Over It And On With It

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CC: Christine & Stef Work Through an Inner Child Trigger 0

Sep 25, 2021

This is an episode NOT to miss. My husband and I get so raw and vulnerable as we talk through something that upset Stef and triggered his inner child. If you want an intimate look at how we work though triggers and comfort our own (and each other's) inner child, be sure to listen. You will learn so much about your relationship with your own inner child as well. We all have a tender, sensitive little one inside who needs us to parent them with love, safety, acceptance and consistency.

If you want to learn more about the virtual retreat we are teaching on healing your inner child, please go here: https://christinehassler.com/innerchild/

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EP 315: Be a Stand For What You Want in Your Life with Sebastian 0

Sep 22, 2021

This episode is about taking a stand for what we value. Today’s caller, Sebastian, is not getting his needs met in his relationship. He is attempting to talk through his issues, but the results are not changing. We discuss ways to get clarification from his partner about what she needs and how he can have his needs met by taking a stand for his values.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode315]

If communication solved every issue in a relationship, we could all just read communication books and have the most amazing relationships, friendships, and parental relationships. Everything would be easy. But, it is not. We need to do the inner work. We play out our childhood stuff in our adult life, especially in relationships.

When a child has emotionally unavailable parents, they learn to tolerate a lot more hurt. When they grow into adults, they may have a pattern of thinking things are better than they truly are in their intimate relationships.

In relationships, friendships, or any kind of intimate relationship, we often love and give in the way we want to be given to and loved, not necessarily the way that person needs or wants it.

We have to be bold when it comes to things like love, our families, our health, our well-being, and what is important to us. We must take a stand for our values.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you find yourself not being a firm stand for what you want in your life?
Do you ever tiptoe around people afraid of upsetting them?
Do you often feel disrespected in conversations or just not heard?
Do you have some codependent patterns and let people walk all over you?
Do you often find yourself with emotionally unavailable or avoidant-type people?

Sebastian’s Question:

Sebastian feels he doesn’t get his needs met in his relationship and would like guidance on how to have a healthier relationship.

Sebastian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

His relationship has ups and downs.
Hurtful things are said between him and his partner.
He and his partner have done couple counseling.
He has a 10-year-old son with his partner.
He feels disrespected by his partner.
He loves his family.
His partner finds it is overwhelming to deal with his emotions.
He is trying to uncover and overcome the relationship issues.
He is codependent.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Get curious about what his partner needs.
Have a conversation about what each other needs emotionally.
Stand in his strong, healthy masculine and ask his partner if she wants the relationship to work.
Step into his power and take a stand for himself and the relationship.

Takeaways:

Take a stand for your values. Be very clear about what you want and where you are going.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: The High Five Habit with Mel Robbins 0

Sep 18, 2021

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode. One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life.

Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide.

Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans’ organizations, and the world’s leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled.

As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time.

There’s nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people’s lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.

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EP 314: Getting Over Loss with Regina 0

Sep 15, 2021

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. Today’s caller, Regina, is a widow who is grieving over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode314]

Loss is an incredibly painful but inevitable part of our life. When it happens it is important we give ourselves time to grieve and not try to be strong and move on right away. But there comes a point in our life when life has to go on.

Whether it is the death of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, we can’t allow loss to suck the life out of us. Otherwise, we end up existing, not truly living. We honor those who transition by continuing to live.

People who deal with expectation hangovers often feel guilty to admit it but they tend to be apathetic to life. The reason for the apathy is the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference or apathy. When we go through something challenging, especially if we are lonely through it, we allow our self-love tank to get so low that we slip into indifference. Without love there is apathy. Getting out of it requires choosing to live, not just to go through the motions; we need something we want to live for.

Give yourself permission to live for and find something that reconnects you back to love.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Have you recently been through a loss and can’t seem to move on?
Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve?
Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently?
Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again?

Regina’s Question:

Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted.

Regina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is approaching retirement.
She is not in the place she thought she would be in her life.
She lives alone.
There is a part of her that doesn’t want to be anymore.
She has regrets about how she raised her children.
She doesn’t believe we get more than one love in our lives.
Her husband was her best friend.
She beats herself up a lot.
She knows if she can create a negative story for herself, she is capable of creating a positive story, too.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Choose to create a future that is enlivening.
Give herself permission to live and allow love in.
Have a loving relationship with herself.
Speak to herself as a loving mother would to a child.
Forgive herself for being mean to herself.
Write out some promises to herself.

Takeaways:

Practice self-love.
Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life.
Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time.
Content that focuses on overcoming regret.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Spirituality and Your Genius Zone with Gay Hendricks 0

Sep 11, 2021

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. fromStanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir ErrolHyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortune through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio andtelevision shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others. His new book, The Genius Zone, was published in June, 2021.

