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Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.
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Now displaying: 2020
Dec 2, 2020

This call is about overcoming apathy and releasing anger. Today’s caller, Ron, was constantly shamed by a volatile father. As an adult, he feels detached and numb. He uses apathy as a coping mechanism. We work through how he can release his feelings and do inner child work. I offer some techniques and strategies to help him regain a healthy masculine identity.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode273]

 

When men have a volatile father, they become passive or hyper-aggressive. They go to extremes. They can become the alpha-dog and lash out or they become passive with emotional eating. It is a common father wound for men to have a degree of shame that goes in either direction.

 

Shame is toxic and the way it impacts us all as humans is similar and different. How it impacts men is particularly detrimental, for women as well, but I've seen it impact men in a way where they lose touch with their masculine energy and become more passive in life.

 

It is nearly impossible to come out of being raised in a fear-based home, having a volatile parent, and never feeling like you got the love, affection, and approval you needed and grow up having no issues with it. As you might intellectually want yourself to be different, until you go back and do the healing work and dive deep, you are going to find yourself in the pantry sneak eating or whatever your version of that is.

 

If you are not living the life you want to be living, it is just feedback that there is more work to do. Inner child wounding is sometimes tough to get at because we bury it so deep. There is no shame and being willing to forgive the person is the first step.

 

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
  • Are you chronologically an adult and keep up with your grown-up responsibilities, but inside you don’t feel like one?
  • Are you mostly passive except for those occasional moments you lose your temper?
  • Did you get the love, attention, and affection you truly need and deserve from your parents, especially your father?

 

Ron’s Question:

Ron does not feel comfortable in his skin and he feels he does not belong. He would like guidance on how to break through the patterns.

 

Ron’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He practices negative self-talk.
  • He doesn’t feel like an adult, even though he is responsible.
  • He is afraid he will get in trouble for what he does.
  • He hides his eating habits.
  • His father was quick to anger and volatile.
  • He feels detached from his family.
  • He has numbed himself and feels apathy toward his parents.
  • He craves feeling and pleasure.
  • He does try to get his anger out.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Connect to his aggression, rage, and anger to get to the hurt.
  • Do the Temper Tantrum Technique from Expectation Hangover.
  • Write an ‘F-U’ letter to his parents he doesn’t send.
  • Tap into his masculine energy to find his fire, his warrior to allow him to feel again.
  • Find his inner coach voice, not his inner critic.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you aren't feeling like an adult, think about where you got frozen in childhood. Many people freeze at a certain age even though we can do adult things.
  • Do emotional processing. Use this free anger release download, ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
  • If you find yourself sneak eating or the kind of behavior you do in the shadows to soothe yourself or give you momentary pleasure and escapism when you feel the urge to do it, put your hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and ask your little one what they need.
  • If eating is a coping mechanism for you, listen to my “Coaches Corner with Samantha Skelly, Hungry for Happiness”
  • Reconnect to your little one and give them a chance to express their feelings. Be the parent to yourself you never had.

 

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get your new favorite stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Nov 28, 2020
Christine answers questions from single women and covers topics such as dating apps, healing sexual trauma, getting over ex's, removing intimacy blocks, and much more.
 
You can apply for Be the Queen here: www.christinehassler.com/bethequeen
 
You can download Christine's free Gratitude meditation here: https://christinehassler.com/gratitude
Nov 25, 2020

This call is about recognizing competing intentions and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Michelle, is facing challenges when calling in a partner, her person, someone to share her life with. A childhood wound regarding trust keeps repeating because she has not healed it yet. Even if you are not single, this call has something in it for you. We work through blocks when it comes to trusting people, and competing intentions.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode272]

 

When we have competing intentions, we have a longing and a desire. Yet, we also have protective strategies of “I may get hurt.” It is the intention that is keeping you protected that will win. This is why we feel like we are sabotaging ourselves. We keep repeating the same pattern over and over again.

 

The angrier we are, the better we are at protecting ourselves. The more we keep the wall up. Remember, when we forgive, it’s not about condoning actions or forgiving the actions that hurt us. It is about forgiving the misunderstandings and misperceptions and misbeliefs we bought into, based on what happened.

 

The power of your desire, the power of what you want IS powerful. Don't think it cannot bring you what you want. You have to look at what is blocking it. One of the best ways we can protect ourselves from future hurts is to heal our past hurts.

 

In December, I am offering the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for mental or emotional therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

 

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a similar expectation hangover happening repeatedly?
  • Are you aware of a childhood wound and know it impacts your life, but you can’t seem to shift it?
  • Are you single and want to be with a partner, your person, especially, after this challenging year?
  • Do you have trouble trusting people, especially when it comes to the opposite sex?

 

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to find someone to share her life with, her person.

 

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her brother passed away unexpectedly.
  • She is the youngest of five children from a big family.
  • She’s never been married but wants to find someone to share life with.
  • She has a broken heart about her family breaking up.
  • Her father left her mother for another woman.
  • She believes she can’t trust people and attracts men she can’t trust.
  • She has put up a wall around her heart.
  • She may have low self-worth and a rough inner critic.
  • She has been in therapy.
  • She has competing intentions.
  • She is angry and feels she needs to protect herself.
  • Her feminine desire is being blocked by masculine anger.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Find a way to protect herself in a healthy way.
  • Speak with her younger self about releasing her anger.
  • Realize she doesn’t have to trust every person, just one who is worthy.
  • Forgive herself for what she made her father’s actions mean.
  • Reparent herself by acknowledging her father isn’t representative of all men.
  • Start trusting herself.
  • Believe she can have a healthy, happy relationship.

