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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: December, 2022
Dec 31, 2022

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2022 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week.

Dec 28, 2022

This episode is about getting past the fear and pain of rejection. Today’s caller, Lisa, is triggered when she feels not chosen or rejected by others and would like to know why. Christine connects some powerful dots that may help you connect some dots in your life.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode381]

 

Sometimes we adopt the behavior of a parent we empathize with or a parent we felt sad for. So, when we realize we are tender about something, first, we need to take 100% responsibility for it. Then look at what we need to heal and recognize we need to have self-love and self-care to work with our wounding.

 

Repetitive triggers or sets of feelings that keep coming up over and over again are pointing us toward healing. Like our bodies letting us know we are sick by getting a fever or runny nose. Our repetitive triggers let us know there is an unresolved wound that needs healing.

 

Two important things to remember:

 

When our pain, experience, or our trigger feeling doesn’t really match the reality of what is going on, it always means we are time traveling. It means we always are being reminded of people — usually from our childhood — when our current reaction really doesn’t match the circumstances. Rejection is painful but a lot of times we are not being rejected.

 

And, we can’t just do our inner work and then tolerate behavior that isn’t great. A lot of people fall into the trap of believing it is their wounding and not letting others take responsibility for their actions. As we heal, we learn to ask for what we need, speak our truth, and authentically self-express.

 

Check out Christine’s Reflect and Release 2022 podcast and the Call in the New Year podcast being released the first week of January.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you notice that you almost overreact when you feel rejected or your experience often doesn’t match the reality of what’s going on?
  • When you feel left out or when you feel not chosen, does it just bring up terrible sadness for you?
  • Do you constantly need reassurance that you are chosen, you are loved, and liked?
  • Did your parents go through a divorce when you were a child and it is still impacting you today, and possibly impacting your fear of rejection?

 

Lisa’s Question:

Lisa would like guidance on how to overcome her fear of rejection.

 

Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is triggered when she feels not chosen or left out.
  • Her reactions aren’t in-line with what is happening.
  • Previous relationships may be triggering her.
  • Her parents divorced when she was six.
  • She told her dad she wanted to live with her mom.
  • Her sense of belonging was rattled.
  • She has a sensitivity to rejection.
  • She is never sure what is her fear or what is an infraction.
  • She tests her partner.
  • She modeled her father after not being chosen.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • When she feels triggered, ask herself what her inner child needs, then provide it.
  • Ask her partner and friends to support her.
  • Have a conversation with her partner about the things she would like.
  • Do the Inner Child Workshop.

 

Takeaways:

  • Look at where your pain around rejection may link to a sense of not belonging and how you can give your inner child now what it needed then.

 

  • Consider how you can help heal your fear of rejection by making clear requests of others.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 24, 2022

Ramit Sethi is the NYT best selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich and host of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast where he speaks directly with couples about how to build a better relationship with money and with each other.

Dec 21, 2022

This episode is about honoring lost loved ones and loving our way through grief. Today’s caller, Kate, is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her mother. Christine offers comfort and ways she can feel joy alongside the tears by doing things in a way that honors the beautiful memories of her mother.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode380]

 

In this crazy ride of a life, there are times of unbelievable joy, heart-bursting gratitude, and sometimes heart-wrenching grief. These are all aspects of love. Yet, none of us live forever, and we are all going to lose people we love.

 

Loss is one of the hardest things we encounter in the human experience. We don’t get out of this world without suffering. But, if we see grief and loss as part of love and we can see our grief as an expression of love, then it helps us have the courage to actually feel our way through it.

 

It is helpful to be honest about our feelings and not worry about drowning in them but rather be intentional about welcoming our feelings and know that we have a life preserver and will not drown. We are more likely to drown in feelings we suppress than in feelings we allow.

 

The beautiful and difficult thing about the human experience is that we feel deeply, especially if we’ve shifted ourselves out of patterns of suppression, distraction, repression, and numbing.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you lost someone or something recently and you are afraid to dive into your grief because you don’t know how deep it will go?
  • Do you have a parent that is on the other side and you’d like to cultivate a relationship with them or do things in their honor?
  • Are you saving things or not doing things in your life and grief could be an inspiration to do them?
  • Are you willing to open your heart fully to love even if that means losing?

 

Kate’s Question:

As the holidays approach, Kate is grieving over the loss of her mother. She is searching for guidance on how to handle her grief.

