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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Over It And On With It
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Now displaying: July, 2020
Jul 29, 2020

This call is a deep dive into what causes anger and what lies beneath the surface of anger. As a child, today’s caller, Sean, experienced emotional abuse from his parents. He would like to move past managing his anger and start healing it. Oftentimes, men put on a mask and reject the scared little boy who experienced wounding. And in many ways, little boys are more sensitive and tender than little girls but they are told to hide their feelings.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode255]

 

Men deal with anger in aggressive or passive ways. If anger isn’t dealt with in a healthy way, men either become aggressive and have outbursts such as yelling and throwing things, putting those they love through emotional turmoil. Or, they are super-passive and withdraw. They allow other people, especially women to push them around and emasculate them. Passive anger gets turned inward because they become incredibly self-critical. Anger left unprocessed or anger left unhealed creates incredible self-criticism. We are hard on ourselves when we have unprocessed anger.

 

When we communicate from a wounded place we can be lethal. People can’t hear us because they have to defend themselves.

 

A lot of times when we attempt to avoid sadness, we laugh. We default to humor because our pain is so big that it is hard to feel it. I encourage people to go into the pain on a regular basis and own the anger to break out of the cycle.

 

When we tap into anger it can feel scary. It is important to have someone who can hold a safe space for us.

 

On the last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How is your temper? Do you tend to hold things inside and then, once you reach your breaking point, you snap?
  • Do you often react in an angry or impatient way and you feel scared or hurt people in your life?
  • As a child, did you truly feel like someone held space for your emotions?
  • Are there people in your life, perhaps even your parents, that you cannot forgive, even though intellectually, you know you should?

 

Sean’s Question:

Sean has a sizable amount of anger and would like guidance on how to release it.

 

Sean’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is married with children.
  • He’s grown tired of causing chaos in his home.
  • There was mental and emotional abuse in his childhood home.
  • He had an eating disorder.
  • He judges himself for being angry.
  • He has tried to express his feelings.
  • He has done personal and grief work.
  • He gets triggered when he feels criticized.
  • His current family dynamic reminds him of his childhood.
  • He uses humor as a coping mechanism.
  • He judges his parents.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Acknowledge that it is healthy to have anger.
  • Find a healthy physical release for the anger.
  • Be mindful of using humor as a deflection.
  • Connect with his inner child when he is triggered to anger.
  • Release his feelings with writing.
  • Stop blaming his parents and own his feelings.
  • Give himself unconditional love and acceptance.
  • Discontinue managing his wounds and start healing them.

 

Takeaways:

  • Look at your relationship with anger. Do you relate to being the more outburst aggressive or are you more passive and internalize it?
  • Create a space for you to do the temper tantrum technique. Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for a free download.
  • Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
  • Own those parts of yourself you may not like so much. If you continue to shame, judge, and blame them, they are not going to heal.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.



Jul 25, 2020

Charlene Izere is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She is the founder of 3 brands: Melanin & Money, Wellness Delivered, and Soulful Systems. Through her platforms, she empowers women to live life on their own terms through systems, self-care, and entrepreneurship. 

As a Black woman, carving out her empire out here in these entrepreneurial streets, she knows first hand how disheartening it can be to feel underrepresented, longing for community, and support by women who get it. Her mission? To put money and opportunity in the hands of Black women. 

When Charlene isn’t strategizing with her clients or hosting an event, she enjoys playing video games, collaging, and self-caring.

 

Jul 22, 2020

This call is about reconnecting with an inner child. Today’s caller, Tanya, grew up in an unstable environment and, as a result, second-guesses the choices she makes. She invites people into her life in an effort to get the love she never received as a child but the relationships play out much like her childhood, chaotic and uncertain. We discuss the ways she can reconnect with herself through vulnerability and gratitude.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode254]

 

When you are dating, making friends, or when you are just out in the world, you want authenticity. You don’t want to go on a date with someone or be in a business meeting with someone who is inauthentic. Who wants that? We can expect authenticity. We want someone to be real and we want them to tell us the truth but we have to earn a person’s vulnerability.