 

Takeaways:

  • Consider what your competing intentions are. Is there something you want in your life but what is the protective block you have that is keeping you from getting it?
  • Get to the source of your issue.
  • Remember, with forgiveness, you are not forgiving the actions, you are forgiving the misunderstandings and limiting beliefs you bought into, based on the action.
  • If today's episode resonated with you, re-listen to it. If you want to apply to the Be the Queen program in January, go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen.

 

Sponsor:

Organifi — is an organic superfood powdered tea that makes quality, trusted nutrition convenient and delicious. Not all of us have the time or means to get the natural, fresh, organic vegetables we need. I upgrade my nutrition every single day with Organifi Gold, Organifi Gold Chocolate, or Green Juice. For 20% off your order, go to Organifi.com/overit and use the code ‘OVERIT’ at checkout to receive 20% off your order.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Nov 21, 2020
Stef joins Christine to answer more listener questions on libido, ghosting, loving an empath, masculine/feminine dynamics and much more! 
 
To access the recording of the group call go here: https://christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/
To apply for Be the Queen go here: https://christinehassler.com/bethequeen/
Nov 18, 2020

This call is about restoration and compassion. Today’s caller, Yaira, keeps going, going, going until she burns herself out. She is committed to believing that it is just who she is but the crux of this call is when she says she was trying to escape her circumstances. If you relate to being uncomfortable in stillness you will find this call useful.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode271]

 

For any of you who have grown up in a chaotic home, it is common for you to want to go, go, go because stillness brought up feelings of how long is it going to be before the other shoe drops? Stillness can feel traumatic because you are bracing yourself for something bad to come. If you relate to feeling like this, you have to reorient your body, your inner child, and your subconscious mind to stillness. Reinforce the idea that just because you are still it doesn't mean you are trapped or in danger.

 

If you feel you have already done a lot of personal development work, know that you are not done. You are never done. Just accept it. The hard work is at the beginning. What phase are you in on your personal growth journey? 

 

There are some of you who are very aware and who have lived in a “house” that has been constructed for a while and continue doing maintenance. But, others of you are still in the personal development building stage where there is a lot of work yet to do. It’s OK. Please don’t discredit the work you have done just because you have more work to do. Don’t minimize what you have done because there is something else you discovered that needs healing.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you passionate and committed to things, but sometimes you burn yourself out and don’t know how to stop?
  • Do you trust yourself?
  • Do you have issues with not pacing yourself?
  • Do you ever feel like you are out of control? You want to do a lot of things but feel like you have no stop button?
  • Is there something in your life, your past perhaps, you are trying to escape from?

 

Yaira's Question:

Yaira wants to push projects forward but experiences burn out and would like guidance on how to break her “negative” habits.

 

Yaira's Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She gets excited about starting new projects.
  • She experiences burnout when she pushes herself too hard.
  • She feels safe and grounded in some aspects but fearful in others.
  • She can be overindulgent.
  • She does not trust herself to set limitations or boundaries.
  • She does not have strong family bonds.
  • She grew up in a chaotic household and had to figure things out by herself.
  • She has not realized how much her past has impacted her.
  • She has done a lot of personal development work.
  • She wants to be in full control of her life.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Find a way to work with her energy in a way that conserves her energy.
  • Tell her younger self that she is free and has dominion over her life.
  • Call forward her inner parent.
  • Do a body scan or yoga practice to restore her body.
  • Speak to herself with compassion.

 

Takeaways:

  • If you are passionate, make sure to balance yourself out by being compassionate. Passion is fire energy, and it will burn you out if you do not balance it out.
  • Find the voice of your inner parents and explain things to yourself.
  • Find your “pull” motivation. Consider how much of what you are doing is motivated by “push or away from” energy versus the “toward energy” that pulls you toward your vision.

 

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get your new favorite stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Nov 14, 2020
This is a juicy one! Christine answers questions from our last group coaching call about love, sex, and relationships.
 
To access the recording of the group call go here: https://christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/
 
To get your amazing Organifi products, go here:  www.organifi.com/overit
Nov 11, 2020

This call is about bringing more harmony into your life. Today’s caller, Brian, loves his work but is searching for more work-life balance. He enjoys being the person who is always available to others but takes little time for himself. This episode is enlightening for those who get validation from being the reliable, go-to person.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode270]

 

There is no such thing as work-life balance. They are not two separate things. Work is part of life. It’s about putting more harmony in your life by doing things to balance out the huge time suckers. If you work a lot or are with your kids a lot, what are you doing to balance it out? Have you created boundaries to make time for yourself? Do you have a self-care practice? Is it your once-a-week therapy session? What things are you doing to balance out the things in your life that are time-consuming?

 

The ego generally gets a bad wrap in the personal development space. But, we all have an ego. We all need to feel like we matter. Every human needs to feel important. The ego is how we get validation. We just need to be careful that validation doesn’t become linked to our identity.

 

Every pattern we are involved in has costs and payoffs. Does the imbalance in your life cost you more than it pays out?

