This episode is about finding the tools to help you better deal with trauma and breaking the cycle of numbing. Today’s caller, Charmaine, has had multiple traumas in her life and uses marijuana as a coping strategy. But this isn’t a call about stopping marijuana use. When discussing any type of addiction or numbing device, you have to uncover the deeper issue.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode229]

From my point of view, we can’t deal with addiction effectively unless we deal with the core issue that is creating the addiction or coping strategy. Most addictions are coping strategies for when we didn’t have the tools to deal with the drama and trauma that’s happened in our life. Addiction to anything is a symptom of a deeper issue.

When we speak of addiction, we often just think of drugs and alcohol but there are so many other things we use as coping and numbing strategies that become addictions. Sex, gaming, gambling, food, and even things like work, falling in love, and caretaking. Basically, anything we use to get us out of feeling our pain and feeling our big feelings is a coping strategy that can turn into an addiction.

Because the way coping strategies work, is you have to keep upping the ante. The feelings get bigger and bigger and then it takes more energy to suppress them. And, there is not much of a difference between emotional, mental, and physical addiction. Because mental and emotional pain is most likely the cause of physical addiction.

If you feel like you are addicted to something worse than marijuana, know that you can get to the other side of it and that judging yourself will not get you anywhere. It won’t get you to stop being mean to yourself. The part of you that is reaching out for the coping strategy needs love and compassion. It needs to be healed. You probably developed your coping strategy because you had no better tools.

Remember, there is not one style of therapy or coaching that is better than others. It’s about what feels right to you. When it comes to working with any therapist or coach it’s either a ‘hell yeah’ or ‘hell no’! Better tools are available but know that it requires facing your feelings and some of the demons you buried a long time ago.

To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• When it comes to feeling your pain, do you actually feel it or do you numb or distract yourself?
• Did you have parents who were super present and attentive?
• Have you done things you are ashamed of?
• Are you addicted to a substance or numbing technique like pot, alcohol, caretaking, overworking, or food?

Charmaine’s Question:

Charmaine used marijuana to help her cope during a difficult time but would like to stop but doesn’t know how.

Charmaine’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She was in the military for 13 years and in an unhealthy marriage.
• She was kicked out of the military for drug use.
• She uses pot to numb herself from the trauma she experienced in her past.
• She feels shame and judges herself.
• Her parents neglected her.
• She was sexually molested when she was a child.
• She has seen a therapist who recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
• She has employed numbing mechanisms for her whole life.
• She has remarried a wonderful human being.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to find a long-term, quality therapist that resonates with her.
• She needs a safe space to feel her feelings.
• She shouldn’t quit pot until she has the techniques to deal with her emotions.

Takeaways:

• Be honest and compassionate with yourself if you are using a coping strategy that may border on addiction or is a full-blown addiction.
• If you feel as if you want a guide or therapist, pray about it. Set the intention to manifest the best healer for you.
• You have a divine appointment with the people in your life who are supposed to guide you. Trust that they are there.
• Join my Personal Mastery Course or my Spring Retreat.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

This episode is about getting out of your head and in touch with spirit. Today’s caller, Michelle, is intelligent and has a lot of awareness but her awareness and her thinking are blocking her from a deeper connection to spirit and to the essence of who she truly is.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode228]

We can’t answer spiritual questions with the mind. That is just the nature of spiritual questions. They can’t be answered through the intellect. I have found that sometimes the smarter you are, or the more you are in your head, the harder it is to meditate, to find a connection to spirit, and to drop into your heart. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It just means when we have a strong mind it likes to hold on to thinking and control with a tighter grip.

We think and think and think about how to figure something out but how do we figure out a truth? You can figure out a puzzle, you can figure out a math problem or how to build something but you can’t figure out enoughness. There is no mathematical equation to figure out love. You just feel it. There is no structured formula to tell you that you feel love for somebody. It’s a feeling and so is enoughness and oneness. When we have a strong thinking mind it’s hard to access true unconditional love.

It isn’t until we have an experience of God that we really know we are whole and complete and knowing, no matter what.

