Over It And On With It

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What to Expect from the Years Ahead (and how to Navigate the Now) with Asterian Astrologer Jade Luna 0

May 22, 2021

Today Asterian Astrologer Jade Luna joins me again to discuss how the stars predicted this time we are in, what we can learn from it and how we can move forward. Jade and I speak about what life is really about and what the most important things that each and every one of us can do right now to live our most aligned and true lives.

Jade S. Luna is the first Westerner ever to reconstruct Jyotish (Hindu Astrology) into a Greco-Roman format. Jade has traveled extensively around the planet, lecturing and conducting workshops on Astrology and Ancient Roman-Greco mysticism. He has traveled to India more than 30 times and spent a great deal of time with various teachers, Saints and Sadhu’s in Asia.

Jade also consults with people privately. He usually presents a few seminars each year at various locations world wide. He is the author of Asterian Astrology and has been one of the most successful Astrologers in the world and has maintained a high level practice for over 18 years.

You can learn more or book a session with him here: http://www.asterianastrology.com

Download this Episode

EP 297: How to Move Out of Anxiety and Feel Safe with Lara 0

May 19, 2021

This episode is about regulating the nervous system and dealing with past pains. Today’s caller, Lara, is looking for guidance on how to cultivate a sense of safety and security. We work through a body practice to regulate her nervous system and bring her into calm.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode297]

Feeling safety and security isn’t a mental thing. They have to be felt in the body. When we feel safe and secure, the nervous system relaxes, the body gets out of our survival brain and it comes into a rest-and-digest stage where the nervous system can regulate.

With a dysregulated nervous system you cannot shift it by talking, analyzing, or awareness. It becomes frustrating because you can see your anxiety and you understand why it is there and explain your reasons for having anxiety. But, just being able to explain something doesn’t change it. The healing or the fixing of it becomes another obsession. What it comes down to is the creation of safety and security. We are always trying to get back to feeling safe and secure.

The human body and the nervous system are very resilient, as is the human spirit, but we cannot shift and change when we think we are broken. We need to have compassion for ourselves and one of our most valuable inner resources is our ability to ask for help.

Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can’t make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome.

Tuesday, June 1 at 5 pm (PT) I will host another group coaching call for only $20. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/group.

Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, “Your Heart, Your Life,” I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart and use the promo code “heart” for a 14-day free trial.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you constantly feel anxious or deal with obsessive thoughts?
Have you outsourced your worth or your sense of safety? Are you looking for it in your achievements, a relationship, or even your appearance?
Do you crave to be in a relationship, then when you get in them, they’re not healthy?
Do you have trouble regulating your nervous system and bringing yourself into a calm?

Lara’s Question:

Lara would like to know how she can cultivate a sense of trust and safety and guidance on how to stop filling her void with external things or men.

Lara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She does not feel worthy or good enough.
She struggles with binge eating.
She tries to outsource her worth through her appearance, men, or achievements.
She has had manic episodes.
She craves being in relationships and wants to be saved.
She over-analyzes everything she does.
She feels stuck.
She has a sharp mind and a lot of self-awareness.
She grew up with inconsistency and chaos in her childhood.
Her mother was not there for her as a child.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Recognize when her nervous system is dysregulated and greet it with compassion.
Put her hands on her belly and chest and then breathe deep and make a “VUUU” sound.
Hold a stuffed animal and rock back and forth to soothe herself.
Give herself the parenting and the developmental stages she didn’t get.
Go to the people and sources that give her motherly love.

Takeaways:

Consider the indicators when you go into survival mode then recognize and accept them.
Have compassion for yourself.
Move into a source of regulation such as breathing, holding a stuffed animal, rocking, etc.
Stop trying to shift a dysregulated nervous system with your mind.
Remember, nothing is broken or wrong about you.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

EP 296: How to Have a Hard Conversation with a Parent with Max 0

May 12, 2021

This episode is about having difficult conversations with our parents. Today’s caller, Max, is trying to avoid being triggered when he speaks to his father. We discuss how Max can ease the impact on his inner child and not experience an expectation hangover.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode296]

If a parent or someone we love opens the door to have a conversation we want to run right through and share everything we have been wanting to say for the last 20 years. The other person may feel bombarded and not be ready to hear everything we have to say in one conversation.

If you are offered an open door with someone who has been closed for a very long time, do not rush through it thinking it is a green light to speak about everything you have been holding in for decades. Sometimes we need triggering events to create momentum and shifts in a relationship. It is better to approach the situation slowly.