 

This is an intense time so be mindful of what you allow into your mind. Choose what you want your individual experience to be. In November, I am launching the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like you need more work-life balance?
  • Do you often feel like you can’t get away from your responsibilities? Do you believe that if you set boundaries or are not available or responsible all the time, things will fall apart?
  • Do you relate to being the go-to person?
  • Do you get validation for being the go-to-person? Does it make you feel needed?

 

Brian’s Question:

Brian would like guidance on how to bring more work-life balance into his world.

 

Brian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He works a lot of hours.
  • He loves his job and likes to make things work.
  • He enjoys being a reliable person.
  • He feels pressured to always be available.
  • He values being a good resource at work.
  • He would like to move toward being a leader.
  • His life is mostly about other people.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Expand his purpose with self-reflection.
  • Pay attention to his self-talk.
  • Be kind and gentle with himself.
  • Create a schedule of when he is available.
  • Adopt a five-minute morning meditation or breathwork practice.

 

Takeaways:

  • Think about what you are doing; does it give you a sense of identity and purpose? What is it costing you?
  • Is it time to evolve out of being the people pleaser or the go-to person?
  • Think about the boundaries you need to put in place to break some patterns.
  • What are the simple, non-time-consuming things you can set up that weigh a lot and will make a big difference?

 

Sponsor:

ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Nov 7, 2020

Samantha Skelly is a 7-figure entrepreneur, sought after international speaker, best-selling author, and wellness coaching expert. She founded both Hungry for Happiness, a movement that helps people experience true transformation and happiness through trained certified coaches who utilize emotional and energetic coaching techniques, and PAUSE Breathwork, which has a mission to unite humanity by helping people breathe, feel, and thrive. Samantha has revolutionized the weight loss and self-help industries by examining the individual and underlying causes of food, body, and self-love issues. You can check her out on  the popular Hungry for Happiness podcast and her best-selling HayHouse book, Hungry For Happiness which you can learn more about here: https://www.hungryforhappiness.com/hungry-for-happiness-book/

Nov 4, 2020

This call is about moving past programmed beliefs to uncover your authentic beliefs. Today’s caller, Meagan, is feeling unfulfilled and directionless. After her father’s passing, she had to take on a lot of responsibility quickly but did not receive support from her family. What we discover is that she has competing intentions or programmed beliefs that are bumping up against her authentic beliefs.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode269]

 

Life during our late 20s and early 30s can be difficult because it is at a time in life when it’s a weird combination of trying to figure out our future while also trying to clean up our past. We don’t want to repeat our past but it’s hard to get clarity on the future when we have not cleaned up our past first.

 

Often, our programmed beliefs and conditioning bump up against who we authentically are and it creates conflict.

 

Whenever we are doing clearing work or processing work of our past, at the same time we must reprogram our brain with the beliefs we want to believe, or the beliefs that we authentically believe. Sometimes we just need a little reminder of what those are.

 

And, as we start to clear things out we want to make sure we put new programs in, otherwise, the brain tends to hang on to the old stuff.

 

Secure your spot for the next live group coaching call about sex, intimacy, love, and relationships. The live call starts at 5 pm PST on 11/11/20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the library of past and future group calls. Become part of my community for only $20.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever feel like you are not on the “right path” or don’t have the direction in your life that you want?
  • Do you feel like you “should” have a more secure career path?
  • Growing up, did you feel free to express yourself creatively, and emotionally?
  • Have you ever experienced a loss you have yet to fully grieve?

 

Meagan’s Question:

Meagan would like guidance on finding direction and fulfillment in her life.

 

Meagan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels she lacks direction.
  • She was jolted into adulthood much sooner than she expected after her father’s passing.
  • She has not fully grieved her father.
  • She felt a lack of support in her family.
  • She tried to be perfect to get love from her parents.
  • She never felt fully expressed.
  • She would like to be a Human Design Reader.
  • She recently spoke with a counselor about her grief.
  • She wants to move and create a community for herself.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Invest in her wellness.
  • Surround herself with people who have an explorer spirit.
  • Confirm her authentic beliefs through books, podcasts, or other personal development media.
  • Break the pattern of overthinking everything.
  • Express herself creatively and emotionally.

 

Takeaways:

  • Reflect on what are your programmed beliefs and your authentic beliefs.
  • If you live in your head a lot, give your emotions an exit route by releasing them.
  • Consider looking into Human Design. Listen to my podcast with Erin Claire Jones.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Coaches Corner #241 with Erin Claire Jones on Human Design



Oct 31, 2020

A must-listen for both men and women! Traver Boehm joins Christine to talk about why so many men are emotionally unavailable or displaying unhealthy masculinity and how to shift it. Traver is inspiring millions of men to shift their experience of masculinity by combining the Primal Masculine with the Divine Masculine.  He is an author, speaker, and founder of the ManUncivilized Movement, as well as a former Strength & Conditioning coach, a CrossFit gym owner, an MMA fighter, a bodyguard, an acupuncturist, and a surfer.  (Check out his amazing TEDx talk by clicking here.)