 

When someone is vulnerable with us it should feel like actual true intimacy, not like we are special or we are getting an inside look. Be mindful of that. Don’t get seduced by faux vulnerability. There is a lot of seductive vulnerability and fake vulnerability in the world. We can expect and should expect authenticity from people but we must earn their vulnerability.

 

Seductive vulnerability is if you are new in meeting someone or dating someone and they start being super vulnerable, like telling you their deepest darkest secrets and opening up without a lot of trust built between you. It may make you feel special but it is more seductive vulnerability than true vulnerability. True vulnerability comes when you feel safe with another person and you feel seen.

 

The last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What happens when you feel out of control? Do you blame others then blame yourself? What do you do to try to get control back?
  • Do you have a feeling like you’re always doing it wrong, constantly questioning yourself, or constantly feeling like when something goes wrong it’s your fault?
  • Did you grow up in a home where you had a lot of uncertainty?
  • How do you feel about intimacy and true vulnerability? Are you vulnerable in your relationships and have true intimacy with others? Or, are there still some patterns that prevent you from true vulnerability and intimacy?
  • Have you ever been seduced by someone else’s faux vulnerability?

 

Tanya’s Question:

Tanya questions herself and her choices and is asking for guidance about being vulnerable.

 

Tanya’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She blames herself and always feels wrong.
  • There was a lot of uncertainty in her home growing up.
  • She has done a lot of inner child work.
  • She has a history of dating the wrong people.
  • Her mother’s moods controlled her young life.
  • She evaluates other people as above or below her.
  • She evaluates herself through a systematic approach.
  • She constantly tried to figure out how to get her mother’s love.
  • She put up a wall to protect herself.
  • She is seeking connection.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Realize she is not wrong.
  • Learn how to be in a relationship with feelings and vulnerability.
  • Give up dating for a while and work on being in friendships.
  • Be mindful of the difference between authentic vulnerability and charm.
  • Do deep inner child work and reconnect with herself.
  • Recognize the full-body yeses in her life.

 

Takeaways:

  • Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
  • Look at, especially if you're dating and have relationships, at how you are playing out unresolved wounding with either mom or dad in those relationships.
  • Research vulnerability. Brené Brown is a great resource for vulnerability.
  • If you are blaming yourself for something because it’s giving you a false sense of control, be aware of what you are doing and make a list of all the things you are certain of, and then follow that up with a list of all the things you’re grateful for.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.



Jul 18, 2020

Want to learn more about how you are individually designed as a human? Then you're going to love this episode with Erin Claire Jones.  Erin uses Human Design to help thousands of individuals and companies step into their work and their lives as their truest selves and to their highest potential.

Human Design is a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science that sheds light on a person’s energetic makeup, as well as specific tools they can use to live at their happiest, healthiest, highest potential. It doesn’t change who they are; it teaches them who they are. It offers insight into what’s possible, and highlights the significance of understanding and living as the fullest expression of themselves.

Her work as a guide, coach, and speaker has attracted a growing community of over 50,000 people who turn to her teachings for practical tools, digestible tips, and deeper self-knowledge they can access to live with greater ease and authenticity every single day.
 
To get your Blueprint, a personalized guide to your unique design: erinclairejones.com/blueprint
 
The code CHRISTINE will get you 10% off your Blueprint.
Jul 15, 2020

This call is about going all in. Today’s caller, Trevi, is uncomfortable taking risks because she fears she will not live up to her high expectations. I offer her tips about how to remove the obstacles that are getting in the way of her going all-in and stepping fully into her dreams.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode253]

 

Children need their parents and other people to feel proud of them. It isn’t an ego thing. We all need validation. We need the feeling of pride. And, as children, we needed it from mostly our caretakers but if we didn’t get it, it is imperative that we give it to ourselves.

 

You will be amazed when your little one inside, or that part of you that feels insecure, feels pride. Hope and possibility will fill you up. If you want to feel inspired, feel proud first. When you give your inner child what you need they will feel satiated and not hold you back.