*Coaches — this is where you want to be mindful with your clients. For someone who has a triggering relationship, if they have an opportunity like that you want to support them and guide them through walking through the door slowly. Coach them toward taking baby steps so they don’t end up with a massive expectation hangover.

Consider/Ask Yourself

Do you have patterns of escapism?
Is there a parent whose love you are seeking? Do you seek out their love in unhealthy ways?
Have you always felt like one or both of your parents don’t understand you?
Do you feel so different from your family you don’t know if you will ever fit in?

Max’s Question:

Max would like advice on how to keep himself grounded when he speaks with his father.

Max’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He was disloyal in his relationship.
He knew avoidance issues were a pattern throughout his life.
Love and sex are separate for him.
He is the oldest of six children.
His childhood family was emotionally suppressive.
His father struggled with alcohol abuse and infidelity.
His biological mother abandoned him.
He then escaped to Mother’s house later in life.
He does a lot of personal growth work.
He has opposing views from his family about current events.
He wants a compassionate embrace from his father.
He wants to escape when he feels overwhelmed.
He is learning to set boundaries.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Set an intention of having his father get to know him better.
Figure out what little Max needs.
Approach his relationships slowly, in a way that does not shock his inner child.

Takeaways:

If you are going to have a conversation with someone who has opened a door, write out some questions or comments. Go into those kinds of conversations prepared so your nervous system doesn’t go into overdrive.
When making a big decision, check in with your inner child and do not push yourself. Taking baby steps can be powerful.

Sponsor:

THIRDLOVE — Ladies, when was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or loungewear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Get Over "I Got It!" with Elayne Fluker 0

May 8, 2021

If you are someone who prides themselves on "being strong" and not great at asking for support, this episode is for you!. Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership) -- is the host of the Support is Sexy podcast featuring interviews with more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs, and founder of SiS.Academy -- an online learning platform for Black Women entrepreneurs.

Download this Episode

EP 295: Healing from Trauma with Anne 0

May 5, 2021

This episode is about healing trauma. Today’s caller, Anne, is a musician who wants to expand her creative expression but feels blocked due to the sexual abuse she experienced. She has done a lot of personal development work but still has difficulty fully expressing herself. She wants guidance on how to navigate through her trauma to heal it.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode295]

Trauma impacts and/or injures the nervous system. When a person experiences extreme trauma the brain goes into survival, which means fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The brain is always on the lookout for danger and it is exhausting. That is why we experience fear and anxiety.

I can’t label what “extreme” is because two people can have the same situation happen to them and one person may register in their nervous system as not that big of a deal, but another person with the same circumstances can register it as a really big deal.

When we are healing trauma it is not about reliving it. It is about providing space for somatic emotional release and working with a person to regulate their nervous system. It is about coming out of the survival brain and moving back into the “rest and digest” part of the nervous system, moving from the sympathetic nervous system which is on alert, and into the parasympathetic nervous system.

The personal development/self-help world can be misleading, perhaps even damaging, for people that have experienced extensive trauma like rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, racial trauma, etc. Often, there’s an expectation or ethos in the personal development industry that you just need to shift your mindset about something and find the lesson of it. Or, that challenging experiences make you stronger or you can meditate your way through anything. It leaves a lot of people feeling like they are failing at personal development.

Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, "Your Heart, Your Life" I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart and use promo code “heart” for a 14-day free trial.

Anne’s Question:

Anne has been trying to heal trauma from sexual abuse and rape and would like guidance on how to navigate through it to shift it.

Anne’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She experienced sexual abuse.
She is a musician.
She has depression and feels blocked.
She feels she cannot fully express herself.
She has done energy work and spoken to counselors.
She has done the temper tantrum technique.
She is having a biologically correct response to what is happening.
She has had bad experiences with the medical system.
She trusts her intuition but not her decision-making process.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Give herself grace and understanding.
Trust that she still has her innocence, expression, femininity, and sexuality.
Acknowledge the progress she has made.
Work with a trauma-trained therapist to help her regulate her nervous system.
Nurture her creativeness and passion.
Do not push through her fear.
Have faith and trust her intuition to align with the right person to help.
Realize she has been through a high level of trauma and she deserves a high level of support.

Takeaways:

Look at the things you have bought into in the personal development world. Are there things that feel more motivational? Could they be hurting more than helping?
Is it time to normalize the biologically correct behavior you're experiencing to find the right specialist to help you with it?
Consider where you have trust issues. Find something to put your trust into even if it is your intuition.
Be open to receiving support. Put it out there verbally and energetically.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.