Website: www.manuncivilized.com

Instagram: @traverboehm

Oct 28, 2020

This call is about developing authentic relationships by being authentic. Today’s caller, Kylie, is individuating and is trying to figure out how to have a grown-up relationship with her mother. This call is useful for those of you who are wondering how to have an adult relationship with your parents and break free of the patterns that were set up in childhood.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode268]

 

When we become an adult, we start to step into sovereignty. Our parents, or caregivers, raised us and they were our authority figure. We were dependent on them. As children, we couldn’t care for ourselves and were not supposed to. We were subjected to whatever patterns our parents imprinted upon us. Since as children we are sponges, we absorbed many of the way they did things, the way they feel their emotions, and the way they relate.  We learned as children to adapt to those behaviors and be whoever we think we need to be, to be safe, to be loved, and protected.

 

Then, as adults, as we step into sovereignty and we are not dependent on our parents, and we are dependent on ourselves, we have to consider the relational dynamic that was set up when we were dependent and had no sovereignty, no power.

 

The patterns that were set up your parental dynamic, either with one or both of your parents when they were set up, you had no choice in the matter. Today, you do. Do you still want to keep playing out the patterns that were imposed and imprinted on you as a child, now that you are an adult? Or, do you want to individuate and have a healthy adult relationship with your parents?

 

If so, it may involve upsetting them. The other person being upset is often a side effect of setting boundaries. You cannot wait until you are sure the other person will not be upset to do it.

 

To create a vision for a relationship that requires another person who is not doing their work can leave you with a massive expectation hangover. I have a guided talk in the Calm app.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you walk on eggshells or have anxiety when it comes to one or both of your parents or anyone in your life?
  • Do you often feel yourself contorting into what you think someone wants you to be so you avoid upsetting them?
  • Do you feel like you are growing at a faster rate than your parents? Or, have outgrown your parents and you’re not sure how to have a relationship with them?
  • Are you authentic and sovereign in your relationships or do you tend to give your power away?

 

Kylie’s Question:

Kylie wants guidance on how to develop a more authentic relationship with her mother.

 

Kylie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She rarely speaks with her mother even though they live close.
  • Her parents divorced when she was six.
  • She decided she does not want to follow her mother’s path.
  • There is some co-dependent patterning.
  • She is careful about how she communicates with her mother.
  • She does not want to disappoint her mother.
  • She is in tune with her body and working on her personal development.
  • She embraces intimacy with others.
  • She gives her mom a lot of power while disempowering herself.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Be careful not to take the caretaking role with her mother.
  • Be unapologetically herself.
  • Let it be OK that her mother gets upset.
  • Ask her boyfriend to call her out when she rolls back into her previous patterns.

 

Takeaways:

  • Stop editing yourself in relationships, especially the ones closest to you. It is okay to rock the boat.
  • No hiding, no avoiding. Embrace “carefrontations” and speak your truth.
  • Do not parent your parents.
  • Ask yourself why you chose your parents.
  • Look at the ways you are not sovereign. Where are you giving your power away?

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Oct 24, 2020
If you listen to this show, you are most likely an older soul and you are going to love this episode with Ainslie MacLeod. He is an internationally acclaimed past-life psychic, spiritual teacher, and award-winning author of The Instruction, The Transformation, and most recently, The Old Soul’s Guidebook. Ainslie specializes in exploring past lives to reveal your life’s purpose and has been a featured guest on Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations Series. He lives on a tranquil island in the Pacific Northwest.
 
Learn more about Ainslie, sign up for his membership community, and take your soul type quiz at: ainsliemacleod.com
Oct 21, 2020

This call is about seeking an external change to fill an internal void. Today’s caller, Leigh, wants to make a career change because she is not fulfilled by her current career. But her career switch is not the priority, it is about healing and breaking patterns. This call is important for any of you who feel stuck, who want to make a change, especially a career change, but are not doing it.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode267]

 

Practical decisions are often fear-influenced decisions. Fear-influenced decisions are not wrong. We feel we have to make decisions that give us more certainty. But, we sacrifice a lot of our beliefs, our magic, and our dreams when we do. As human beings, we learn through contrast, so it is OK to make fear-influenced decisions.

 

There are a lot of reasons why we do not make the changes we want to make. It can come back to childhood wounding and it can also be because we don’t have the right foundation.

 

We often seek out relationships or careers to give us what we didn’t get in childhood. For example, you might be seeking out someone in a relationship who makes you feel safe. Or, you may be seeking out a career to make you feel self-expressed and free. Many of our quests for fulfillment are a call for healing. But, remember, we never want to use something external to fill an internal void.

 

Empaths are sponges. We soak up a lot of information. One of the tendencies of empaths is that we take too much of other people’s guidance. We take on people’s feelings and accept what people tell us we should do. If you are an empath, think about that, feel into that. Do you allow other people to tell you who you are and what you should do, versus trusting your own discernment?

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel a call to do something different but can’t seem to make the change?
  • Did you grow up feeling like you had the attention you desired and deserved or are you starved for attention and emotional expression?
  • Are you in a relationship where you feel fully supported?
  • Are you afraid to speak your needs and go after your dream?

 

Leigh’s Question:

Leigh wants to make a career change and would like guidance about how to follow her dreams.

 

Leigh’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is interested in a career in personal development or healing arts.
  • She is currently a lawyer but not passionate about her work.
  • She has two children under five.
  • She loves deep conversations.
  • She needs financial security.
  • People always question what her heart desires.
  • She felt alone and not heard as a child.
  • She wants to follow her heart.
  • She is an empathetic, feelings-based person.
  • Her husband doesn’t understand why she needs a change.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Prioritize herself and her marriage.
  • Talk with a coach or therapist where she can feel heard and supported.
  • Get into the habit of expressing her emotions.
  • Express herself in her marriage.

