Over It And On With It

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Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: We're In This Together with Mike Robbins 0

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Jun 20, 2020

Christine chats with longtime friend and colleague, Mike Robbins about how to learn, grow, and just be an overall better human. His new book

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging is incredibly timely. For the past 20 years, he’s been a sought-after speaker and consultant who delivers keynotes and seminars for some of the top organizations in the world.

He and his work have been featured in the New York Times and the Harvard Business Review, as well as on NPR and ABC News. He’s a regular contributor to Forbes, hosts his own podcast (called We’re All in This Together), and his books have been translated into 15 different languages.

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EP 249: Let Go of Guilt for Good with Lynn 0

Jun 17, 2020

This incredibly touching call is about forgiveness and letting go of guilt. Today’s caller, Lynn, feels she was partially responsible for her son’s death and wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn his passing. Lynn is very brave to be vulnerable and share her story. In this session, we work through a tough topic, especially for mothers. Be prepared.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode249]

When something happens, we can blame ourselves so much that we become the judge and the jury that crucifies us. We can get stuck in a thick soup of guilt.

And, when we have a big trauma, like the passing of someone, we can think that we’re only upset about that event especially when it is something big like losing a child. However, most traumas, massive expectation hangovers, or losses trigger past things that made us feel in similar ways. We can get stuck in a loop that we can’t get out of in terms of the guilt cycle. It’s difficult to process grief when you are stuck in guilt.

Grief is hard and when we add guilt to it, it can feel unsurmountable. When you lose someone, especially a child, I don’t know that the pain ever goes away. However, going through the grief process helps to heal it enough for you to be able to move forward.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you suffer from guilt? Have you done something and you think that you did something terribly wrong and you just can’t forgive yourself, even if it’s years later?
Are you a parent, especially a mother, who thinks no matter what you do you are never doing enough?
Have you had a break up that you never really got over? Specifically a break up where you were left for another person?
Do you know things spiritually but have a hard time accepting them on a human level?

Lynn’s Question:

Lynn has been grieving over her son’s death but hasn’t been able to forgive herself for his suffering.

Lynn’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels divided between her emotional and spiritual self.
She is stuck in feelings of grief, guilt, and regret.
She sought help from grief groups and through multiple healing techniques.
Her son was the victim of a violent crime.
She feels she should have done more to help her son.
Her ex-husband left her and their three children for another woman.
She may be keeping her son’s memory alive through her guilt and shame.
She has a limiting belief that she could have done better as a mom.
She wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn her son.
She doesn’t feel supported in her current marriage.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do deep forgiveness work and process anger from her past.
Give herself permission to open her heart and to be happy again.
Resist punishing herself.

Takeaways:

If you are feeling guilty about something, do some journaling. Ask yourself, ‘What is this bringing up from my past that I need to forgive myself for?’
Forgive yourself for buying into any judgments you have made against yourself.
Mothers, it’s OK to have boundaries with your children.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Shift Your Mindset with Topsie Vandenbosch 0

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Jun 13, 2020

Mindset coach and clinical therapist Topsie Vandenbosch joins Christine to talk about how to have a healthier mindset. We talk about getting out of unhealthy situations, getting over imposter syndrome and Topsie works with female entrepreneurs who are str

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EP 248: Be Yourself No Matter What Anybody Else Thinks with Ram 0

Jun 10, 2020

This call is about identifying what is blocking you from stepping into your power. Today’s caller, Ram, has something to say but fears the judgment of others. He is repressing anger about never being seen for who he truly is. How many of us identify with that?

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode248]

When we have stuck emotions we feel stuck in life because it takes a lot of energy to suppress repressed emotions. Repressing our emotions robs us of our creative expression and our creative energy. So, unless we deal with our anger and rage it’s going to leak out in other ways and it’s going to sabotage us.

When men, in particular, don’t deal with their anger and hurt in healthy ways or they don’t step into their power in a healthy way, they try to overpower others. Men who don’t take the more aggressive route generally become passive and neither help us because we need strong men to fight this fight with us. I acknowledge men who are willing to learn to process anger in a healthy way.