 

It’s okay to take risks and it’s okay if you need reinforcement and reassurance before you take the risk. Some of us don’t like risk and a lot of that has to do with our natural tendencies and our childhood. But if we don’t take risks, if we don’t keep trying, then we may never have awesome experiences. Don’t be afraid to try or to be afraid of your future self and your high-expectations.

 

The last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Did you have something you want such as a career, relationship, or a move but you’re scared to go all-in?
  • Are you afraid of your high-expectations because you don’t want to fail?
  • What is your relationship to risk? Do you prefer to play it safe?
  • Do you feel proud of yourself, not just for your accomplishments but for who you are?

 

Trevi’s Question:

Trevi would like guidance on how to transform her career from a corporate job to her dream job of being a yoga teacher and coach.

 

Trevi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is scared of not being able to meet her expectations.
  • She is worried about what other people think.
  • She has high expectations for herself.
  • She feels disappointed when she doesn’t meet her high standards.
  • She chased validation from her parents.
  • She still chases validation from external sources.
  • She talks herself out of things she wants.
  • She is proud of herself for who she is.
  • When she gives her little girl what she needs she feels satiated.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Reparent the part of herself that needs validation.
  • Reassure the little girl inside of her and feel that she is seen and loved.

 

Takeaways:

  • It’s okay to take some risks and it’s okay if you need reinforcement and reassurance before you take the risk.
  • Feel proud of yourself.
  • Write down or say out loud to the mirror ten reasons you are proud of yourself.
  • Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.



Jul 11, 2020

This is MUST listen episode. I've been wanting to bring on an expert to talk about the psychological and emotional issues surrounding racism as well as give guidance to overcome the guilt, shame, and trauma so many people are experiencing. I am thrilled that I found April Dawn Harter who joins me to break down what actually causes and perpetuates racism and how to heal it. April is a former medical social worker, where she provided counseling to her patients and their family members to help them cope with the trauma of medical emergencies in the state of Texas. She later moved to Colorado and started her private practice to serve QTPOC patients with a history of racial trauma. After having worked with QTPOC, she decided to help prevent racism in society by working with white clients as a coach using the Racist Signature Theory. Finally, she opened up the Racism Recovery Center to provide psychotherapy for the treatment of racism. You can learn more here: https://www.racismrecoverycenter.com/

Jul 8, 2020

This call is about doing deep inner child work. Today’s caller, Anna, is being blocked by a defense mechanism and doesn’t feel she is making progress in her personal development work. We talk about how she can come back to love and remove judgment. It is useful to reach out externally for support, however, we have to be our own internal support as well. The help she needs will come from within.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode252]

 

When you feel you are backtracking in your personal development, know that what is really happening is that a trigger is exposing a deeper layer so you can go to a deeper level of healing and love.

 

Our behaviors, coping strategies, and our defense mechanisms are all there to protect us from hurt and confirm our biases. People who have low self-worth and think their value comes from doing will be very critical of themselves and will constantly try to do and create a result.

 

When our ‘come from’ is “I’m broken,” “I hope this fixes me,” or “something is wrong with me,” it slows down our healing because the energy that our personal development is riding on is judgment rather than love.

 

As we learn to meet our own needs and tend to the little one inside of us and make the place inside of us that feels not enough, or not worthy, make it known that our needs ARE valuable and worthy. And, as we realize our needs are valuable and worthy, we then unconsciously train other people about how to meet our needs better and we are able to consciously ask people to meet our needs better.

 

Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified Live retreat in Austin, Sept 24–27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat.

 

The last weekend of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like you're backtracking or not making progress in terms of your personal development?
  • Do you experience great frustration with your life, work, relationships, or where you live?
  • Growing up, did you feel like your needs were met? Did you feel like your parents understood you, saw you, and knew how to meet your needs?
  • When it comes to yourself and your path, do you approach it with love, compassion, and acceptance, or with judgment and frustration?