 

Takeaways:

  • Get a consistent, habitual form of support in a therapeutic environment.
  • Remember, there is divine timing for everything.
  • If you feel you are not moving forward in the direction you want, it doesn't mean you’re not moving forward. You may have to re-route your path.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Oct 17, 2020

In this quickie episode Christine shares tips for how to get out of limbo and make a choice so that you can move forward. If you are struggling over a decision, don't miss this one!

Oct 14, 2020

This call is about eliminating the imprints put on us by other people. Today’s caller, Rory, has childhood wounding from her father’s verbal abuse and her mother’s lack of support. She feels stuck in her life but she is just in a loop of patterns she created to cope with not getting what she needed as a child. 

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode266]

 

Whatever parent’s love we crave most or whichever parent we felt the most distant from is usually who we tend to find a relationship with or we model ourselves after. And, that is what we are always chasing as an adult.

 

We want our parents to be proud of us but especially our fathers. Knowing your dad is proud of you is massive. We want to know our mom loves us unconditionally and dad is really proud of us. It helps our self-esteem.

 

If you are someone who feels stuck, realize you are not stuck. You are just caught in a loop based on your imprints and your patterns and your wounding. You have to find an exit route. And, often the exit route is what you did not get as a child that you need to give yourself.

 

People are often good at giving others what they are horrible about giving to themselves. You may be nurturing and compassionate towards others but hard on yourself. Or, patient with others but completely impatient with yourself. Anything we give in overflow to others is what we need to give ourselves.

 

What are you giving that you’re not receiving?

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you keep trying but things just aren’t happening?
  • Do you consistently start things but don’t finish them?
  • Did you grow up in a household where both parents were really hard on you? Did you feel like nothing you ever did was right?
  • Are you excellent at giving others compassion, acceptance, and understanding but not so great about giving it to yourself?

 

Rory’s Question:

Rory feels she has hit a wall and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t finish things she starts.

 

Rory’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up with a lack of love.
  • As a child, she was told she was different, sensitive, and that she would fail.
  • She wonders what the point of her life is.
  • She has a pattern of quitting.
  • She has recurring disturbing dreams about her father and sister.
  • She didn’t get any completion energy from her father.
  • She internalized her father’s voice.
  • She attaches negative connotations to journaling.
  • She feels pressure to do a lot of things.
  • She doesn’t speak to herself with compassion.
  • She has a fierce inner critic.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Nourish herself with the things she didn’t get.
  • Bring more healthy masculine energy into life.
  • Reduce the amount of doing and be compassionate with herself.
  • Realize external things won’t take the place of her passions.
  • Write out and record what she wishes her mother would have said and listen to it several times a day.
  • Listen to this episode again to reflect on how she is talking to herself.

 

Takeaways:

  • What loop are you in and what are the imprints and patterns that have you in a loop? How can you find an exit route?
  • What did you always want from your father or mother but didn’t get and start giving it to yourself?
  • Listen to the voices in your head and to the ones that are mean, the ones that push you, the ones that don’t accept you say, "Who is this, who is this?" and separate yourself from those voices.

 

Sponsor:

ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. ShipStation helps your business grow and thrive.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Oct 10, 2020

Omar is a gifted Storyteller, Public Speaker, and Life Coach specializing in Addiction Recovery and Emotional Healing work. He’s the host of the incredibly popular SHAIR Recovery podcast. He delivers a powerful message of overcoming drug addiction and an inspirational 16-year journey of recovery.  Omar is a successful self-made entrepreneur, is married to his soul mate, and lives in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Costa Rica. He has transformed his life through recovery, personal development, and coaching and now he helps people all over the world transform their lives.

Listen and learn more:

https://theshairpodcast.com/
https://omarpinto.com/

Oct 7, 2020

This call is about treating ourselves with compassion, encouragement, and unconditional love when we have a mother wound. Today’s caller, Megan, believes people avoid her because she has too many problems. What we uncover during our session is that she has created a false independence because it is how she copes with having a neglectful mother.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode265]

 

When we don’t have anyone holding us, we hold things inside.

 

The difference between being a victim with friends and being vulnerable is being a victim is always complaining about the same thing, never empowering yourself, and never doing anything differently. Being vulnerable is sharing what’s in your heart, and taking responsibility. It’s when you are not looking for a solution, not always complaining about the same thing but just having an open heart and being intentional about how you choose to shift it, even if it’s just being more compassionate with yourself. Victims don’t make too many friends unless they just hang out with other victims and they can all throw pity parties together. This doesn’t mean to not be vulnerable. You can be vulnerable without going into victim consciousness.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like you are too much for people? Do you feel you lose friendships or people avoid you because your life is hard and you think that you are just too much?
  • What events in your childhood are keeping you stuck?
  • Do you have an attitude that nothing works out and things are hard?
  • Did you have a mother who was not there for you or who neglected you, or who you were not enough for?

 

Megan’s Question:

Megan feels she is too intense or too much for other people and would like guidance on how to break free of the pattern.

