A must-listen for both men and women! Traver Boehm joins Christine to talk about why so many men are emotionally unavailable or displaying unhealthy masculinity and how to shift it. Traver is inspiring millions of men to shift their experience of masculinity by combining the Primal Masculine with the Divine Masculine. He is an author, speaker, and founder of the ManUncivilized Movement, as well as a former Strength & Conditioning coach, a CrossFit gym owner, an MMA fighter, a bodyguard, an acupuncturist, and a surfer. (Check out his amazing TEDx talk by clicking here.)
Website: www.manuncivilized.com
Instagram: @traverboehm
This call is about developing authentic relationships by being authentic. Today’s caller, Kylie, is individuating and is trying to figure out how to have a grown-up relationship with her mother. This call is useful for those of you who are wondering how to have an adult relationship with your parents and break free of the patterns that were set up in childhood.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode268]
When we become an adult, we start to step into sovereignty. Our parents, or caregivers, raised us and they were our authority figure. We were dependent on them. As children, we couldn’t care for ourselves and were not supposed to. We were subjected to whatever patterns our parents imprinted upon us. Since as children we are sponges, we absorbed many of the way they did things, the way they feel their emotions, and the way they relate. We learned as children to adapt to those behaviors and be whoever we think we need to be, to be safe, to be loved, and protected.
Then, as adults, as we step into sovereignty and we are not dependent on our parents, and we are dependent on ourselves, we have to consider the relational dynamic that was set up when we were dependent and had no sovereignty, no power.
The patterns that were set up your parental dynamic, either with one or both of your parents when they were set up, you had no choice in the matter. Today, you do. Do you still want to keep playing out the patterns that were imposed and imprinted on you as a child, now that you are an adult? Or, do you want to individuate and have a healthy adult relationship with your parents?
If so, it may involve upsetting them. The other person being upset is often a side effect of setting boundaries. You cannot wait until you are sure the other person will not be upset to do it.
To create a vision for a relationship that requires another person who is not doing their work can leave you with a massive expectation hangover. I have a guided talk in the Calm app.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Kylie’s Question:
Kylie wants guidance on how to develop a more authentic relationship with her mother.
Kylie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Takeaways:
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
This call is about seeking an external change to fill an internal void. Today’s caller, Leigh, wants to make a career change because she is not fulfilled by her current career. But her career switch is not the priority, it is about healing and breaking patterns. This call is important for any of you who feel stuck, who want to make a change, especially a career change, but are not doing it.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode267]
Practical decisions are often fear-influenced decisions. Fear-influenced decisions are not wrong. We feel we have to make decisions that give us more certainty. But, we sacrifice a lot of our beliefs, our magic, and our dreams when we do. As human beings, we learn through contrast, so it is OK to make fear-influenced decisions.
There are a lot of reasons why we do not make the changes we want to make. It can come back to childhood wounding and it can also be because we don’t have the right foundation.
We often seek out relationships or careers to give us what we didn’t get in childhood. For example, you might be seeking out someone in a relationship who makes you feel safe. Or, you may be seeking out a career to make you feel self-expressed and free. Many of our quests for fulfillment are a call for healing. But, remember, we never want to use something external to fill an internal void.
Empaths are sponges. We soak up a lot of information. One of the tendencies of empaths is that we take too much of other people’s guidance. We take on people’s feelings and accept what people tell us we should do. If you are an empath, think about that, feel into that. Do you allow other people to tell you who you are and what you should do, versus trusting your own discernment?
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Leigh’s Question:
Leigh wants to make a career change and would like guidance about how to follow her dreams.
Leigh’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Takeaways:
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
In this quickie episode Christine shares tips for how to get out of limbo and make a choice so that you can move forward. If you are struggling over a decision, don't miss this one!
This call is about eliminating the imprints put on us by other people. Today’s caller, Rory, has childhood wounding from her father’s verbal abuse and her mother’s lack of support. She feels stuck in her life but she is just in a loop of patterns she created to cope with not getting what she needed as a child.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode266]
Whatever parent’s love we crave most or whichever parent we felt the most distant from is usually who we tend to find a relationship with or we model ourselves after. And, that is what we are always chasing as an adult.
We want our parents to be proud of us but especially our fathers. Knowing your dad is proud of you is massive. We want to know our mom loves us unconditionally and dad is really proud of us. It helps our self-esteem.
If you are someone who feels stuck, realize you are not stuck. You are just caught in a loop based on your imprints and your patterns and your wounding. You have to find an exit route. And, often the exit route is what you did not get as a child that you need to give yourself.
People are often good at giving others what they are horrible about giving to themselves. You may be nurturing and compassionate towards others but hard on yourself. Or, patient with others but completely impatient with yourself. Anything we give in overflow to others is what we need to give ourselves.
What are you giving that you’re not receiving?
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Rory’s Question:
Rory feels she has hit a wall and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t finish things she starts.
Rory’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Takeaways:
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
Omar is a gifted Storyteller, Public Speaker, and Life Coach specializing in Addiction Recovery and Emotional Healing work. He’s the host of the incredibly popular SHAIR Recovery podcast. He delivers a powerful message of overcoming drug addiction and an inspirational 16-year journey of recovery. Omar is a successful self-made entrepreneur, is married to his soul mate, and lives in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Costa Rica. He has transformed his life through recovery, personal development, and coaching and now he helps people all over the world transform their lives.
Listen and learn more:
This call is about treating ourselves with compassion, encouragement, and unconditional love when we have a mother wound. Today’s caller, Megan, believes people avoid her because she has too many problems. What we uncover during our session is that she has created a false independence because it is how she copes with having a neglectful mother.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode265]
When we don’t have anyone holding us, we hold things inside.
The difference between being a victim with friends and being vulnerable is being a victim is always complaining about the same thing, never empowering yourself, and never doing anything differently. Being vulnerable is sharing what’s in your heart, and taking responsibility. It’s when you are not looking for a solution, not always complaining about the same thing but just having an open heart and being intentional about how you choose to shift it, even if it’s just being more compassionate with yourself. Victims don’t make too many friends unless they just hang out with other victims and they can all throw pity parties together. This doesn’t mean to not be vulnerable. You can be vulnerable without going into victim consciousness.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Megan’s Question:
Megan feels she is too intense or too much for other people and would like guidance on how to break free of the pattern.
Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Takeaways:
Sponsor:
Jenni Kayne — If you love clothes that are both stylish and super comfortable with a dash of refined simplicity, you will love Jenni Kayne. Having comfortable cozy items is essential at any time of year. Use the code ‘OVERIT’ for 20% off at checkout!
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.