 

Anna’s Question:

Anna feels that time is passing in her life but she isn’t making any progress; she would like guidance on how to move forward.

 

Anna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels she is not making progress in life.
  • She feels other people judge her.
  • She is unhappy in her work, community, and relationships.
  • Her parents were emotionally unavailable.
  • She gets depressed when she is not accomplishing things.
  • She felt her needs didn’t matter and couldn’t be met.
  • She has consistently searched externally to get her needs met.
  • She helped raise a family member.
  • She feels angry and hurt that her parents weren’t there for her.
  • She has built a wall around her heart.
  • She adopted self-criticism as a defense mechanism.
  • She is not broken.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Realize she is the only one that can meet her needs.
  • Deeply connect with her little girl and feel her feelings.
  • Reflect internally without judgment and support and trust herself.

 

Takeaways:

  • Look at your ‘come from’ in your personal development. Up your self-compassion and talk to that little one inside.
  • Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
  • Think of how you’d be with a child or animal. How would you meet their needs? How would you anticipate their needs? Use this to access how to meet your own needs.
  • Acknowledge your progress.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.



Jul 4, 2020

Remit Sethi is the author of the NYT bestseller “I Will Teach You How to Be Rich” and is known as a financial guru to millions.  He is an expert on teaching how to break through psychological money blocks so you can live a rich life. In this episode Ramit shares some incredible tips for how to get out of panic around money during this stressful time as well as advice for how to lead a “rich” life (and you get to define what “rich” means to you!).

Learn more about Ramit at: https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/

Jul 1, 2020

This call is about personal growth and the effect it may have on a long-term relationship. Today’s caller, Sara, is working through her past trauma and childhood wounds and making a connection with her inner child. But, her relationship with her husband is not shifting. She is wondering if it is a relationship dynamic that will adjust.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode251]

 

Even though the person who is doing more growth work and has more consciousness in a relationship has more responsibility, we can never change anyone through our love. However, if we break the issue-based dynamic we are in with someone then it presents an opportunity for them to break free of their patterns and maybe deal with some of their stuff. Our love cannot save anyone, change anyone, or heal anyone. That is a job we have to do ourselves. We are all 100% responsible for changing, healing, and inspiring ourselves.

 

If we try to get someone to change, we are continuing to involve ourselves in the relational dynamic which perpetuates the unhealthy patterns and childhood wounding. Healing doesn’t come from trying to change another person. It comes from doing your own work within the context of a relationship.

 

Most of our wounding happens in a relationship and most of our wounding can be healed in a relationship.

 

If you are in a relationship and would like a couples coaching call on this podcast go to ChristineHassler.com/couples.

 

Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified Live retreat in Austin, Sept 24–27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat.

 

At the end of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild. If you can’t tune in for the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you still dealing with the pain of a chaotic or traumatic childhood?
  • Have you been doing a lot of personal growth work and now you’re concerned that you may have outgrown your partner?
  • Do you feel your relationship has an expiration date?
  • Do you really want your partner to change and you’re doing everything you can to get him or her to change?

 

Sara’s Question:

Sara is making significant changes in her life and is looking for more intimacy and connection in her relationship.

 

Sara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been making personal development breakthroughs.
  • She is open to change and doing new things.
  • She is looking for connection and intimacy from her relationship.
  • Her husband has a different love language.
  • She needs to feel safe in a relationship.
  • There has been gaslighting in her childhood and marriage.
  • She is in an issue-based relationship.
  • She has an anxious attachment style.
  • She has an emotional addiction of going into Hopeless/Helpless.
  • She is in a soul contract.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Couples coaching is helpful.
  • Take care of little Sara, reassure her,  and give herself what she needs.
  • Love her husband for exactly who he is.
  • Lead her relationship with love.
  • Try interrupting rigid patterns with humor and lightness.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are in a partnership where you are growing but you don’t think your partner is, instead of thinking you need to leave, give it your all unless the relationship is toxic.
  • Talk to the little boy or girl inside of you, ask them what they need, and give it to them.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.



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