 

Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • People pull away or avoid her.
  • She had three near-death experiences as a child.
  • Her parents divorced.
  • She feels isolated.
  • She struggles with low self-worth.
  • Her mother was neglectful in many forms.
  • She is mothering herself the way she was mothered.
  • She attracts emotionally unavailable people.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Nourish her relationship with herself.
  • Separate from her struggles to connect more deeply with herself.
  • Communicate with an advisor or good friend.

 

Takeaways:

  • Do the hand exercise and give it a voice.
  • Consider what you think of when you think of a “mother” and write out a list of the qualities that make an amazing, loving mother and integrate those qualities into your life.
  • Work on being vulnerable and intimate with your friends.

 

Sponsor:

Jenni Kayne — If you love clothes that are both stylish and super comfortable with a dash of refined simplicity, you will love Jenni Kayne. Having comfortable cozy items is essential at any time of year. Use the code ‘OVERIT’ for 20% off at checkout!

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Oct 3, 2020
Emily Pereira joins Christine to talk about getting over heartbreak, leaving a "safe/successful" life and finding love and happiness in unexpected places.
 
She is an international retreat leader, yoga teacher, and women’s coach specializing in helping women call in intimate, heart-thumping, passionate, I got-your-back-no-matter-what love. Her raw vulnerable storytelling laced with mind-blowing ahas about women’s empowerment have reached over 5 million people worldwide. She has written for some of the biggest media outlets of our generation and her first book, a memoir, The Quest: from the Hollywood Hills to the Amazon Jungleone woman’s search for enough will be released Nov. 10th 2020.
 
She is also the host of "The Quest for Love Summit" - a 7-Day Virtual Experience curated to help you discover the secrets to wild attraction, cosmic connection and committed devotion.  You can join for free at: https://thequestforlovesummit.com/
 
Emily lives in Santa Teresa, a seaside village along Costa Rica’s Pacific coast, with her husband, Manex and two small children, Saïa Moon & Teotihuacán where together they founded the Sunrise Mountain Retreat and Wellness Center.
Sep 30, 2020

This call is about how fear of commitment may truly be fear of loss. Today’s caller, Rachel, is collecting evidence about why she doesn’t want to be in a relationship because it will be too much work even though she says she would like to have a relationship. We talk about how the losses she experienced as a child may be coloring her perception of what a relationship will be like and how interdependent relationships can help us heal.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode264]

 

People who felt very alone as children will lead a solitary life and think that it’s what they want because they want to avoid a wound about being lonely as a child. They stay in that energetic and continue living a lonely, solitary life because they don’t know any different. It keeps the old wound from coming up. It may not make a lot of logical sense but if you are someone who lives a solitary or lonely life, and you believe that you are an introvert and you like it better, is it really true? Or, is loneliness a wound from your childhood you are perpetuating in your adulthood?

 

When we don’t have stability or structure in our life or childhood, things become overwhelming as an adult. It’s because there is still a traumatized child running the show. This is why having a lot going on, for someone who moved around a lot, had a parent that died, or didn’t have someone there to provide structure and stability, is hard. Just a few things can seem overwhelming.

 

Until we do healing work, our perception is influenced by past wounding because we expect to see what we have seen in the past.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you not getting into a relationship because you don’t want one or because you are scared?
  • Do you have a history of loss? Has loss been a major teacher for you?
  • Are you afraid that if anyone gets too close, you will lose them?
  • Do you spend a lot of time alone and think that you like that better?
  • Do you believe your inner child wounding could actually be healed in a relationship? Do you avoid relationships because you’re afraid you’re going to get hurt?

 

Rachel’s Question:

Rachel has experienced multiple losses and would like guidance on how to approach relationships in her life.

 

Rachel’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She believes a relationship would be a lot of work.
  • Her mother passed when she was seven.
  • She was separated from her family members when her mother passed.
  • She was adopted at 14 by a family friend.
  • She may be looking for a caretaker in a relationship.
  • She wants a relationship but is not sure it will fit her life.
  • She would like a relationship with someone she can count on.
  • She is craving a nurturing partner.
  • She leads a solitary life and feels safer hiding herself.
  • She has a lot of love to give.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Stop letting the loss she experienced define her.
  • Open her heart to herself, other people, or an animal.
  • Consider if she makes decisions from her heart or fear.
  • Watch or read things that model a nurturing love.

 

Takeaways:

  • Know that the thing that has been the primary teacher in your life does not have to be a consistent lesson.
  • For any decision you are dealing with, ask yourself if you are making the choice from fear or from your heart.
  • Connect to your mothering, nurturing energy, whether you are male or female.
  • If you are someone who deals with loneliness, give love to yourself and others.

 

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get your new favorite stylish, versatile, sustainable shoes and bags made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet and are machine washable. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over and get free shipping and free returns.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Sep 26, 2020

Meera Lee Patel is a self-taught artist and the author of Start Where You AreMade Out of Stars, and My Friend Fear, and—most recently—Create Your Own Calm. She creates work to inspire and encourage others to connect with themselves, each other, and the world around them.

In this episode we talk about how you can incorporate art and creativity into your wellness routine and meditation practice.

