Over It And On With It

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CC: Ritual and Guided Visualization to bring in 2021 0

Dec 26, 2020

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year's ritual and guides you through a meditation/visualization to consciously call in 2021.

You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

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EP 276: Sharing a Secret and Letting Go with Scott 0

Dec 23, 2020

This call is about healing shame by sharing your truth with the people you love. Today’s caller, Scott, is concerned about how his parents will react when he shares a childhood secret with them. He is asking for guidance on how to approach the subject without upsetting them. If you relate to holding in a secret, or things you do not want to say or do not know how to bring forward you will find this conversation helpful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode276]

Revealing secrets is difficult for many of us. Sometimes it is easier to keep things brushed under the rug when we do not want to deal with a particular conversation.

But, secrets can be toxic and carry shame. Do I believe that we should tell the people we love everything? I don't know. Not always. But, when it is something we allow to perpetuate a pattern that protects others, especially our parents, above speaking our truth, often the truth will prevail. When we speak our truth we must do it with love.

Protecting our children is one thing, but protecting our parents is a different conversation. If we are trying to protect our parents, we are taking on the parental role. I’m not saying that we should not consider their emotions. However, if we have a pattern of being the parent, and worrying about our parents while sacrificing our truth and our vulnerability, it is different.

Let’s transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a secret from a family member or friend and you want to share it but you are afraid of upsetting them so you keep it inside?
Did you grow up feeling alone?
Were you the person who had to protect family members or parent your parents?
Are you ready to break patterns that don’t serve you anymore?

Scott’s Question:

Scott is looking for guidance about sharing a secret with his family he has had since childhood but does not want to upset them.

Scott’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He fears the shame and blame associated with sharing his secret.
His story will soon be widely shared.
He wants to protect his family.
He is speaking with a professional therapist.
He feels it is an important part of his story.
He felt he had to be brave for his family.
He stays away from his family and feels alone.
He felt he had to parent his parents.
He finally feels seen.
He does not want to hide any longer.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Be aware he can not control someone else’s feelings.
Deliver his secret from a loving place.
Tell his parents about his loneliness.
Be authentic, loving, and vulnerable when he speaks with his parents.

Ask Yourself:

Where are you not being authentic? Where are you not being vulnerable? Where are you not speaking your truth because you are too afraid of someone else’s reaction?
In what ways were you not able to be a child in your relationship with your parents?
How can you take your rightful place, as a child, within your family?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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CC: A Ritual to Wrap Up 2020 and a Talk on Ascension Symptoms 0

Dec 19, 2020

Can you believe we are approaching the end of 2020? In this episode, Christine speaks about ascension symptoms you may be experiencing as we uplevel and upgrade. She also guides you through a process to complete 2020 with awareness and intention and let it go! This is part one of a ritual that Christine leads you through each year.

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EP 275: How to Heal a Wound from the Feminine with Lex 0

Dec 16, 2020

This call is about finding our nurturing, loving feminine inner voice. Today’s caller, Lex, would like guidance with her patterns of inconsistency and quieting the harsh, critical voice of her mother in her head. This call will resonate with anyone who had a challenging, traumatic, dysfunctional, or abusive relationship with their mother.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode275]

When we do not process our anger, it creates a rebel or saboteur within us. It is difficult to be consistent if we never had a model of a loving or consistent parent. We create a rebel to protect ourselves from emotional abuse and the rebel energy is often tied to anger. If you have a rebel or a self-sabotager, think about how it is anger in disguise.

The more we deal with our anger and deal with the ways we have been abused, betrayed, or neglected, the less we rely on the rebel to protect us.

If a child has a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder or is mentally abusive in some way, the child knows kindness can’t be trusted. They have to walk on eggshells all the time. So, when kind loving energy does come it is difficult to be open to it and trust it. Even though deep down we all trust feminine energy, deeply-ingrained patterns can confuse it with past experiences with females in our past.

Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a mother wound or a wound with the feminine that is disconnecting you from your femininity, your love of your body, or your ability to care and nurture yourself?
Do you have an inner rebel and every time you get consistent about something that rebel comes in and just throws you off track?
Did you have a parent that stood by when your other parent abused you or didn’t treat you well and it made you feel like you just weren’t protected?
Do you struggle with trusting yourself or other people?

Lex’s Question:

Lex is looking for guidance on how to be consistent with her health routine.