 

Kate’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her mother passed away after a battle with cancer.
  • She is in her early 20s.
  • She and her mother bonded over gardening.
  • People are offering condolences and advice on how to get over her grief.
  • She is an only child.
  • Her mother wants her to be happy.
  • She finds solace in her partner and her puppy.
  • She finds it beneficial to talk with her therapist.
  • Her mother taught her about kindness and love.
  • She finds it difficult to reach out for support from her family.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Know that her mother will forever be in her heart.
  • Live and do things in a way that will honor her mother, like making her favorite tea.
  • Find joy in her memories and find joy alongside the tears and the loss.
  • She is doing a great job of taking care of herself.
  • Reach out to family members for support.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 17, 2022
John Kim, LMFT, also known as the Angry Therapist pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. John and his partner, Vanessa, live together in Los Angeles with their daughter. Together, they co-authored the book IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU: Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better .

 

Dec 14, 2022

This episode is about making the changes we know we need to make. Today’s caller, Toni, has done personal development work but still feels stuck in her relationship. Christine explores the possibility that Toni knows the changes she needs to make but is letting the fear of change hold her back from taking action.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode379]

 

Remember not to judge progress by external shifts. While external shifts are important it takes time for things to shift. Often, the season we are in is the awareness or the processing. We need to work our way up to making a change. But, eventually, we do have to make the change. Because awareness isn’t enough.

 

Integration and true transformation only happen when we change behavior. It doesn’t matter how much processing we do or how much information we have. The process of true transformation requires making big changes.

 

In life, if we could just connect the dots and things would change, life would be easy. It doesn’t work that way, for things to change we often have to take bold action.

 

Often, we know the changes we need to make but we don’t want to make them.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a situation you know needs to change but you just are terrified of making the change? Have you done all the work but still feel stuck?
  • Do you relate to being a people pleaser and a caregiver and you feel great in the role of taking care of others but no one’s taking care of you?

 

Toni’s Question:

Toni is feeling stuck in her relationship and is looking for guidance on how to make a change.

 

Toni’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She does personal development work but something isn’t shifting.
  • Her five-year relationship is issue-based.
  • Her partner may be emotionally unavailable.
  • She feels her relationship may not go the distance.
  • She had instability in her childhood.
  • She wanted safety and security from her father but didn’t receive them.
  • She cared for her father during his alcoholism until his passing.
  • She is a caretaker in all of her relationships.
  • Awareness has become her safety and security.
  • The only way she has gotten love is by taking care of others.
  • When she gets overwhelmed she shuts down.
  • She is afraid to leave her relationship.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Acknowledge and celebrate shifts she has experienced.
  • Make some big, scary changes.
  • Leave the relationship.
  • Stop using fear to not make a change.
  • Get support through a coach, therapist, accountability partner, or friend.

 

Takeaways:

  • Where are you stuck because you aren’t taking a step forward?

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dec 10, 2022

It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries.

But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving?

These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

Dec 7, 2022

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today’s caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378]

 

Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven’t ever transformed. It’s a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we’ve distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven’t really, truly taken care of ourselves.

 

Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren’t living to our fullest potential. The deepest level of contentment that we can access is limited because so much of our energy is spent on managing what we’ve never truly transformed. To get to where we want to go in life, we have to transform and that requires healing on deeper levels. There is nothing that can catalyze that like having children.

 

Children often bring forward the things that we have swept under the rug. They force us to look at ourselves. They trigger us. They are the perfect teachers because we love them so much and we don’t want to pass on our pain and trauma to them. We want to transform. but we don’t know how because our inner child is still wounded; we haven’t healed our traumas from our childhoods.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you a parent and do you sometimes question your parenting?
  • Do you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and has being a parent activated it, or if you’re not a parent, do you know you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and you’re not sure what to do with it?
  • Do you just feel too busy, or that there is too much going on in your life to deal with any of your trauma or do any healing?

 

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole is triggered by her child and would like guidance navigating her parenting journey while healing her trauma.

 

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has food insecurity issues.
  • She has child abuse, neglect, and abandonment traumas from her childhood.
  • She isn’t in contact with her family.
  • She feels she has to run the family and home by herself.
  • She feels stuck in her relationship.
  • Her nervous system is deregulated and in survival mode.
  • She feels anxious and overwhelmed.
  • She is unpredictable and inconsistent based on her trauma.
  • She feels she doesn’t deserve her daughter.
  • Her daughter was abused by someone close.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Make time for herself to heal her trauma.
  • Regulate her nervous system daily by humming and taking deep breaths.
  • Make a place for her daughter to have a temper tantrum.
  • Be present with her daughter.

 

Takeaways:

  • What are the things you can do daily to regulate your nervous system?

 

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Dec 3, 2022

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

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