Learn more about Meera here: https://meeralee.com/

Sep 23, 2020

This call is about effectively communicating your needs to break unhealthy patterns in relationships. Today’s caller, Julie, is aware of the unhealthy patterns in her relationships but is uncertain why the patterns aren’t shifting. The amazing thing about relationships, romantic or friendship, is that they can provide healing ground for inner child wounding if we feel safe enough to do it.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode263]

 

We all have masculine and feminine energy within us, no matter how we identify. Often, the way we present in life is not our core essence. Masculine energy likes to feel respected. It’s on the top of the priority list for men. And, for the female-identifying people that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to be respected but for the feminine essence it is a lot more about feeling safe and respect is part of that. It is about feeling safe physically, feeling safe emotionally, and feeling safe sexually.

 

Masculine and feminine energy is something Stefanos and I teach a lot. It’s another avenue of personal development we can learn about and in relationships, especially intimate relationships, it’s really important to have polarity, otherwise, you either kind of go into roommate mode or you have a lot of arguments.

 

When healing a romantic relationship there are two key aspects. The inner child piece and the polarity piece. It is hard to get the polarity piece in place when the inner child piece isn’t in place. So how the inner child piece helps with the polarity piece is as children we are more in touch with our core essence, either feminine or masculine, and it’s because of inner child wounding that those masks get put on. The more we give ourselves what we need inside ourselves the more we give the little one inside of us what we didn’t get as children.

 

Remember inner child work in a relationship is meeting our needs, parenting ourselves in the way that we didn’t get, and then communicating our needs in a non-attacking, non-passive-aggressive, non-manipulative way to our partners.

 

It’s a lot to be human, be a parent, and be in a relationship, but when we understand our inner child, understand how to parent, and understand polarity it becomes a little less overwhelming and a little easier.

 

Level 2 of the Virtual Inner Child Workshop will be held on Sept. 25-27. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Level2 to sign up or visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchildbundle to purchase both Level 1 and Level 2. Recordings of both workshops will be available until October 26, 2020.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have patterns that keep showing up in your life, or your relationships, and no matter what you do you just can’t seem to shake them?
  • Were you raised in a home where you had to parent your parents and you had to be both the mother and the father?
  • Do you tend to parent your children in a way that is opposite to how you were parented but when it comes to your own relationship with your inner child you’re still parenting yourself the way you were parented?
  • Do you relate to feeling like things are going well but you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop so you can’t really enjoy the good happening in your life?

 

Julie’s Question:

Julie has grown a lot with personal development work but she can’t seem to shake the patterns of waiting for something to go wrong.

 

Julie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She separated herself from an abusive marriage.
  • She looks for things to go wrong.
  • Her mother is bi-polar.
  • She is currently in a romantic relationship.
  • Her partner speaks another language.
  • She didn’t have a close relationship with her father.
  • She adopted a protective strategy.
  • She is in Personal Mastery.
  • Her mother criticized her.
  • She fears being disappointed and hurt.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Use her relationship as a healing container.
  • Work with her inner child, little Julie.
  • Give love and encouragement in place of self-judgment.
  • Step into her feminine.
  • Talk with her partner about getting her needs met.
  • Be gentle with herself.

 

Takeaways:

  • Ask yourself, ‘what did I need most in childhood that I didn’t get?’ and give it to yourself. Make it a priority to give yourself whatever it is.
  • If you want to learn more about the masculine-feminine dynamic, I like the book, Intimate Communion by David Deida. If you want to try it on Audible you can go to Audibletrial.com/overitandonwithit to get a discount.
  • If you’re in a relationship, think of how you can meet the needs of your inner child and then communicate those needs to your partner in a non-passive-aggressive, non-attacking, or non-manipulative way.
  • Do the inner child work. Join us for the Inner Child Workshop, Level 1, and Level 2.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Sep 19, 2020
On this episode one of Christine's friends and trusted advisors, Stephanie Roman joins her on the show to talk about being an empath and tapping into your psychic gifts.  You will be so incredibly inspired by her story and love her insight on how to live a healthy, empowered life as an empath.
 

Stephanie channels the Divine to give you messages that resonate in helping you remember your most authentic self and path. She lovingly holds a magic mirror up to you so you can see how wonderful and beautiful you are in the eyes of God. This seemingly simple process helps you feel that connection to something bigger that sometimes becomes lost by our society valuing external direction over your own.

 

She believes that EVERY person is psychic and that each person experiences multiple different types of abilities over a lifetime. One of her huge missions is helping you recognize and experiment with how to stop doubting your gift in order to integrate them into whatever your big dreams are. She proudly calls herself a “Psychic Trainer” and helps her clients take bigger and bigger leaps of faith in their life by empowering them to know that THEY have all the answers.

 

You can learn more about here here: https://www.psychictrainerstephanie.com/

If you are interested in her six-week program for empaths, you can call or text her at (469) 332-7228‬

Sep 16, 2020

This call is about coming to terms with leaving an abusive past behind. Today’s caller, Julie, grew up in an abusive home and struggles with how much responsibility she has to stay involved in the family dynamic of her family of origin. We discuss body memories and what she is experiencing at a soul level. Until we parent our inner child the way it needs to be parented, that part of us continues to hook into the past to try to get our needs met.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode262]

 

Whatever your story is, there’s no reason to carry around shame or judgment of it and there is no reason to over-identify with it. If you think because of your past you have to have an awful life, or you will never become what you want to become, or use it as a scapegoat or excuse, you don’t. Your story is part of your life. It is something that has formed you but it doesn’t have to limit you. And, there’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed about it. Your story is your story, that’s it.

