: If you are struggling with a decision, put it on hold. Make the choice not to choose. Stop talking about your struggles with other people. Focus on listening to your own inner knowing. If you are in a relationship, look at your partner through eyes of observation instead of judgement. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Lisa Cypers Kamen, M.A. is an applied positive psychology coach, author, documentary filmmaker and radio show host specializing in sustainable wellbeing and lifestyle management. Lisa’s global consulting practice focuses on mission-driven addiction and trauma recovery programming to help clients balance their minds, bodies and emotions resulting in greater overall wellbeing and the transformation of Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) into Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). She is a frequent radio and television guest expert as well as contributor to the Huffington Post, Positively Positive and Inspire Me Today. As the founder of Harvesting Happiness for Heroes, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation, Lisa spearheads stigma-free trauma recovery and post-deployment reintegration services for military personnel and their loved one’s challenged by the invisible wounds of war. www.hh4heroes.org Lisa is also the creator and host of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com When not helping others thrive, she can be found hiking, meditating, indoor cycling, doing yoga, reading, cooking, traveling and spinning tunes on Joy Riding the Coast, her world music radio show on KBUU 97.5 fm-www.radiomalibu.net and occasionally staring out to sea with a huge smile on her face. Lisa resides in southern California with her family surrounded by lots of love and sunshine.
Today’s caller, Frankie is in the midst of her quarter-life crisis. Her life is not going according to her checklist and she is dealing with some Expectation Hangovers. She has defined herself by external things and she’s a bit addicted to control and validation. Control is something we all struggle with. We think we have 100% control over life, but we don’t. We do have choices and dominion but we don’t have total control. Our egos like to have certainty and to have a plan, which is rooted in fear. It is scary not to know what is coming next. If we try to control every aspect of our lives, we often miss out on all the beautiful opportunities the universe has for us. Sometimes the opportunities come in the form of challenges, which are not to punish or test us but to help us grow. During these times it is important that we do not go into victim mode. It is also important that when we go through uncertainty we don’t try to immediately fill up that space with something new. Sometimes we just have to sit in the discomfort of uncertainty to see what it is there for to teach us. If we don’t deal with our Expectation Hangovers they will keep repeating and the same types of disappointments will keep coming up. It’s OK if you don’t have it all figured out. A quarter-life crisis is normal. It is the time when many of us step into our personal life journey. Challenges are what build our grit and character. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you having a quarter-life crisis or an Expectation Hangover? Are things not going according to plan? Do you relate to living off a checklist? If things don’t get checked off are you hard on yourself? Is external achievement and validation important to you? Are there things you say you are surrendered about but you’re not? Are you still trying to make things happen or have you just resigned? Frankie's Question: Frankie would like to know how to move into a place of acceptance about where she is in her life. Frankie's Key Insights and Aha’s: She has a should list and a checklist in her head She has a deep strength within her Her identity comes from what she can achieve She is hard on herself more than she is compassionate Love for her is connected to validation and praise How to get over it and on with it: She should consider who she would be at 49 if her life had no struggles She can pray without asking for something Her self-talk needs to move towards love and acceptance She can delve deeper in her spiritual practice She should update her story about who she is supposed to be Assignments and Takeaways: Listen to my story in my very first Over It and On With It podcast. Process your emotions through release writing and the temper tantrum technique in Expectation Hangover. Pray. Do not pray for things but pray to be shown the way. Be nice to yourself. Ditch your checklist. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover 20 Something 20 Everything @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Brittney Castro, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER, entrepreneur and speaker is the Founder and CEO of Financially Wise Women, a Los Angeles based financial planning firm for women. She specializes in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial women who are passionate about life and want to gain clarity around their money. Brittney’s mission is to help women plan and create the life of their dreams, free from anxiety about money. She is known for her innovative, non-judgmental, compassionate approach to financial planning. Join Brittney for a FREE webinar that’s all about socking away more cash--without giving up that daily latte. Sign up at http://bit.ly/FWWSave I’ll see you there! #FWWSave She has become a well-known financial expert for women of all ages; and land national media recognition from CNN, CNBC, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, CBS, KTLA, Fox 11 News, Glamour, Elle, Marie Claire, Financial Planning Magazine, Investment News, and Registered Rep Magazine and many more. Away from the office, you can find Brittney working out, drinking coffee or a green smoothie, playing at the park with her dog Arya and of course dancing. Sign up to receive your Financially Wise Toolkit jam packed with great tools and resources to help you on your financial journey at www.financiallywisewomen.com. Follow her on twitter at www.twitter.com/brittneycastro