There are only a few spots left for my Signature Spring Retreat. To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

•  Are you someone who really likes to know things?
•  Do you struggle with worthiness or feeling enough?
•  Does some part of you believe that worthiness is based on what you can do or accomplish? Or, that someone else’s worthiness is based on what they can do?
•  Do you feel connected to God?
•  Does satisfaction or fulfillment feel fleeting to you?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle believes that worthiness is directly tied to actions and would like guidance on how to reframe the idea and feel worthy from a spiritual perspective.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

•  She feels unworthy spiritually.
•  She never feels satisfied.
•  She was raised in a religious household but doesn’t subscribe to all the beliefs.
•  She enjoys rules and structure in her life.
•  She teaches yoga.
•  She is mind-dominant.
•  She associates her thoughts with who she is.
•  She is ready to surrender.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

•  She needs to figure out who she is, if not her thinking mind.
•  She should consider getting a dog.
•  She needs to give God and the universe permission to send her clear messages or invitations.
•  She needs to adopt a spiritual practice.
•  She needs to see herself through the lens of self-compassion.
•  She needs to consider joining other like-minded people at my Spring Retreat.

Takeaways:

•  Listen to last week’s episode, Breaking Up with a Religion.
•  Sign up for my Personal Mastery Course.
•  Put out the call to have a spiritual experience for your highest good to bring in a workshop, the teacher, the ceremony to help you have an experience of God.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

My husband, Stef Sifandos, is back on the show.  We talk about how to disagree in any relationship in a healthy way and share our seven-step process for navigating an argument. This is great info for any relationship and imperative for romantic ones.

This episode is about consciously and completely leaving a religion someone else chose for you. Today’s caller, Christina, has recently discovered what her core wounding is and she is in spiritual crisis. She would like guidance on how to protect herself during her vulnerable self-discovery process.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode227]

When we leave a religion, whether we drift away from it or there is a point where we cut the cord, it is like a breakup. And, on some level, we are changing the course of our religious beliefs especially if we are baptized into a certain religion. Our soul, for whatever reason, decided to come through those parents who baptized us in a religion so when we leave it, it is important to have a healthy breakup with it. Not just leave in anger or run away. There are soul contracts. This makes it important to make peace when you leave it.

Just like you would want to leave a relationship with looking at “What are the lessons I’ve learned,” “What are the things that I really want to take with me,” “What were the things I loved about the person,” and “What are the gifts that came from the relationship?”

We want to ask ourselves similar questions when we leave a religion. It’s even a deeper spiritual process because then we have to find God, whatever God means to us, in a new way.

And, dark energies can be a scary subject to speak of, especially when we grow up hearing about things like the Devil, Satan, or dark entities. Sometimes our own unprocessed, unconscious stuff can create some crazy visuals to get our attention about certain things. Instead of considering what the darkness means, try thinking about how you can increase your connection to the highest source of light and love. The most important thing is to surrender to unconditional love and light.

There are only a few spots left for my Signature Spring Retreat. To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

If you live in Austin, Texas, keep your calendar open for the last two weeks of September for a retreat for both men and women hosted by me and Stefan.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Were you baptized or raised in a particular religion but you left it or do not practice those traditions anymore?
• Do you feel not enough?
• Are you having trouble finding your tribe or the people you really connect with?
• Do you have experiences with dense or unexplained energies that you can’t explain?

Christina’s Question:

Christina recently discovered her core wounding and would like guidance on how to protect herself as she treads along the vulnerable path to self-discovery.

Christina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She yearns for the approval of others.
• She is a people pleaser.
• She is leaning into being an empath.
• She sometimes feels a dark masculine energy.
• She was raised as a Mormon but left the religion when she was 19.
• She has always been a sensitive person.
• She feels alone in her spirituality.
• There was sexual abuse within her family.
• She is searching for her tribe.
• She is in a spiritual crisis.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to take back her power and deepen her spiritual practice.
• She needs to stay out of judgment. 
• She needs to practice chanting the sound ‘hu.’
• She needs to ask for a spiritual teacher who can support her emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• She needs to embrace a conscious breakup plan from the Mormon religion.
• She needs to consider joining other empaths for my Spring Retreat.