 

The body is often the language of the subconscious mind. And, with emotions, our body can be stuck in time because it remembers a trauma that happened. Many of our emotions are coming from the subconscious level, especially the programmed emotions. Those are the ones we have been feeling since we were a child, based on things that happened or things we were told. Emotions that we feel over and over again that are pervasive and repetitive are emotional addictions. Oftentimes, right before we break an addiction, cravings for the experience get stronger.

 

It’s hard to break karma and step into massive soul lessons because we know we are breaking free of something major we have been hanging on to for lifetimes.

 

Level 2 of the Virtual Inner Child Workshop will be held on Sept. 25-27. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Level2 to sign up or visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchildbundle to purchase both Level 1 and Level 2. Recordings of both workshops will be available until October 26, 2020.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you know the difference between your actual feelings or feelings that have just been a programmed response?
  • Are you estranged from a family member or do you feel it may be healthy not to be in contact with a certain family member or a friend?
  • Do you feel guilty or ashamed by your parents and do things out of obligation?
  • Do you want to break free of the wounding of childhood and create a new kind of healthy family moving forward?

 

Julie’s Question:

Julie would like guidance on how to discern her programmed feelings from her actual feelings.

 

Julie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an abusive home.
  • She could never do anything right.
  • She will be adopting a baby and doesn’t want to repeat the cycle.
  • She feels as if she can’t escape her past.
  • She doesn’t speak with her mother.
  • She feels debilitated but is ready to purge the feelings.
  • She feels ready to be a mother.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Reach out to a somatic therapist who is trauma-informed.
  • Look at how far she has come and acknowledge herself for it.
  • Forgive herself for the self-imposed blame.
  • Emancipate herself from being controlled and betrayed.

 

Takeaways:

 

Sponsor:

ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. ShipStation helps your business grow and thrive.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



Sep 12, 2020
In this episode, Kate Northrup joins me to talk about how we can adapt to these challenging times by actually doing less.  We also discuss how to get over being an "achievement addict" and drop into more self-trust and receptivity. As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, speaker, and mother, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital empire that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. She's committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Kate teaches data-driven and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress.
 
Kate is also the author of two books: Money: A Love Story and Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women.  You can learn more about Kate at: https://katenorthrup.com/
 
And more about her membership community here: https://origincollective.com/
 
Also, join me this weekend Sept 10th-14th for the Integrated Feminine Online Symposium. Go to www.theintegratedfeminine.com, use coupon code CHRISTINE10 for 10% off.
Sep 9, 2020

This call is about being able to meet your own needs. Today’s caller, Melissa, had a challenging childhood and is being triggered in her current relationship. She would like guidance on how to communicate her needs to her partner. We work through how her triggers are serving her and the expression of a need versus the expectation of a need to be filled by someone else.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode261]

 

We often choose spouses and relationship partners who help us heal unmet needs and wounds from our parents.

 

As humans, on a metaphysical, even spiritual level, we need other people. And, we need people to meet certain needs. And, when we learn how to meet our needs ourselves we get better at communicating healthy needs to others.

 

We live in an interdependent world, yet we are sovereign beings. This means we must take an inside-out approach. First, we have to be independent in fulfilling our own needs internally and not project them on others. When we understand how to communicate our needs, not from a needy place but a place of bonding in our relationships, we can then connect and express with others toward interdependence.

 

There is the difference between being needy, or trying to get someone else to fill a need, and clearly expressing our needs to another person in a way that we can teach them how to meet it.

 

If you missed the Virtual Inner Child Workshop Level 1, you can still listen to it. It is necessary if you want to join in for Level 2, on Sept. 25-27. Go to ChristineHassler.com/innerchildbundle to purchase both Level 1 and Level 2. Recordings of both workshops will be available until October 26, 2020.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • As a child, did you ever feel abandoned or neglected?
  • Do you get triggered in your relationships when you feel someone else is not meeting your needs or showing up the way you like them to?
  • Do you have a pattern of reaching out to others to get your needs met?
  • Can you say without a shadow of a doubt you know how to meet your own needs?

 

Melissa’s Question:

Melissa doesn't completely understand her needs and feelings. She wants guidance on how to recognize her boundaries and give herself what she needs when she is triggered.

 

Melissa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She wants to understand her feelings and needs.
  • She projects her abandonment wounds on to her husband.
  • She is aware of her abandonment wounding.
  • She was left alone while her parents comforted her younger brother.
  • She never felt supported by her parents.
  • She is triggered by her husband’s attention to his work.
  • She attended the Inner Child Workshop, Level 1.
  • She reached out to her mother but was disappointed by her response.
  • She wants to establish a connection with her mother.
  • She feels overburdened with managing her emotions.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Do the empty chair process from Expectation Hangover.
  • Write her mother a letter she does not intend to send.
  • Use her triggers to discover how she can meet her own needs.

 

Takeaways:

  • Think about the things you want from other people and make a list of your unmet needs and see how you may not be doing those things for yourself.
  • Learn how to communicate your needs to people in your life.
  • Join us for the Inner Child Workshop, Level 1, and Level 2.

 

Sponsor:

Jenni Kayne — If you love clothes that are both stylish and super comfortable with a dash of refined simplicity, you will love Jenni Kayne. Make getting dressed the easiest part of your routine with Jenni Kayne’s modern essentials. Use the code ‘OVERIT’ for 20% off at checkout!

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.



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