Lex’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is concerned about her health and weight.
She suffers from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).
She wants people to think about her positively.
She is inconsistent and self-sabotages herself.
People treat her differently because of her physical appearance.
Her mother had narcissistic tendencies.
Her father didn’t offer her safety from her mother.
She is passionate about justice and human rights.
She wasn’t nurtured in her childhood.
She has perfectionistic tendencies.
She doesn’t feel enough and doesn’t trust.
She was triggered by meditation.
Her inner rebel helps her to survive and protects her.
She gets stuck in a cycle of pushing, rebelling, and hopelessness.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Call in nurturing, mothering energy.
Look for guides to help her find her voice, her sovereignty.
Listen to and surround herself with feminine voices.
Deal with the anger she feels toward her mother through emotional release writing.
Do the temper-tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover or Personal Mastery.
Find a therapist who works with somatic, trauma, or behavioral therapy.
When she hears her inner critic speak up, recognize it, and comfort herself.

Ask Yourself:

If you resonate with wanting to draw in more of the feminine voice and you want to find your loving, nurturing feminine side, surround yourself with loving, nurturing feminine energy voices.
Have a conversation with your rebel, ask it what it is protecting you from. Do anger release work to see if you are rebelling because you are angry. Download my temper tantrum technique at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
Forgive yourself for your past actions.
Celebrate all the ways you have shifted and your growth.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: What is Sacred Union? 0

Dec 12, 2020

To wrap up the love and relationship series, Christine and Stef have a special gift for you. They recorded an experiential process to support you on your journey to Sacred Union. In this episode, they define what Sacred Union is and explain the process. To download the experiential exercise for free, go to https://christinehassler.com/sacredunion/

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EP 274: A Couple’s Session: Healing Your Childhood Wounds in Your Relationship with Lorena and Jonathon 0

Dec 9, 2020

This call is about seeing a partner’s inner child wounding in an issue-based relationship. Today’s couple, Lorena and Jonathon, are looking for guidance on how to connect more intimately with each other and manage their masculine and feminine energies in their relationship. We uncover that inner child wounding is more at play in the relationship than masculine/feminine dynamics. Couples and singles will find value in today’s episode.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode274]

In a relationship, we cannot hope the other person heals us or completes us. That is codependency. However, we can set the intention for the relationship to be a safe space to heal. That is the beauty of a relationship. We always want to be doing our own work and healing our own stuff. Then, we can use the relationship, which is often a triggering event, as a place to heal our inner child wounding.

It is key in your intimate relationship to see his little boy, or see her little girl and understand the wounding. Know that what you need might be different than what your partner needs. Often, we love based on how we want to be loved and how our inner child needs to be loved versus how the other person in our life needs to be loved.

A conscious couple/sacred union doesn’t mean everything’s okay all the time and we are living in awesome ecstasy, having total non-violent communication, and having amazing sex all the time. We are human; it doesn’t always work like that. Being a conscious couple/sacred union means you are willing to do the work.

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re showing up too masculine or too feminine in your relationship?
Is your relationship going through challenges, maybe you have separated, and you want to restart and get a fresh take on an old relationship?
Do you understand how your inner child experiences and your inner child wounding is impacting your intimacy and relationship?
Are you willing to see your current or future partner through the eyes of love? Are you willing to see that little boy or a little girl inside of them and truly seek to understand your partner rather than judge them or have expectations of them?

Lorena & Jonathon’s Question:

Lorena and Jonathon are looking for guidance on how to connect intimately and manage their masculine and feminine energies within the relationship.

Lorena & Jonathon’s Key Insights and Ahas:

They have been together for 12 years.
They separated for a time.
He is cautious about being in his masculine. She is in her masculine a lot.
They both come from dysfunctional families.
They are in an issue-based relationship.
She lived in fear as a child and couldn’t trust people in her life.
He spent a lot of time trying to fit in.
She has high expectations of herself and others.
He gets angry and frustrated when he hears negative feedback.
She wants to feel more emotionally connected to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Jonathon — Find his inner parent who responds to the critical voice that tells him he is enough.
Jonathon — Listen to Episode #273 with Ron.
Jonathon — Find his fire and tap into his repressed anger.
Lorena — Tell her little girl she is safe and know she can relax now.
Lorena — Acknowledge her husband for what he does.
Understand each other’s inner child wounding.
Find three questions to ask each other as a nighttime ritual.
Give each other more hugs throughout the day.