Takeaways:

• Practice the meditation from this podcast.
• If you have unresolved issues from a religion you don’t practice anymore, consider how you can bring completion and healthy closure to it.
• Explore how you can make an intention to deepen your spiritual practice and connection to your higher power this year.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

In this last episode to support you in feeling supported as you walk into this next decade, Christine offers a more feminine approach and guided meditation for clarifying goals.  This is a must listen if you are feeling a call to be more repetitive and inspired. 

This episode is about finding your voice when you have low self-worth. Today’s caller, Sarah, calls in asking about a breakup but as usual, we dive deeper into core issues she has been carrying around since before her birth.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode226]

Not being able to see things from a self-honoring perspective is one of the many side effects of low self-worth. People who have zero self-worth give up on themselves completely and don’t call in or listen to podcasts like this. If you believe you have low self-worth I want you to recognize the ways in which you act that demonstrate your self-worth. I promise they are there. You can’t just focus on how you have no or low self-worth because it’s not true. You wouldn’t be listening to this if you didn’t. Acknowledge the ways you take care of yourself.

Even if you are an introvert you need to take up space and be seen. Especially in your most intimate relationships. Low self-worth can make it challenging to attract a healthy relationship.

If something in this call resonates with you, you may have a leaving pattern. A leaving pattern is a coping mechanism or a personality pattern we often develop if we have an in-the-womb trauma or birth trauma. It’s when we don’t feel safe to come into the world. The coping mechanism makes us good at checking out. It’s also common for people who have a leaving pattern to avoid confrontation and often not speak up for themselves. A big part of healing the leaving pattern is to not tolerate shitty situations, to not settle.

Don’t miss out on tonight’s group coaching call. It’s about setting your intentions for the year and how to be an empath in 2020. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to join in and to access group coaching call archives visit ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays

To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode for more information.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Have you gone through a heartbreak that you still haven’t gotten over?
• Do you often do things because you feel obligated or forced?
• Is it hard for you to speak up?
• Do you feel invisible?
•  Is there a calling you want to pursue but self-doubt gets in the way?

Sarah’s Question:

Sarah recently experienced a break-up from a relationship that she thought was “the one” and would like guidance on how to move forward.

Sarah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She says she hasn’t had a broken heart before.
• She found herself changing during her relationship.
• She wouldn’t speak up for herself.
• She didn’t feel an intimate connection with her ex.
• Her parents divorced when she was 16.
• Her parents didn’t know they were having twins.
• She is emotionally intimate with her twin sister.
• She has abandonment issues.
• She doesn’t know how to handle the emotions she is feeling.
• She feels uncomfortable when she is given attention.
• She has low self-worth.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to release the judgment she places on herself.
• She needs to work with a therapist or coach using regressive therapy.

Takeaways:

• Think about your birth and early childhood. Was there any trauma? Did you feel safe and wanted? Explore it and cover it in your personal development work.
• If you do relate to the leaving pattern, if you are good at checking out of your body and going into the spiritual world, I encourage you to do things to get you more into your body.
• Consider your own self-worth. If you resonate with it being low, commit to doing some work around it. Investing in yourself is a great way.
• Come to my Spring Retreat or Personal Mastery course.
• Make a list of all the people you’ve held back your words to and make a commitment to get them out.
• If you have a dream you want to pursue tell more people about it, own it.

Sponsor:

DR Vitamin Solutions is well known among nutritionists and vitamin junkies for sourcing quality brands from every niche of the supplement industry. DR Vitamin Solutions is offering 5% off all purchases to Over and On With It listeners if they use the discount code ‘Hassler5’ during check out at DRVitaminSolutions.com. Orders of $49 and over include free shipping.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

This episode is about overcoming people-pleasing patterns and getting into alignment with who you truly are. Today’s caller, Emily, recognizes she has people-pleasing patterns but finds herself withdrawing from others. She is exhausted by the effort it takes to socialize and doing what other people expect of her. If you are a people pleaser and an introvert, this is an important call for you to listen to.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode225]

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Waitlist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist for this show