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EP 313: Stop Letting Your Issues Block You From Intimacy with Mike 0

Sep 8, 2021

This episode is about learning the tools to deal with triggers and the avoidant attachment style. This week’s caller, Mike, would like guidance on how to be more open-hearted and vulnerable in his intimate relationships. This session will be of service to those who have an avoidant style and for those who attract Avoidants. We discuss how to understand them and how not to take their actions personally.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode313]

Anything is healable. It doesn’t matter what is in your background, childhood, or past. I’ve seen it over and over again. Does it happen overnight? No. Is it always easy? No. Is it going to change overnight? Healable doesn’t mean we go from having an avoidant attachment style to being totally open-hearted, totally secure, and never having triggers.

Healing is not being perfect, not being free of any triggers but really learning how to work with those triggers, manage those triggers, so that they don’t become roadblocks in our life. Triggers can be alarm systems for growth and not a dead end. Awareness is not enough to heal.

People with an avoidant attachment style are not trying to avoid being close or being in love. They are trying to avoid rejection, hurt, and pain. When we are with an Avoidant, and they pull away or put walls up, it can make us feel as if we have done something wrong. But, we cannot take it personally. If you are with an Avoidant, the best thing you can do when they are triggered is don’t attack them, don’t tell them they are doing anything wrong, then reassure them that you are there and you love them.

On September 14th, Christine and Stefanos will teach a virtual group call at 5 pm PST.

Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8‒10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild.

Mike’s Question:

Mike would like guidance on how to be more open-minded and open-hearted when approaching his relationships.

Mike’s Key Insights and Ahas:

His marriage of 12 years recently ended.
He emotionally shut down in his relationships.
He has an insecure attachment style.
Fear of rejection keeps him from being vulnerable.
He was not loved for being himself as a child.
He is self-aware.
He feels as if his personal development work has stalled.
He does not want to repeat the mistakes of his past.
He is ready to date again.
He has high standards.
He puts walls up to protect himself.
He struggles to be vulnerable.
He feels he can apply the practical guidance.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge himself for the personal development work he is doing.
Start dating again.
Lean into vulnerability.
Accept himself for who he is.
Have compassion for himself and his fear.
It is okay to be scared.

Takeaways:

On the field is the best way to get good at a game. We cannot run from hurt. We have to expose ourselves to triggers so we can integrate and deal with hurt and fear.

Sponsor:

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: How To Get Over The One You Thought Was ‘The One’ 0

Sep 4, 2021

The feeling of being in love is the best. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. And then it ends. And you are not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong. I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief. This Coaches Corner will help!

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EP 312: Stepping Into Your Purpose with Mike 0

Sep 1, 2021

This episode is about stepping into your purpose and fulfilling your dreams. This week’s caller, Mike, thinks his problem is complex, but it’s not. His constant search of products and materials leads him to believe his next steps need to come from outside of himself. We discuss how he may be stalling by continuing to do research instead of listening to his internal inspiration and moving forward.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode312]

Dreams or anything we long for; the dreams we feel in our heart are different from the kinds of dreams we hope will make us feel better about ourselves, or fill a void. Those are ego-based desires. But, listening inside to hear our heartfelt dreams is part of our psychic ability. And, we are all a little psychic or intuitive.

We don’t long for something if we don’t feel that it is coming. If we have a premonition, on some level our dreams are already coming to fruition. We cannot control the exact timing of it. If we feel it and we want it, it may take a week or ten years because it takes time for dreams to evolve.

What stalls a lot of people from really stepping into sharing their gift, or serving people in a greater way, is they think they have to be perfect. To achieve our dreams, we just need to be honest, vulnerable, and committed, not perfect.

We have all the answers inside; we just need to take time to question ourselves and answer.

Consider/Ask Yourself

What heartfelt dreams are calling you forward?
Do you have a sense of what you want to do but are not taking action?
Do you start a lot of projects but do not follow them through to completion?
Are you waiting for some kind of answer or sign from the universe to make a decision?

Mike’s Question:

Mike has a dream of becoming an entrepreneur but he lacks confidence in his decision-making process. He would like to break the cycle of never moving forward.

Mike’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He wants to be an entrepreneur.
He put his dream on hold when his daughter was born.
He is always looking for the next big thing.
He gets easily redirected.
He lacks confidence in his decision-making process.
He is a Preacher and motivator.
He is good at inspiring others.
He wants to make a difference in other people’s lives.
He is in a cycle of frustration.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Let his inspiration drive his next steps.
Let God use him as an instrument.
Write his life experience resume.
Meditate and recognize his unique gifts.
Start with his big vision and work backward.

Takeaways:

Write a life experience resume.
Re-orient towards an internal direction. Listen to your own inner wisdom. Try it for thirty days.
Answer these questions:
- Who am I here to serve?
- What can I offer?
- How can I deliver it?

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services