Ask Yourself:

Are you seeing and understanding your partner’s wounding?
Are you loving your partner and treating them the way you need to be treated and expecting them to do the same. Or, are you loving them based on what they need?
Do you clearly communicate what you need from your partner?
What is your biggest hurt from childhood and how does it show up in your relationship?
What is your deepest desire and how can you ask for what you need in your relationship?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Couples get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Download this Episode

CC: Why the Grunt Work is Worth it in Relationships with Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder 0

Dec 5, 2020

Christine and Stef sit down with an awesome couple who also both happen to be coaches and therapists. Listen in to a very honest conversation about what it takes to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

A little more about our guests:

Jayson Gaddis, author, podcaster, speaker, and entrepreneur, is the founder of The Relationship School, an impact-based company dedicated to helping people work out their differences and have fulfilling long-term partnerships. Jayson is considered a world leader in relationships. He founded The Relationship School®, is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching®. He trains people from around the world how to be effective relational leaders and coaches. He’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 and has two beautiful kids. They live in Boulder, Colorado. When he doesn’t live and breathe this relationship stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.

Ellen Boeder Bio

Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist and coach for couples in Boulder, Colorado, who has been interested in how relationships actually work for as long as she can remember. Studying with innovative researchers and cutting edge practitioners in the field of psychology, relationships, and also yoga, for over 20 years has helped her integrate her approach to working with people in a sensitive, straightforward, deeply informed, and embodied way. The most high-level training she does is usually at home with her husband and two young children, as she finds her way through the real, raw, and beautiful experience of being deeply intertwined with others. Ellen is also a faculty member for The Relationship School, is a long time yoga practitioner, and writes a blog that incorporates her studies in psychology with her life experience as a mother, called Rearranged by Motherhood.

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EP 273: Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin with Ron 0

Dec 2, 2020

This call is about overcoming apathy and releasing anger. Today’s caller, Ron, was constantly shamed by a volatile father. As an adult, he feels detached and numb. He uses apathy as a coping mechanism. We work through how he can release his feelings and do inner child work. I offer some techniques and strategies to help him regain a healthy masculine identity.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode273]

When men have a volatile father, they become passive or hyper-aggressive. They go to extremes. They can become the alpha-dog and lash out or they become passive with emotional eating. It is a common father wound for men to have a degree of shame that goes in either direction.

Shame is toxic and the way it impacts us all as humans is similar and different. How it impacts men is particularly detrimental, for women as well, but I've seen it impact men in a way where they lose touch with their masculine energy and become more passive in life.

It is nearly impossible to come out of being raised in a fear-based home, having a volatile parent, and never feeling like you got the love, affection, and approval you needed and grow up having no issues with it. As you might intellectually want yourself to be different, until you go back and do the healing work and dive deep, you are going to find yourself in the pantry sneak eating or whatever your version of that is.

If you are not living the life you want to be living, it is just feedback that there is more work to do. Inner child wounding is sometimes tough to get at because we bury it so deep. There is no shame and being willing to forgive the person is the first step.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
Are you chronologically an adult and keep up with your grown-up responsibilities, but inside you don’t feel like one?
Are you mostly passive except for those occasional moments you lose your temper?
Did you get the love, attention, and affection you truly need and deserve from your parents, especially your father?

Ron’s Question:

Ron does not feel comfortable in his skin and he feels he does not belong. He would like guidance on how to break through the patterns.

Ron’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He practices negative self-talk.
He doesn’t feel like an adult, even though he is responsible.
He is afraid he will get in trouble for what he does.
He hides his eating habits.
His father was quick to anger and volatile.
He feels detached from his family.
He has numbed himself and feels apathy toward his parents.
He craves feeling and pleasure.
He does try to get his anger out.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Connect to his aggression, rage, and anger to get to the hurt.
Do the Temper Tantrum Technique from Expectation Hangover.
Write an ‘F-U’ letter to his parents he doesn’t send.
Tap into his masculine energy to find his fire, his warrior to allow him to feel again.
Find his inner coach voice, not his inner critic.

Takeaways:

If you aren't feeling like an adult, think about where you got frozen in childhood. Many people freeze at a certain age even though we can do adult things.
Do emotional processing. Use this free anger release download, ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
If you find yourself sneak eating or the kind of behavior you do in the shadows to soothe yourself or give you momentary pleasure and escapism when you feel the urge to do it, put your hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and ask your little one what they need.
If eating is a coping mechanism for you, listen to my “Coaches Corner with Samantha Skelly, Hungry for Happiness”
Reconnect to your little one and give them a chance to express their feelings. Be the parent to yourself you never had.

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get your new favorite stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.