Today’s caller Jenny is self-aware and well-practiced in personal development work but she is not realizing the consistent results she longs for. Her immediate question is situational but as we delve deeper, she realizes this truly is a core issue. I begin this episode with talking about the importance of self-acknowledgment… Are you able to dish out all the praise in the world but when it comes to receiving it you become uncomfortable? Often, we don’t fully take in praise or acknowledgment or we don’t want to feel like we are bragging. Yet, that praise and acknowledgment are what we really want to hear most. So, why is praise from others so hard to accept? It all comes back to our relationship with ourselves and our ability to see what is truly amazing and true about who we are. It also requires a vulnerability to be seen and give ourselves permission to take in the acknowledgment on the energy of self-love and not ego. Receiving praise and love is not indulgent or inflammatory to our ego, it is a gift. If we need it to feel validated or worthy, it reveals that self-acceptance and self-acknowledgement work is in order. I have a feeling that those of you listening could work on flexing your receiving muscle a little more and give yourselves some praise and acknowledgment. Balancing and receiving from a place of love is important. Healing is an application of love to the places inside that hurt. It’s more than positive affirmations and re-framing our beliefs, we must first go to those “ouchy” parts and fill them up with love. Our higher self is always working to get our attention by creating frustration and discomfort. That is why when we spend a lot of energy suppressing our emotions it wears us out. To liberate ourselves emotionally we need to apply love to the places inside that hurt. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you are doing the work and possessing awareness but things aren’t shifting? Is it difficult to speak your truth? Does the phrase “It’s better to be seen, not heard” strike a chord with you? Do you feel stuck in an aspect of your life? Do you beat yourself up over it? Is self-worth or self-doubt something you are currently struggling with in your own life? Jenny's Question: Jenny would like help with understanding what is holding her back and how to overcome her fear of success. She wants to get unstuck. Jenny's Key Insights and Aha’s: It’s mandatory for her to go through these patterns as training for her coaching life. Her upbringing has affected her ability to find her own voice. It’s her job to make herself feel worthy. It feels awesome to be heard free of judgment. How to get over it and on with it: She should move into accepting this is where she needs to be. She needs to change what she believes about herself. She should work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover. She can give herself permission to explore the emotions she has locked up inside. Find a therapist who can work with her on an emotional level. Assignments and Takeaways: Emotionally liberate yourself and apply love to the places inside that hurt. Change your story! Ask for praise and acknowledgment and then take it in. Implement a 40-day practice to create consistency in the area you want it most. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
John Howard is a relationship therapist with over 10 years of experience helping people have awesome relationships. He is the Founder and CEO of Ready Set Love!, an online platform that helps partners learn and grow together. John has trained with some of the top minds in relationship research and therapy such as Drs Stan Tatkin and Dan Siegel. He teaches both public and professional audiences nationally, and helps individuals and couples in his private practice in Austin, Texas. I don't know if you do show notes on your website, but feel free to post the goodies page on social or on your blog if you want: http://readysetlove.com/hassler/
Let’s talk about finding the “one”. You know the magical person who is your soulmate, your other half, the one who completes you. I say these things with a tinge of sarcasm but I don’t inject the sarcasm because I am jaded or don’t believe in love, it’s there because of the misunderstandings regarding soulmates and the pain many of us go through when it comes to romantic relationships. I believe there are lots of “ones” out there for us. My definition of a soulmate is someone who helps our soul to grow. Sometimes it’s through a gut-wrenching break-up, sometimes it’s through dating someone who triggers us and sometimes it’s through someone who just comes in, loves us and holds up a beautiful mirror to remind us of who we truly are. Soulmates can be romantic partners, friends, colleagues and even someone you share a plane ride with once and never see again. So, why are many romantic relationships so painful? 1. The relationships are mirrors which can trigger unresolved issues from our childhood. 2. We often look to a romantic partner to fill our needs that our parents did not meet. This doesn’t attract the best people to us. 3. We may want a relationship so badly to fill our voids or make us feel less alone that we move into a fantasy-based relationship. Today’s call with Michael is a beautiful example of masculine vulnerability and strength. He finds himself dating from a place of pain rather than from love. He wants to move past the feeling that he needs to prove himself to women. Michael’s mother wasn’t really there for him and so he ends up with women who don’t treat him well and who are not really there for him. This is the problem with trying to fill a void left by a parent through dating. We long so badly for the love of a parent that we attract someone just like them, which re-opens our unhealed wounds. We have to bring love and forgiveness to those places inside and fill ourselves with our own loving acceptance. It’s time to let go of our fears about rejection, abandonment and getting hurt. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you longing for a soulmate so much that it is causing you to suffer? Do you keep dating the same person but they have a different face? Could issues from your childhood influence who and how you are dating? Are you in a fantasy based relationship? Could it be time to remove your rose-colored glasses? Michael's Question: Michael wants to know how to move past the pain of a previous relationship and how to know when the person he is dating is the right one. Michael's Key Insights and Aha’s: He is trying to heal a core wound from his childhood through a romantic relationship He is putting a lot of pressure on the women he dates He realizes he keeps running back to fix past relationships He carries fear and his unanswered questions around with him He feels unworthy and feels he needs to prove himself to women His strength is in his vulnerability, his honesty and his courage How to get over it and on with it: He should forgive the misunderstanding that he is unlovable or anything in his past was his fault He needs to re-parent his younger self in a way he always longed for He needs to take a dating hiatus Assignments and Takeaways: Is there a little boy or girl inside of you that has some misunderstandings which really need to be healed? Could it be time to end or transform your fantasy-based or issue-based relationship? Perhaps it’s time for a dating hiatus and taking some time to date yourself. Fall back in love with yourself and realize just how lovable you are. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Life coach. Author. Wife. Mom of 5 and 7 year old. Roller Derby Rebel. Hellraiser. Triathlete. Andrea Owen is passionate about empowering women to value themselves and fiercely love who they are by letting go of perfectionism, control, and isolation and choosing to practice courage instead. She has helped thousands manage their inner-critic to create loving connections and live their most kick-ass life. She is the proud author of 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve, (Adams Media). Learn more about Andrea at http://yourkickasslife.com