Sometimes we give too much power to people who can’t see us and that is what is beautiful about the awakening happening right now. So much is coming up and out in our world as more and more people are speaking their truth. We need awake people and lightworkers in all fields to bring consciousness and love into the world. No one else can give us permission to be ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re in limbo — like you know what to do and feel called to do it but just can’t seem to make it happen?
Do you feel disconnected from either your masculine or feminine energy?
Are you scared, even terrified, of judgment from others, which keeps you from moving forward?
Do you feel like a fish out of water in your culture, country, or family?

Ram’s Question:

Ram thinks he is in healing limbo. He feels disconnected from his masculine energy and is scared to show his true self to the world.

Ram’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He is sensitive and empathic.
His previous career/identity was frantic and Madmen like.
He is afraid to share his true nature.
He feels disconnected from his culture.
He doesn’t feel he can be his true self.
He becomes deeply invested in his work.
He is tapping into the collective frustration.
He lives vicariously through other people.
He feels the way to survive is to mute himself.
There is anger in his body and it wants attention.
He feels wronged, suppressed, and disempowered.
He is breaking a paradigm.
Managing his anger is taking all his energy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Work to change external circumstances to shift internally.
Find the anger within and release it to become empowered.
Work with anger in a healthy way.
Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for my Temper Tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover or join the Personal Mastery course.
Move into self-forgiveness.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: We Are in the Great Awakening. How to Navigate and Understanding Your Role 0

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Jun 6, 2020

In this episode, Christine speaks about how to navigate this challenging time with love. She also shares her insight on how and why this is the "Great Awakening" we have all been preparing for. Christine shares how we can all heal racism and how being anti-racist is truly about being a loving and awakening human being along with action steps you can take. Learn how you can step into your unique role in this changing ecosystem. Receive a prayer you can use to help shift mass consciousness.

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EP 247: I Feel Like a Failure with Alex 0

Jun 3, 2020

This call is about self-compassion and empowerment. Today’s caller, Alex, judges herself for not being where she feels she ‘should’ be in life and for not breaking free from a toxic relationship. She wants guidance on how to move forward but must first work through her unresolved wounding. No one makes significant changes by beating themselves up. True transformation and true change come from love.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode247]

When we judge ourselves as a failure we continue to feel like a failure because adding judgment only creates more self-loathing and it lowers our self-worth. It’s important to know that at any given moment we are doing the best we can at the time.

It’s not an excuse not to do better. It is like Maya Angelou says ‘the first time you didn’t know any better, the second time you know better, so do better.’ We always have the opportunity. There is always another time. The amazing thing about life is that as time keeps going on we are consistently presented with additional opportunities to do better. But, if you look back and only see yourself as a failure you’re not going to have the confidence and self-love you need to actually do better the next time you will just keep repeating the same ‘failure.’

It is important that we feel empowered so we don’t give our power away to others or exert our power over others.

Take a deep dive into how to understand your attachment style and heal your inner child in our three-day virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Stefanos and I will hold space for both the healthy masculine and feminine. If you can’t join us live, it will be recorded. ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re failing at life and not where you should be?
Do you have an alcoholic or addict parent and maybe did you have another parent that you were close to — maybe even a little too close?
Is it hard for you to break free of toxic relationships or situations even though you know that they are not healthy for you?

Alex’s Question:

Alex is tired of feeling like a victim and would like clarity on how to move forward in her life.

Alex’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She walked away from a toxic relationship but keeps in contact with him.
She is looking for a new job.
She feels like a failure and has hit rock bottom.
Her father is an alcoholic and a workaholic.
Her father didn’t pay much attention to her.
She lost touch with herself at a young age.
She feels alone.
She didn’t find value in therapy.
She is very close to her mother and doesn’t want to disappoint her.
She carries around shame.
She wants to learn to love herself.
She is love-starved.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Research codependence and work to break free of her codependent patterns.
Focus on self-compassion and empowerment.
Remind herself daily that she is enough and she doesn’t need anyone else’s approval.
Believe that she can take care of herself and meet her own needs.
Consider getting a coach or therapist to guide her.
Reparent herself and speak to herself in a more loving way.
Investigate her spiritual life more.

Takeaways:

Join us for the virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.
Look where you might have codependent patterns. Do some online research or check out Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie.
Make a list of all your perceived failures or mistakes and reframe them. For every single one, I want you to write down at least three things you learn from them to start to see your failures and mistakes from a different perspective.
Do something that fills your cup. Do something that makes you feel safe and nurtured, something that calms that inner child.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.